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Vanessa was pleased with herself. Also, she was pleased with Kam. But especially with herself.

There was a complacent smile on her pretty face, and the heated remnants of a flush lingered still under her skin. She felt at peace with the world; centred, somehow, in a way that she couldn't recall ever feeling before. Being with Kam like this was as easy as breathing. She was comfortable in his arms, and addicted to his kisses.

Nothing made anymore sense than it had that morning, but that was okay.

Because she had this.

And Kam's shirt. It was too big for her, and fell someplace reasonably around the top of her thigh. When Vanessa lived at home Mr. Rae wouldn't have let her leave the house in a dress of the same length. But she was in her apartment, with Kam, and suddenly proud of her legs.

Growing up, they were thin and gangly. Vanessa often stumbled, and Aunty Marianne liked comparing her to a young horse.

Now?

They were long, and strong, and graceful.

"Did you know…" Vanessa trailed off so that she could chew, and then swallow. The piece of pizza she held was extra cheesy. It took a moment. She crossed her legs, and relaxed onto the couch beside Kam. "…that my mother was a dancer? I took a couple of lessons when I was a kid."

There were only two lights on in the room. One above the stove. The other came from the television where Christian Bale, dressed up as Batman, was currently being taunted by Heath Ledger.

Kam's casual disinterest didn't bother Vanessa, who wasn't sure why she'd brought up her mother in the first place. She couldn't fault him for his investment in the pizza, or the movie, and smiled to see him enjoying himself. This was, after all, what she'd invited him over for in the first place.

"Yeah," she said, laughing softly because he was so obviously enamoured of his food, and finished off the last bit of her crust. "I wasn't any good, though. Tutus aren't really my style."

Because, once upon a time, Mrs. Rae was a ballerina, who'd wished that her daughter could enjoy dance as much as she did. Vanessa always had an awful temper, and threw countless tantrums in protestation of itchy tights and pointy hairpins. She'd preferred playing in the mud and sliding into third-base. Eventually her parents gave up, and permitted Vanessa to quit.

It was something that, ever since Mrs. Rae's death, Vanessa had privately regretted.

Suddenly pensive, glad of Kam's company, Vanessa wiped her greasy hands on a towel that she'd brought from the kitchen and offered it to Kam. She shifted on the couch, curling her legs so that she could sit on her feet, and then rested with her head on his shoulder. A thoughtful sigh whispered past her lips.

"Do you think Batman could kill a youma?"

There was something surreal about watching movies with superheroes. For the first time ever, Vanessa wondered if there were any Senshi outside of Destiny City.

Kam's question caught her off guard. There was a split second where she wondered what the hell he was talking about, but it was fleeting. Vanessa had been in many scraps in her lifetime, with both people and inanimate objects. She'd fallen downstairs and scraped her knees. The evidence of each of these insignificant trials existed still in her skin. But most of those scars had faded, and were barely noticeable now.

He could only be interested in one of them.

"Oh," Vanessa, remembering the way his kisses had faltered earlier over the same issue, straightened up. Suddenly self-conscious, she pressed a hand to her chest. The touch was delicate. "I…"

Except for Kam, only Ricky had seen the jagged horror of the crescent moon that Tanzanite had carved into her skin. And the second man hadn't known enough (or been curious enough) to ask about it. What could she say?

The truth, of course.

Vanessa wouldn't lie to Kam again. It was just complicated. She was ashamed of what the Blood Moon Court had done. Compared to the cruelty that Tanzanite had suffered at the hands of Ares, and Nemesis, and Gunn, the scar Vulcan bore was nothing. It was a part of the price she'd had to pay, for the things that she'd let happen.

And Tanzanite, truly, had been merciful.

But Vanessa couldn't expect Kam to understand that.

After a long moment, she turned her bright eyes towards his dark ones, and tried to tell him. She shifted on the couch again, so that they were face to face, and lifted her hand to his bare shoulder. Vanessa bit her lip, averted her gaze, and traced one of the dark lines of his tattoo with her fingertips.

"I deserved it, Kam."

There was a tremble on Vanessa's voice. This was hard for her.

It was moments like this that made it impossible for Vanessa to believe Kam was anything other than wonderful. She was tense at first, surprised to find herself so suddenly in his embrace, and almost protested. They were venturing into hostile territory; heading towards things that she had only ever explored with fists, and agony, and rage. Vulcan had cried, when Tanzanite's claws rent through her skin, but that wasn't the same as this.

Kam cared for her.

It took a second before Vanessa relaxed into Kam's warmth, and allowed him to hold her. She blinked rapidly, overcome with an emotion that she didn't know how to express, and listened to the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.

Her own heart ached, but the sound of his was reassuring. It calmed her.

"They were tortured, Kam."

At last, a whisper. The things she said wouldn't make sense without more of the story, but Vanessa wasn't sure where to begin. She struggled within herself for the words. Vulcan and Gehenna hadn't done a whole lot of talking. When they weren't fighting youma they were wrapped up somewhere convenient in each other. She didn't know how long Kam had been fighting the Negaverse, or what he had heard about the Blood Moon Court.

If he knew anything at all.

"I didn't…" Vanessa tried, and failed, and tried again, "They screamed. I was there."

She shivered, and was comforted by his strength.

"But I wasn't one of them."

Such was Vanessa's compassionate loathing of the things the BMC had done. It would have been better, being captive and at the mercy of her fellow senshi than listening through the door while the enemy suffered. She took a deep breath, and continued with her story as steadily as she could manage.

"Tanzanite cut me because I stood by and let Ares turn her into a monster."

Something caught in her throat, and suddenly Vanessa couldn't speak anymore.

There was a strange sort of power in Kam's embrace. It was different from Vulcan's magic, but still very real. It should haven been impossible, to feel so safe and so vulnerable at once. But it wasn't impossible, and Vanessa liked it when those strong arms tightened around her. She melted into the breadth of his chest with a soft sigh.

He didn't know what she was talking about. She wasn't being clear.

Vanessa was silent for a time after Kam's questions, thinking about the things he was asking her to tell him. This was a story that she had never shared with anyone before, and a chapter of her life that she'd been trying to run away from ever since. Facing it now was painful, but rendered possible by the way that Kam held her.

She had never needed to borrow strength from somebody else before.

But, when Vanessa opened her mouth and tried to explain everything so that it would make sense, she was dependant on Kam to carry her through this. And hoped, desperately, that he wouldn't turn away from her once he'd heard the truth.

"I was…" Vanessa hesitated, took a deep breath, and then continued in a whisper, "or maybe I still am… a member of the Blood Moon Court. Ares was my leader."

And then she told him all that she could, as coherently as possible. Sometimes her voice was steady. At other points it wavered. Vanessa told Kam about who Ares was, and about all of the things Vanessa had naively believed the Blood Moon Court represented. Flushed with shame, blinking back tears, Vanessa told Kam about the way she, as Vulcan, had aided in the kidnapping of Negaverse agents and then listened through closed doors as they were subjected to the horror of Ares's terrible ambition.

"When Tanzanite cut me…"

Vanessa fell silent. For a moment, it looked like she wouldn't continue at all. And then she was trembling, and wiping stubbornly at the quiet tears that had started to pour down her cheeks. Several of them leaked onto Kam's bare chest.

"I wanted her to do it, Kam."

The movie was over. The ending credits had rolled through at the beginning of Vanessa's tale. Across the television screen there shone the root menu of the The Dark Knight. It bathed Vanessa and Kam in an eerie light; illuminating the tears that streaked down her cheeks, as well as the the blankness of his expression. Cradled as she was against his chest, Vanessa couldn't see the look on Kam's face and found such comfort in his closeness.

It meant a lot, that he claimed to understand. That he was willing to share in her suffering.

Her heart, raw from the emotion of the things that she'd revealed, swelled with affection. Vanessa felt as though she could have stayed in those arms forever.

But that was impossible.

Because the world didn't work that way, and Kam was letting her go by forcing her to sit up. His dark gaze was at once piercing and powerful. It cast a spell that made Vanessa's breath catch in her throat. Biting her lip, marvelling at the way her skin tingled where Kam touched her, Vanessa shifted on his lap so that she was hugging his hips with her knees.

Kam's words moved her to more silence, and provoked thought. Her heart thundered under his palm. Vanessa was gentle when she lifted her hands to Kam's shoulders, and used his superior weight to pull herself closer. Flushing sweetly, cheeks still marked by her tears, Vanessa slipped her arms around Kam's neck and then pressed their foreheads together.

"… you have scars?"

Her voice was a murmur.

Yes, she could feel that.

Since the first day that they'd met, when Kam had peeled off his shirt to put out a fire that she'd started, Vanessa had been fascinated by the intricate details of his tattoos. She'd asked him all sorts of questions about them, and was floored now to discover what they hid. Her touch was feather light where it played over his skin. Vanessa was gentle, but not shy, and explored Kam's scars with a quiet wonder.

She wanted to know where they had come from, and why he had taken pains to cover them up.

Vanessa breathed softly, suspected that their story was a tragic one, and then returned her hand to Kam's neck. She held onto him like that, thumbs fluttering tenderly over the places where his pulse beat underneath his skin, and then tilted his lips towards hers. This kiss was sweet, and slow, and supposed to be reassuring.

'I want you,' it said, 'and I care.'

Intimacy of this sort was also new to Vanessa, who had never been quite so close to another person before. Gehenna and Vulcan had fun together, but one of them (usually Gehenna) had almost always left before things could get too personal. Being with Kam felt natural to her-- easy in a way that few other things could be. They had been best friends and confidants for months. Tonight, they had become lovers. It didn't need to be any more complicated than that.

When she pulled away, a couple of heartbeats later, Vanessa had to swallow to find her voice.

"What happened?"

It was a question and, therefore, a request. Not a demand. Vanessa wanted to know how he had gotten all of those scars, because she cared about him, but would not take it personally if Kam simply coudn't tell her. She understood what it was, to keep things bottled up inside, and how difficult it could be to reveal them. Evidence of her own inner struggles stained her cheeks and his chest still.

She pressed their foreheads together once more, and waited.

He didn't have to say it.

Vanessa already knew the rest of the story. Not because she'd heard it before, but because there could only be one ending. The whole time that she had known him, Kam had never breathed a word about his mother or his father. He'd spoken only of Khetal, until this moment.

And now she understood why.

Those beautiful tattoos hid a tragic secret, and memories so agonizing that Kam could not bring himself to tell her everything. Vanessa could feel how hard this was for him. She was aware of those bulging muscles, and of the horror that she'd asked him to relive. Her heart bled for him, and she wished suddenly fiercely that she hadn't asked about those scars.

Because it hurt him.

Vanessa had never been especially useful when it came to consoling words, and lacked the necessary vocabulary to help make this right. She thought that it was incredibly brave of Kam, to have shielded Khetal the way that he had. Vanessa opened her mouth, perhaps with the intention of telling him so, but whatever she was about to say vanished when he pulled her closer. There was a profound ache in her abdomen. Something inside of Vanessa broke, and it was all she could do to hold on; to offer him support and strength the way that she knew how to give it. Her breath hitched.

Vanessa could not possibly have been more tender, when she twined her fingers in the dreadlocks at the back of his head, and tilted his handsome face towards hers.

'I know it hurts,' said those hands.

She peppered sweet kisses from Kam's forehead to Kam's cheeks to Kam's mouth.

And those lips said, 'you don't have to tell me any more.'

If only she could have, Vanessa would have robbed Kam of all his pain and taken it unto herself.

‘I’m here,’ said those legs where they hugged his hips, and his waist, 'I’ve got you.’