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 Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 8:53 am
What do you guys think of this?
Comments and constructive criticism is HIGHLY appreciated!!!
This perpetual disguise
I am forced to wear
Is getting to heavy
For me to bare
I can be the gold of the sun
Or the red of a flame
Eternally changing
As if it’s a game
I can be rose pink
Or cobalt blue
I can be the green, green grass
With the morning dew
I can be the sweet of cinnamon
Or the sour of salt
All I’ve ever wanted
Was to be part of their cult
They have no clue
I feel so azure
Or know the excruciating pain
I am forced to endure
I am the current to their sea
I am the wind under their wings
I am the voice of their song
I am the bearer of their rings
There they are
All aglow with ardor
Here I am
Faking even harder
Despondent is my new middle name
Melancholy is my new favourite game
Discontentment roams my eyes
Incandescence explores my lies
But the hardest role to play, you
See
Is without a doubt, not them, but
Me
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Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 1:22 pm
I loved it. I loved the words you used and the descriptions.
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Posted: Sun Nov 27, 2011 10:26 pm
Melody Trinity Ann I loved it. I loved the words you used and the descriptions. thanks XD anything to improve?
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Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2011 7:05 pm
lilac wanda 28 Melody Trinity Ann I loved it. I loved the words you used and the descriptions. thanks XD anything to improve? Nope. It's perfectly fine just the way it is. Wish I could write deep poetry like this. I'm more of a novel writer...though I haven't written anything lately. sad Stupid writer's block...
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Posted: Mon Nov 28, 2011 10:53 pm
Melody Trinity Ann lilac wanda 28 Melody Trinity Ann I loved it. I loved the words you used and the descriptions. thanks XD anything to improve? Nope. It's perfectly fine just the way it is. Wish I could write deep poetry like this. I'm more of a novel writer...though I haven't written anything lately. sad Stupid writer's block... Thanks. XD I hate writer's block as well!!! What genre of novels do you usually write??? Maybe I could help??
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Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2011 3:58 am
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Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2011 2:26 pm
lilac wanda 28 Melody Trinity Ann lilac wanda 28 Melody Trinity Ann I loved it. I loved the words you used and the descriptions. thanks XD anything to improve? Nope. It's perfectly fine just the way it is. Wish I could write deep poetry like this. I'm more of a novel writer...though I haven't written anything lately. sad Stupid writer's block... Thanks. XD I hate writer's block as well!!! What genre of novels do you usually write??? Maybe I could help?? I tend to write fantasy mostly. I will write realistic stories from time to time but fantasy is my favorite genre/
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Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2011 10:20 pm
Melody Trinity Ann lilac wanda 28 Melody Trinity Ann lilac wanda 28 Melody Trinity Ann I loved it. I loved the words you used and the descriptions. thanks XD anything to improve? Nope. It's perfectly fine just the way it is. Wish I could write deep poetry like this. I'm more of a novel writer...though I haven't written anything lately. sad Stupid writer's block... Thanks. XD I hate writer's block as well!!! What genre of novels do you usually write??? Maybe I could help?? I tend to write fantasy mostly. I will write realistic stories from time to time but fantasy is my favorite genre/ I love fantasy as well! Maybe you could have a female protagonist - maybe a witch or something? Her parents could have died after her birth, so she's never met them. Then maybe some big men track her down and want to know where her parents are and there's a big chase. She has to find her parents before these big men find her or them, whilst trying to use/learn/control her magic.
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Posted: Wed Nov 30, 2011 10:21 pm
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Posted: Sun Apr 08, 2012 8:26 am
I love it! Your word choice is amazing- your poem is really well put together.
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Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 9:04 am
thatgirlwholaughsalot I love it! Your word choice is amazing- your poem is really well put together. Thanks! I remember spending all day on it.....I even thought I had finished it so went to bed, but was thinking about it and one particular verse just wasn't quite right, so I had to get up and edit it..... sweatdrop but thanks again xD
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Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 9:16 am
❝ That's gorgeous! You posted this a long time ago, haha, are you still writing poetry? ❞
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Posted: Mon Apr 09, 2012 2:19 pm
lilac wanda 28 thatgirlwholaughsalot I love it! Your word choice is amazing- your poem is really well put together. Thanks! I remember spending all day on it.....I even thought I had finished it so went to bed, but was thinking about it and one particular verse just wasn't quite right, so I had to get up and edit it..... sweatdrop but thanks again xD You're welcome! Are you considering a career in Poetry, or is it just something you like to do for fun?
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 2:11 am
Daintyy ❝ That's gorgeous! You posted this a long time ago, haha, are you still writing poetry? ❞
thanks yeah I am....I like doing it in my spare time or when things inspire me, I guess.... xp what about you, do you write?
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Posted: Tue Apr 10, 2012 2:13 am
thatgirlwholaughsalot lilac wanda 28 thatgirlwholaughsalot I love it! Your word choice is amazing- your poem is really well put together. Thanks! I remember spending all day on it.....I even thought I had finished it so went to bed, but was thinking about it and one particular verse just wasn't quite right, so I had to get up and edit it..... sweatdrop but thanks again xD You're welcome! Are you considering a career in Poetry, or is it just something you like to do for fun? Nah, I don't think I'm good enough for a career in it. It is something I do for fun or whenever I feel a certain way....like if an event has occurred and made me feel something, I'll try to write it and convert that energy into something productive.....it is mainly a fun thing for me though xd
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