Chunk by chunk Jess felt her body drifting away from her. She felt lighter. Higher. As though she were floating away even though what remained of her body was now falling back. Sinking to the bottom of the black abyss.
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Protect Liam.
It was all that she had left in this world anymore but now it seemed to matter less and less as her thoughts drifted. A good little soldier who was dying just as she lived. Hard, brutal but still with a song in her heart. She served her purpose as best she could.
It was too soon to start counting, let alone singing. But that didn't stop the haggard one-eyed man from singing loudly and off key. He held a mug high in the air as he repeatedly scolded all the new comers, herself included, to sing along.
"They're going to hear usss." She hissed in fear. Gaze timidly darting around the muddy battlefield while she hugged her gun that much tighter to her chest. This was her first real mission and she wasn't about to die because some old coot couldn't resist singing and drinking to the new year. Despite her protests though, he simply sung louder, harsher and one by one the others began joining in.
Her voice an annoyed utterance at first but then she heaved a soft sight of acceptance before going all out and belting alongside them, "For auuld lang syne, my dear." She had already missed out on most of the song.
"For aulllld laaaang synnne." She clearly got more into it as she grabbed the mug he offered and held it up to clank his.
Little did she realize yet, but this was a celebration of more than just a new year and possible resolutions for the next. It was a celebration of survival. They lived to fight another year and drank in honour of the ones who could not.
This was a lesson she learned with time. Losing many a friend or acquaintance over the years. Even when they do survive... they aren't always in one piece. It would have hardened her down to the bone if it wasn't for...
"Must you sing that damn song every year?" She playfully scolded as the man started up again. He softly elbowed her until she exaggeratedly rolled her eyes before falling right in line to sing along as loud and proud as she got away with.
With every passing year she found herself trusting the man more and more. She damn right looked up to him. He reminded her time and time again not to forget what it was to be human and that humanity is what separated us from them and yet unified us all as one.
Still, she could never call him less than 'Sir'. She was never fully his equal. Always below him, even if it were by a little imaginary line. Always placing him on a pedestal and refusing his best efforts to bring her up there with him.
This is why. She finally called him "Dave". As he was dying by her side, it occurred to her he never wanted to be above her. He wanted to be right beside her all along. She cursed herself for not having realized it before now, now when it was too late to even say the goodbye she wanted.
The only thing that could pry her from his chilling corpse was her sense of duty and the possibility that glazed over eye was still watching. Watching and waiting for her to do her job. To try and make his death and the deaths of those around them not in vain. He didn't die just so she could cry over his corpse.
She stood tall. She went to face her fate head on. He damn well better have appreciated the gesture.
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She hit the bottom of the darkness, her body rocking gently to the movement of the waters. There was not enough clinging to her remains to keep her body afloat anymore. It was here the soft distant sound of singing called out to her. Was this just another memory?... Did it even matter?...
Smiling softly, she closed her eyes. "Damn you Dave, don't make me sing along again."
But before he even tried to persuade her, she was already singing along.
"You'll neh-ever walk aloooone..."
