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 Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 1:06 pm
A mission full of heartache and a week home full of mixed signals. She really wasn't sure what was up with Marcus as of late and it was starting to bother her. It wasn't fair. She couldn't spend her evenings curled up with him like nothing was wrong after a day of him avoiding her like he had been - of him doubting her like he had been. Which meant she had to clear the air and figure out what the deal was.
Because while she wanted it to not bother her like it had been, even Candace had been noticing it (not to say she wasn't observant, but it was like in a moment the older trainee had noticed it) and Cass needed to get to the bottom of things before it started effecting her job performance. Which meant that when Cass had walked into the bunker, she'd gone in with one goal in mind - cornering Marcus and interrogating him. She even had a flashlight from her bag o' stuff.
So when she spotted the moon hunter, she didn't even give him a chance to flee from her: "Marcus." her voice was firm as she stared him down, lifting a finger and beckoning him to her with it. She probably looked eerily serious.
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Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 1:50 pm
A week he'd been an idiot. A week he'd been depressed, angry and outright hurtful. Dis had tried to help him, (for once), but nothing had pulled him from that funk. Now a week after the mission and he was regretting his actions. He'd be cruel to Cass most of all. That was what was eating him the most.
Sitting on a cot he'd been engrossed in his thoughts as a sharp call of his name drew his attention. Cass. Wincing as she motioned him to go to her, he obediently got up and went to her side.
"Yeah Cassandra?" He mentally slapped his head as he called her by her full name. He was such an idiot.
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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
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Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 1:57 pm
She seemed to flinch a bit at the formality of his greeting, the corners of her lips tightening just a bit. However, it didn't stop her from linking her arm with his to herd him over to a secluded corner of the room. Once there, she paused and turned on him, putting her hands on her hips and giving him a rather sad look.
"So," her voice was heavy, worried. "You've had me wondering on and off for the last week and I'm just going to flat out ask so I can stop worrying about it - are you thinking of breaking up with me?"
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Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 2:17 pm
Being herded to what Marcus assumed would be a secluded area had him tense briefly. As they went to the corner he relaxed. It felt like he was in trouble. Shuffling next to her, he couldn't hold himself back from having his hand seek out her own, trying to touch her, hold some part of her.
The question drew a visible flinch. "Honestly...yes. I thought about it. But wait please." He gripped her wrist. He didn't want her to turn from him. "I was an idiot. An emotional idiot and- I love you. That has never changed Cass. I swear to god it has never changed."
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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
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Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 2:26 pm
His answer had an immediate response and if he hadn't grabbed onto her she would have turned away from him. However, she did look down for a moment, making the smallest sound - a sob. That hadn't been what she'd wanted him to say. Her heart sunk into her stomach before he spoke to clarify his answer - or rather, to confuse her further.
"Then you don't trust me." she replied, a tear sliding down her cheek. "You don't believe in me and that's why......" she made a small choking noise before beginning to cry.
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Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 2:42 pm
That tiny sound, the faint sob, broke his heart. He didn't want her to cry, to get upset over him. Marcus loved Cass, and in his misguided judgment he'd ******** up yet again. "Cass no. Please don't cry. Please, I do trust you. I love you Cass. Please don't cry." Reaching up to cup her face in his hands he tried to find the right things to say.
"I do believe in you. I think you're one of the best hunters here. You're smart, kind, loving, forgiving, loyal- You're the woman I feel in love with." A small crack broke through. "And I'm stupid, because I don't think I'm worth you. I love you, and I want you to be happy but... Cass, I'm not good enough for you. That's been what's running around in my head this last week. Dis and Dakota even, they say I'm stupid but I just can't Cass. I want you be with someone you deserve."
Pain laced his words. "Even if that person isn't me."
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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
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Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 2:57 pm
"No. You don't." she answered. "You don't trust my judgment. You don't trust that maybe, just maybe this 'smart' woman can see something you don't." the pain in his voice wasn't doing anything for that small inflection of pain that was pulling at her chest. Raw and unyielding to what he was trying to convince her of.
Because she knew he was wrong.
"I love you. Nothing you've ever done has ever made me feel like you don't deserve that. Ever." she was still crying as she spoke, trying to swallow them back to some extent, but unable to. "So don't make the decision of your 'worthiness' of my feelings, that's my choice to make."
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Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 3:18 pm
This was why she deserved better. He was making her cry and he'd ******** up everything. Hand trembling, her pulled her into his body,trying to choke back the pain he felt. "I'm terrified Cass. People don't... I'm not worth your love. And I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. I'm an idiot and I fallen in love with you."
He tried to kiss her forehead, her face. "I'm so scared that this isn't real, even when I know it is. I'm scared because I've never had this before and I want to do everything I can to make you happy and I don't know if I can do that. I don't know if I can make you happy."
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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
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Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 3:30 pm
They were probably a bit of a spectacle over in their corner of drama, but Cass really had run out of the number of ******** she gave about opinions on things that were irrelevant to her a long time ago. Yet even as he pulled her close, she didn't fight against it, leaning into him and half burying her face against his shoulder.
His little flurry of kisses was countered with her own as she pressed her lips back against his softly. "Stupid." she whispered, wiping her eyes, "You're so stupid. Why do you think you're making me cry?" It took a minute to stifle her crying enough to speak with just a small shake to her voice. "Do you think I have had this before? Because I sure as hell haven't. You're the first, Marcus."
She frowned at him. "I want you to be my only, because you make me happy. You're my hero, remember?"
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Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 4:15 pm
********? What ********? As far as Marcus was considered the world could wither up and die, so long as he had Cass. That was what mattered to him. "I know. I'm an idiot. A stupid, stupid idiot and-" reaching up he brushed a few tears from her cheeks. "I am an idiot and I made you because I'm ******** retarded."
Pulling her further into the corner, he rested his head on her's, trying to slow his heart. "I want you so badly Cass. I want you to be happy and I don't think I can do that and it scares me. I want to be your hero and ******** my emotions Cass." A small sniffle. "I want that so bad. I want to stop your tears and see you smile but I'm not sure how to do that because all I ever do is love you. I love you so much it scares me. I don't want to leave you. I want to be by your side every day. Feel your fingers in mine. Hear your voice when I go to bed and then greeting me in the morning. I promised my forever and I meant it. I just... I don't know Cass. I don't know if I can do all the things for you."
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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
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Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 4:33 pm
Cass sighed, closing her eyes and just listening to him for a minute. Listening as he poured out his worries to her - inadequacy, inability. Love. So much love. It was almost overwhelming - almost. She leaned against him, wrapping her arms around his torso and sighing again.
"Shhhhhhhhhhh..... Marcus. You make me happy. You've always made me happy, idiot. I love you. I've given more of myself to you than I've given to any other person, and I don't regret that. I don't think I'll ever regret that. Like you promised me your forever, I promised you mine as well.
I refuse to let you leave me. Who else will give me security? Safety? Be there to cradle me in their arms when I wake from my nightmares? There's a lot you do for me that you don't even realize you do. Maybe I could do them on my own, but.... you've taken that burden off of me by being here and suffering through this last year with me.
I love you, and the only thing I want to ever change between us is my last name."
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Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 5:03 pm
He held her and slowly, he felt those last lingering fears melt away. "I'll give you everything." The kisses started with her hand. One on each finger, then her knuckles, tracing his way to her neck. "Love. Hope. Protection. Safety. Security. Hopes. Dreams. A kiss. A hand. My heart. My soul. My everything. And-"
Pulling back he took a breath, trying to compose himself. "Are you sure you want that? I mean... we can't... start a family. Have normal lives but- I want it Cass. I want it bad. I want it but I mean we're not even in our twenties yet."
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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
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Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 5:13 pm
The kisses sent her heart aflutter, even as she continued to lean against him, a smile spreading out across her face as he spoke. He had a magic way with words that touched her in special ways. Promises, whispers of love - all of them were meant for her. She drank them up hungrily. He was giving her everything she wanted - and to some extent already had from him.
But he held onto one doubt despite it all.
"I know I want that. I know we can't have children together, I know our lives are going to be nothing but craziness until the end from this point on. But in this last year I have lived more than I did in the sixteen that came before it. We're young, but we both know that with this crazy life we live this might be all we get."
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Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 5:49 pm
She wanted him. He still didn't believe it. He did but the same time, he didn't. She loved him and wanted him and he never thought it would happen. A year and they were wanting that ultimate step. That thing that he'd watched fail in his own childhood he now wanted as an adult.
Smiling, he pressed himself against her, pulling her into a kiss. A desperate, heated kiss. "Give me a bit and I'll do it right. On my knees, begging if I have to."
A smile as he kissed her again. "I'll top it with a ring too."
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iStoleYurVamps
iStoleYurVamps
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Posted: Tue May 01, 2012 6:05 pm
That smile of his put every worry she had to rest, her hand snaking up to the back of his neck as he kissed her to kiss him back. It was a real kiss, not one of those kisses that almost felt like they were hiding something. It was like breaking a fast from that last lingering kiss out in the desert.
"Okay." she relented with a smile of her own. "But you won't have to beg, I promise." she laughed, leaning into the second kiss just a bit.
"I love you, Marcus."
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