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Jordan picked his phone up off the table for the third time in five minutes; once again, he opened a new text message and tapped out a sentence. Then he put the phone down and contemplated getting a fresh cup of coffee. Why was he so nervous? No, he knew why he was nervous. There was so much potential to mess this up, so much still not settled, so much he just didn't know.

Calm yourself, Ferros advised.

Trying. Did Harrison and Rep even want the same thing? Maybe he was winding himself up over - "Stop that," he muttered to himself. In the general mid-level noise of the canteen, the statement went unnoticed. The noise was half the reason he'd chosen this location. The other half of the reason was coffee, because if they were going to talk about this then he was going to have a goddamn cup of coffee to calm his nerves, even if it was crappy coffee.

He picked the phone up again and pressed the Send button before he could chicken out again. Then he went to get that cup of coffee, and take a few deep breaths.

Rep's associations with the words "talk about us" had been horrible for most of his life. Generally the conversation went somewhere along the lines of him not being what people expected in some negative way. Sometimes it involved ultimatums. His gut twisted like it'd been grabbed, the insanity's uncertainty having a field day once again. What if people had changed their minds? What if they decided it was a mistake? Could he even keep it together in the middle of the cafeteria?

Well he'd just ******** have to. He'd have to man up and deal with it.




Whatever happened it was better than pacing like a caged animal, a habit Rep had embarrassingly taken up in the barracks, it kept people out of his space and vented just a fraction of that built up energy he'd been gathering when not out hitting s**t as hard as he possibly could. It didn't take long for him to reach his destination and he stalked into the cafeteria with his usual appearance of defiance, practically bristling with ******** vibes. Not that people as a rule ever went out of their way to speak to him in the first place.

He spotted Jordan and Harrison almost right away, and was hit by the usual knotted up combination of anxiety and desire. A drink wasn't even on his mental map and instead he made his way over, immediately presented with the problem of "which seat do I take?" he didn't want to look as if he was siding with anyone's ******** side of the table.

This was too political. He needed to stop overthinking s**t.

So he sat next to Jordan. There was less chance of him attempting to pin the other sun if things went untoward places again. Jordan being disapproving had an effect, Harrison being disapproving was more of a challenge than something he took entirely seriously.

"Sup ya bams?" he smirked lazily, contriving to look more relaxed than he felt.

"Alright, uh, I think I can agree on that one, anyhow. Apocalypse averted. And we're all here...and I like- both you guys and everything. And if- you know," Harrison shifted his attention nervously to Jordan, "it had been just us two, when we got back I would have asked if you...wanted to go out. But I guess I don't know what we're doing now..."

Harrison tested his mug, but it was too hot, and he put it down again.

"What are we doing now?"

"I'd sort of figured that. Hoped, anyway," Jordan said, giving Harrison a small smile. "I mean - I guess kissing you out on the field was pretty much saying that I was okay with people figuring we were a thing. I didn't expect - well, I didn't expect to feel like I'd just been hit with a breakup when I didn't even know I was dating someone, when I found out what you were upset about," he explained, looking to Rep.

He propped his elbows on the table and leaned on them, looking for words to put to the shape of what he felt. This was new territory, something he hadn't previously heard much about. He had no idea what he was doing, and that was more than a little frightening. And it was, apparently, up to him to state aloud what he hoped they were all thinking.

Ferros rumbled quietly, but said nothing. Jordan exchanged a wordless thought with the weapon, soothed by the quiet presence that was always with him.

"I'm okay with having two boyfriends if you guys are." There, he'd gotten it out and onto the table.

Rep was still inwardly at war with himself. Even hearing the word boyfriend made him have to suppress an inward flinch and a desire on some level to make fun of the word. Instinctual reactions. He still struggled to take the word boyfriend and all its associations and apply it to /him./ Both of them made it sound so easy and simple, and he wanted it, he really did.

But he also wanted them to say it really quietly. Already worried someone might have overheard.

"I.." he looked around furtively and nodded "..aye." his heart was racing a hundred miles a minute and he felt like he was possibly going to pass out. How could they look so calm?

The relief, the utter relief at Jordan's comment was hard to convey. He'd had no idea how he was supposed to explain to them that yes, he wanted this boyfriend thing. But no, he didn't want it shared with people who could make it unpleasant for him the way he'd no doubt made things unpleasant for others in the past. He hadn't been able to put it in any way that he thought wouldn't offend them both, maybe make them think he was ashamed of them rather than himself.

But nope. Jordan understood.

And it meant so much that he did. He could only nod and finally relax into that honest smile the anxiety had been strangling.

"Ta."

"Yeah, whenever. But for now, keeping it on the DL. I can handle that. As long as you two can manage cutting the soppy looks and not making any kissy faces."

Harrison smirked at them, but he was playing with the mug handle nervously.

"Actually I uh, to be honest, I mean I don't care what most of those dickheads think but...I'd been a little worried about Clarice. Finding out. You know how it is with Davey, all the handicap jokes and s**t."

"Good point," Jordan agreed. "She had a handicapped parking spot set up for Davey, I heard. I'm just - yeah. Not really into being teased for months. I think I can keep myself under control in public." He smirked lazily.

He took a sip of his coffee, made a face as he remembered suddenly that the coffee was terrible, then looked up again, catching Rep's and Harrison's eyes in turn. "All okay?" he asked quietly.