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 Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 1:53 am
The last game had been played, the last prizes collected. Princess Eva had been collected (and whatever Alexander's pet was named, he would have to ask about that later). And now the best friends and their respective pets were leaving the Scarentine's event together, rather slowly making their way to the monster dormitory and Yǐn Cáng's room. Yin was feeling almost buzzed by how blissfully happy he was. The rabo tucked in his arm had shown approval at her new toy and was purring now that he was carrying her. His adoration for her was absolute, and if she batted at the foxfire plush one more time he was probably going to write a haiku of praise.
Oh, and Alexander was there as well, and had actually seemed to have enjoyed the evening. Yin was rather happy about that as well, as he felt oddly responsible for the zomboil enjoying the evening as he had been the one to give the invitation. It certainly seemed as if for once everything had gone perfectly fine for the two of them, at least in the weremantis' mind.
There was really just one thing bothering him. "So, you said that you had something you wished to speak to me about?" Yes, curiosity was certainly getting the better of him. He was not used to the zomboil not just...saying what needed to be said. Unless...perhaps it was something embarrassing or secret that needed to be said in private. "Or do you want to wait until we get to my room to talk?" Belatedly he realized it might be upsetting news, and Alexander wanted him to be out of the public eye when he gave it to him. Something about his family perhaps?
Oh Great Mantis, his sisters were not old enough to come to Amityville were they?
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Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 5:45 am
Though he had been having a great time, the evening finally had begun to wind down, and as both Alex and Yin had no interest in any more rounds of meeting new students, or in playing games, or in collecting prizes, it seemed like a logical time to leave.
Though he was still agonizing through things in his head, he couldn't help but be cheerful as they first made their way to pick up their respected pets, and then started along towards the monster dorms. Really, with what a great time he had had, and with Yin in such a good mood, Alex would have been hard pressed not to be his usual smiling and cheerful self.
Since his jacket was already dirty and was going to need cleaning no matter what (thanks in part to Princess Eva's earlier climb up his arm and launch off of his back), Alex took it off to wrap around the filthy undead pom's when he picked him up. The guy was a wiggling mass of half rotten flesh and skeletal parts as he tried desperately for a time just to get free of Alex's grasp, likely so that he could cuddle into Alex's chest, which Alex was having no part of with his actually clean, long sleeved, and white button up shirt. Eventually the little guy settled down, and just went limp, gurgling happily and drooling all over the inside of Alex's suit jacket.
Gross.
They were probably half way to the monster dorms when Yin asked his question. Alex suddenly felt that all too familiar tightening in his chest, and it was probably a good thing he didn't actually need to breathe, though he sucked in a deep breath anyways, his smile slipping from his face as he glanced over towards Yin. He continued to trek slowly onward, judging how much time they had before they would actually be at the dorm quickly in his mind and trying to decide if it was worth starting this conversation now or if he aught to wait until they were at the dorm itself. There was no way for Alex to know how this conversation was going to end, though his mind played out multiple scenario's, each one worse then the last, all but shattering what little willpower he had to just...tell Yin what he wanted to tell him. It was a horrible feeling, the not knowing, but he told himself it would only get worse if he didn't just get it off of his chest and then hopefully, out of his mind.
"I--I guess we can start now.." he said, his voice a touch more hoarse then usual. His mouth had suddenly just gotten so dry, and his throat so very constricted. He coughed into his arm as though to clear it, taking the opportunity to glance around and make sure that they were indeed, alone.
Alex didn't need anybody witnessing what was bound to be the worst moment of his life. But even knowing that it would likely end badly, he had still made the decision. He was going to tell Yin, because the weremantis deserved to know the truth. But could he just come straight out and say it?
Of course not.
"Yin do you...remember when, back at my house, I told you I would tell you things, especially...important things?" He kept his eyes straight ahead, trying not to think too much about the words coming out of his mouth. Trying to keep it casual, eyes flicking to the side from time to time to look at Yin and gauge his reactions.
Oh jack, what a way to start...
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Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 7:37 am
Yin looked over at the zomboil, a bit worried by his cough. That was not something that he was used to hearing from him, and he hoped that there was not some sort of Fear infection going around. He was looking around almost...almost nervously, and that put Yin on edge. He was suddenly glad for the familiar and warm weight of Princess Eva in his arms, gripping her perhaps a touch tighter than necessary but she cuddled up to him willingly, though she too seemed rather interested in staring at the zomboil.
He was not sure if they should stop to talk, but he pushed himself to continue walking, deciding that if Alexander needed to stop to talk he could always do so in a minute. Did he remember what he had told him? Yes, of course he did. It was an odd question to ask really but...well if Alexander was bringing this up he obviously had something important to tell him. And if he was this nervous it was probably truly important. But he had seemed fine earlier. They had been having fun and nothing had seemed out of place. Had something happened during the evening? Yin could think of nothing, except...well he had not been with the zomboil the entire evening. Had something happened during one of his conversations? Miss Xiu-Ying had been his first partner, and he trusted her and could not think of anything happening...but what about the others?
His own mouth was beginning to go dry as his mind began darting down various paths, but there was really only one answer to give. "Of course I remember Alexander. And I want you to. If it is important to you than it is important to me, and I am here for when you need to talk." Even if he had crummy advice and was far to likely to not have a clue when it came to half of the things in Halloween.
(sorry, quick tag before church/lunch~)
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Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 10:05 am
Well, Yin now looked worried, which Alex supposed made sense, since he just basically told him he had something important to tell him, without offering up any other details what so ever. It could be any number of things, anything....maybe what Alex had to tell Yin, the weremantis wouldn't even think was important at all. Alex was possibly going about this the wrong way entirely, and should just say what he knew he needed to say and get it over with. But it was....it was too hard, and too sudden, whether for Alex to say or for Yin to hear. He wanted to either build himself up to it or guide Yin down the path of understanding.
He just had to somehow force himself to get there, first.
"Ok, that's good." He nodded slowly, before continuing on, even as they continued their walk. "And...of course, you'll also remember that I said something earlier tonight, about how you might be surprised about..." just say it. "...who likes you?" He had to struggle to get those last few words out, but he managed, and a small smile tugged at the corners of his lips.
He was actually doing this. He couldn't believe he was actually going to do this. This is the worst thing you could do. Why are you doing this? The small almost smile disappeared as his thoughts started to turn dark. He reached a hand up to push his hair back from his face. He'd lasted all night without doing that once.
He could see the outline of the monster dorm looming in the distance. They weren't really that far away from it now.
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Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 11:15 am
Wait, what was Alexander saying? Why was he bringing that up? He could see a faint smile on Alexander's lips when he glanced over, so...wait did that mean...
He almost stumbled and Princess Eva gave a small whine in his arms, twisting slightly (though perhaps it was simply because she had seen the creature in Alexander's suit coat). What did Alexander know? Did someone actually like him like that? Had someone said something to him at the event that they had just left? He tried not to panic but his heart was beating faster and nerves were clawing inside of him like living creatures. He was not...no, females here did not choose like they did at home. And the males that he knew were just friends...or seemed to hate him. He had the right to refuse here. He could leave here as well. Run away just like he had from the Clan. just take Princess Eva and go, escape before they could confront him. Leave before they could ever make their offer.
But that would mean leaving everything from the past three months behind. Miss Danny. Miss Xiu-Ying. He looked over to see the zomboil brush the hair out of his face, a familiar gesture. Alexander. No, he did not want to leave. Not like that. And he could not think of anyone that would think to choose him. He had no special qualities here, nothing to offer.
Then again, perhaps he was just reading into what Alexander had said the wrong way. "But...but you were joking, right?" he said weakly. Maybe Alexander was just joking again, but why would he ask him to walk with him just to tease him?
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Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 11:58 am
Alex had really done it now. Yin was....had he almost stumbled? And Princess Eva had just whined...Oh dear jack this was not going well at all.
Like you had expected it to go well? Really?
Well...no. In fact, he had expected it to go quite badly. He had expected it to be hard, and for things to just get harder the further it went. He could still stop now, though, he could still turn back. He could spare his friend from having to hear any of this. He could laugh it off like he was just bugging him, and bull s**t up some other reason for 'needing to talk'.
But...but you were joking, right?
Alex squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, grimacing a little. It had been a joke, when he had first said it. Well, sort of, anyways. He hadn't meant to make it anymore then teasing words from a friend, but from the moment Yin reacted to it, like he wanted to know who might like him that way....it stopped being a joke then, and Alex had run away from having to answer him.
He took in another deep breath, this one just a touch shaky, as though that would help supress the turmoil inside of him. "I...I wasn't entirely joking...." Good, good, now keep going. "I mean, when I first said it, it was like a joke, but when I realised how seriously you took it, and then when you asked me about it..I.." ran away "..I didn't know how to tell you that there is somebody. Somebody you know fairly well. So I well..I panicked a little bit."
The monster dorms were getting ever closer, but Alex realised they weren't going to make it that far, so he just stopped walking, and waited for Yin to stop too. It was so surreal, to actually be here, to be hearing himself admit these things out loud that he had kept pent up inside for so long.
He wanted to be looking anywhere right now but at Yin. At the ground, perhaps, or maybe into the distance just beyond the other boils shoulder. But no, he had to do this, and he had to look him in the eye and tell him. He wasn't going to act like some scareling, he wasn't going to hide anymore. His gaze locked on Yins, his eyes filled with so many emotions that it would be impossible to pick one out as being predominant. Sadness, regret, trepidation..with maybe just the smallest hint of hopefulness.
"But this..someone..I know that they really like you, Yin. They see you, I mean really, they see you and they can only see absolutely the best in you. They see your honesty, your thoughtfulness, your integrity. They see how strong you are and...and how brave you are." Was his voice cracking a little bit? So much for not acting like a scareling....
No turning back now, might as well keep going.
"But since he also thought that it would be for the best, for the good of their friendship, if he didn't say anything...he's now just standing here, scared to death of what the repercussions of telling you all of this might be. He really doesn't want to lose his best friend, but he also can't hide this anymore"
There. Done. It was done. Did he feel any better because of it?
Surprisingly? Yes.
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Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 1:42 pm
The first words out of Alexander's mouth confirmed his worst fear, and immediately his mind began whirring, toying with how he could leave, or what his other options were. Maybe if he knew who it was he could simply avoid them? But no, it was someone that he knew fairly well? Why would Alexander panic about that? He noticed that the zomboil had stopped a moment ago and he stopped to turn to face him, searching his face as if somehow, miraculously, he could find the answer there.
And when he finally met his eyes he was simply more confused, unable to decipher what he found there. "N-no, I...I am not" he stammered quietly, not really believing what he was hearing. Well...yes he was honest but thoughtful? Strong? Had that not been disproved enough? Brave? Stubborn perhaps...and he would not back away and and protect his friends...but he was not brave. This person must be delusional, or maybe Alexander had misunderstood. Maybe they were talking about a different Yin...or a Ken or Ben or some other boil that was not him.
He? Wait but who? Friendship? Standing here? Best friend?
He was just staring at him now in disbelief, trying to wrap his head around what Alexander was saying. It was almost...as if he was suggesting that he...that Alexander...liked him. Like...more than a friend liked him. His face was heating up as his brain simply...short-circuited. He had been all prepared to run away from whoever it was, either from them specifically or from the entire school. But he had not been prepared to run from Alexander, and that was what bewildered him.
He was not sure how long he would have stood there, blinking in confusion, if Princess Eva had not yipped. His hands had tightened on her and she was through being squeezed, and the noise caused him to start, almost dropping her.
He should probably say something.
He opened his mouth but nothing was really coming out, which meant that he was gaping like a fish out of water.
He probably would have preferred to be a fish out of water at the moment.
When he was finally able to speak it was nothing particularly enlightening. "But...but why? I am nothing like that." And actually, that seemed to fit. He was not quite as disturbed by the fact that Alexander liked him as he was by the fact that he could. The zomboil was confused. That was all there was to it. He began shaking his head, backing up half a step, one hand patting Princess Eva anxiously. "I am not like that. I am not brave. I just run away. I always run away. You are a much better person than I ever will be. You...you cannot waste your feelings on me."
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Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 2:49 pm
Well, the good news was, Yin didn't run away. and weight that had been sitting on Alex's chest for far too long had been lifted. He felt so much better, having finally told Yin the truth, even if what might happen next still terrified him. He could take it. He could. He could handle whatever blows were dealt him now.
The bad news was that Yin was just standing there, looking stunned and disbelieving. He didn't think he was any of those things that Alex had said, and that was like a slap to the face. Like Alex didn't know him well enough to see that he was in fact, all of those things and more? "Yes you are." He insisted, through gritted teeth, "Apparently you are stubborn and modest as well, but you know what? I like that too. I like everything about you, and it's not just a waste of feelings. Also..you haven't run away from me yet. " He pointed out, though the way he was now backing up...it was certainly possible that he was going to.
Let him run away, you don't deserve him, as a best friend or otherwise.
Ok, so this was a little awkward now. Now that Alex had gotten over the initial difficulty of admitting the truth to his best friends face, he found that he could speak about it with more ease. But Yin....Yin was not responding to it in anyway that Alex had imagined. Was there anything else Alex could say?
"Look I..I know this is a lot to take in but..it's how I feel, and it's not just going to go away. Trust me. I just...I wanted you to know because I can't stop thinking about it or...about you. And I don't for one moment expect you to feel the same way about me, and I'm not trying to make you see me that way. But you are my best friend, and you deserve to know..." Though if Yin did feel the same way...was that even possible? Was that even a valid scenario?
In Alex's mind? No, that wasn't something that even registered as a possibility. Why would Yin ever feel the same way? Why was Yin even friends with him (let alone best friends) for that matter? As depressing as it was, Alex knew that he didn't have anything spectacular to offer to Yin, besides some book knowledge and a ready smile.
"In any case..what happens now is your choice. I'll do anything you want. If you never want to see me again, I'll go. If you still want to be friends but never want me to talk about this again, then I can do that too, I think... I just know that you didn't get to choose many things in your life, Yin, but this is one of the things that you can." His gaze finally fell to the ground. He was finished. There was nothing more he could say unless Yin asked him for more.
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Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 3:56 pm
Why could it not be someone else?
Anyone else and it would have been easy to make a decision. Run. Run away. And never return.
But yet again his brain was coming back to the fact that it was Alexander, and Alexander was different. Alexander was special. What that what it took to go beyond mere friendship? Was that all that it took to want someone for his bonded?
But how could Alexander even feel like this toward him? That was still just mind-boggling to the mantodae. They were best friends, and he had honestly never considered the zomboil as anything...more. All of these thoughts were just causing his neck, ears, and face to gradually become redder and redder. Had Alexander been so good at keeping his feelings a secret or had Yin simply been that oblivious?
But it was his choice. Alexander was telling him to make the decision. He was letting Yin decide. And he was promising to go with whatever Yin decided. But how could he even begin to decide? Did he think about the Alexander who was always so patient with him, who taught him about Halloween, who had tried to share his family with him and was seemingly always there for him? Who had bought Princess Eva gifts? Or did he think about the Alexander who had tried to rip out his chest and bite him, or the one that had had the picture of him as a ghoul on his phone?
But the Alexander in front of him was above all else the boil that had just went with him to an event when he had asked, had played games with him all evening, had checked up on Princess Eva with him.
The Princess in question suddenly squirmed, surprising him and she jumped from his arms, landing on the ground and looking up at him before deliberately walking over and sitting next to the zomboil and then looking between the two boils. She was right. He could not lose the zomboil.
"I do not wish to lose you," he said, voice tight as he stared at the rabo. "You are my best friend. But...but I need time to think. Please. This is not me trying to tell you never to talk about this...in fact, if you still feel this way in a week I would like you to talk to me again, and I shall try to make a decision." A troubled look had crossed his face. No, that was not enough of an explanation. If the zomboil was going to be so open with him he had to at least respect him enough to do the same in return. Just say it, say it and get it over with.
"Alexander this is a big decision for me. It...I...I cannot be like you and the others at this school. It is not how I was raised and I cannot completely change. For me this would be a commitment. A long-term one. I would not expect you to consider it as such, but whatever I decide would be that way for me. Knowing this if you would still like to consider something...more," had his voice just cracked? Keep talking. Get past this. "ask me in a week. If not we can both try to forget about this." Princess Eva was back and he was scooping her up in his arms, cuddling her against his chest and trying not to give in and just bury his face in her fur.
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Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 8:17 pm
Yin had, obviously, just been oblivious. Everyone around Alex seemed to know what was going on, even before Alex himself knew. In fact, Alex couldn't have even pinpointed the exact moment when his feelings towards Yin changed from just being friends to wanting something more then that. Was it at some point during their afternoon together at the maul? Had it been when Alex had spent all night looking for his friend, worried beyond belief that something terrible had happened to him after he hadn't shown up for their meeting in the library? Or had it just taken his date with Michi to finally open his eyes and see that who he actually wanted to take on a date, a real date, not just some afternoon at the maul, was Yin? Alex had almost been as oblivious as Yin, but he had managed to catch on just a little bit faster.
Alex was still staring at the ground, unable to raise his eyes, afraid of what he was going to see. And so, when Princess Eva squirmed free of Yin's grasp, he hadn't even known or noticed, until the little rabo crossed his line of sight and sat down next to him.
Of all of the things he hadn't expected, that would have been high on the list. Had Yin put her down on the ground for some reason? His gaze shot back up to the weremantis, a bewildered look in his eyes. What was even happening anymore? But Yin was speaking now, and while the mantodae definitely looked upset, the words were again, not at all what Alex was expecting. A...a week? He was going to make a decision..in a week..
Was he actually considering trying to be more then friends??
Alex highly doubted that at this point, a week was going to make any difference in how he felt. "I-I wouldn't expect you to make a decision like that right now, and I understand what it would mean for you, of course." He actually hadn't even thought about it, because he never thought there would be a reason to have to think about it.
"So...one week then..ok." his hands were shaking, but it was hidden by the suit jacket wrapped around the poms he was holding, though the poor creature within had stopped his happy gurgling.
"Does...does that mean that..you don't want to see me for a week? I mean..what do we do now?" Was he supposed to just walk away now, and leave Yin alone to his thoughts for a week and then just...harass Yin when that week was up? Yin still just looked so confused, so Alex felt terrible asking but...
What happened next?
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Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 8:54 pm
It seemed as if Alexander had thought of everything. He had even thought about how Yin was raised and was still approaching him. And Yin? He had thought of nothing. Alexander was completely wrong if he thought the mantodae had virtues to be admired. His shoulder sagged slightly, this was just...too much. He needed time to think. To think when Alexander was not just standing right there.
"I do not know," he replied, sounding more than a little frustrated. "If we see each other than...we see each other. We are not strangers and we should not act as such. But I do not believe we should spend much time together, or plan anything." He looked up so that he could look Alexander clearly in the eye. "But I want you to promise me that you will give this serious consideration. I will not be upset if you change your mind."
He waited, needing to hear the promise from Alexander though he felt confident that the zomboil would comply be murmuring "good evening," before turning to go toward the monster dormitory, not looking back as he left. Maybe tomorrow...maybe he would sleep in. And not train. Or maybe he should just go and train now and not sleep. Maybe he would go talk to Miss Danny and make sure that she was alright after taking that blow to the face. Or maybe...maybe he would actually force himself to stop and think about what had just happened.
Maybe Nurse Cricket had a cure for the way his stomach was twisted into knots.
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Posted: Mon Feb 20, 2012 8:49 am
Alex nodded dumbly. It made sense. If he really wanted to be able to think this through, like really really think it through, then he needed time away from Yin. It might clear his head a little if he had some space....especially if it was space away from the one filling his head so much.
"Ok, ya, that sounds reasonable." He answered, then let out a shaking breath, a smile finally making it's way to his face.
"Of course I'll give it serious consideration. I understand the..implications...and that it would be a..a..commitment." There was probably more to it then just that though, and he should really give it serious thought. There were probably still so many things Alex didn't know, and if he didn't give this serious thought well..that would just be stupid.
"Good night, Yin..." He answered, quietly, as he watched the other boil turn and go. He stood there for a long time afterwards, wondering again what had just happened. Not anything he had been expecting to happen, that's for sure. And one week...one week wasn't so long.
Alex finally turned to leave, when he couldn't even see Yin anymore, and started towards his own dorm. He had a lot to think about, and only a week to do it. He didn't yet realise that this would be the longest week of his unlife.
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