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 Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2012 1:45 pm
Things were changing for Musabari, and, indeed, all of his brothers and sisters. All nine of them. Adulthood had come, and the litter had blossomed into fine young lions, ready to take on new responsibilities and become actively contributing members of the pride.
Musabari was taking it all in stride. His duties as a scout for the pride brought him frequently to the borders of the pride, and everything he saw there made him more excited to be alive. It had been in him all along, to be an adult, and he embraced it gladly.
Now that there was another litter running the den, though, Musabari and Kam had relocated to leave their younger siblings more space. Leaving home had never really factored into the golden lion's plans, but he figured that it was all part of the process of growing up. And growing up was something that he was all too happy to do. Still, he hadn't counted on missing his mother so much, and now that he had a moment off, he was heading back to see if Mzuza was home.
He hoped it would be her and not... well. A certain other someone.
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Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2012 2:10 pm
 Unfortunately for Musabari, the one lion he’d rather avoid was standing at the mouth of the den he sought, head turning in every direction as a great number of cubs ran around his legs with the noisy enthusiasm of carefree youths.
“Sar, if you keep drawing here I’m going to step on it by accident. Go to… Kwende! Stop biting your sister’s ear! Hey, hey…!” He had decided that he would be very involved in the raising of his second litter and involved he was! Mzuza was taking a short break and spending a bit of quiet time with her family and Rei had stayed with the cubs alone, which was unusual to say the least. Mzuza was with him most of the times and Akairo and Samawati often joined him when he was with the little ones. Not today! Today was on his own and truly realizing that his adorable cubs were a lot of work.
“Ah, Musabari…” He said softly when he spotted the adult lion. It was so strange… the son that looked the most like him was the one he had never been able to truly bond with. “Ah… Mzuza isn’t here right now…” Oh perhaps he was here to see his younger siblings? Funny how Rei didn’t even consider the possibility that Musabari had come to see his father.
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Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2012 2:23 pm
Crap. Too late, Musabari realized that today was not his lucky day. He would have turned around and left, but for the fact that his father - now that was a term he had still not become accustomed to - had already spotted him. The studious lion's ears sunk into his mane. What now? Much as he wanted to turn around, the good manners instilled in him by his mother prevented him from doing so, and he ended up taking reluctant steps closer to the den.
At least... at least the cubs were still here, although Musabari didn't expect them to make the situation any better. For a moment, he found himself wishing Kam was with him, until he remembered that his brother actually got along quite well with Rei. Musabari had yet to understand how so many of his siblings had forgiven their father already.
Still, at least Kam could have taken some of Rei's attention elsewhere.
"Oh... uhm." Musabari heard himself say. "Right." Well. He wasn't quite sure where to go from there, or whether there actually was anywhere to go. He couldn't help but think of how easily Kam had welcomed Rei back into his life. There were moments when Musabari wondered why he couldn't do the same, and whether it would have made everything easier if he had. But every time, those thoughts were answered by memories of his earlier days, before Rei had ever been in the picture, and he remembered that there was a reason for his continued resistance against his father.
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Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2012 2:47 pm
Right. Oh no, this was definitely not awkward, not at all…
Rei watched his red-eyed son carefully, wondering for a moment if there was something he had come to tell him. In a way, it was nice that Zikamil wasn’t glued to his side for once as it provided them with an unusual opportunity to have a real talk with a loud buffer between them. The thing was… Rei didn’t really know what to talk about. Musabari was much quieter than his siblings especially when Rei was around so he felt it was difficult to get to know him properly. There was also something in his eyes that always made the purple-eyed lion a little nervous… was it resentment, judgment...? Rei didn’t know and he was still afraid to ask even though he suspect a real talk would have to happen sometime soon.
“So… how have you been adjusting to the your new duties?” Rei started in a casual tone, trying not to look nervous. “Careful, Dayo! That looks sharp.”
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Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2012 3:07 pm
He could tell that there was a "conversation" coming up, just by the way the two of them were just standing around each other awkwardly. More than anything, now Musabari wished Kam was there, if for no other reason than to deflect Rei's attempts to get to know him better. Or whatever it was he was trying to do. It wasn't like they weren't both painfully aware of how awkward this all this.
"Uhm, fine," he managed, staring fixedly at one of Sar's doodles. Musabari appreciated those little drawings his little brother loved to make. Musabari wasn't much of an artist, and his own "drawings" were usually tactical maps and diagrams to facilitate learning, but they ran along the same lines as Sar's art. At least Musabari understood, for the most part, what they meant.
"I might become a Historian." It wasn't really like Musabari to divulge that sort of information in front of his father, but there seemed to be some kind of... point to that simple statement. He had never really wanted to be a scout, but had followed Kam into it because his brother had been so enthusiastic. Musabari guessed that part of it had been because Rei was also of that rank, but where it had made Kam more eager to pursue a career as a scout, it had made Musabari much less willing.
In any case, because a scout wasn't much for him, whether or not his father was one. The stories and history that came with his home seemed far more interesting to him.
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Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2012 3:31 pm
For a brief moment, Rei feared they would end up talking about the weather which was rather sad considering this was his son he was talking to. The short reply left him a little worried and wishing Zikamil would suddenly pop up from behind them to liven up the conversation. The little revelation that followed, however, was as interesting as it was surprising. Not that the rank didn’t suit Musabari. Rei was simply surprised that he decided to share his decision at that moment.
“Really?” he asked rhetorically, meeting his son’s gaze for a few moments. “I think… it suits you. Did you tell your mother yet?” There was a good chance he already had but Rei liked to think he’d remember if Mzuza had shared the news with him. Belatedly, he hoped Musabari didn’t take offense to his words. “Ah… I didn’t mean you’re not good at being a Scout, of course. Only that you’ve always been very clever and thoughtful. At least that’s what Mzuza always said…” His voice dropped gradually until it was little more than a mumble and Rei promptly looked away, feeling rather flustered. Was this supposed to this difficult?! He tried to chuckle but an odd sound came out instead. “We don’t usually talk much, do we? Especially since you and Kamil are always together.” And Zikamil had a way of pulling the attention to himself rather easily as anyone who’d met the lilac-eyed brother could attest.
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Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2012 8:22 pm
Musabari wouldn't have minded talking about the weather. Or the state of the herds this season. Anything, really, that didn't have to do with his personal life. He wasn't even sure why he had mentioned his inclination toward becoming a historian, and the farther they stayed from such intimate details of his life, the better. Even Kam wasn't always in the know when it came to personal things, and Musabari preferred to keep it that way.
"No." He shook his head in response. "I just started considering it," he added, a little defensively. The last thing he needed was for Rei to think that Musabari was holding back information from his mother, or that the fact that he had told Rei before Mzuza meant anything special. That was a line - perhaps one of many - that Musabari was not willing to cross.
The red-eyed lion glanced across at Rei. It was so characteristic of his mother to sing his praises - and, indeed, those of all her children - but somehow, it seemed weird, hearing them relayed back to him by his father. For a moment, he was tempted to make some sort of bitter comment, say something like, "You would know," but he held his tongue and bit back the antagonistic words. Musabari hadn't been brought up to be rude, and he refused to let his mother down that way.
Instead, he settled for shaking his head sullenly, glancing back to the Sar's drawing. Even as he watched, little Akai stumbled and went sprawling across the scratches in the dust, erasing the little drawing. "Well. There's usually a reason for that..." He intoned as a small plume of dust rose from the now-destroyed drawing.
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Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2012 4:48 pm
Though he cursed his inability to read his son’s expressions, Rei felt a wave of relief wash over him and his tone lightened considerably. He was mistakenly assuming that Musabari’s revelation had been a sign that his son was trying to reach out to him and the idea warmed his heart. He felt bad enough that he’d missed a good part of his first litter’s cubhood but in all honesty, getting to know and bonding with nine cubs who were just reaching adolescence had not been easy either. He could never give his undivided attention to any of them and as soon as they had hit adulthood, a new litter had suddenly popped up. And with Musabari being one of the quietest and often overshadowed his loud violet-eyed brother, he was also one of the hardest to understand – well, there was also Maral to consider. Rei's purple eyes followed Akai and he smiled gently.
“I wish I could’ve seen you when you were like this. You and your siblings.” She said quietly, knowing full well that mentioning the past might break the mood he believed they were creating. He just didn’t how else to show Musabari that if he wanted to get anything out f his chest, he was always open to it. “Nine...” He was in eternal awe of Mzuza.
"Did you get hurt?" He took a few steps towards Akai and nuzzled him gently. "You should go tell your brother you accidently erased his drawings before he sees that."
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Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2012 6:02 pm
There seemed to be some sort of misunderstanding here. Musabari wondered what he had done wrong, and whether he should have just let his words out as they came. At least then, he wouldn't be faced with this dilemma. Because the last thing he wanted Rei to think was that he was ready to take any sort of progressive step. No, he did not want bond.
Why hadn't he just left? He should have just turned around and made life easier for the both of them. Musabari was not cut out for awkward conversations with lions he had no interest in conversing with, and if he could have just shut up and walked away now, he would have.
But the thought that his mother might suddenly return home and see him walking out bluntly on his father plagued him, and he worried about the possibility of her finding out one way or another. No, he couldn't do that her. For if nothing else, Musabari was determined to be a figure of consistency and responsibility - the figure that seemed to him such the opposite of Rei - and nobody in the world could make him act otherwise.
Luckily for Musabari, Rei presented him with the perfect excuse to become less-than-friendly again. His red eyes shifted to glance over at his father at the mention of his childhood, and he frowned, drawing away. "Yea. Nine," he echoed pointedly, as if Rei needed to be reminded of just how difficult it had been to raise nine cubs alone.
He lapsed into silence again, watching Akai toddle over to Rei with a look of horror on his face and wrap his little arms around the lion's leg. There was something overwhelmingly familiar and happy about the image that only reminded Musabari of everything he hadn't had growing up - namely, that reassuring father figure.
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Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 3:15 pm
Rei did not miss the accusation in Musabari’s tone this time and his purple eyes sought his son’s as soon as Akai had left his side. More than ever, he wished he could know what Mu was thinking. Kamil had always been so positive about his return that Rei had never truly considered the possibility that his quiet shadow might feel very differently about him and now he couldn’t help but wonder that a great deal of hurt and anger could be hiding behind his son’s calm demeanor. Rei felt his chest tightening and his heart missed a beat but he wasn’t the same lion who had once ran off on Mzuza because he’d given in to his fears and doubts. Silently, Rei stepped closer to his adult son.
“Musabari.” He started slowly as he sat down next to Mu. Rei wouldn’t dare to call him by his nickname as it was not something he did often - strange, when one considered how easily he would shorten Zikamil’s name. Perhaps, deep inside, Rei felt he hadn’t earned the right just yet. “Nine. Your mother is amazing. But nine or one… if I had known what I was leaving behind, I would never have left. You know that, right?”
He kept his voice quiet as the conversation seemed to be heading towards a much more serious ground and he didn’t know how Musabari was going to react. He was aware that he might be pushing his son by breaching the subject of his absence so openly but he didn’t want any of the little ones to pick up on the tension so he was already regretting his question. Absolute privacy might be better suited for this conversation.
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Posted: Sun Feb 19, 2012 10:22 am
Musabari tensed as Rei approached, and everything within him seemed to be screaming for him to move away. If not for the incredible will he was displaying, he would have scuttled sideways, and if he but relaxed a single muscle, he would have ended up bounding sideways dramatically. As it was, he managed to remain where he was, but only barely, shooting Rei a sideways glance.
"Yea, maybe," he said shortly. Somehow, Musabari didn't doubt the verity in those words. He had seen the way Rei interacted with the little ones, and though he could be slightly clumsy at times, it didn't take a genius to see that he really cared about them.
But it wasn't even that. It was the mere fact that he had left, and it didn't matter whether he had abandoned just one lioness, or all of her cubs as well. "Why would you have needed a reason to stay?" He demanded finally. It was a question that had been with him almost all his life, and at least ever since Rei had suddenly returned. "Why would you have stayed for us, but not just for her?"
He might have screamed at his father if the cubs hadn't been around.
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Posted: Wed Feb 22, 2012 2:52 am
Rei noticed how rigid Musabari’s body had suddenly become. It was terribly saddening to realize his son was so uncomfortable in the presence of his own father. Clearly, he should’ve worked harder to understand and grow closer to his kingly named son. He was also realizing just how much he had underestimated how close Mu was to his mother and how protective he felt of her. In truth, Rei was starting to see a lot of things he’d never really noticed before.
“I can try to explain it but… nothing will sound good enough. It was a mistake.” He started after a brief pause, his voice very quiet. He didn’t think Mu was prone to sudden outbursts but this was difficult topic and Rei was afraid the cubs would hear them. “I can tell we’re very different, Musabari so I don’t know if you’ll understand if I try to explain. The best I can do is describe what I felt at that time. But it won’t make it better, I think. It was a mistake I greatly regretted.”
This time he eyed his son carefully waiting for a signal that would tell him if he should continue or to just shut up. He was fully prepared to do both, really.
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Posted: Fri Mar 09, 2012 10:58 am
Mogami SORRY IT TOOK FOREVER ;-;
It wasn't like he would understand what Rei had gone through, and his father was right, it wasn't like it would make anything better. But still.
"I don't want to hear it," he began, frowning mightily and refusing to look at Rei. "But I think you owe it to me to tell me." There wasn't a lot that Musabari thought Rei owed him - in fact, the less the better, if it meant that would lessen the ties that held them together - but this was different. This was one of those things that he had to know.
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Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2012 10:33 am
His son was truly angry, Rei could see that now. And he couldn’t really blame him for it. Rei had left Mzuza when everything had been fine between them. He hadn’t been there when she’d found she was pregnant nor when she’d become the mother of nine cubs. Nine… Rei could tell how much the cubs adored and admired their mother and Musabari was no exception. He couldn’t tell what made his son angrier: that he hadn’t been there during his cubhood or that he had left his mother alone in the first place.
“Alright.” He paused, his voice still barely above a whisper. At least they both seemed to be following the silent agreement of keeping their voices down lest some of the little ones pick up on the tense words that were being shared between the two of them. “I was born in the rogue lands but some of my family came from this pride. I was always loud and adventurous, a little like Zikamil… or Zahara. I was never much of a thinker but i had my whole life planned ever since I was little. I was going to become strong enough to leave my family. I was going to go on a great journey filled with many adventures. I was going to meet lions from many prides, see the most amazing sights. Mountains, deserts, swamps. Lions, leopards, cheetahs an even hyenas. I was going to see the world and one day I would see the Pridelands and maybe even meet a distant relative. And I left and then I found this place. Much earlier than I had expected but just as beautiful as I’d been told. And I also found your mother. Someone who fit by my side like I’d never imagined possible. Because of her I lingered in the area, fell in love with the lands and with her even more. But I was restless, Musabari, so restless. And this is what I don’t think you can understand. I would wake up anxious for no reason. I would lose myself every time I looked out in the direction of the rogue lands. Your mother is amazing, you know that. But I was an inexperience kid who had dreamed of seeing the world. She should’ve been enough for me but I felt miserable, trapped.” He glanced at his side wondering if Musabari would grow even angrier after his “confession”.
“So I left. I saw the world. I met all sorts of folk, got into fights, did all the things I’d always dreamed of doing. But I wasn’t happy, not really. All those things, I wanted someone by my side to share them with, I wanted your mother. I missed her so much it was as if I’d left a part of me behind. And I missed these lands as well… more than I had expected.” He paused, very briefly, somewhat afraid Musabari would interrupt him before he could end the tale. “So I returned. Everything was upside down. You were born. A cub had been taken by the hyenas. There was a war on the horizon. I tried to find some balance but it was so hard. Before I knew it, you were all adolescents and I had missed too much. I am sorry for that, Musabari. I really wish I could’ve seen you when you were this small.” He took one deep breath, feeling a strange mix of worry and relief.
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Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2012 11:16 am
Seeing the world... meeting knew creatures... That was all just talk for Musabari. He couldn't understand how this, all this, could ever be too little for anyone. Every day he woke up feeling blessed and honored to be a member of this pride and to be a descendant of one of the greatest kings in all of history. This land and the lions in it were so beautiful - no doubt many times more beautiful than anything that lay beyond the borders - and that should have been enough. That should have been more than enough.
Then again, Musabari had never been outside of the Pridelands, nothing more than standing at the border and looking out, half wondering what the world beyond might be like. But only half, because he had never really cared to know. He had always been to busy with what was happening inside the pride and its lengthy history, and that was where he and Rei differed. Musabari knew how to wonder, but he also knew better than to act on them
And he might have left it at that right then, and forgotten the issue for a while to play with his little siblings, but... "No, don't say that, they're nothing like you," he snapped. "They wouldn't be. They didn't even know you." But whether he liked it or not, Musabari had to admit that some of his siblings did have that impulsive streak and that Kam might be a little bit too much like their father. And that, perhaps, was Musabari's biggest fear.
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