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 Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 3:48 am
Rain hitting the windows and the hum of computers were the only sounds in the Life Labs, save for a bored girl's sighs as she clicked through various files and reports, eyes glazing over save for the pictures.
Clerise was, in fact, not fond of computers: really, any sort of technology she had a special disdain for.
(It made for an interesting moral compromise, to know that, at the core level, all of their fancy pants runes were powered by computers, all by 1s and 0s-- how strange.)
Before Deus Ex--
(Which felt so long ago already, despite her short stay here thus far.)
Clerise had had no more than a simple brick of a phone that she paid for by the minute. She'd only purchased it at the behest of the Ringmaster and her on again off again man in the midwest. She couldn't text worth a damn and was, more often than not, too lazy to do so. She could barely work anything that plugged into the wall that wasn't a foreman grill, a rice cooker, a hot plate, or a microwave.
Yet it was raining, which meant the Training Grounds were nasty and slick with mud, and the idea of ruining any of her precious few clothes with stains was embarrassing-- she had the good graces not to ruin a nice coat, especially when it was the only one she had.
So: Life Labs. Reading, or something like.
{[ It is relatively remarkable to me that you are practically illiterate. ]}
"Shut up," she drawled, bored to tears. She was reading about the Militarization of the Association, where there were a few pictures of weapons and tanks, fancy uniforms and more.
{[ I feel I must clarify: my previous assessment, sheila, has a negative connotation. ]}
"Noted, Captain," Clerise replied, voice complete deadpan. She was about ready to give up, anything was better than this, even hanging out in the kitchen like a mangy dog--
But then.
She saw them, and they were....Amazing. Adorable, tiny and precious. Picture after picture, species after species. Hurriedly, the Life hunter printed out a few pictures and took off RUNNING towards an office-- almost a certain leader's but oh my christ he was the creepiest b*****d ever (and would also drink her under the table, as he once had when recruiting her)-- and instead did a last minute turn towards a different office.
Without care to whether or not the woman inside was busy or not, Clerise barged in, red eyes wild.
"SHOW ME THEM." She waved the printouts, pointing at them furiously.
"YOUR MINIPETS. SHOW ME THEM."
A high pitched (and uncharacteristic) squeal was emitted as she gushed about one, smiling wildly. "They are so ******** adorable, do we have any, OHMYGOD."
{[ You are mentally DEFICIENT. ]}
She didn't even care. Not even a little; not when such adorable, tiny things were at hand.
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 4:02 am
Whipping around in her chair, Clarice stared at the sudden intruder, face flushed and expression ever so slightly guilty. "I don't know what you're talking about." She gave the woman a once over and then added a dire, "Trainee."
She crossed her arms over her chest and tried to cover her flustered state via imposing bitchface. "But the minipet labs it that ******** you little s**t." The blonde bit out several curses even as a tiny horn popped up from behind her desk, followed by a blonde mane of hair, a pair of blue heart-shaped eyes and a slightly happy, if vacant smile. On Clarice's lap sat a squirming little herpicorn.
The assistant sighed and pointed at the trainee with what appeared to be a tiny pink hair brush, "Okay, no. This one is going through therapy and needs to be put back soon anyways. You go. You go now."
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 4:07 am
Clerise tilted her head, turning around to peek outside, craning her neck one way then another as she looked for the minipet lab's sign. How could she have missed such a glorious thing?!
She turned around to ask for further directions, but stopped dead in her tracks at the sight of a tiny...thing.
It was a tiny thing. It was itty bitty and completely fat, and Clerise let out a high pitched scream that lasted for a good ten seconds before scrambling to get closer, her hands slamming down on Clarice's desk as she peered at the little thing, face pressed to the surface.
"It's Clerise. People keep staring at me funny because my name sounds like yours-- oh my goddd it's so cuteeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
She shut her eyes and made an "eeeeee!" before regaining control of herself again. "What are they! They're! I can't, I don't--" Clerise giggled, reaching out to pet it just a tiny bit, if she could reach. "I want one! I want SEVEN. Show me more, do you have more, oh man this is great."
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 4:21 am
"Ohhhhh...Clerise. Yeah, H was able to break out his flexible innuendos when you got put in Life." The assistant rolled her eyes and resumed grooming the herpicorn. It made a happy little sound, and then wiggled it's butt as it saw it's new friend reaching out for it. "Oh yeah, if you're really into them s**t stop squirming...if you want to, you can do the cat circus trophy mission and get a hundred of them."
Clarice looked at the woman currently...sprawled on her desk, oh god please don't let H visit now please don't let him visit, and beamed at her encouragingly, "Minipets. You can has them. Of course they can't be out for too long otherwise they get all melty and die in a horrible and painful fashion, but still. You're totally welcome to them. Except this one."
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2012 5:17 am
Clerise physically recoiled at that. "Oh, ew." She made a face, sticking her tongue out. "I guess he did see my show. I was wondering and s**t." Crooooning at the stupid looking unicorn, she scritched under its little chin. "That guy managed to drink me under the table. Fuh real." She looked up at Clarice with big round eyes at the idea of a HUNDRED of them. "Ohmygod." She banged on the desk lightly, laughing-- it was a little terrifying, probably. Manic and maniacal both in one burst of emotion. Which soon turned sour. "MELTY? WHY? Are they made of like the biology version of marshmallow fluff?" She poked at the unicorn's fat little fatty fatty watty belly, cooing as it squirmed and made tiny cute noises. "Are you sure? Can I hold him?" Not like she was going to, you know. Run off with it or anything. {[ Deficient. And clinically insane, I'm sure. How did they even let you in? ]}
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Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2012 4:06 am
"Mmm, yeah. I'd recommend staying away from him while you're still all wide-eyed and vulnerable." Clarice's brush strokes grew slightly more purposeful as she began to style the herpicorn's mane. "So, nobody's give you the FEAR talk just yet? Basically this little guy," it wiggled and preened, "...is kind of like the monsters and shadow creatures you've seen. They're made of the same stuff, FEAR. I'm sure H gave you the whole predator, prey, hunter spiel, right? Minipets are just a smaller, less concentrated version of the things we fight, and not usually a threat to us." Heart-shaped eyes gazed adoringly up Clerise, as if to emphasize its lack of threat. At some point in her little lecture, the huntress had managed to style it's mane the same as her own hair.
"And no, I told you before, there's other..." the herpicorn had apparently had enough of all this grooming and chatter. Obviously it's new friend wanted to hug it and love it and play with it, so the rotund little unicorn squirmed out of Clarice's hands, and leapt at the red head. Okay, maybe it was less of a leap and more of a running bounce of sorts...
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Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2012 8:56 pm
"Hey!" Clerise said with a pout on her lips, toying with her lip ring in a mocking attempt to appear innocent. "I resent that implication! Vulnerable, ppshhhhhhhhawwww. Yeah ********' right." She didn't pick up on the fact that Clarice was calling her ignorant in the most polite of ways-- it soared right over her head. "Nope! Or if they did, I maybe spaced out?" A sheepish laugh, and the redhead tugged on one of the black ribbons holding her cone shaped buns in place. Clerise startled as she was informed that...well. These tiny things were made of the same things that had haunted her all her life? Of the same substance that their enemies were made of? "No ********' way," Clerise scoffed, brows knitted as she stared down at the little derp filled unicorn. "How can such itty bitty things be made of that s**t?" She crooned at it, and it came bounding to her-- she gleefully jumped up and down a bit, her heels clacking against the floor. Scooping up the fat little mini, she pressed a big fat kiss to its cheek, babytalking at it. "Other what?" she asked distractedly, tickling its little belly for a moment, causing the Herpicorn's nubby legs to go a kicking. So cute. She could not even deal. Not even.
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Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2012 7:56 pm
Rolling her eyes at the herpicorn's blatant disregard for her wishes, Clarice just sighed and continued, "There's other minipets for you to play with, okay? Like, an entire lab section is devoted to them. This one is just special, it's..." she paused for a moment and then continued carefully. "This one recently went through a fairly traumatic and dangerous situation, it's in the final stages of it's physical therapy, but I'd still like to be careful with it."
She glanced at the clock, "It's about time to go back anyway, you want to come with me to drop him off?"
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Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2012 9:20 pm
The unlikely pair ignored Clarice for a moment, pantomiming at each other, making equally stupid faces until Clerise burst into childish laughter, ruffling the beautifully done hair. "A whole lab," Clerise murmured with a happy sigh, squishing the herpicorn tightly at the thought.
God. So cute. Oh. Had...Clarice just said that she wanted to be careful with it? The it she had nearly popped like a tiny adorable balloon full of stupid?
WOOOOPPPSIES.
She picked the squirming minipet up, dropping his fat butt back on the desk.
"Sounds like a plan. I get lost easy anyways."
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Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2012 9:30 pm
The assistant didn't quite snatch the herpicorn up, but it was up and firmly held in her arms in a matter of moments. "Right, let's go. Don't want this guys to get all melty.." she paused and awkwardly tacked on, "...again." The minipet fussed and meeped as she got up to go. It wanted to play! It wanted to frolic in the flowers and stars and rainbows and oh wow Clarice's scarf was pretty and tasted delicious.
The blonde refrained from noticing this, as she really ******** loved this particular scarf and it wouldn't due to drop kick Harrison's ah...recovering minipet. "Since you're in Life you'll get minipet duty pretty often. Feeding them, playing with them, cleaning up their bizarre little poops. Capturing and training as well, it's what's considered a cake duty. But be careful about letting any escape, some hunters get really attached to their minipets and may cut you if harm comes to them."
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Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2012 9:52 pm
Letting out a gigglesnort, Clerise shook her head and decidednot to ask. The giggles turned into childish squeals as Clarice informed her of minipet duty.
"Oh my god, this is the best." She let out a happy sigh, stomping over to Clarice's door and flinging it open, holding it open for her fair lady.
"Come on! I want to SEEE them! The tiny blue ones with the feelers looked so ******** awesome on the screen. Are they all about ye' big?" she asked, pointing at the herpicorn. "Or do they get any bigger? Because if I can find one I can ride around all the time in the labs, it is happening. A thing that has never happened so hard in your whole life."
Her mind conveniently breezed over the 'bizarre little poops' portion of Clarice's dialog. It couldn't be THAT bad, right? Right.
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Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2012 10:47 pm
Something about minipets turned the trainee into the equivalent of a six year old girl at a pony festival. Clarice found herself looking forward to the other woman getting to see the creepy living dolls, tentacle things, and slimey whatevers. Though chances were she'd just go straight to the foxfires and just like...wallow in their fluffiness. Not that Clarice knew anything of such impulses or had ever indulged in them.
As she led the way, the assistant explained, "For the most part they don't get any larger than large dogs, but every once in awhile we get reports of massive mutant ones. You can go ahead and try riding one if you seriously want to try it," like one of those guys in the red hats on the tiny motorcycles, "...although a few may set you on fire for trying."
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Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2012 11:09 pm
There was a good possibility that even the non-fluffy minipets would induce a similar reaction in Clerise. If it could nearly fit in her pocket and be essentially harmless, there was a chance she'd think it was...well. Okay. Not ADORABLE, not like this shiny eyed little fatty, but still.
Creepy things sometimes were charming in their own way. If she could get along with a guy who had 95% of his body tattooed to look like a cat, with teeth modifications and whiskers to go along, a tiny weird thing wouldn't throw her off. Much.
"Oh wow," Clerise replied in awe, imagining a godzilla sized squid thing holding some ice cream, which was one of the minipets she'd printed out and shouted about. "I don't think I want to try if they don't get bigger than dogs. I'd feel bad if I uh. Squished one that belonged to someone."
It was a very real possibility, ok.
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Posted: Wed Feb 15, 2012 11:34 pm
She looked the other woman up and down and gave a small nod of agreement, around 5'10" of mostly muscle would probably squish a few of them. Maybe pop out a few eyes as well. Opening the door to the Petting Zoo, Clarice was about being explaining about proper equipment, feeding, and all such manner of things. Instead what she said was, <********>
The herpicorn took advantage of this and plopped out of her hands, running to frolic with the dozens of other herpicorns running around loose in the lab. "Quick close the goddamn door!"
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Posted: Fri Feb 17, 2012 11:59 pm
Clerise craned her neck to peer inside of the labs, SO ******** EXCITED-- only to be yelped at by a remarkably frantic Clarice. Rushing in, Clerise slammed the door behind her-- veryyyy narrowly missing a fluffy green thing that was hopping by her feet. "Sweet christ," Clerise murmured, scooping up the fluff, poking at it. "Clarice! Why are they all! Uh. Out?" Supposedly, they were all supposed to be in...cages? Or something? Maybe it was wild free open range day? But probably not, given Clarice's expression. Slowly, she waded through the mess, holding out the puffball in one hand. "Whuzziss?"
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