"Heidi Nowak, Death." Heidi blinked, looking surprised by the division she had been placed into. Death? How morbid! But what did it entail? Luckily it was explained before she even asked and she grinned with excitement, giggling as she hurried over to grab her coat and scarf. So cool! Oh wow! And her scarf was red! It was so pretty! It had been thrown around her neck immediately before she put on the coat with two crossed scythes and sat down again. A Death division trainee! That was so cool! And her leader seemed so nice! And what a lovely weapon he had. Would she get one like that? She wanted one like that. Something with a neat blade. Something badass.

She unfortunately learned that she could not have a FEAR weapon to bond with, but she did find a nice pair of runic daggers that she instantly fell in love with the moment she saw them. She had claimed them as her own forever with no chance of being talked into trading in for new ones unless those were completely destroyed. Heidi loved her daggers. In her hands they just felt right; she didn't need a fancy FEAR weapon with its charges and additional voices in her head, she was more than okay with these daggers.

She was an okay hunter. She did her work, she trained, she did her duties and she rised up through the ranks until she was a full-fledged hunter. It was no secret she was completely enamored with her leader but strictly in a professional admiration; she aspired to be as great as Liam Innis one day. It was a shame he and his son didn't seem to get along, he was such a great man. Her focus became a bit more..lackluster when she met a one Julio Perez. He was attractive and exotic, and he knew just what to say and just what to do to make her feel like she was the only woman in the world who mattered.

Heidi had never been a terribly sheltered woman but she was naïve and a hopeless romantic; she always dreamed of meeting her 'Prince Charming' and falling in love, and having someone who would love her as she loved him. It seemed Julio was that man. Though he was younger than her it didn't seem to matter, she loved him all the same. It began with simple flirting, his clever use of properly placed Spanish words and phrasing were enough to get her giggling and blushing like some teenaged schoolgirl. She did eventually work up the courage to reciprocate which seemed to please him, though she did often see him with other women she didn't like to think about it as anything more than Julio was the nicest man in the world. He was so sweet, so kind, so caring. It took some time but she did eventually trust him, and love him enough to seal the deal. She had made love with him, her first time ever doing something like that. It felt good, it felt right.

That was when things started to fall apart.

Em. Em was gorgeous, she was sweet, and everyone loved her.

Julio seemed to love her as well.

Wasn't..Julio her boyfriend? At first Heidi had thought it was nothing, just him being friendly...but...but it was more than that. They shared a wall between their rooms.

She could hear things.

"All you wanted was sex?!" Heidi finally cried, tears streaming down her face. She was enraged, never had she felt so betrayed. Julio's face was calm as he replied,

"Yes, pretty much." She couldn't believe what she was hearing. All those sweet things he had said to her. The nights they'd shared. It couldn't be true.

"But...but you...you said you like me!" It couldn't be true. No, not her Prince Charming.

"I do like you! But our lives are far too short-lived to deal with love." Wait. What. That was absurd! Heidi whimpered and ruffled her own hair, planting her feet firmly at a shoulder's width to keep herself from falling over with frustration.

"You made love to me!" How could that not be dealing with love? Julio frowned.

"As I have with others. Can you really blame me for wanting to indulge?" Yes. She could. But the implication he was getting at hurt. A lot.

"So I'm just a conquest to you?!" He frowned more.

"No? It's.. hard to explain. I simply enjoy indulging in these worldly pleasures while I'm still alive. It was good was it not?" Heidi's chest felt tight, like something heavy was sitting on it and she was finding it so hard to breathe.

"Well, yes but...I thought we had something..I don't know...special."

"Depends on what you consider special. I'm sorry if you thought otherwise but I really would rather not have to deal with losing a loved one in this crazy war we're in. Never know when the next day will be my last." Heidi felt sick to her stomach. Her voice was quiet, barely a whisper.

"I...guess you're right..."

After that it almost seemed as if Heidi had taken a complete 180 in her personality and lifestyle. What had once been a woman so full of life had quickly become in the span of just one year a serious, ice-like woman who was determined not to let herself become weak again. She was always chanting a mantra in her head: Don't lose focus.

She couldn't lose focus. She just couldn't. She would make up for the drop in her efficiencies, she would pull double duties, do all the missions she was offered, and she would do it well. Heidi quickly ate, slept and breathed being a hunter. It was all she was and all she would ever be. Perhaps one day she could even be Liam's assistant! The thought actually delighted and motivated her when she got to really thinking about it. She would do anything for any of the leaders whether they be of her division or not. The hunters were never wrong, and everything they did was right and just.

Sure, Heidi often forgot to eat and sleep because of her personal goals and mantras but...she thought she was happy.

She thought she was happy.

People would try to socialize with her, they would criticize her. Gabby often invited her to party-like events she would throw such as karaoke or simply watching a movie. Julio would try to warm her up again. Em would hug her, and while she did not blame the woman for what had happened she just...was not comfortable with the hugging. It wasn't just Em she disliked being hugged at all these days. She didn't want to risk falling in love or growing attached again. She couldn't do it.

But Em persisted...she painted her nails, her dirty, grimy nails. She hugged her, she told her she cared...she made Heidi feel like she was the most important woman in Em's world. It broke her heart. She had indeed chugged the entire bottle of bourbon that night, somehow managing to write out her report for Liam but never getting a chance to give it to him. If she had been able to get it to him would that have changed the outcome of their final mission? If she hadn't allowed herself to become unfocused, to give in to the old, familiar warmth of love and affection...would she have lived to see the year 2000? The 21st century?

They say your life flashes before your eyes as you die, but it wasn't true. To Heidi it moved in slow motion, each memory passing by as if it was happening right then and there. In the last few seconds of her life, those last few cognitive thoughts...Heidi was happy.

Heidi Nowak died alone, but not unloved.