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 Posted: Sun Jul 08, 2012 1:37 pm
Today was a quiet day. A lazy day. A day where a man could just sit in his room with nothing but his striped boxers on and relax. Maybe watch a movie or look at some porn.
The vampire boil yawned, sprawled out on his equally striped couch with Hooker Boots and Stripper Heels laying on his lap and drooling profusely. Hence the towel he had carefully tucked under the duo. "Aww. Does daddy's little hooligans need their furs brushed?" He cooed to the little monsters that looked up at him with pleading eyes.
Of course they did. It was all matted from them rolling in Jack knew what and drooling everywhere, but it didn't seem to put the vampire off. With a smile, he started to comb through the mess of fur on one, then the other with the SkreeV playing some soap opera in the background. Looked like Loretta had slept with Jonathan's brother again. That skank.
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Posted: Sun Jul 08, 2012 2:32 pm
The last couple of days after Prom had not gone well for the demon. It was safe to say he was livid. Between the rejection and fight with Riyo to the gang bang of Hel and her friends the demon was ready to take it out on someone. Someone who had managed to find a small spot under his skin to pick at.
The beard that Hel had given him had been shaved mostly though Titus had left a goatee in place. Something of a reminder that he owed the little wingless Valkyrie a visit after this. A visit that evolved a good beating. It would just have to come after Titus had healed. His side was still aching from his run in with the end of the reaper's spear and his body was still sore in general from where Mitsu had laid on him in her true form. All of them would pay it just happened someone else would have to pay first. A certain vampire who had gotten this whole ball a rollin'.
It hadn't taken much time on Titus' part to figure out where the new student was staying and track him down. He semi limped to the undead dorms and stood in front of the door with furrowed brows before he drew back a fist to bang against it.
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Posted: Sun Jul 08, 2012 2:58 pm
Unfortunately for Lou all the wood in his dorm was apparently close to kicking the bucket much like the boil had. Titus's fist went right through it.
The boil froze in brushing his precious foxfire's fur, head turning towards the door. Unsatisfied customer perhaps? No, Lou always satisfied. So who could that fist have come from?
Hooker Boots and Stripper Heels were gently sat on the ground as Lou arose from his big, comfy couch. Was he afraid to see who it was? Perish the thought. The boil probably knew this was going to end with him getting hurt no matter what happened so might as well try to prevent some damage to the dorm. He was good at absorbing hits anyways. "Well thanks. How did you know I needed a peep hole?" He called to the person on the other side before taking a peek through. "Oh! Well if it isn't my friend the virgin." Honestly what could this boil be mad about? Without hesitation, the vampire opened the door for Titus and held up his arms as if they were old chums. "My boil, come in! Come in! Welcome to my abode!"
Yes, he was still in just his boxers.
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Posted: Sun Jul 08, 2012 7:27 pm
Despite the cheery and welcoming voice Titus waiting impatiently until Lou opened the door. As the boil opened his arms wide he would find a fist suddenly flying toward his face without a single word uttered on Titus' end. Honestly, calling him 'my friend the virgin' didn't help improve his mood any.
"Good to see you too," Titus said immediately after before welcoming himself into the boil's dorm and then stopping....."What the hell is with all the strips?"
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Posted: Sun Jul 08, 2012 7:39 pm
Lou let out no sounds as he went flying across the room, though for once his face seemed less than pleased as his almost nude body met the hard floor.
Both foxfires immediately came running over, whining and licking him with their creepy tongues. Just watching it was a little disturbing.
He stayed down five seconds tops before the vampire pushed up off the ground and rubbed his now very tender cheek. "I'm sensing some hostility here." The boil mumbled, managing to smile through the pain. How the hell...?
"Oh, you like it? I'm not much of a color person, you see. I find that horizontal and vertical stripes, when arranged in the right order, give very pleasing results." That sounded... Kinda smart for a boil of his caliber. "Also less to distract the ladies when they waltz their pretty little butts in here." That was more like it.
As the boil stood, he began to tap his chin, giving Titus a look over. "You look like you're having a bad day. I doubt you've come to confide secrets in me or anything of the sort." Oh, it was always fun trying to figure out the 'why's' of a situation. "Having ghoul problems then?" Really it wasn't that wild of a guess. That was practically all they talked about at prom. Or... All Lou really talked about.
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Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 4:07 pm
"Oh good, I was afraid there was going to be a miscommunication in the gesture of nailing you in the jaw. Though I can do it again if it drives the point home." Titus said, a hand suddenly favoring his side. Probably should have waited more than a day to go punching people's lights out.
Titus' eyes narrowed in on the vampire when he explained about his decor, not sure if he was being serious or just...oh...there was what he was expecting. That made more sense.
"A bad day was only the start of my day," Titus grumbled though he quickly looked away when Lou brought up ghoul troubles. "I wouldn't say its so much trouble as....I have no ******** idea what goes on in their heads. You think you've figured them out and then bam they go psychotic." Okay that was probably more sharing than was needed.
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Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 4:17 pm
"That won't be necessary, I assure you." Lou tried to look confident, though he couldn't rightfully hide the fact that he didn't enjoy knuckle sandwiches.
Ah! Ahahah. Yes, that was exactly what was wrong. Did Lou look proud that he'd just figured out 2 + 2? Maybe a little bit. "Ah, that's your problem then, my friend." The boil started, scooping up his two foxfires and moving back over to the couch. "You see, you're trying to understand women." After placing his precious pets back in his lap, he reached into the couch cushion and grabbed the remote. It was time to hit the mute button.
"You'll never understand women, and once you've got that, you understand women." Then he reached into the couch cushions again and retrieved...
... A dry erase board? "Where's that mark... Oh yes. Here." The boil pulled out a red marker from roughly the same spot. "Please, sit. I can explain this to you."
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Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 4:30 pm
"....."
"........"
"................................."
"I don't follow." How the hell did that even make sense. Was this vampire high or something? Did he manage to grab a snack off someone who was stoned out of their mind? Titus was fairly certain he needed to smoke something before that even remotely clicked.
Still the demon followed the vampire back toward his couch and watched him produce a dry erase board from his couch. This day just got more and more special. "Alright, explain away oh wise one." If he sounded a little snarky...it was because he was. How was he supposed to take anyone seriously when they weren't even wearing pants? 8| "By the way do you often sit alone in nothing but your underwear so your foxfires can comfort you in your down time?"
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Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 4:42 pm
Lou paused what he was about to do and looked up at Titus's question about his state of dress and pets. "There is nothing wrong with a man enjoying freedom in the sanctity of his own room. Maybe if you did it more you wouldn't look so constipated all the time." The boil said simply. "And they're not comforting me. I'm comforting them. Surely you've noticed their 'only a mother could love' faces." He added while scribbling on his dry erase board, only turning it around when he was done.
A -> B
"This... Is an example of a man's train of thought. We're simplistic creatures. Generally our emotions don't interfere with reaching that B. The arrow is just a simple process, and what you see is what you get. No?"
The boil turned it back around and erased with the palm of his hand, this time taking much longer to write down the process.
A -> 2 jump cuts over to D then spirals down towards Pi divided by 6 to the second power subtracted by the square root of 2 and five quarters combined with the ingredients of polyurethane will eventually equal out into something similar to B.
"See... This is a woman's train of thought to get to the exact same solution. Because they let their emotions and trivial bullshit affect their reasoning, it might take them twice if not three times as long to come up with the exact same answer." The boil spoke matter-of-factly and glanced back up at his demon companion. "Which is why I say when you accept the fact that you don't understand women, you start to understand them. Questions?"
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Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 5:53 pm
Uh huh...yep....uh huh. Titus didn't get it, that fact was clear. Whatever mathematical formula Lou was trying to lay out for him went right over his head.
"Yeah I have a question..." Titus paused as if trying to figure out how to word his dilemma. Something that truly touched on how he felt about the subject. "Why....have you not <********> put on any pants?" Honestly a 'one sec while I put some pants on' would had sufficed in this situation. Instead Lou had just sauntered back to his couch and had a seat.
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Posted: Wed Jul 11, 2012 6:57 pm
Lou sat there silently, unmoving as he looked at the boil. "... Is it really that distracting? Are you more interested as to what's in these boxers than what's coming out of my mouth? Maybe that's why you have ghoul problems more than anything." And if so, Lou wouldn't be able to fix his issues.
But if it would get him to shut up, the vampire shooed his foxfires away before standing. The boil wanted pants? He'd get pajama pants and that was it. One grumbling foot, then the other. "Better, you prude? Is this enough for your innocent virgin eyes?" Lou threw up his arms dramatically, looking back at Titus with a 'happy now?' look.
"Okay. Check it. Simplest words I can explain to you. Women are batshit insane and the more you try to understand it, the more likely you'll end up crazy yourself. So don't." There. Words a toddler could understand. "Now do you want help getting laid or not?" That's what he'd come here for, right? Not just to punch a vampire in the face?
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Posted: Fri Jul 13, 2012 6:54 pm
"I have yet to have reason to really listen to what is coming out of your mouth," Titus admitted. "So far all I hear is mindless banter." Or maybe Titus really didn't understand. At least Lou took the time to go put some pants on. Well, pajama pants. It was honestly better than nothing.
"You keep bringing up that virgin thing," Titus sneered. "Like its not about to get you dissipated to the nurses office." They were on the fast road to friendship they were.
At least Lou had continued to explain. That was enough to distract Titus for the time being, especially the vampire's offer. "You'll....help?" Then Titus made a face. "What's the catch?"
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Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 8:45 am
"Well, here's a reason. If you're as stupid as you act I imagine you ******** up big time." Lou offered simply, throwing on a plain black shirt while he was at it. Fun didn't even begin to describe imagining all the terrible things the boil might've said.
"And you keep bringing up pain like it's a bad thing." This'd be a good way to keep Titus from punching him. The vampire trotted over, sat back down, and waggled his eyebrows at the demon. Though it seemed he had his attention when he mentioned help. Oh, this would be grand.
"Sure." Lou immediately responded to Titus's first question, propping his head up with his arm on the back of the sofa. "Catch? No catch. I'm not interested in monetary gain or any of that frivolous s**t." Though there was always the small chance he might get in trouble and need a little bailout of sorts... But the boil wasn't about to mention that right now. "I like the cut of your jib." Whatever that meant... "So lets get started then, shall we? Give me a recap of what happened so I know what you did wrong."
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Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 3:19 pm
Titus' eyes narrowed at the vampire though he wasn't entirely convinced. He came from a family that liked to drive pain home after all. Finding someone's physical weakness was somewhat or an art form. The demon also wasn't very sure he could tolerate the boil. He was ready to land a fist in his face if he so much as breathed at him the wrong way. It was probably lucky for Lou that breathing was optional.
When Lou said there would be no catch the demon eyed him for a long moment. Nothing ever came free and Titus knew this to be the absolute truth but he was also not above taking and leaving the vampire out to dry if it came up he needed something. The demon also had no idea what 'the cut of your jib' meant. What was even coming out of this boils mouth? Did he listen to himself when he said these things or did he just throw them to the wind and hope for the best?
"Alright...." Titus said skeptically, his trust in the boil not even really existent as he began to explain what happened when he first entered Riyo's room. He had even started with a nice gesture by bringing back her shoes. His explanation stopped at the point it began its downhill decline not sure if further information was needed. "And she took the time to look up on her phone how to say no in more than one way..."
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Posted: Sat Jul 14, 2012 9:45 pm
Lou sat quietly and listened to Titus's magical story of how he completely ******** up his sexual solicitation. The boil was almost complete in his failure, a masochist of emotions might've considered it a masterpiece. Though, the vampire's facial expression didn't change the whole time he listened. It was a conscious effort, but he wanted to hear the whole thing.
"... Damn." And he didn't even hear the whole thing, though how was he to know? "Then you just left? Well s**t where should I start..."
Lou began tapping his chin quietly, staring up at the ceiling as he contemplated what point he should begin with. "First of all, you don't just bring sex up like it's just a game of checkers. It's not. It's a different game all on it's own. You were on the right track with the shoes, though." That was probably the only thing he did right. "And hey, you weren't so stupid as to scream at her so at least there's that. This is fixable." Eheh. Heh.
"First thing you need to do is let her know why you're interested. It doesn't even have to be a lie. Just pick the nicest feature you can find and roll with it. Like tits. You can't go wrong there."
Sitting up straight, the boil looked into Titus's eyes. "Pretend I'm her. Say something nice about my rack."
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