Studying. Gwendolyn Caspian was very the type to really get into studying, though she acknowledged that she needed to invest in it more often, but she was determined to find the answer. And she wasn’t going to leave the library until she did!

The flow of time seemed nonexistent once she gathered her books together and hoarded them away in the darkest, loneliest corner of the library that she could find, and her iPod had long since died out, though that was probably for the best since all it did was distract her from her studying. If one could even call it that… more like staring into books filled with words she didn’t understand and hoping that she’d be able to make some sense of it eventually. Maybe she found the answer and completely overlooked it and was just too tired, or dumb, to go back and look at it again. At this rate, if she didn’t feel dumb before, she certainly did now.

She was halfway through one of the many, many books she pulled before realizing that she was just staring at a book and comprehending none of it, and Gwen gave a frustrated sigh, thankful that no one else seemed to be hovering around her to tell her to shush (though at this rate, she’d be likely to just march on over to their table and give them a good punch in the eye and deal with the consequences of being banned from the library forever as she had grown very tired of this place by now and it only being her first day here.)

’At least when Arian was here, there was someone to talk to, bounce ideas off of, even though I couldn’t tell him what my research was about,’ Gwen thought with a pathetic sigh, rubbing her eyes and giving her cheek a harmless slap to wake herself up. Most libraries had a coffee shop in the establishment or at least somewhere close by these days, and she pondered if she should risk leaving her mountain of books here while she went to replenished her depleting energy supplies. Not that she had the money to get anything fancy besides a candy bar, but even that seemed like a godsend at this point, and she wrote a quick note, hoping to ward off anyone, whether it be librarians returning the books to their proper place or another student or person needing one of her many books to not move around anything until she got back. ’Red warrior needs food badly… if I find a single book from this pile missing I will end them!’

Not that she could, really, and Gwen knew this as she slapped the note on the top of the pile and began to stealth her way towards a coffee shop. She, or rather, her alter ego Sailor Tsui, proud senshi of Tigers, hadn’t dusted a youma yet, only helped other senshi, more stronger and experienced ones, and if she couldn’t even dust a youma on her own, then what could she REALLY do to someone who took her books before she was done with them?

’I couldn’t even stop that guy who took my purse when Micah was inside of it…’ Gwen thought to herself morosely, remembering the experience with vivid detail and thankful that her ankle –finally- seemed to be healing well enough on its own now that it didn’t throb anymore. Not that she did any physical activities between then and now, but the experience was frightening enough on its own. Someone had the nerve to cut her purse and run off with it, and if it weren’t for Jett’s interference, she would have lost Micah forever. There was no doubt about that… in her condition, sick and injured from her fight with Sailor Remarque, that she wouldn’t have caught up with him without a Good Samaritan stepping in to help, and this bothered Gwen greatly. It reflected something about her that she didn’t like, never liked, even before being awakened as a Senshi.

She wasn’t ready to face this world yet. She wasn’t strong enough, experienced or wise enough to compete in this world, and not just as Gwendolyn Caspian, but as Sailor Tsui as well. She could barely sense youma on her own, though at first she thought it was just because of this damned cold that seemed to hound her even when she took the time to rest. She had won several confrontations with youma, though she had never dusted one on her own, and even when she did win, she had only managed to do so by the skin of her teeth and with the aid of another stronger Senshi. Had they not been there, she knew that she could have, and probably should have, died several times over, and this only reflected her failure to adapt to a different situation, and this made her angry.

She picked fights with various youma, a Negaverse lieutenant and even a Dark Mirror Senshi, and while she had lived, it was either through the help of others, pity, or sheer dumb luck, and all of that was inexcusable! What did those challengers have that she lacked?

’Experience, for starters!’ Gwen answered that easily, finding the coffee stand and thankful that it was still open. She grabbed a Snickers, normally hating the peanuts but knowing that she needed something filling, and if Snickers didn’t work, then nothing would. Her mind wasn’t on the task at hand, running on autopilot as she was trying to figure out what it was that she was lacking in regards to her competition. ’It’s not just that, though. They seem more organized, more prepared.’

The thought hit her as she paid for the candy bar and made her way back towards her desolate corner that she had claimed for herself, and it seemed like her mind became clearer with this sudden revelation. ’They’re focused. They have a definitive goal… and a leader that they can see, hear, trust. That’s what the White Moon Court is lacking…’

If that wasn’t the answer, then Gwen knew she would have been truly stumped. But it was as clear as day to her. When she was awakened as a Senshi, Pippin had told her that she was a warrior of justice and her goal was to defend the weak, the helpless, and, in her own case, animals of any kind. And while that seemed like a good goal, it seemed different, unique from what Sailor Draconis’ goal was, or even Sailor Chibi Lenka’s goal. Her mind wondered to all of the White Moon senshi she’s encountered in the short time that she was a Senshi herself, and each one seemed different, unique, defined from one another, and while this made each one of them memorable, they lacked the unity that their enemy had. And Gwen knew that she was just as guilty as they were; after all, she had run out on her own so many times (which is what often led her into some of her more trialing situations, now that she sat down and thought about it), prided herself into being the Senshi of Tigers, and not the loyal servant of the White Moon Court itself.

’But then again, what –is- the White Moon Court anyway?’ Gwen hadn’t even bothered to notice if any of her books was missing, as the first thing she did when she sat down was dive right into the Snickers bar. Her stomach rejoiced at the fact that it would have something to digest soon, but she paid little attention to the matter, continuing to run on autopilot as she got lost in her thoughts. ’I know it’s the opposite of the Dark Mirror Court, and it’s suppose to stand for Order, but I… don’t think I see any of that. How can you have order when you’re not united?’

This notion baffled Gwen, and in truth, even on her best of days, she wasn’t the type to want to get involved in this kind of mental dilemmas. She was more action, less talk kind of girl, and all of this studying and contemplation was completely out of her element, despite knowing that she was doing this to better herself in the future. If Gwen wanted to improve herself as a Senshi, she had to step outside of her comfort zone, embrace the challenge that came with it, and Gwen knew that she was definitely capable of doing that. She prided herself in trying something new, and now would be no different! She was doing to figure this whole ordeal out, but one thing at a time!

’I can’t think of the entire group on my own… that’s just impossible right now! I don’t even KNOW all of the Senshi in the same court, so it wouldn’t be fair to make a judgment on that,’ Gwen thought to herself, devouring the Snickers bar and licking the remaining chocolate off of her fingers before diving back into the books. With renewed energy and interest, Gwen was ready to take on the challenge ahead of her, and she grabbed the next book in the pile, hoping that when she opened it, it wouldn’t be in Chinese, like the few before. ’I cannot think to make the group better without improving myself first, and I can do that by figuring out more about Tsui itself!’

Thanks to Arian’s advise, she was able to pinpoint a specific topic at least, and she dove into the huge world of Chinese astronomy and astrology. That was certainly no easy task, as she had known absolutely jack and s**t about Western astronomy and astrology, much like Chinese, but she knew that it was the best place to look. Tigers resided in the east, and the name of the star constellation that she was part of was, without a doubt, Chinese. She recalled what she could gather about the constellation itself, glancing over her notes to try to get a good idea of all of the important details.

’Tsui, or sometimes spelled or called Zi Xiu. The Turtle Beak of the White Tiger constellation, which is called Baihu. One of the four directional guardians of China, along with Vermillion Phoenix, Black Tortoise, and Azure Dragon.’ Her concentration was cut off at that point, recalling Sailor Draconis and musing about the Senshi that she briefly met. She was the Senshi of Dragons (obviously), but she wondered if she was the one fulfilling that role of the Azure Dragon. ’I didn’t see any blue on her attire, or at least, I don’t remember. Maybe she’s not part of the same sphere… hmmm…’

The matter itself wasn’t as pressing as solving her own identity as a Senshi, but she put an star by the brief mention of the Azure Dragon for later, and then underlined the other two as well. Perhaps once she’s figured herself out, she could figure out if the other directional guardians would play into things, and she went back to her notes specifically about Tsui and the rest of White Tiger. ’If I’m the Senshi of Tigers, then why is my fuku mostly white, black, and –silver- instead of orange? Am I really suppose to represent Baihu, the White Tiger? Then… why am I Sailor Tsui and not Sailor Baihu?’

It was quite puzzling for Gwen. There were seven mansions of the White Tiger constellation, yet why was she the sphere of the Turtle Beak, Tsui, when there were six other constellations not accounted for? Did that mean that there are other Senshi of Tigers, and they merely haven’t been awakened yet? Were they waiting to be awakened? This was troubling to Gwen, and not to mention a little disheartening. ’Could it be… that I’m not meant to be the only senshi of Tigers? I’m not sure how that’s even suppose to work… but if there are other Tiger senshi out there, then maybe I should look for them?’

Not that she was sure how that was possible, and in truth, she felt that there was more to this ordeal than she originally thought. No, it was no doubt about it. Pippin had told her that she was the Senshi of Tigers, plural, meaning all tigers. And the coloration of her fuku suggested that she was meant to be the White Tiger…

“Attention, the library will be closing in fifteen minutes. I repeat, the library will be closing in fifteen minutes. Please…”

The rest of the message was a blur to Gwen, and reluctantly, she grabbed a handful of books that she hadn’t read yet and began to make her way towards check out. She’d simply have to take her research material home with her and hope that she was able to piece together the puzzles. She had to see if there was a reason why she was the Senshi of all tigers, but her sphere only covering a mere fraction of the larger constellation herself. ’If it was possible to travel to Tsui and see if there’s any method behind this… but how the hell do you travel to a star and live?’

“I repeat, the library will be closing in fifteen minutes.”

Gwen, so exhausted and confused from her rigorous studying session, growled right back at the intercom, making a few of the regulars chuckle and shake their heads at her retort. “Alright, alright! I get it! I’m going, shut up!”

(Word count: 2245)