- Fedha lounged on a large rock, steel blue eyes focused on the sky. Many things had changed over the course of time, but that was how life went. The pride... the pride had changed. Many whispered that they were no longer sick, but the words seemed foreign to Fedha. What was this sickness they spoke of? She'd never witnessed another lion in their pride as being sick, unless it was for a brief time and there were clues of coughing and sneezing to point to this. The sickness they spoke of so softly was the sickness of minds, she knew this but could not accept it. Were they really all cured? No. No, she'd witnessed some lions who were too deeply stuck in their own worlds. And herself? She was depressed. So depressed, because she could no longer hear that faint and constant buzzing. Sometimes she convinced herself it was still their, visiting her briefly... but then all was quiet. The world seemed strange without the buzzing... but stranger still because she'd never found her muse.
Was she still allowed to search for it, was she able to do something like that in secret? A soft purr rumbled from her chest and she shut her eyes so she would no longer need to think such troubling thoughts. Life was hard enough as it was, always secluded and quiet... but she had no wish to bring herself into the social circles of the pride. They scared her quite a bit, not that anyone knew such information about her. In fact, she'd long since decided she was something of a ghost member. A member whom no one communicated with, a member whom no one even saw all that often. This was not the pride's fault, of course. This was something she'd chosen, something that felt natural and right her entire life.
But what was she supposed to do now? She was no longer able to meet her muse, now she had nothing. Though it'd been strange enough, going on for as long as she had without coming to figure out her muse. Maybe she'd just been broken from the start? A sigh trickled past her paw and her steely gaze opened again before she lifted her body and moved away from the rock. Her brothers and sisters, as far as she knew, had all found their muses. Was it just because she looked so different from them? But her mother constantly spoke of a father who looked just like Fedha. She was even named after him. Her mother also mentioned at times that her father was different, but the way she would utter the word would let anyone realize she meant crazy or maybe just not right.
Fedha never understood when others used the word crazy, especially when they used it for small things like an old lioness who had full conversations with herself, even speaking for whomever it was that wasn't there but then they also used the word to describe a lion who was unable to sleep and spoke often of night terrors and would switch from personality to personality, sometimes harsh and cruel and other times loving and kind. Weren't those two very different types of... what, crazy? She wondered if it even mattered about thinking these things any longer, or if this was the place for her. She had to think these things through, had to come to a decision by herself. It was sad there wasn't just some lion she could turn to and ask for advice. Ah, but there was that male, wasn't there? The one who lived near to the borders? Maybe she could speak to him.
- Days had come and gone, and the world remained the same. Each day was hot, few days contained rain, and all nights came alive with wonderful sounds of frogs and other wild animals. Sounds of the hunt and sounds of fleeing, any sort of sound really. Different parts of the day seemed magical to Tibua, as did different parts of the night. What it came down to in the end was if you were able to let yourself enjoy it or not, didn't it? Tibua often checked and double checked that he was having a wonderful, excellent time filled with magic and fun! Most of the time he was, too. Whether it was running into new prides, or discovering some bug he'd previously not known about.
He was friendly enough, but most often preferred staying with himself and speaking to himself, he found himself to be his favorite company. Another lion might laugh at him if he ever admitted such nonsense out loud, but he'd spent the most time with himself in life, hadn't he? It was only natural that he'd come to like being with just himself than strangers. It was always a struggle to get to know strangers, have to ask them their names and the sorts of things they liked. Very difficult indeed... and then there was the little habit of his. It wasn't his fault really, he never even realized he was doing it until after the fact... most strangers despised him once they realized what it was he was 'up to'. As if he could help such a thing!
His dark ears flicked against his skull just from thinking about such horrible accusations and he flashed his teeth at no one particular. "Life... is often difficult." He reminded himself firmly, then nodded and continued to move along his new area. Well, not really his area, but one he was interested in exploring. He was sure it was a pride, but as of right then he still hadn't worked up the courage to 'trespass' and no one had really been to the boarders. If they had, he hadn't seen them. He wasn't sure what any of that meant, but he found himself growing more and more curious of the area. That was when it happened; his light purple eyes met eyes the color of a stormy sky. It seemed like forever as they both stood there, staring at one another. But what was he supposed to do now? Somehow he felt as though his day had just gotten very interesting!
END
