The sisters stood and stared at one another silently for a moment, it was during on of Chanda's visits to see Berj that the girls stood there in awkward silence.
Chanda wondered if things had really come to this, her sister had a new life with friends and a pride, and Chanda couldn’t think of replacing the one they had lost, it hurt her heart beyond her deepest fathoms.
"Your looking well Chanda" Berj broke the silence, she knew her sister felt betrayed but she loved being part of a pride, and the shadow clan of Ela had welcomed her and she felt safe and at peace here, something she hadn’t felt in a very long time. "I’ve been worried about you." And that was the truth, Berj wasn’t sure if her sister could take care of herself, but seeing her so well made her worry lessen slightly.
"There is no need to worry about me Berj." Chanda finally said with a sigh, even though she missed her sister, she couldn’t hate her for finding happiness, even if it meant that they were now apart. "I’m happy to see you so content, you must have really found your place here." She motioned to the pride behind Berj with a paw. "That is something I am still searching for."
Chanda's over growing fear of males, kept her from them and kept her from the safety of a pride.
"I wish you would find something or someone to make you as happy as being here makes me." Berj said gently as she nuzzled her sisters shoulder, she was older of the twins and with that had come a heavy burden her sister had never been able to shoulder. The events of their life, had scared Chanda so deeply that it crippled her slightly.
"I'm not you Berj.." Chanda said with a huff, she shook her head as she stepped back from her sister. "I just cant slip into a normal life. I just cant." Her nightmares still plagued her sleep, and sometimes she simply didn’t sleep because she couldn’t fit the pieces together and now that Berj wasn’t there...It was simply hard.
As her sister stepped back, Berj shook her head and then took a deep breath. “No, Chanda your not me, and your not a little cub anymore. I cant always protect you, I want to enjoy my life.”
Chanda stared at her sister in disbelief, was she really saying this! Her world was crumbling around her, her ears drew back and she stepped backwards. “Berj, what are you saying..” Her voice grew taunt.
“Im saying that I love you Chan, but that its time for you to grow up..Yes, things were hard, and our life hasn’t been easy but its time to let go of the past and live for the future.” Berj took a step towards her sister, only to stopped as Chanda drew back and away.
“I cant forget what I don’t remember!” Chanda shot back, as tears filled her eyes. She couldn’t remember why they were running, or what had happened to their family and pride, she just knew she got these….images in her dreams that were full of blood and death and made her choke when she awoke and…She shuddered now thinking about it.
“That’s why it should be so easy for you.” Berj shot back, she had the memories, she remembered everything that had happened to them, and had been the one to comfort Chanda and shoulder everything, she was tired of that, tired of that life. She was happy here and loved being with her friends and hoped to start a family of her own one day.
“You just don’t understand Berj..” Chanda said as she drew away from her sister further, how could she be so cold now. Swallowing hard, Chanda shook her head. “I shouldn’t have come here, I wont come back..”
“Don’t say that..” Berj reached out with a paw, “I love you, and you’re my sister, you are the only family I have left…I don want to lose you too.” Berj could feel her throat tighten and her heart race with the fear of losing her sister as well. “You’ll find somewhere that makes you happy Chan, I know you will..With that beautiful heart of yours it will be easy!” She tried to take away the hurt her words had done, but she could see it on her sisters face that it had been to much.
“Maybe I will come back one day, your right about us being family. Nothing is going to change, that, no fight will ever do that..” She didn’t go near her sister again though, and her body was stiff and she flicked her tail behind her.
“But I think I wont be back for a while..I need to go out and find myself.” She said taking a deep breath. I love you too Berj, but I need to find the pieces.” She said with a solemn nod.
She needed to find out what happened, to find the memories she had lost.
“Just know Chanda, that I will be here when you return, that I will always be here for you. Regardless of what happens, you are my sister, you are important to me.” Berj padded towards her sister and nuzzled her affectionately. “And I regret nothing.”
Chanda was stiff with her sister at first, before she relaxed and nuzzled her in return. “And you are important to me as well..And good, I would hate to think I had ruined your life.” She said with a playful smile. “We both know I made it more fun.”
Berj stepped back and smiled, “Good luck Chanda, I wish you the best of luck on this path. Hopefully you will find the peace your looking for, and maybe someone to share your life with!” Berj grinned, “I wouldn’t mind being an aunt..”
Chanda rolled her eyes and shook her head with a snort, “Keep dreaming about that..” She had little interest in letting a male that close to her, they screamed danger to the lioness. "Goodbye Berj, may I return to at least a mate!" She said with a wink.
"Goodbye Chanda, may you come back.." She smiled at her sister as she watched the lioness walk away, and Berj returned to her pride.
