Life continued. There was no show of tears, no depressive remarks, no put downs, no bullying, no drama, no gossip. There was nothing. To say the least, no one particularly noticed a change in Ami. A few commented on how well she was adapting to the life division. Another would tell how cold she seemed, but that was nothing special, nothing remarkable. It had always been that way.

If there was one thing people seemed to agree on in this seemingly random survey it was that Ami was a hard worker. Possibly too hard. She volunteered for all the overtime shifts. Took on far too many jobs for her own good. She was making leaps and bounds with her work, but at what cost? She was working, but didn't benefit from it- not in the way she was supposed to.

No, Ami was working to drive everything else away. If she could avoid thinking, she could avoid the self-hatred.

In this way, Ami dealt with it. Was it painful? Sure. She covered that up though. She cried at night, before Tori came back, or found her own place to do it during the day. As far as she was concerned, others didn't need to see her cry. It wasn't their pain, it was hers. Was everyone else happy with it, the way she wanted them to be? She wouldn't know if they noticed. Most didn't. A few bothered to ask if she was okay working overtime, but when Ami casually shrugged the workload strife off, they didn't pry. It was just how she functioned.

Her work with the academy's runes was getting better every day though. She was making some progress- at times she recognized Greek symbols, and she'd found an entire book guide to the Atlantean language that she could compare with the runes on her weapon. She'd actually found one on Junpei that she recognized! Sure she couldn't speak it or write it, but now she at least had a reference. It would take years to memorize all of this, but to be honest? Now that she was numbing everything else, she had all the time in the world. It was only a matter of time before she could recall things from memory. It would just take a little more practice- that's what she told herself.

The worst part was that even though she was making all this progress, she felt nothing. Small sparks of victory at best. Nothing really felt ... like anything. That was the problem from the beginning though, wasn't it?

In fact, when she analyzed her feelings to the deepest extent, she wondered if she really even liked Wilson the way one would traditionally "like" a person. She pictured cheesy romantic things, sure, but day to day things? Telling him "I love you" or holding hands down the halls? Not really what came to mind.

No, it was more the fact that Wilson made her feel anything at all. After Adam's betrayal, she'd shut herself off to the world. There was no need for emotions- strong ones- because it was inefficient. It was annoying, at best. So when Wilson had thrown her off her kilter with his kind personality, and the way he shrugged off her insults and always came back to her ... it felt kind of ... nice. She was noticed. He took into account how she was doing. He asked her questions about herself that she figured useless, pointless.

Things like her favorite food. Why she liked books so much. Teasing her about her dislike of the color purple. They were little pieces of Ami wedged so deeply in her being that she'd forgotten she even had them before Wilson.

< Ami, don't you think you ought to take a break? You look kinda tired. >

Ami didn't even hear his voice the first time. She was too concentrated on removing tiny FEAR cells from minipet tissues for further investigation. If she broke her concentration or looked away, she might've just collapsed on the table right then and there from exhaustion- something absolutely forbidden.

Her hands moved with exact precision. Each swipe was calculated, focused. The more she focused on this, the less she could focus on him.

< Ami, you have to take a break ... >

That time, he got her. The tiny tweezers clattered to the table, rolling out of her hands and onto the floor.

Her first reaction was anger. She spoke openly because it was late, and nobody was around to hear her. "Junpei what the hell?!" A heavy sigh escaped her lips- or was it a yawn? "I was this close to finishing. I've told you not to interupt me!" She blinked a few times, clearing her vision as she leaned down and picked up the tweezer. She stumbled the first time, but got them the second time. She went over to the sink to wash them off as she turned the microscope off.

< Sorry ... No wait I'm not sorry! Ami you need to take a break and sleep. >

"There's only so many hours in a day. I just transferred so I need to catch up and do my part," she said listlessly. The same excuse she'd been giving everyone else.

< Bullshit, > Junpei said roughly, but when Ami cringed he softened his tone. It was like a hangover she was so tired. Even loud noises in her BRAIN made her twitch. < You and I both know what this is about. It's okay to be sad and stuff, but c'mon. You gotta get past this. >

"What's the point? I'm doing fine where I am. I'm making a lot of progress- I figured out some of your damn runes!" Ami was stubborn, and bitten by rejection. There wasn't an easy remedy to her own personality backfiring in her face.

< That's not. What this. Is about. ADMIT IT. >

"Okay its not!" Ami gave up with a fit of desperation. "It's because I made a stupid move and told a guy with a girlfriend I liked him and he said no. There? Are you happy Junpei? Do you get off on seeing me wallow in how shitty I am?! I know I ******** messed up, but it'd really help if you didn't throw some salt in it."

< I don't care about what you did! I care about YOU. > Ami didn't react to the words at all, just kept cleaning the tweezers, scraping off a scrap of brown on the end.

A silence hung in the air for a while, neither party really knowing what to say. Ami was too angry and tired to argue further, Junpei didn't know how to make her see her error. After she'd put the microscope and FEAR samples away, instead of heading towards her dorm like Junpei had expected, she instead turned into the small reference library. She might as well get some reading done- maybe she could find something useful. There was nothing else to do after all.

That only pissed Junpei off. < Son of a witch- AMI LISTEN TO ME. > The scream was so loud that Ami had to hold her head. She was too tired to think of taking the clip off. It was too much effort. She still didn't respond to his plea. < Jack you don't even care do you? You know if you die, I die too? I hope you're happy then a*****e. >

Somehow, that got her. Ami knew she was an a*****e, but people didn't often say it to her face- never Junpei. He always called her names when they bickered, but never this harshly, never this serious. Her shoulders slumped in defeat. "What?" she said quietly, leaning against the doorframe.

< Did they not tell you? > His voice was angry, but mixed with a bit of surprise. < If you die, I die too. Kaput. Lights out. That, or I turn into a tablet and go back on the wall screech and someone else gets me. >

Of all things, that upset Ami. Tears formed in the corner of her eyes, but she pushed them away. No drops would fall today. Her face twisted a little and she said, "No." She couldn't even picture Junpei in the hands of people she knew, let alone a stranger entirely. "No y-you're mine."

A sigh of relief escaped Junpei's mouth, Ami could hear it. She'd finally gotten it. < I won't Ami, but ... now do you get why you have to sleep? > Ami nodded, wiping her face with her sleeve. She turned and began walking back towards her dorm. < Look ... I'm sorry. Don't cry, okay? > He was still an awkward teenage boy who couldn't stand seeing a girl cry after all.

I can't promise that. It was the truth.

They didn't talk much on her way back to the dorm. There wasn't much to say. As she flopped onto the little cot they'd deemed a "bed" she whispered a quiet, Sorry Junpei.

< S'okay Ams.

---

In the morning though, nothing changed. With sleep at least recovering part of her thought process, she unclipped Junpei and threw him in her pocket. It undoubtedly pissed him off. It would make him mad. She'd get an earful- mindful?- later.

Habits died hard.