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 Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 2:04 pm
 When the party had finally died down, Glyph had coaxed Xun out into the woods nearest the Pantheon. It was more like an orchard then a wood, however, but it was private and the sweet smell of the fruit bearing trees around them was pleasantly soothing.
Sinking down into the grass beneath an ancient apple tree, twisted from Gehenna but still standing strong and proud, Forest smiled up at Lifewater. "Did you enjoy yourself? I was hoping we might talk..."
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Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 2:39 pm
 It was pretty late when the party had finally wound down, first the mortals had left, followed by the weaker gods. Xun Jiang still felt rather well - his host had been nocturnal, after all, and he saw no need to sleep right at the moment.
He allowed Glyph to whisk him away once everyone had left, through he knew very well exactly what they would be talking about.
"It was amazing." He smiled, and leaned against his lover, hand going to hold the pendant that still rested on his chest. "Thank you..."
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Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 3:31 pm
"You're welcome. Sit?" Glyph patted the grass beside him hopefully, "You scared me, you know...? Does my going to collect one of our own that terrifying? We can't all be cooped up here all the time... And for those of us whose hosts fail... someone has to care, don't you think?"
He smiled, "I rather think if I suddenly disappeared or became a rock again, someone might miss me."
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Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 4:04 pm
Xun Jiang did sit, and rested his head against his knees.
"I know, I..." The words seemed to get lost, however, and Glyph continued. Each playful 'reproach' made his ears tilt back a little more. It was not that, that was not the problem...
The last one was too much. "Do not say things like that !" He said, a little more roughly than he intended, a bit of panic in his tone. The simple idea that Glyph might fail... was too much. He would sooner fade again before he allowed Glyph to do the same.
"You will not... I will not..." He sighed, frustrated, and ran an hand through his mane. "There is nothing wrong with you going for her. I am glad someone knew, that someone figured out... and I hope she will be well enough to... start again." Two failures...
"...I was not aware the non-dragon hosts could fail." He finally admitted. "It took me by surprise. I..."
He rested his face against his knees proper, unable to meet his lover's gaze any longer. "...I failed, Glyph.... I failed. Illisia... was my second host. It brought me back to that time." Shadows memories of dread and panic, no images or voices to fill them in.
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Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 4:41 pm
Glyph blinked at the outburst, the soft expression hardening into a frown for a moment before he realized that the fear had coiled in Xun's voice once again. "I won't know her condition until I retrieve her..." He trailed off as the other admitted to failing and inhaled deeply, the tension that had gathered in his shoulders flowing away.
He'd half expected a fight but to learn that Xun had failed... that it affected him so, well it was a relief, really, that it was something that could be faced together rather then butting heads. Shuffling a bit, he embraced Xun again, his mana flaring to suffuse the near area with his influence, the grass growing in the moonlight that faded in and out as rainclouds gathered in the cool evening air.
"You might have failed the first time... but look, you're here now, in my arms, safe. Yes? You can't deny that now, can you." He tucked his chin into the nook between shoulder and neck as he hugged Xun from behind, speaking mostly into the night elf's ear, "You're here, now, alive and... mostly whole. We can all fail... if the host isn't right, we fail. You're not alone."
He grew much more serious as he squeezed Xun, closing his eyes, "We all have our dark secrets tucked in the shadows."
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Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 6:18 pm
Again, the contact, the feel of his mana, helped. Hurried, panicked breaths settled into something a little more normal.
"It should not be this way." He sighed, forlorn. Why did they settle on the wrong hosts ? He wished he knew, wished he knew why he had felt the first girl was the right one, when in reality it had not been the case.
And not just him. Jin. Xia Lu. Shuo. And now Forge, with no name or face to pin to her existence, onto that list. Of course and thankfully, there were many more who had actually succeeded, many more who thrived, full of the life they had once lost.
"...Only my brothers knew." Before here, before now. And it was clear that he hoped it would stay there. Perhaps.... Perhaps Forge would also know, if she could recover. If it aided her. Only if she could feel strength in knowing someone else would understand. He hoped she would not need it, for reason that were both selfish and selfless. "Only Tian Yue even saw the first host. I do not remember her name, her face.... I am a lifegiver, and yet I took her's, and for what result ?" Nothing, nothing at all.
Illisia was different. Illisia was still alive, and much of his panic and his dread had been hers. He supposed her strange silences, her deep thoughts, the things she had never spoken of, might make more sense to Glyph now.
"I will be fine, I know it now. But... Failing like this... It erases a part of you that you will probably never get back. I could not even remember my own scales at first, Glyph. I do not want to know... What two would do to someone." He shuddered. He had never asked Xia Lu Ling about it for that very reason.
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Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2012 11:07 pm
"It completes a circle. We depend on the mortals as they depend on us. We are immortal and immense, yes, but if nothing else Gehenna has taught me that we are not invincible. The gems are our seeds, our restored selves the mighty oaks but like those oaks even the greatest of us can be felled." He smiled, kissed Xun's neck in an effort to comfort, "As far as I am concerned, it gives us reason to live among the mortals, ensure the safety and bestow miracles upon our followers for their belief is our strength. There's poetry there..."
He was murmuring, more aware of the thrum of life and death around them and the place each held in the grand cycle of existence. Every moment parts of him died and parts of him were reborn, it was the nature of a forest - forever in flux, balanced between the two like an emerald gem.
"Her gem yet exists, and I take that to mean there is still enough of her essence to rekindle a spark. The road is longer, perhaps, because of it but it is still there. Your first failure... it made you more aware of the mortals, did it not? Perhaps that was a lesson you needed, the spark from the first you required? All of our hosts possess something critical, precious, after all." Glyph turned his head to rest his cheek on Xun's shoulder and smiled, as he met the other's pure blue gaze and attempted not to lose himself in the depths, "Malh'reth taught me the value of independence, of contact and respect of mortals. He... he called me parasite when we first joined, rejected me in mind if not spirit. It taught me a great deal about choice and cooperation. I do not remember what I was like before the Fading but I feel as though Mal softened me and gave me better perspective."
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Posted: Mon Apr 02, 2012 2:57 pm
That was true... If there was a gem, and it was still whole... There might still be a chance. Maybe Lindita and Aysu may be able to tell Glyph more, should he need to know. They had been the one to find him.
He was not sure he wished to know more, however. What he did know was chilling enough.
"It is something that Illisia has taught me." He nodded. The want to care and nuture life... the will to take that life, if there was truly other way. "It is just... hard to accept, for me. But I figure I do not have any other option but to accept it, don't I ?"
Still, he wished there had been another way. The price seemed too high, too harsh.
"I do care about the mortals." He leaned into his lover's embrace, comfortable in his arms. "I do not know if I did before... But I do, now." In fact, he quite wanted to have Glyph meet Neith... But there were certainly more pressing matters right now.
And really, the way Glyph spoke of his first steps with his host only made him all the more grateful for Illisia. For all that she had been terrified once they had both learned of what had once been... She had be very accepting of him. "I think... Illisia taught me determination." He mused. "Among other things." That was teasing, really, and he moved forward to plant a kiss on Glyph's lips.
Through... Apparently Glyph would not get away as scott-free as he thought. "Actually... I would like to go with you." He knew how Forest felt about it... But he had no intention to stay here and be coddled, to be treated like glass that might shatter at any instant. "You are going to a desert. You may very well need me. And... I may be able to aid her." Life to rekindle what she had lost, perhaps. Hopefully she would not need such a thing, but...
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Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 3:12 pm
Glyph smiled sadly, shaking his head, "Another way... I still think that. I... when I grew strong enough, Malh'reth fell into me. It... it was so sudden - neither of us was expecting it to happen like that. We both felt Mal getting weaker, his conjuring harder and harder until I could take control without really even thinking about it." He looked up, confessing his own troubles to Xun, "I caught him, I consumed him out of reflex, Xun. I wonder sometimes if there had been another way, would I have taken it? I... don't know. The thought of Fading again terrifies me." He fell silent then, thinking as the other continued, tilted his head to receive the kiss out of reflex, the flicker of a smile playing across them.
Distracted as he was by his thoughts, however, Forest didn't immediately catch Lifewater's words, "Mnn.... Wait what? Xun! I was not inviting you along." Glyph's brows drew down into an expression somewhere between frustration and protection, "I am able to return to the Pantheon in the blink of an eye because of my Star. My Star also protects me... and I am strong enough now to fend for myself, desert or not. You, on the other hand, are a Dragon King, yes, but still young... still mortal and frail. I don't want to risk your safety if anything goes wrong - we need the Dragon Kings, every one."
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Posted: Wed Apr 04, 2012 9:04 pm
Xun Jiang listened, captivated by how Glyph described it. It was similar, and yet at the same time it was very different than what he and Illisia had done. It was fascinating to listen to, through he was not sure how to quieten his lover's worries.
"I do not think that what I have done is for everyone..." He admitted. "We might know best, and subconsciously do what we know we must do, when that time comes." He was not even sure how to explain the reasons that had made him take the path he had, and some of these reasons... Well, he was uncomfortable talking about it, even with Glyph. So he simply left it at that.
The way that Ti Lung's jaw set upon Forest's refusal was... well, it was downright Illisia, through the angry tirade that would have followed it was more or less absent, even if the dragon king did move to stand, stopping after a few steps to overlook the starry sky over his head. He stared at those stars that he saw through a tangle of tree branches, the stars he had once cradled into his claws in their base forms.
"Oh, yes, of course. How silly of me." He could not help some of the annoyance in his voice. That had been insulting - not only to him, but to Illisia, who had faced death in all shapes and sizes and yet always came out on top. Thankfully, the blaze of Illisia's fury was mostly tamed down by Xun Jiang's extended patience. That... had also been one of the reason he had not talked about the whole failed rebirth before, through thankfully Forest's worry did not seem to be fueled by that fact. The Dragon King was not certain he could have contained his anger, otherwise.
"I should stay here... A freshly hatched wyrmling in a nest, huddled up and safe at all sides. That must be how Tian Yue became great again ? How he helped make this again, I figure ?" He reached one hand toward the sky, as if he could have felt glass tumble against his claws should he only reach far enough.
"That must be how Zhijian overcame mortality and frailness ? And how you did the same ?" It was not, and that was precisely his point. He sighed, softly, and turned his gaze back to his lover once he knew that most of the fire and harshness had left his eyes. "Glyph... I understand. I really do understand. I cannot blame you for wanting to protect me, for wanting to keep me safe." He could not, because would he not wish to do the same should the roles be reversed ? Of course he would. But this was something Illisia had taught him - there was a point when one had to stand up for what one knew was best, and not for what they wanted.
"But if I stay here ? If I stay 'safe ?'" The safety aspect was debatable - after all, hadn't Harmodius been right here, at the pantheon, when Destruction was struck down ? "Then I will be a weak. Strong by mortal standards, but weak to anyone else. And I will never be anything else. If I huddle close to my Master and fear every shadow I see, then I will never be anything but mortal and frail again, a wyrmling hiding in the shadows of his bigger, stronger brothers."
"This is not what I want to be. I would rather be something worthy of the name Ti Lung. I would rather be a god worthy of being called a Dragon King." His gaze remained locked in Glyph's eyes, unmoving. "I would rather be someone worthy of being called your lover than some weak excuse for a dragon that is meant to be protected and coddled. I want to be someone you can trust to protect himself rather than have you feel like you always need to be on the lookout for me... Because that view is unfair to the both of us."
"Even if I do not go with you, if I stay here now... I will have to go and leave the pantheon, eventually. You cannot ask me to stay here all the time." Else would he not fade again, forgotten ?
He fell silent then, and hoped that his lover would understand - because he was uncertain how he could explain it, otherwise.
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Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 6:20 pm
Glyph could tell from the set of that jaw that he was in trouble. Very much in trouble - that expression had been reserved for either when he stuck his foot in his mouth or when he worked himself into exhaustion. Both of which quite potentially applied here and he tensed for the retort.
He shook his head, opened his mouth and worked his jaw, the rustle of leaves a murmur of confusing sounds that echoed the conflict that currently tied up his tongue. Eventually, Forest swallowed and looked past Xun to the grounds beyond for a moment, gathering himself. He couldn't blame Xun and couldn't negate anything the Dragon King said because he had spoken truly... but it still...
"How do I say this... I understand, Xun, really I do, but I worry about you as well. If something goes wrong, we will be so far outside my domain I cannot help. As strong as I am, I am also young yet... and I am a child of Creation, not Destruction. I bring bounty to the land and somehow, unless we deal with others of our kin or the mortals, withdrawing my influence likely won't be much of a bargaining chip." Forest sighed and returned his gaze to Xun, "I simply wouldn't want to fail you or see you hurt on my behalf - you are mortal yet, remember that. I've nearly died a handful of times now, either being chased by hellhounds, demons, or Satyrs or anything else and it is in those moments I remember very clearly what a mistake on my part would cost All That Is. That is less of a problem now that I've stepped from my mortal coil but the point remains."
He fell silent a moment then puffed, eyeing the other for a long while before he finally spoke and shook his head, "I can't tell you not to go, and I can't tell you never to leave - such would be foolhardy - but I can not be one hundred percent glad you're coming along."
He quirked his brow, "That is, come if you insist, but that doesn't mean I have to happy about it."
Forest could only hope he wasn't as far in the proverbial dog house as he feared, choosing to test his hopes by leaning forward to steal a kiss.
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Posted: Wed Apr 11, 2012 6:56 pm
He was glad that Glyph did see his point, and that calmed the dragon king slightly. He had to admit his lover's fears were also very valid... As much as the fact that they were valid did irk him.
If he had not failed, then... He could have been so much more, couldn't he ? And yet, he felt as if he would have been much less... If only because half of his current self would not be there.
"I have no plan of dying, Glyph." His hand reached to touch Forest's cheek, hoping to calm him down. Really, it was hard to stay mad when he was looking at him like that, when he knew that it was simply because his lover was worried about him. "I have done that twice now. I think that is enough of a track record."
He had a choice comment about not going out of his way to go poke demons, hellhounds, and satyrs, unlike someone else... But that was probably better kept to himself.
"I just need you to believe in me... Alright ? Do not treat me like a china doll. Not like glass. That will do me no good at all. I am... new in many ways, but I am also very old." Perhaps he should have told Glyph some of the things Illisia had done, what kind of demons she had faced head on... But he feared that might only serve to frighten his lover.
Xun Jiang leaned in for the kiss, through he had pondered teasingly leaning away as he might have usually done. But right now it was more important to send a clear signal, really.
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Posted: Thu Apr 12, 2012 2:44 pm
"I do believe in you." Glyph replied, a little tersely. That wasn't what was at issue here. "Just don't make a martyr of yourself alright?" He knew Xun and Illisia both had a warrior's heart... knew it would do little good to rail against it but knew too, that it was a dangerous road to encourage the brashness too much.
The kiss returned, Glyph relaxed some and the tension that had gathered in his shoulders eased - a feeling that was echoed in the trees about them as if they too, had tensed and with the release their branches sighed as they drooped to normal angles once more.
"While we're on the topic of inner workings..." Glyph murmured quietly, "Are there any other things you wish to tell me?"
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Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2012 4:12 pm
Who said anything about making a martyr out of himself ? Really, silly, silly Forest, through not it seemed Xun Jiang had other things on his mind that arguing. Like getting more of this kisses. High priority, really. "I will do my best... But you might have to remind me." Glyph knew full well how passionate he could be, after all, so who else could be better to set him back in line ?
He was drawing closer to steal another kiss, expression impish, before Glyph spoke again and he stilled in mid-movement, expression turning pensive. Was there anything else ? No, he had more or less said everything, had he not ? "Not that I can think of at the moment..." He figured a lot of the things he did - the pensive looks, the deep thoughts, made more sense now that Forest knew.
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Posted: Sun Apr 15, 2012 4:58 pm
"I will certainly remind you!" He chuckled, touching his nose to Xun's, "Don't you worry about that."
Amethyst eyes remained on the dragon's as he paused, brows drawing down slightly as the ambience of the moment slipped away. Glyph could tell what was on the other's mind, it was easier to tell then when he was brooding... but now Forest understood things a lot more. "Alright. Just talk in the future, hn? I'm not so easy to get rid of."
With a grin, he tilted his head as if to kiss the other then made a sort of leap forward to catch the dragon in his arms and rolled them over into the grass with a laugh, "See?"
He liked this view, looking up at Xun, and winked as he brought his hands up to pillow his head. He opened his mouth to speak further on the matter of the trip and caught himself, letting it go - they could speak of business later. Reaching up with one hand, he brushed the hair from Xun's eyes and smiled, "You're beautiful."
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