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Nyx Queen of Darkness Crew
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 Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 9:47 pm
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Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 9:52 pm
At first, Lucian had been afraid of what his children would be like. What kind of father was he to bring others into the world cursed like him? He had struggled, still struggled to be something less than a monster--like Karloff had taught him. Now he had bequeathed the same thing upon his children.
They were born, perfect and healthy--a girl and a boy. Rinikini and Raphael. But it was the boy who concerned him more. Delicate closed eyes like Karloff said his mother had--the one he'd heard that was filled with such rage that she would not raise him. But it was the talking that terrified him.
Raphael had taken to talking to someone who wasn't there--someone he carried on long conversations with. What was he supposed to do? He'd had his own dark passenger for years. He'd never been able to silence it, only learn to deal with it. How could he help his son when he didn't know how to help himself.
His son wasn't that old when his craving for blood started.
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Nyx Queen of Darkness Crew
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Nyx Queen of Darkness Crew
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Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 10:18 pm
Raphael was intrigued to be getting to go off with his father alone, but rather sad that Rini wasn't getting to come too. But his father had explained he wanted to have a boy with him. He wasn't entirely sure what THAT meant, but it sounded kind of important.
His friend thought it was important to.
I woudln't be too concerned.
"Why?" Raphael whispered back so quietly.
Don't talk out loud. Others can hear you then. I can hear what you think, Raphael.
That was news to him, Really?
Of rourse, I'm in side of your head so of course, I can hear there too. He paused gently. I think he wants to talk about me.
He knows about you?
Of course, you've been talking to me. He knows I'm here.
Will you get in trouble?
He might not like it. I can always go if you want.
But I don't want you to. I like having you here.
I only want what's best for you.
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Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 10:36 pm
Lucian made a sign for Raphael to stop before he proceeded on. Bounding forward through the undergrowth, he quickly slashed down with his knife and killed the creature--a small fox.
Stowing his knife away, he brought it back to Raphael. "I thought we could both do with a snack." Gently, he pierced the hide so that Raphael could drink.
He didn't want to scare his son, but he wanted to know what was going on. He wanted to know if his son too had a dark passenger. He had hoped that he'd be fine like his mother--untainted by his less than savoury traits. But what was that saying? Bad blood will out?
That was it.
He approached the subject cautiously. "When I was little...I wasn't alone in my basket." He paused for a minute, letting it sink in. "I had two friends in there. Sometimes they come back uninvited. They don't want to leave. They're in my head. They talk to me, whisper bad things Raphael. Is there something you want to tell me? Are the voices bothering you too?" He looked at his son with concern.
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Nyx Queen of Darkness Crew
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Nyx Queen of Darkness Crew
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Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2012 10:50 pm
Raphael was taken back by his father's admission. He buried his face into the throat of the animal and sucked at the succulent blood.
He's just like me.
Not exactly. Those were bad voices.
You're not bad.
Do I ever make you do anything you don't want to?
No, you're my friend.
They were never his friends. All you have to do is tell me to leave and I will.
But I don't want you to leave me. You're nice, you're my friend.
I'll stay as long as you like.
He licked his lips gently, "He's not like that. He's nice...He's friendly. It's like...my conscience. He'd never hurt me."
I love you.
"He loves me." He didn't know what his father would think, but it was true his friend had never been mean--or even horrible. He was always kind, almost like another father to him. He didn't want to make him go away...he was family.
"He won't hurt me. He'd never hurt me. He's my best friend. He's...real to me."
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Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2012 5:35 pm
So it was true then. His son had a dark passenger, someone inside of his head telling him what he should or shouldn't do. For a moment, the anxiety of it overwhelmed him. What had he done, giving this burden to his son?
But as he listened to Raphael, he heard his son explain that it wasn't unkind--the voice never asked anything of him at all, it was merely there when he needed it. It wasn't the same as Than and Lux then?
"Does he have a name? And are you sure he's not making you do anything you don't want?" He prodded his son gently, eager and afraid to know more.
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Nyx Queen of Darkness Crew
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Nyx Queen of Darkness Crew
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Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2012 5:41 pm
Raphael could hear something in his father's voice. He'd never heard it before--not the sound of fear coming from his father. It seemed strange, almost wrong. He'd never thought his father was afraid of anything.
"Are you scared daddy?" He asked, opening his eyes bigger and squinting at his father in the dying light. What was his daddy scared of? Was he scared of his friend?
He paused, and thought for a moment. "He..He's just my friend. He says I can call him whatever I want, so I just call him friend. He'll leave if I ask him to, he'll go away and never come back. But I don't want him to. He's nice and he only ever tells me to watch out for a hole in the ground or to think about consequences or that he knows your proud of me. He's just my friend, daddy. I don't have to make him leave do I?" His voice broke
Don't leave me.
Not unless you ask me to. And I'll come back whenever you call.
Never leave me. I don't want you to ever.
You may not always need me Raphael.
No, I'll always need you, Friend.
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Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2012 9:39 pm
Lucian could see the tears in his son's eyes. He was upset. "No..." He paused, "I suppose not. If he's really okay, and you'll tell me if he's not. I just...don't want you to have the same problems I did...sometimes still have. Do you understand Raphael?"
He paused, "I'm scared for you Raphael, because I love you. Because I love you a whole lot. And I'm your dad, I'm meant to worry about you. So he can stay for now, okay? But you have to tell me. You have to be really careful. It's okay to be scared, it's how you react to it."
He nosed the carcass to his son, "And I'll teach you how to hunt and do better. Is your sister okay? Does she hear...anyone?"
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Nyx Queen of Darkness Crew
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Nyx Queen of Darkness Crew
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Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2012 10:25 pm
Raphael heaved a sigh of relief, his friend didn't have to go. His dad would allow him to stay. It also came with the realization that even his dad was afraid of things. It was kind of odd to realize that.
His dad was trusting him. His dad was telling him to tell him if it got too much. It felt good that his dad trusted him so much. He thought for a a moment, "Rini...she doesn't hear voices. I don't think she's happy all the time though. I think, she's sad a lot." He struggled with what to say. He didn't want her to stop talking to him and she didn't really hear voices.
He sighed, he knew something was wrong--but he wasn't sure exactly. He knew she got sad about things...I mean everyone got sad about things, but she really got sad about things. But should he tell his dad that or no?
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Posted: Sun Jul 22, 2012 1:31 am
Every parents worst fear was that they would somehow damage their child's future by some action or defect of theirs. Now, for the first time in his life, Lucian realized that his dark passengers were likely hereditary. Raphael had a voice, but not an unkind one. Rini was going through something too, but he didn't know what. Would she even talk to him about it? Was Raphael telling him the truth?
"Are you sure you don't know? Do you know what's wrong at all? She doesn't hear things, but she's sad. Does.." He didn't know what else to ask.
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Nyx Queen of Darkness Crew
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Nyx Queen of Darkness Crew
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Posted: Sun Jul 22, 2012 1:38 am
Raphael's eyes unsquenched as he listened to his father. It was still hard to believe that his father had once heard voices too. It was hard to believe that his friend might actually leave him one day. He didn't know what to think of anymore.
He considered for a moment, he didn't know what to say about Rini. "She feels sad. She thinks there are bad things going to happen. Like...that." He paused trying to figure how to say it, "I don't know. She just worries about things that she has no control over. She worries about me, about a future she thinks might happen. That's all I know thought, dad."
He hoped Rini wouldn't be mad, but there was nothing wrong with her was there? But he'd never thought there anything wrong with him either. Was he wrong about it all?
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Posted: Sun Jul 22, 2012 11:25 pm
Lucian felt in part that he was falling apart. He was a failure of a father. How could he not have known this was coming for both of them? How had he not known what was going on with his own children?
He closed his eyes, trying to think of what to do. Maybe he should talk to Karloff? He'd always had the answers, he'd always calmed the voices and the commotion.
We're still here... The voices chimed together and he felt himself shudder.
"I think we should go back," he was losing control...
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Nyx Queen of Darkness Crew
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Nyx Queen of Darkness Crew
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Posted: Sun Jul 22, 2012 11:51 pm
Raphael saw his father changing before his eyes, something he would think back on later and realize was when he started to slip back into his old ways. But right now through a foal's eyes it wasn't as evident. Something was wrong, but he didn't quite know what.
His father looked frightened, almost frantic. The pained look that went over his father's face worried him. Had telling his father been wrong? Had it been wrong to share so much? Would he hate him now?
"What's wrong daddy?" He whispered it softly.
Don't worry. Just give him time, give him space.
Is he mad at me?
No...
Who then?
Himself.
But why?
He thinks that it's fault that you and Rini are struggling. He doesn't realize he didn't do it.
Of course he didn't! I shoudl tell--
No, he has to realize it on his own. Some things you have to learn on your own. You know that right?
Yeah, but can't I help him somehow?
Be nice. Don't get in trouble. Help your sister and your dad.
Okay, but that's all I can do?
Yeah, they can't get help unless they want it. And you're going to be okay.
I didn't ask.
I know you though. You're going to be fine.
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