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 Posted: Thu Dec 22, 2011 7:51 am
 The earth seemed warm, welcoming. It was embracing him, holding him. Yes, the earth cared for him. The earth cared, even if Ausi did not. Oh , how long had he been away from her? Why hadn't she come to find him? It was because she didn't give one lick about his whereabouts. This was the only answer his sick mind could come up with and make sense of. His silvery tail flicked and gave a thump to the ground as he took a deep breath, feeling sleepy. It was midday, which usually called for a nap. And the earth was warm, and he felt safe. Really, what would threaten a lion anyhow? He chuckled to himself as he lay near the bank of a small watering hole and thought about that. No, he suspected it was just a large, muddy puddle. He mumbled to himself as he dragged his gaze around the area once more, then shut his eyes. It wasn't long before his mind had slipped into slumber, able to sleep much easier these days. This was mostly due to the return of his visions, some of them. They certainly didn't come as frequently in dreams, nor was he able to distinguish the different between all of his seer dreams and all of his normal dreams any longer.
Today though, today he could feel the dreams. He could tell he wasn't fully asleep. Or maybe he was just going mad. There was a good chance he'd just made his entire life up in his head. He might be sitting back with his mother, brother and sister right now. No, he did not care much for those lions. No, he'd enjoy the feverish dreams as they slipped around uncomfortably inside his brain. It was so rare that he got a taste of their toxic nature any more, and he wanted that disgusting taste enveloping his tongue more than anything in this world, even more than having Ausi returning to him. It was an addiction, a sickness. But most without these special gifts would never be able to understand, and some who had the gift just refused to see it's goodness. That or they were weak and didn't get visions properly... was he weak now? No, no. No, he refused to be considered weak.
Sweet scents of grasses and water filled his head, and he could feel that breeze. It was like he was at the ocean, but also smack dab in the middle of the grassy plains. Both at once, such things were possible in dreams. The dream was strangely quiet, and not much seemed to be happening. But the day was colliding with night, and there in the sky were several moons.. no, just one moon. No moons? Too many moons... the dream was flickering back and forth, changing small details while the big picture stayed the same. The grass became water, became desert, became dry and barren. The sky was clear one moment and stormy the next... and then there, suddenly in the distance he saw her...
Fedha jerked up, panting and looking slightly panicked. His steely gaze flickered around the area he was in. How long had he been asleep? His heart hammered against his ribs in a most uncomfortable way, and he rose and began to pace in small, slow circles to try and calm himself down. What was she doing so close? His brain began to tick, to pry the sorts of thoughts that always lingered in the deepest, darkest parts of his mind. The sort of thoughts that told him he needed a better hold on the girl, he needed to begin his experiments... but all of that has slipped through his paws because of Ausi, hadn't it? His love or obsession for his mate...
He shook his head and suddenly began to move through the area, eyes almost having a delerious gleen to them as he searched. It meant she was close. It had to mean she was close. But how would she react to him this time? He had not seen her in so many moons... he'd been gone from her life longer than Ausi had fled from his. Shortly after she'd shacked up with that pathtic brother of his... yes. "Stupid, stupid Ivie... how dare you give yourself to such a weak... talentless b*****d.." He spoke softly to himself, chuckling when he was finished.
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Posted: Tue Dec 27, 2011 7:34 am
Where was that damned son of hers?!
Off galavanting with that chirpy female friend of his? That slave girl...what was her name again? Ivie'lingwa never could seem to remember it, but she'd recognise the female on sight if they crossed paths. Was the female not aware that Charon had a job to do? Ivie relied on him to get through the day. Because. without him she'd most likely wither away, unable to hunt, unable to socialise with anyone in fear of triggering another horrible, horrible vision. It had been so long now since she'd had one that sometimes she liked to think they had left her altogether.
Perhaps if she risked physical contact with another she could test out this theory. Maybe it would all pay off. Maybe there would be no more visions and she could be 'normal'. Perhaps she could hunt again, socialise again, get to help out more instead of huddling in her den, keeping out of everyone's way. Maybe then...
Oh, who was she kidding? She had been cursed since childhood with this filthy, rotten disease running through her veins. She'd never met anyone who had managed to free themselves of it and she never would. The only reason she'd not had a vision was because she hadn't touched any other living being since Charon, her son, had been very small. And he was a fully grown adult now and had been for some time. But it didn't matter how long it had been, it was something she did not get used to. She wanted nothing more than to be able to find someone to be with, even one of her lost children. Even one of her parents - if they still lived.
"Charon!" She hissed his name, determined to pull herself away from her miserable thoughts to at least focus on finding him. He had to be around here somewhere. But she was running out of land to look on and in a few moments more she'd be on rogue lands and that never brought any good to anyone.
Her body tingled, as if sensing someone close, and she paused, calling out to her son again. She did not expect him to answer.
She did not expect what was to happen next.
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Posted: Tue Dec 27, 2011 9:16 am
He suspected it would not really matter how she reacted to him, not that he'd taken the last few minutes to think on it. He would sway Ivie over to his charms, like he'd done so many times before. She would be willing to give him what he needed; attention. Though he'd hardly admitted it to himself, he was very lonely. All of these days spent moping about, barely able to hunt and not interested in communicating with others were finally sinking deep into his bones, and it hurt. He did not want to spend the last of his days alone, and if he continued to be alone surely it meant his time would be up soon. He had no drive for the longest time, had no reason to be alive. But if Ausi was truly gone and his children were all grown and worthless or missing... well, now he did have a reason to survive. He still wondered why this gift had been bestowed upon him, why only one of his eight cubs also had received it. He wanted to know more about others who had the gift, how it worked for them. There was so much knowledge to gain from others like himself... and yet what had he done? He'd ignored it all. He'd given up all of his curiosity for Ausi. No more, no more!
If Ausi wanted to leave him to die... or had it been he who'd left her so long ago? Yes, he'd just gone over this... Ausi did not care to find him. That was right, it was the only possible answer he had. But if she wanted to stay away for so long then he would start doing what he wanted... he did not want to die. Certainly death had never held any appeal, the mystery of it was not enough to merit his curiosity. That was right, he had things to do, to accomplish! And if he could find Ivie than surely he could start working on those goals!
His snow-tipped tail flicked once as his silver body shifted over the land, his gait slow and graceful. He would need something to say to her, something good. But what? What could possibly still pull at her heart strings after they'd been away for so long? He refused to believe she'd forgotten about him for even a moment... but there was a chance she'd finally become disinterested in him. There was always that chance, wasn't there? He'd especially lost a lot of faith in her devotion for him when she'd decided to spend time with his brother... but hadn't that been out of her obsession for him too? Fedha still did not realize how similar he and Ivie were, how sick the both of them were. Mostly it had to do with the fact that his obsession had returned his feelings truly in turn. At least, he was sure Ausi had loved him at some point. He could not be sure of that any longer... but who cared! Really, what was there truly to be sure about in this world?
Charon! His ears twitched and he froze, muscles stiff as he examined the landscape once more. Charon! Again the foreign name rang out, this time louder and closer. Fedha's heart quickened from the familiarity of that voice, though he hardly noticed. Yes, he knew she'd be close. He was pleased with himself, vastly pleased at knowing something so simple. He swallowed and moved forward, coming just over a slight rise in the terrain. It was then that his steely gaze focused on the lioness not far off; a pale green with white accents decorating her body, and just enough black here and there to stand out. She was... no, it was best not to relate physical attraction with this lioness. That wouldn't do, not at all.
Still trying to figure out how to play out this meeting, his paws were already carrying him toward her. It had been too long since he'd last seen the girl... even know he thought of Ivie as younger than she was. It had been so long... why did he feel nervous? Emotions that were easily ignored, at least.
"I can't-" He'd been meaning to be surprising and charming all at once, but his voice came out in something similar to a croak from all the time spent not using it and it caused him to slow and cough. This made him angry, but he had to hide that angry. "I can't say I've seen anyone by that name around here Ivie'lingwa, but I'm more than sure that my presence is a better gift." He purred out the words, full of himself. Yes, he'd just act nonchalant. He'd ignore all of the past years of pain and suffering he'd caused this female... he'd ignore it because he had to, because he liked to manipulate simple little Ivie and because...
... because he felt relieved to see her? Excited even? Oh, oh! Something was very, horribly and truly wrong!
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Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2012 10:10 am
Oh Ivie. Sweet, frightened little Ivie. She had loved that Fedha'kialio. Loved him with all her heart; desperately and obsessively. She had hated herself, hated her curse, hated how cruel life had been when she had done nothing deserving of such. And he, with his charms and his gentle smiles and promises had wooed her where no other had been able to. She had regarded him as a saviour, as her comforter and friend. And, of course, it had not taken her feelings long to develop and grow into love. But that particular love had been a destructive force and it had driven her to do things that would have shamed her family. Despicable, selfish things. And as time had passed and she had watched Fedha move away from her...loving another lioness, finding a new home...the jealousy had eaten away at her until it had turned all the love she held for him into this deep, immovable bitterness. She had wanted him so desperately that when she could not have him, her love had turned into hate...
And that hate had been left to fester for a long time now. It had dulled with time - as most things do - but it was there in the back of her mind. A dull ache always present. She dreamt of him often. Not visions - never visions - but the dreams sometimes felt like they might be real...or might have been real.
It would probably please Fedha to realise that the relationship between her and his brother, Dharba, had been a shortlived thing. For as much as they resembled one another, Dharba could never be Fedha and pretending that he was had only brought more pain and despair. They had gone their own ways shortly after taking leave of the Bahari'mtoto borders and she had not seen him since.
Sometimes, when she was in a better mood, she hoped that the father of her first litter had found happiness in the end. After all, he'd been the innocent victim in her schemes and she had used him knowingly.
Even still, the last thing she expected was to come face to face with the one she had so lusted after. The one who still haunted her. Her visions had never been well-controlled and hers were instigated by touch alone. Utterly useless, if she thought about it that way. Such a useless gift...and it ruined her life.
So, when she heard his voice, she at first thought it was a figment of her imagination. Her ear canted in the direction and her head snapped around accusingly. The dark green eyes narrowed with irritation, her mouth flying open to give some angry rebuke at the non-existent voice. That was when she saw him. Pale and silver, ghostly against the backdrop of that sky. She recognised him at once; all grace and beauty. Her heart stirred with conflicting emotions, so strong and passionate that for a moment she couldn't think, speak or even breathe. She stared at him, feeling the dust stirring to reveal the love beneath that she once held for him. And with that love came a fierce, horrible hate.
What was he doing here?!
She remembered to breathe at last, releasing it as an angry hiss. Her dark ears flicked back against the smooth fur on her head. "You." She snarled at him, the air on her neck bristling. "Get away from here. You are not welcome here!" Her head whipped around to try and locate her son - an effort made in vain.
Where was that damned boy!?
Her eyes leapt back to that pale face and she lowered her posture a little. "If you don't go. I'll kill you."
Would she? Well...she'd try, perhaps, but mad as she was, Ivie was no killer.
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Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2012 11:10 am
His stormy blue eyes seemed not to betray his shock, the utter surprise at the female before him snapping angrily. He was tired and hungry, his ribs were visible but he still managed to look somewhat presentable; somewhat handsome. He had no doubt in his mind that he was a very attractive male, with his silvery fur and his snowy white mane. He was no big or bulky, which sometimes put females off but his tongue was as silver as his fur, and he put it to good use to charm those around him. He knew his charm over other lions quickly faded, was replaced by a sudden and understandable hatred or loathing. It took a special kind of lion not to feel this sort of despising emotion toward Fedha-kialio, they were few and far between. He'd always seen Ivie as a lioness who'd be captivated by him forever. She was too deeply caught by his spell to ever hate him and yet... that 'greeting' said it all, hadn't it? He'd scorned her one too many times.
He'd paused where he was, not daring to come much closer to the female. He was most puzzled by how bothered he was at her unpleasant greeting. He'd broken his favorite toy, that was the only logical explanation he could come up with while he stood there, an unreadable expression on his features. He'd thrown her out one too many times to come and collect her again, hadn't he? He could change that.
He had to be able to change that attitude of hers. If he did not have Ausi, if he did not have Ivie... what did he have in his life? A brother and a sister whom were basically strangers... a whore of a mother who went around laying with men as she pleased. He was sure by now he had countless other siblings, who were even more of strangers to him than his litter mates. He'd long since forsaken his blood ties so he could create new ties to Ausi... but what good had that been? The cubs had made her happy. He must have been pleased at some point, to be able to have not just one disappointing litter... but two disappointing litters. Losers, each and every damn cub of his. Even the one that held his gift... what was he worth if he was missing? He'd forsaken Ausi too, he realized. But not Ivie, never Ivie. He'd grown attached to her in a way he'd yet to understand, different from how he was attached to Ausi... but it was still a foreign and queer feeling. Who else in this world was able to capture his interest for so long? Long enough that they'd both raised litters, litters that were full grown... long enough that he'd known her since they were both cubs. No one, no one in the world could do what Ivie had done.
Besides Ausi, of course. But right now he did not want to think of that wretched, beautiful female. She was gone. She didn't care. She no longer wanted him. And Ivie was the same... No, Fedha would not stand for any of this! His lip curled at the females empty thread, Ivie'lingwa did not scare him. To prove this he even moved again toward her, slowly this time. His eyes had never left hers, even when she'd looked about in what Fedha saw as a panicked manner. "You don't mean that, Ivie." He whispered softly, his face a mask of hurt from her words. "Though... though I do deserve such.. don't I?" He breathed out, and paused as he seemed to consider this. An idea struck him then though, a good one too.
"If only you could give me the sweet favor of death, Ivie." He practically purred these words out too. If she wasn't going to be completely taken in by his greeting, if she wanted to throw her new-found hatred in his face... he'd just have to play with that. As slow as he was moving he stumbled forward in what he believed to be a very convincing way. Hell, he was half-starved and needed more sleep, who was to say it was a planned stumble? He lay on the ground, sad and pathetic. "She left me Ivie. They all left me... All of these years... and I've finally got what I deserved, haven't I?" And at this a slow and painful laughter started to shake past his maw, after a moment it had grown into a full, almost hysterical laugh. Most lions would be able to hear how mad he was just from the laughter, but given the excuses he'd just made for little Ivie... who knew?
What struck him as funny though... was how true these words were. He was utterly and completely alone, and that scared him.
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Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2012 2:55 pm
The feelings surged within her, so desperate and conflicted that the rush of blood in her ears made his words sound muffled and distant. Her tail thrashed madly behind her as she watched him advance and she adjusted her posture so she was leaning back away from him, her chest so low it almost brushed the ground. There was a horrible, nauseating tightening in her throat, too, and she tried to swallow the sensation away, only to make it worse.
She was broken. She had been broken for a long time and yes, throughout her childhood and her early adult years it had been Fedha who had given her hope that she might someday improve in health. That she might be able to do away with her curse or perhaps control it so that she didn't have to fear being close to anyone ever again. But he had made his choice and broken her heart and time and time again she had been denied. Left out to rot and wither away under the sun whilst he found comfort in love and family - all the things she could never have and yearned for all the same.
Two litters she had had, but neither of them had been from love. The first time it had been done to decieve and win Fedha himself. The second time...she had been devastatingly lonely and talked into it by a male who had also a talent for smooth-talking the ladies. Her second litter had been taken away by that male, too.
In the end...everyone left.
Everyone except Charon but even he was gone, now, wasn't he!? Damn boy.
"I do!" She snapped, almost childlike in her insistence. "I do mean it." And then she clamped her jaw tight and took another step back, curling her claws into the earth beneath her as if to keep her from doing anything stupid. If was likely that she was too shocked and panicked to notice that Fedha was undernourished and weary. But she did notice the hurt on his face and the sight of it pulled at her heart with a terrible, horrible ache. She whimpered as if in pain and pawed at the grass in an attempt to ease it. Did he deserve it? Did he deserve to be killed?
No.
But he didn't deserve her. She knew that with a great certainty. She had loved him so much but that had only made things worse. Her love had destroyed her. If it wasn't for him, maybe...maybe...Maybe what, exactly? She would be all happy and singing and dancing right now? No. She'd still have the curse. Her life would still be awful.
But what was this? He wanted her to kill him? Were things so bad that he wanted to die? Her life was miserable, yes, but she still wanted to live. A miserable life was better than no life at all, wasn't it? The conflict threatened to engulf her and she felt as if she might choke on it. And he stumbled and she whimpered again, lowering herself until she lay on the ground. Her eyes were larger now and less suspicious but still her tail swished to and fro.
They had left him.
Just like she had been left.
A more audible cry passed through her lips to hear it and his laughter shook her to the bone. She turned her head away, squeezing her eyes closed. "I hate you." She hissed. "But...I won't kill you." A shaky sob broke free from her. "I hate you."
But in those words was something else. Something quite the opposite. Something perhaps more important: I love you.
But she did not make a move towards him, even though a part of her wanted to. If she moved to comfort him or touch him in any way, there was no saying what she might see and she did not want to see the pain he had been through. Ivie wasn't sure she'd be able to deal with his pains alongside hers.
"My son." She gasped, shaking. "I've got to go and find my son." Perhaps he would up and leave and she could go back to pretending this had never happened. "I'm in a pride now. You need to go."
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Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2012 3:53 pm
Even now he was hurting her, hurting her in only the way that he could. He alone was able to cause this much pain and suffering for the only lioness he'd ever considered something of a friend... but it didn't matter, he'd never been a good friend. He'd used her countless times, but he'd never ended up anywhere from that. What had he gained all of those years toying with her, leading her on? He gained the great satisfaction of breaking her heart. It hadn't been a clean break either, he knew the kind of heartbreak he'd caused her must have been horrible. He was sure her heart had shattered, was sure she still hadn't found every piece. For so long he'd been able to ignore those things, to pretend those sorts of things didn't matter. They didn't, no. He just needed someone right now. He couldn't be alone... he couldn't keep wandering for no reason, not when his gift was finally showing signs of fully returning! How he yearned for those vision-dreams, how he yearned to glimpse the uncertain future. Even the dreams he could not understand, had no clue where to start in interpreting them. Somehow Ivie was his answer, she had to be his answer. And he had to make this work, somehow. He needed to stop laughing, was what he needed. But it was all too funny, karma surely was a despicable friend.
I do mean it, he didn't blame her. How often had he slipped into thoughts of self-loathing? But always he was able to climb away from that, to realize his worth and how he was better than the moronic fools that roamed the lands with nothing in mind but the company of another for one night and to grow fat off the lands. They were lazy, insufferable fools. But what had he done? What had he done that was so great? Nothing, nothing! And it ate away at him so, some days he wondered if there was anything left of him. He was just a lonely loser roaming the plains too now, was he not? But he did not want that, he wanted his power. He wanted understanding. And accomplishments. Why had he let all of his goals go for one little lioness? Instantly he felt bile churn in his stomach, because for a moment he resented Ausi fully. But Ivie did not really hate him, he'd never let himself believe that. She was angry now, hurt. He could sway her over... as long as he kept telling himself, it would be true.
His laughing had died down and now he lay there quietly, staring at the dirt. Yes, play the part of a pathetic shell of a lion. Except, right then he felt as though he was playing the part too well. He shuddered when her voice tickled his ears again. She hated him, she hated him so! But he could hear even now how untrue that was... "If you hate me you should end it Ivie.." He moaned out. "No.. no I suppose only a friend would offer... such sweet freedom from such a terrible world. Once... once you called me a friend." He picked his head up slowly, to watch her. To gauge her reaction... to what exactly? He son! Why bring up some filthy son of hers! Jealousy flickered in the pit of his being, and he felt his hackles raise feebly. Was this one of Dharba's offspring? He was unaware of any other affairs Ivie had in the past, and it would be better for him if he remained ignorant. He dragged himself slightly toward her, but left enough space between them so she wouldn't have cause to think he was trying to touch her. "You'll leave me here then... you'll leave me to die... this is your hatred Ivie? To live me in the sun and die so slowly... dehydrated? Miserable? An admirable hatred, you have." He breathed the last words, sounding both miserable and impressed at the same time.
This would need work... and more importantly he needed to think! He was feeling things he should never have to feel, whether he considered Ivie something of a friend or not. Too long he'd remained in his solitude, he decided. "Your son.. your son, what does he look like Ivie?" And why was he so hot? Maybe he'd gone longer than he should have without water, maybe some of his words were ringing true. He was feeling the beginnings of a fever coming on, but that would not help him. No, he couldn't actually be weak here in front of Ivie. "A pride... a pride... it should be good for you then... you always deserved a pride... and a son.. Dharb's son?" He was mumbled slightly, feeling tired. He could not help himself when he asked of his brother's blood, though he did not like it. Ah, what was going on? He started to pull himself to his paws, feeling woozy and nauseous.
He was not in control of himself, that much he could understand. And it terrified him. He despised lacking control, it was a terrible feeling! "I... go... you want me... to go.." Ah, but why was it so hot? Had he over exerted himself in coming here? He'd been fine moments before! "Ivie... Ivie let me help you.." He whispered, suddenly sounding desperately insane. "Help you... you can help me... you need to .. help.." He needed to lay back down!
No, no. He needed to leave! This was a mistake, he had not given himself enough time to plan and to make sure of his success! "I'll go... I'll go.." He nodded and turned, suddenly falling to his side. This was not on purpose, as he'd liked to think his last stumble was. No, this was horrible. This was miserable and not okay, he needed to flee from this place and gather his wits so he could strike again... he panted as he lay there, his back to the female.
Yes, she would leave now. She would leave if she hated him. Like the gods had left him. Like his children had left him. Like Ausi had left him. Like his visions had left him...
Suddenly a terrible sound ripped from Fedha's throat, a sound of grief and pain, sadness. It was made even more horrible because it was Fedha, the lion who despised showing even the smallest sign of weakness towards others. But the fever he could feel building up even more now, the fever was ruining his carefully planned persona. And he could feel all too clearly how horrible everything in the world was right then, and even more... even more he thought he could understand some of Ivie's pain. He was not a compassionate soul, and to feel this... to understand the things he'd done to Ivie... no, none of this was right.
"Kill me..." He managed to groan out, and none of this even hinted at an act any longer. "Ivie you should kill me... someone should kill me.." And despite his best efforts, sobs started to wrack his malnourished frame. ((Well... that wasn't where I was expecting things to go O_O -coughs- oh how I've missed Ivie and Fedha XD and their mutual crazy.))
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Posted: Sun Jan 08, 2012 5:13 am
(sorry for the wait. I've had a hectic few days @_@ I have missed these two as well! So much fun~ )
Ivie couldn't quite believe what she was hearing and it hurt her inside. Put an ache in her chest that seemed to weigh her down and keep her rooted on the spot. He wanted to die? Could his life be so much worse than hers that he'd actually be considering it? What had happened to bring him so much sadness? Why was he alone? Did he not have family and friends? Did he have even less than she did?
"No." The word was spat at him. "I am not a killer. My life is hard enough as it is without you on my conscience as well." She tore her gaze away and looked out over at the horizon - at the unclaimed lands she had spent so much time wandering as a younger lioness. "I owe you nothing." She hardened her expression and tried her best to look untouched by his plea to end it and not to leave him suffering all alone. Her heart gave another pained twist and she let out a low grumble as if she were in some discomfort. And she was. This was not a situation she wanted to be in. Besides, killing him would mean touching him and that would mean visions and she didn't want to see him. In fact the very thought of it frightened her down to the core. What he had experienced seemed...awful and she couldn't bear that burden. She knew she could not.
Ivie kept the distance between them, pointedly looking away. Her body was tense but she also didn't move away. She seemed frozen, stuck between her head and her heart, except at that moment she wasn't sure what side was winning.
He was asking about her son now and she pictured Charon clearly in her mind. A good boy, he was, when he was around! But where was he now? Should he not be here to help his poor mother? Was that not what he was for? "He...looks much like his father. Though...he does have some of my markings." Enough to see their relation, anyway, even if his pelt was blue-grey. And then Fedha was saying...nice things. She had deserved a pride? Had she, though? Had she deserved any kindness at all? For what was she? A mad, cursed thing all bitter and angry and afraid. At the mention of Dharba, though, her body visibly flinched, her lip curling in distaste. She had tried not to think of the grey lion since they had parted ways. "No. Not Dharba's." She shook her head. "We...were not meant to be." And that was putting it kindly.
She turned to look at him again when he started to move and forced herself to be a little stronger on her paws, eyeing him with a mix of concern and suspicion. "Fedha?" He was not himself, of that he was certain. He had many hurts. He was broken. Just as she was. And that, most likely, was not a good mix. And then he was muttering, or pleading, and she took a shaky step back, not knowing what to do. Could she really turn and go home knowing how desperately in need he was? Fedha was good at deceiving but was he this good? She didn't think anyone would be able to fake this.
"I--" She swallowed nervously. "You--" But the words wouldn't come out and his cry of grief and pain startled her. The fur on her neck and shoulders stood bolt upright.
And then the tears came forth from her own eyes to see him like that. To her, Fedha had always been strong and charming. He had been her hope for the future. Her joy. Her heart. She had always depended on him because he had been able to live with his curse and control it and continue on without fear. She had looked up to him with absolute respect and though this had become rather obsessive with time, she never imagined to see him worse off than she.
Did she hate him? Most certainly. Did she love him? ...Yes. Yes she did. And could she leave him all alone out here? No. She couldn't.
"I'm not going to kill you, Fedha, even if you do deserve it. We only get one chance to live our miserable lives." She stepped up close to him now until she was but a stride away. She shook as she did so and hovered hesitantly. "Fedha..." Her voice was softer now. "Come back to the pride with me. I'll...I'll speak with someone about you staying temporarily...or something." Was that even allowed? She couldn't remember if they'd ever had temporary visitors before. "Can you walk? Should I...get my son?"
Charon might be able to offer some support to him, but she wasn't sure where the boy was. He might not turn up for hours and the thought of leaving Fedha here that long...it wouldn't be good for his health.
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Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 6:44 am
He could almost taste the shock of Ivie when he suddenly started to have his little breakdown. Somewhere in the back of his mind he took this information, stored the information. But his more immediate response was broken, twisted laughter that laced the tears and moans. He sounded completely mad, there would never be a lion or other creature that could look upon him in this moment and think anything else of it. They would have to... well they would have to be mad to see this for anything beside it was! The thought brought about more laughter, Fedha could appreciate the humor in the thought. "Yes, yes! I deserve it!" He crooned out, trying to persuade her that it was right and kind and she'd be doing him a favor!
... Maybe that was why she wanted no part of it.
If they only had one chance to live their miserable lives, and indeed his was very miserable, than the gods were cruel. Fedha deserved death, the world deserved peace and quiet and salvation from his presence. But Ivie would not reward him with the sweet taste of death, nor was he brave enough to let himself go. So he would continue living, reminding himself of his miserable past indeed. Perhaps Ivie was crueler than he ever imagined her possible. Perhaps she had come to the same realization he had; living was much more miserable than the sweet release of death. His sobbing had calmed somewhat, though his body still shook occasionally and his gaze seemed far off as he lay there.
Vaguely he'd heard her say something about coming back to her pride with him. He moaned when he heard that, something close to a laugh slipping past his maw. It was only now... now that he did not care... that she would have him closer to her side? Surely the gods jested often when it came to his life, jested almost constantly. He lay there for what seemed a long time, not saying anything. Even at her second question he said nothing... because what was the point?
But if she would not kill him, and he would not kill himself... he could not live a pointless life, could he? That was not a life worth living at all. But he could think of no vague semblance of a point, even. "I can walk." He breathed the words out, confused. He'd wanted this so badly not even hours before, and what now? He felt drained, that was all.
He'd somehow managed to get himself back to all four paws, swaying slightly as his dark blue gaze finally landed on the pale green lioness. "We should go... we should go from here..." He whispered, sounding crazed still. Surely it was the land's fault that this weakness had overtaken his mind... was it not?
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Posted: Sun Mar 04, 2012 10:25 am
"Good. Good." She breathed. For she could not - would not - touch him for fear of what she might see. Ivie felt mad enough as it was already without his own madness affecting her mind. She couldn't let him destroy her again. Could not let history repeat itself.
But even as she stood and watched him struggle to his paws, she could not help but think that it already was. She was going to stand by and let him walk back into her life and the emotions he brought with him would burst into a thousand maddening colours. She'd be consumed by him as she once had, reliant and dependant on his knowledge.
But this time it was he who needed the help. Not her.
This struck such a chord of irony that despite the situation she smiled to herself, an odd light in her eyes at the realisation of it. "Yes. Let's go. Let's get you to the lands." She'd speak with one of the rulers of the pride and see if it was okay for him to stay until he was well again to go on his way. The sooner he healed and got back onto the road the better.
Although, somehow, the thought of him walking back out of her life was miserable, too. "Follow me." Ivie continued. "I will lead us there. It is not far."
Life had never been simple and from here on in, it was likely to get more complicated than ever before.
/fin
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