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 Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 7:39 pm
"So, what did you want to talk about?" I asked my attorney, Santa, who called me out to a small bistro in Durem. "A mistake from my past is coming to haunt me, and I want you to lend me a hand" he said, with worry in his eyes. "Santa, I've known you for quite some time. There's too many to recall. Care to refresh?" "Remember that one attorney I was going to team up-" "OH I REMEMBER" I shouted. "The one you blasted with the pie gun after he showed you his idea for a commercial!" "YES as a matter of fact it is. The problem, though, is that he's decided to ban all sugary treats. As your attorney, I know you, and knowing you, I know that you love sugary treats more than anything else" he said. "That... that... b*****d. Well what do you want to do?" I asked. "I know what to do. You and me, we're getting a fast car with no top, a suitcase full of sugary treats, and we're going on a little trip to Gambino to get this man. I heard he's staked out in a casino."
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Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 7:46 pm
"Oh, and as your attorney, I get to come with you" Santa yelled just as I was finishing up my pie.
As we walked out of the restaurant, a metal fellow appeared from behind. "Forget something?" He bleeped at me, pointing at our bill. After a second staring at him with a mocking expression, I began walking out when -BAM! Suddenly, nine more of the little creeps were staring me dead on.
"Listen up iTurds, if you don't step out of the way, I have enough for all of you" I said, pointing at the loaded gun resting at my hip.
"BLOOP" one said as he rushed me, suddenly the rest joined in swarming me.
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Tagga rolled 2 20-sided dice:
13, 20
Total: 33 (2-40)
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Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 7:48 pm
Enemy: Zero Bot Army
AC: 10
HP: 40
AC Rolled: 13
Damage: 20
Attack succesful.
Enemy: Zero Bot Army
HP: 20
Daily roll, 1 of 2
I pulled out my revolver, immediately busting all 6 shots off, instantly destroying 5. "Where's the last bullet?" I yelled, "Remember the car you have?" Santa said. "Oh yeah, the warning shot" I fondly recalled.
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Tagga rolled 2 20-sided dice:
20, 6
Total: 26 (2-40)
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Posted: Tue Dec 06, 2011 7:54 pm
Enemy: Zero Bot Army
AC: 10
HP: 20
AC Rolled: 20
Damage: 6
Attack succesful.
Enemy: Zero Bot Army
HP: 14
Daily roll, 2 of 2
After realizing I was all out of bullets, Santa and I both knew one thing: bloody knuckles and sugar cookies tonight.
In a connection only made by sharing copious amounts of time and sweets together, we both instinctively threw devastating haymakers at the same bot, smashing each side of his head in and blowing the computer chip straight out of what appeared to be its hair. Instant kill. I turned around, hoping to at least strike fear in the AI of the mechanical vermin, but unfortunately fear wasn't programmed into our little friends, as I was met with what was almost a devastating punch, dodged with fast speed and countered with a swift uppercut right to the head of it. In what one could compare to a drunkenly stumble, it fell backwards appearing mildly dysfunctional, but still capable of more damage to myself.
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Tagga rolled 2 20-sided dice:
17, 18
Total: 35 (2-40)
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Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2011 9:37 pm
Enemy: Zero Bot Army
AC: 10
HP: 14
AC Rolled: 17
Damage: 18
Attack succesful.
Enemy: Zero Bot Army
HP: 0
Daily roll, 1 of 2
As any sensible man in my position would do, I used the dysfunctional robot to my advantage, and while Santa and I made our great escape from the bistro, the remaining robots were busy beating each other to rubble. Now, it was on to greener horizons. Time to ditch the beater and upgrade to something a little more classy. I drove away from the busy parking garage in a flash of dust and burnt rubber, reloading my gun from ammunition boxes in the trunk of my car.
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