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It may only be early December, but several homes and businesses around Destiny City were already decorating for the Christmas season. Super Sailor Pasiphae much preferred being out at night now, despite the winter cold. In the summer there had been nothing but darkness, maybe a bit of a glow from the moon or a streetlamp, if she was lucky. Now, however, as she traveled on one of her short patrols, nearly everywhere she went she was greeted with brightly colored lights and cheerful, holiday hues that put a smile on her face, despite the seriousness of her duty. Like many, the dark-haired teen could be swept away by holiday spirit; everything seemed just a little brighter, a little bit better, at Christmas.

Perhaps that was why she half-sung a carol under her breath as she jumped from rooftop to rooftop, her alto voice softly hanging in the air, "On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me..."

Pasiphae had just landed on the building when the siren response to her singing came, and it was a good thing she had not been in the air--the shock of hearing it and feeling the energy across the street would have been enough of a distraction to cause her to blunder the move! She wasted no time in bridging the distance between them, leaping to where she had heard the song eminating from.

It was only on arrival that she fully recognized the Corrupted Senshi, as close proximity revealed features that the multi-colored lights had not managed to highlight in the dark... most especially the holes in head and heart that had so pained her when she first viewed them. "Carnelian," she gasped in genuine surprise, making no move to attack or even to get within striking distance.

"Not at night, no," Pasiphae answered quietly, not exactly sure how to proceed in this situation. Now, perhaps more than ever, the Shame Senshi was aware of the dangers that her enemies provided. Yet, Carnelian reminded her less of the general who tore off people's heads or the girl who mocked her while harming others and more of Benoitite--dangerous, without question, but more approachable... more obviously human. And perhaps it was the parallels between the two that led her to fall back on the honesty which had never failed her in the past. She had already lost any chance of saving the painbrush-wielding captain, but perhaps hope was not lost here. "Nowhere that I would go is open this late... but I will be shopping for gifts soon enough. I am just out for patrol."

She wrapped her arms across her chest to combat the chill of the winter night, but she was not outright shuddering, at least not yet. She had not thought to bring a coat for such a short jaunt, especially when moving around generated heat. The teenager was not the best when it came to conversation, and she was certain it showed as she tried to fill the silence. Should she ask what he was doing? If she did... would she be able to live with what she heard? Eventually she settled for asking what seemed like the most neutral conversation topic, "And... I've been looking at the lights, the decorations. Aren't they pretty?"

"Nothing but you," the Senshi answered lightly, half-smiling despite the tenseness of the situation. She meant neither to offend nor to compliment--it was just fact. And, if Carnelian was not going to agitate the situation, neither would she. Especially around the holidays.

"I like the holidays as well... though they can be a bit stressful." Pasiphae began to rub her arms even on the areas covered with her gloves, but although her words could possibly be seen as complaints, the tone was soft and positive. "So much food to cook and distribute... so many charities to work with... parties of various types to attend. It can be a little overwhelming. But... all for the better, I think."

"Have I been good?" She repeated softly, actually considering the question. Her Christmas cheer seemed to evaporate, and she rubbed her arms with now shaking hands. She had been excited by the Christmas lights, by the holiday season, but standing here now, feeling Carnelian's dark aura so close... and being questioned as to her intentions? It brought up too many things she would rather have remained buried, however shallowly, in her mind.

"There are things I can't forget. Like the attack the Negaverse led on the hall. They were disguised as Senshi... told their victims that they were Senshi before striking them down. The leader... she tore the speaker's head off... I..." Pasiphae choked, slamming her eyes shut against the rising images. It was too much, even now, for her to think on too long. She bit her lip, brushing at her eyes to keep tears from appearing. She cried too much; she needed to stop. It was a burden on her friends, and it was nothing but added weakness to her enemies. It took her a few moments to regain her composure, and when she did begin speaking again her voice was shaky. "All I could do in the end was save a few whenever the hall went down in flames. Then I fought in the Surrounding... watched so many get hurt, disappear, be corrupted... although at least they all live. I try to be good, Carnelian... but when I fail to protect and to save people... when there are so many deaths, so much loss..."

Now tears did appear as she turned to face him, the cold wind stinging her cheeks as she told him with a sad smile, "And the worst part... is knowing that there are people out there who fear me, who wouldn't believe me if I told them I wanted to help them. No more than you believe me."

"The moon?" Pasiphae repeated stupidly, momentarily confused at the Corrupted Senshi's choice of words. How did he even know that she had been to her moon? Then it dawned on her that he was talking about the sole moon of Earth, the one where the supposed Princess was. A princess that she had never seen, knew nothing about, and did not follow. The only princess she knew was Chronos, and although Pasiphae was beyond grateful to the powerful Senshi for what she had done, she did not follow her. When she figured it out she scoffed softly, kicking some of the snow off of the roof. "How could the moon abandon me, when it did nothing for me to begin with?"

The words were somewhat bitter, not because the Shame Senshi disbelieved in her cause, but because of what she had seen. His words angered her beneath the pain, and it was all she could do to keep her voice from shaking. It wasn't Carnelian's fault, but it was the fault of those just like him. Those tinged with Chaos. They had descended on the innocents of this city, the civilians in the Surrounding... they had even taken the Senshi in front of her, although he didn't know it. She did not expect comfort from him, but to say such things about those who had been nothing but kind to her? She didn't address his accusations at all. He would not convince her that her side was wrong. She would not convince him that his side was wrong. She could deny his statements with all of the breath in her body, and it ultimately would mean nothing.

All of the Senshi and Knights that she had worked with came to mind immediately, how they helped her when she didn't deserve it, when she couldn't give anything of real value in return. The Jovians and Harper stood out most of all, and their absence caused her to whisper unevenly, "I'm... I'm not alone. I have support. I do. People who... have saved my life. People I can't live without. Even if... I can give them so little."

Where had the Christmas spirit gone? She had set off with such hope, such joy, just wanting to lift her mood and now... she was keeping her eyes downcast as she tried to stop the gnawing doubts and fears. She should just stop talking and retreat. Her brief flare of anger had consumed what life she had left.

Green eyes flashed in her vision just long enough to convince the girl to keep her gaze downcast, and she whispered, truthfully, "I'm not... I'm not crying." Anymore, as she had clearly been crying ealier. She wanted to cry again, but she had already told herself she needed to stop. And now the Corrupted Senshi before her was speaking so seriously, saying things... things she wasn't ready to hear.

The very fact that he was making the offer meant that he must think she would take it. There was something wrong with her, something broken, something... something not strong enough, not good enough, not pure enough to be aligned with Order. The thought made her stomach churn, and the thought of a forced Corruption did even more so. All she could think of was Ares, dark and dangerous and... so close. She had taken whoever she wanted, and Pasiphae had been unable to do anything. Carnelian might not force her... but someone would. Someone could. There would be nothing she could do to stop it--

But, for now? For now she had a choice, and it spoke to the Corrupted Senshi's charm and effective wheedling that it took her as long as she did to respond. Several minutes passed as she thought of all she had seen, all she had experienced, and something just... clenched inside of her. Pasiphae knew that there was only one way for her to respond to his offer.

"No." The word rang loud and clear in the distance between them, even as the newly upgraded Super Senshi turned to observe the festive decorations once more. Her gloved hands shook at her sides, but she used the lights to steady herself as she continued to address him, "They won't leave me. I won't... I won't have to be alone anymore. I don't deserve them, and I'm... I'm not sure why they care about me, but they care. And... I care about them."

Pasiphae sucked in a breath and released it in a puff of steam, and for the kindness Carnelian had shown, she was kind in turn, "I know... I know you mean well in your offer. I know that you have the power to force me. So... please believe me... when I say thank you. For being willing to accept me. For giving me the choice. But I... I will not turn to the darkness, Carnelian. I can't."

Pasiphae stood quietly for a few moments, allowing what Carnelian said to hit her tired, frantic mind. Why call it the dark? Why call it Chaos? Because... that's what it was, wasn't it? The Dark Moon Court--corrupted, former champions of Order. Dark. Black and gray on Corrupted Senshi where there should be white. Dark. Death and fear on Senshi and civilians alike. Dark. Chaos simply... was. It was a force that she did not understand--which could be said of Order too, except that she believed in Order. Her distress could be seen as she picked at the lace detailing of her long gloves. That issue she could not address. His other sentiments she could agree with--to a point. "I call it those things because that is what others call them... people who have been fighting much longer than me. Neither side may be pure good or pure evil, but...aside from you? I've not found much of anything 'good' in your faction."

The words, meant as a compliment to her current companion, sounded much more like an insult to her ears than she had intended. The Super Senshi thought about qualifying it with examples of evil from her own group... but she didn't. He would know them better than her. In their last conversation she had not believed there to be any. Kallichore's description of the Blood Moon Court, and their fall into Chaos? It was a strong enough idea to change her mind, even if she was certain they were the exception rather than the rule. It was easier just to move on to the next topic he brought up.

"There is no home for me in space," she stated firmly, half-turning to face him again in hopes of showing her sincerity. Why it even mattered to her that he think her sincere was a different question entirely, one that she did not want to address. She didn't want to admit that even after all she had experienced, all she had seen, she had not given up on him. She had not given up the hope that, someday, the first Corrupted Senshi she had ever met, the one that stood before her, would be saved. She would not force him anymore than he would force her, but the hope? The hope lingered, and the hope made her answer him seriously and honestly... if discretely, to avoid giving away information that could potentially be used against her or her allies. "I was born here, on Earth, and whatever... connection I have to that moon is a mystery even to me. If it were that easy... if I knew that leaving this place, leaving my family, my friends, my home would mean peace..."

Pasiphae swallowed back the lump that had gathered in her throat. She did not tell him of her visit to her moon. She did not mention that there had been a hunk of statue, one that had compelled her to dig it out of the pink dust, but the Shame Senshi did not consider it a lie to omit these detail. He had mentioned a home. There was none, no matter what else she found. The peace that both of them seemed to long for was not waiting for either of them in space. This knowledge thickened her voice as she finished her thought, "Carnelian, if I knew it meant no one else would suffer, I'd leave. But I don't know--and I don't think--that leaving would end it. If I did... I wouldn't be here talking to you now."