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How long had it been? If Alex hadn't had his phone with him all that time, he wouldn't have really known. It had felt like ages had past, like years might have gone by while he had paced the floor in his room, feeling alone and lost. The steady, mundane repetition of those days had only been broken up twice. Once, when Mitzi had texted him, though he had taken care of that quickly enough, and a second time when Michi had stopped by his room, but again, that visit had only been fleeting before the zomboil had kicked her out the door.

Yes, he had been lost and alone, but he had chosen to stay that way.

But now...Now it seemed like it was over. The voices in his head had stopped earlier that day. He didn't know when it had happened exactly, since at some moments it seemed like he could just ignore them completely like they weren't even there, but at some point he did realize that he hadn't heard them in some time, and this time it had actually felt different, like it might actually be over. He had waited, of course, to make sure this theory was true, and was gratified to learn that it did indeed appear to be so.

With the voices gone he found that he also was feeling more like himself again. Less disconnected from the world, less full of doubts. He almost hated himself for remembering how he had felt before. How could he have possibly believed that his family would not want him anymore? How could he have given in to such a crippling sense of depression when he thought that Yin was leaving him? It all seemed so silly now, like some kind of unreasonable nightmare that made absolutely no sense and one could almost laugh at upon awakening if it hadn't felt so jack damned real.

But now here he was. As soon as he knew the voices were gone he had not hesitated to come here first. Memories of what had happened on the Isles still haunted him, to be sure, but this was his bonded, and Yin had come to him after everything that had happened so things had to be okay.

Still, as he reached out a hand towards the doorknob, he was surprised to see that his hand was trembling, and he hesitated, just staring at his hand for a moment. Was it apprehension or excitement to see Yin again that brought this on? He balled his hand up into a fist, biting his lower lip as he instead reached up as though to knock on the door instead. And yet again, he hesitated, his hand eventually falling back down to his side. What was he doing? He'd been in and out of this room countless times without knocking, why would he do so now? Muttering some choice words under his breath, he reached out again. Shaking hand or not, he was going in. There was an audible noise as he turned the knob and pushed the door in, a small metal clicking followed by the small squeaking noise a door sometimes makes at the hinges. The zomboil shuffled his way in, and was greeted only by an almost empty room, devoid of any life save for the blue minipet darting towards him at full throttle, and the other two mini's that always resided here. But Yin was not to be found, and Alex's heart plummeted. All that build up, for absolutely nothing. It figured, really. Yin never seemed to be around when Alex was actually looking for him. Slowly he let himself all the way into the room, clicking the door shut quietly behind him and bending down to pick up Fei, who was twining his way around Alex's ankles. The vaisel quickly scrambled out of Alexander's grasp to perch up on his shoulder, his favorite spot even though he'd pretty much outgrown it. The zomboil was used to this action, however, and reached up to scratch Fei behind the ears before he wandered over to the bed to sit down. He had no idea where Yin was or how long he might be, but if past experiences were any indicator, the best thing he could do at this point was to not freak out and go looking for him. Nope, he was going to wait right here. The weremantis would have to come back to his room eventually, because Princess Eva was here.

Logic. Alex used it on occasion.

Time had passed, and still Yin did not come back. The sky outside was beginning to darken as the pumpkin sun made it's slow descent in the sky, and Alexander checked his phone once again, an action he had made at least fifty times in the last hour. It was getting late. Late to the point that Yin should have been back by now, surely. As much as the zomboil tried not to, he couldn't help but begin to feel the beginning sensations of worry worming it's way into his cold, undead stomach.

Up until now he had passed the time by playing with Fei, and by trying to coax Princess Eva into letting him stroke her fur, while simultaneously trying to keep Lady Terror at a safe and manageable distance. He liked the other vaisel very much, but he still held some fear that she might accidentally burn him if he picked her up. He had also done a little bit of reading, until, of course, the sky outside had darkened to a point where reading had just become too difficult, and he had shut the book to set it down beside him on the bed.

When he had first arrived he had just been so eager to see Yin, though that eagerness had still been lightly tainted with memories of the doubts he had held for the last four days. Now it was all he could do to keep himself from pushing himself off of that bed and out the door in search of the boil. He just..he missed him so much! Their first reunion after their time apart had been ruined by things that Alex did not even want to think about right now, and then their second, swifter reunion was also not a memory he could truly treasure. But this, now, this was the time he had been waiting for. The time when they could just be alone, together, enjoying each others company in the privacy of Yin's room as they had done so many times in the past. He knew that there were probably things that they needed to talk about, but he'd be happy to set those things aside for just one night of being allowed to hold Yin in his arms again.

And just like that, just as he was buried deep in these burdening thoughts, the door was opened. It hadn't even occurred to the zomboil that he should have turned on the lights. His eyes had adjusted to the dimness in the room as gradually as the pumpkin sun had set. The light from the hallway illuminated the weremantis, so that this silhouette stood out starkly against it. Alex could practically make out every feature of his bonded, as though he were actually standing in a spotlight, and not just some dim, nearly empty bedroom, and it was perhaps the most beautiful sight the zomboil had ever seen. He had not expected to actually feel so emotional at the sight of him, as indeed the telltale sign of tears began to sting at the back of his eyes. That was probably the only thing that kept him sitting as Yin closed the door behind him and moved slowly into the room. He was trying so hard to just let his emotions pass and not break down on the spot like some stupid sissy little scareling ghoul. He didn't even realize that Yin might not actually see him, and since he had closed his eyes, breathing in and out slowly to calm himself down, he did not see that his appearance had actually startled Yin into thinking there was some kind of danger.

The sound of his name was what finally made him move. Without another moments hesitation, his eyes flew back open, he was pushing himself up from the bed and making his way to where Yin stood in his usual awkward, almost staggering gait. Whether or not Yin wanted it, once the zomboil was near enough, he was wrapping his arms around the other boil and pulling him into an embrace against his cool and lean body, before speaking in low and hushed tones "Yes, it's me. It's really me. I missed you Yǐn Cáng, so much." Yes, the full name. He obviously meant business.

Mmmmmmm, warmth.

It was odd how the zomboil had gone from despising heat to actually craving the warmth that Yin's body drawn up against his could provide. It wasn't something that had happened over night, but had been gradual, like just about everything in their somewhat odd relationship had been. He could feel Yin actually beginning to lean into the hug itself, his face getting very near to Alex's neck. At this point, though it sent an odd shiver down his spine, even if Yin had actually touched that sensitive area where his stitches pulled the skin together on Alex's neck, he would not have pulled away. Of course, it was a little odd that Yin was actually breathing in that deeply, as though he were actually taking in the zomboils scent, but who was he to complain? He was getting much needed cuddles, damnit!

As he felt Yin's arms cross around behind his back, pulled away from the weremantis finally, just enough so that he could smile down at him. He could easily lose himself in this almost perfect moment, and forget about all of those troubling thoughts, all of the bad memories that he wanted desperately to be able to just leave behind and not think about ever again.

"I'm doing much better now." He answered. "And even better again now that you're here." He didn't know really what else he could say. He didn't want to talk about the voices, didn't want to bring up anything that had happened on the Isles. He just wanted to be able to move past all of that.

"I--I am sorry that it took so long for me to be able to come and see you. I was planning on sending you a message soon, if things didn't...improve. But I think things are fine now." His smile shifted into something broader, though not quite his usual face splitting grin. He had a sudden urge to lift Yin up off the of the floor and carry him to the bed, though he waved the thought away dismissively. Why ruin such a nice moment with something so silly?

"And you? How have you been?" He knew that something had been troubling Yin lately, and though it was hard to tell in such dim light, it did seem as though the weremantis looked quite tired. Mind you, it was getting late.

Alex nodded along with Yin's words. Things had to be fine now, especially if Yin believed it could be so, and Alex believed it could be so. By their powers combined it would be so.

If only things were ever that easy...

Alexander knew he did have things he wanted to talk to Yin about, but for right now he decided it could just wait. Especially since it was so late. Maybe if Yin had come back to his room sooner there would have been more time for talking, but that had not been the case. For a tiny moment, Alex was at least tempted to ask Yin where he had been, but he kept his mouth firmly shut. If Yin wanted him to know, or if he thought it was important that Alex know, then he would say something about it.

"I knew you would take good care of him. He likes it here, with you." Alex liked it here with Yin as well, but he figured that was fairly obvious by now. Yin's yawn, while proving to Alex that the other boil was tired, also actually seemed to draw Alex's attention to the fact that he was feeling less then fully energized himself. He had, after all, spent the last three days restlessly pacing his room, refusing to allow himself any time to 'sleep', or whatever it was that zombies did in replacement of it. The nightmare that he had suffered through made his form of sleep far too risky to attempt again. Even now, thinking about lying down in bed and closing his eyes sent a shiver running down his spine. But the voices were gone now, so surely Alex could rest in peace?

With one last small smile, he released his hold on Yin completely, backing away to break Yin's hold on him as well. "Come on, you look like you need some sleep, and I could really use a rest myself." The zomboil said softly, nodding towards the bed. He didn't ask if he could spend the night, and he wasn't going to. He was staying, and he knew Yin wouldn't protest.

Alex did indeed know everything that Yin was rambling on about, but he listened with a warm smile for his bonded anyways, just relishing in the fact that he was here, with him once again, and able to listen to him talk about meaningless things.

He was actually somewhat relieved when Yin agreed that they could go to bed now, and he followed Yin towards the bed like a good little pet, climbing into the bed after him and lying down on his back, arms crossed over his ribs almost as though he were hugging himself as he stared up at the all too familiar ceiling in Yin's dorm room. As usual, he would probably wait for Yin to actually be asleep before moving in to cuddle against him or to wrap an arm around him. The bed beneath him was just so soft, and he was feeling so drained, both mentally and physically, that he was actually already almost zoned out completely when Yin spoke. His lips quirked into a small half smile even as his eyelids drooped closed. "Good night, Yǐn Cáng" but it seemed that the weremantis wasn't finished.

Did Alex require anything else? As tempting as the offer was...

"No thanks, I think I have everything that I need right here." He said, uncrossing his arms and reaching out to lay a hand lightly on Yin's shoulder, his smile widening and his own voice sounding oddly sleepy.

"Sleep well...."

Alex had, eventually, turned on to his side sometime during the night, though he refrained from actually throwing his arm across Yin as he had done several times before. He was pleased to note that along with the voices being gone, he had no trouble drifting off into a semi-state of unconsciousness, his mind clear and untroubled by any nightmares.

Unless he was trapped in another nightmare as he had been before.

But no, he had to believe that this was actually real. He had not let himself drift off after that time, and had kept himself up and walking around his room until the voices had gone away. This all had to be real. And if it wasn't...well, so far it was nothing like the nightmare he had had before. Yin was acting like his usual self, and not some too-happy cheap copy like the one that had been in his horrible dream.

Eventually, morning came, and instead of being alerted that Yin was awake by the weremantis getting up and moving out of bed like he usually did, it was just a hardly audible 'good morning' that summoned him back to wakefulness. "Good morning." He replied, a small smile appearing on his face as his eyes blinked a couple of times to show that he was fully conscious. Any moment now Yin was going to be on his way, out of bed, stretching, going about his morning routine. Except that he didn't move. Alex pushed himself up a little, a small frown creasing his forehead as he looked down at Yin with a worried expression.

"Are you...okay?" Silly. That was a stupid question. They had only gotten back a few days ago, and Alex had asked Yin to leave him alone for the last three days. The memories were still fresh, and a lot of it still hurt if he spent too much time thinking about it. And then there was whatever Yin was dealing with before any of that had happened.

"Did..did you want to talk about it?" Alex didn't want to. He just wanted to forget about it and move on. Some things were just better off left in the past and hopefully forgotten about. "Because...I mean, we can, if you want but..." Just say how you feel, just say it. "We don't have to?" Did he sound a little hopeful at that last part? Why yes, yes he did.

Apparently Alexander was completely over reacting, but could one really blame the boil after everything they'd just been through? Yin was moving though, and while it still just seemed odd that he would still be in bed (because why would that ever happen???), it was beginning to dawn on him slowly that perhaps Yin was absolutely fine, and he had just gone off on a rant about talking about things for absolutely no reason.

And now he just felt like an idiot.

Moaning inwardly at his own abrupt and obviously unnecessary prying, he collapsed back down to the bed and closed his eyes for a second, before blinking them back open and trying to regather his very jumbled and strewn about thoughts. Soon enough he was rolling back on to his side, and propping his head up in one hand, offering Yin a large smile when the weremantis replied that he had slept well. "That's good." He nodded, hoping he sounded more calm then he had a few moments before. This was nice, lying in bed together and chatting rather then immediately getting up and going about there day. He could get used to this.

To bad he didn't know he'd already ruined it. Stupid zombie.

"Yes." He answered Yin's question cheerfully. He caught that hint of worry in his boilfriend's voice, and he quickly pressed on in hopes of reassuring him. "I'm feeling much better now. I uh..didn't get much chance to rest these last couple days."

Urge to reach out and pull Yin into a cuddle was rising, yet somehow he managed to refrain.

And then the last question. That one made Alex's smile slip away, and he frowned a tiny bit, reaching up with his free hand to rub at his eyes before letting his arm flop back down in front of him. He did want to talk to Yin about something, but it really wasn't that important and could have probably waited... "Well, no, not really. I mean, there is something that's been on my mind recently that I wanted to talk to you about---" recently being since the idea had cropped into his head at some point between the voices stopping and being reunited with Yin, finally. "--But it really isn't anything too pressing."

Well, he'd already started now, he might as well continue, right?

"I had a lot of time to think yesterday, about...well, everything that's happened and it sort of struck me that I'm maybe...just a little too dependent on everyone? My family and, well, You?" He made that last part a question, because he wanted to see if Yin would agree, and he expected his bonded to be honest with him.

He was already a little worried that he might not be making any sense to Yin, who often took things he said the wrong way. The look on the weremantis's face made his heart drop, as he instantly knew that now he was going to have to explain, and how was he supposed to make Yin understand something that the mantodae might not believe to be true? Arguing with Yin was about as effective as trying to put out a fire with gasoline. Still, this really wasn't even that big of a deal, so he could probably get away with just being vague on the subject.

"Well, there's the money thing, for one. Now that my mom has stopped sending silver seeds, I've pretty much relied on you to feed me. After the trials, I flat out refused to leave your room and got upset when you left and didn't come back. I call my mom every single day, sometimes just so she can give me advice and tell me what to do, like I can't even think for myself. I miss my family to the point where sometimes..and more often now then before..I do think about how much easier it would be if I just went back. They could keep me safe, and you try to keep me safe, and I just...what do I do in return? I mooch off of everyone, I'm needy, and when I think the two things I care about most are going to be taken away from me, I feel like I have nothing left to go on not-living for." Was that clear enough? He hoped so.

And now an abrupt subject change, because this was Alexander and he knew if he just kept talking, Yin wouldn't interrupt. "Have you thought any more about what you're going to do this summer? If I were to go back home, I mean." Yes, he said if he went back home, not when he went back home. He wasn't sure if Yin would catch the difference, though.