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AMITYVILLE ACADEMY ENROLLMENT FORM

Name: Mairead Murdock (Scottish "Pearl";Scottish "Sea Warrior")
Nicknames: Razor
Gender: Mare
Age: 16

Faction: Monster
Race: Kelpie/Sea Variant (Traditionally kelpies haunted the rivers and lochs but what I imagined had more sea elements.)
Natural Ability: Lure- Kelpies have the ability to draw others towards them.

Personality:
Claustrophobia to the Max- One of the downfalls of having the sea as your backyard growing up is that any form of enclosed space seems confining. Hallways and classrooms are a source of constant tension, and unfortunately impedes her ability to focus in class. She would much prefer having her desk set up outside the window so she can stay outside but still hear everything that going on. Let us hope she never locks herself in a bathroom.

Bull in a China Shop- Imagine how much force the waves have as they crash into rocky shores. Now take all that energy and cram it into the body of a headstrong teenager. Finall, take a moment to grab anything remotely fragile or delicate and stash it away in a waterproof vault capable of withstanding a typhoon, and you're ready to have Mairead over for a visit.

That Time of the Month-Because she is so tied to the sea, Mairead's moods are strongly affected by lunar cycles. Just as the tide ebbs and flows, so does Mairead's emotions and energy levels. High tide means a high spirited filly that refuses to be nailed to one spot. Low tide means a more morose, introspective ghoul on a quest for the best spot to take a nap. And since there is no ocean around the school for her fellow students to observe these correlations, the cause of her mood swings becomes one of the great mysteries of the school.

Wisdom vs Intelligence- Mairead can be very wise and insightful about others, but is only a so/so student. Not for lack of effort or brains, just because she can't seem to channel her energy long enough to sit down and give her assignments as much time and attention as she should. (Also, do you know how hard it is to sit in a chair all day? That doesn't even sway?)

Suitor's Galore- Mairead has her fair share of admirers, and enjoys playing mind games with them. Because of this people often think she's a cruel manipulator. True, she takes perverse pleasure in crushing the hopes of ghouls and boils alike. But she's also convinced herself that people only like her because of her natural ability. No one has ever tried to get to know the REAL Mairead that exists past the initial allure, so her interactions with others often come across as shallow. Her greatest, deepest secret is that she would like nothing more than a true friend. She's just convinced herself that it'll never be.

Jaws Envy- She loves sharks. As in, REALLY loves sharks. She thinks they're the coolest thing since . . . well ever. Halloween has a an enormous shark population due to some horror film in the human world, and Mairead lives in awe of the FEAR they inspire. Who wouldn't envy a creature who just has to poke a dorsal fin out of the water to get a reaction?

Mairead chose to enroll at Amityville because: of some advice from a fangora named Bruce. (He didn't have the heart to tell her the other sharks were threatening to bite her in half if she pestered them anymore about scare tactics or if they thought her ears could pass as a fin . . .) Bruce suggested that instead of trying to imitate another species, she should go study and develop her own abilities. Since there were no other sea kelpies that she or any of the sharks had heard of, it was best to go to an institution that catered to the multiple races of Halloween in the hopes of learning more. After many protests about how she was getting real-life instruction here in the ocean (and a quick feint or two from a nearby desushark) Mairead agreed to go. Bruce broke off and gave her one of his own teeth, making her promise not to return until her teeth were as razor sharp as his. Taking this to heart, Mairead gave herself the nickname "Razor," and left to experience the hallowed halls of academia.

FEAR Ability: Tidal Stomp- Mairead slams her forehooves into the ground, and a huge wave springs forth, crashing into her foes. Or at least, it will eventually. Right now its more like someone sloshed a bucket of water across the floor. Which could trip up an enemy dashing towards you down a hallway. Unless they were a ghost. Or flying. Or had really good balance. Or enough sense to stop running. Or jump over the puddle. Or . . . you get the idea.

Physical Description: Mairead is very attractive, but in a raw, primal way as opposed to human's normal understanding of beauty. This is an aspect of her species natural ability to lure others to them. She is tall and very slender, with long legs and a slender neck. Her hair is messy (in that damp just got out of the shower way) and is always hanging down. She loves deep greens and blues, and has a bracelet she wears on her left wrist, and a necklace with a shark tooth. Her hoofs are smooth hunks of black coral. (I am leaving the bracelet design to the imagination of the artists.)

Eye Colour: A bright blue-green.
Hair Colour/Style:Messy black hair with pieces of seaweed strewn through. (see ref pic at bottom of page) Falls to her midback.
Skin Colour: Color of a black pearl, but on the greenish/gray side of the spectrum. (see ref pic at bottom of page)
Clothing Style/Colours: She hates anything tight and restrictive. She prefers skirts and halter tops in flowy, gauzy materials.
Extra: Mairead has a few equine features in her "human" form, most noticeably her ears and tail. She also forgoes shoes and instead retains the hooves from her hind legs. She also has all canines.

Horse form: Despite the fact the only horse breed from Scotland is the Clydesdale . . . Mairead's horse form resembles an Arabian. (So shoot me, I think they're pretty . . .)
References:

Actually the Fangora stage 1 is pretty spot on.

There is an existing kelpie indeed!
Calder, played by MoonKitsune.

There's nothing against having multiples of a species though but it probably couldn't hurt to see what MK's done with her kelpie and whatnot.

I know there is the option of different clans. For example. Me and Kuro both have gryphons but mines an Arctic Gryphon and from the snow north. So, assuming they are different clans or what not, I think the ocean should be fine : 3?

It is still good to compare notes with some one that does have an existing character of course <3

She looks like shes adorable btw <3

Woohoo! I have a Fear ability! I think monsters are the trickiest because you don't want it to come to magically. And it seems with monsters you either enhance one of your physical attributes, or use your body to cause a change in the environment. I'd like to think my idea falls into the second camp, but that's where your opinions come in. So crit away!

I'm really curious where you got that kelpies can come from the sea, since the myths have them distinctly coming from bodies of freshwater, not salt, which is where their originated in people's minds. Since FEAR creates the monster why and how would enough people be so afraid of Kelpies in the ocean when they're..not from the ocean? There is another type of monster you could use, as Hippocamp, which is oceanic, and I think would be better suited for some of the things you have. (Black coral hooves, allowing all the oceanic ties, water manipulation)

Personality wise, A LOT of her rides on the fact she comes from the ocean. But I'll try to break down each thing.
Claustrophobia isn't a personality trait. It's a fear she has. It also depends on the fact she lived on the ocean. A fear does not a personality make unless that fear controls their whole lives. I would suggest removing this from her personality and adding it into something more like a 'tidbits' section.

Bull in china shop- This says nothing about her personality in terms of how she acts with others, or in general. All it says to me is that she breaks things. And if I'm looking for an rp, if my character does not care about stuff getting broken, how will this even effect him and the interaction. If she's clumsy, rude, oblivious, those are personality traits, not physical. If it's that she doesn't understand her own strength, that still isn't personality as much as 'extra' but if it causes her to be cautious, to be reckless character, then those would go into her personality.

That Time of the month- I would uh- I would rephrase this or just change it up. It sounds more or less like any other hormonal girl, but rather then explain it as menstruation, you tie it to lunar cycles. And that said, HOW would you relate this to rps? To my knowledge its either Dusk/night in halloween. How would you keep track of what 'time' of her lunar cycle is for RPs and relative to timelines. I suggest changing this to something like 'emotional' and cut the ties to the lunar cycle.

To also point out, the first 3 things all tie HEAVILY into her being from the sea. When a trait depends on a fact, remove the fact and see what you have left. Idealy, a trait can stand alone without dependency on outside forces. When typing up her personality, try removing a fact and see if it can still function. If not, re-work or re-word it, because it could just be a very simple fix.

Wisdom Vs. Intelligence- How does her insight work? Is she empathic? Is she good at reading body language? How long does it take her to pick up on another person's feelings? Intelligence wise, if she's easily distracted make that a stand alone trait if possible. If you go that route just remember: 'How will this work when interacting with others?'

Suitors Galore: (The suitor have galore? You have Suitors as possessive) You state she still has admirers, which makes me worry, since unless you're referring to people back home, some can read it off as saying that current students feel that way, which is something that should happen in RP, not before. You have two good traits here, but they're crammed into one, making them weak. Manipulative and Reserved are two distinct traits I think you have here, but by trying to cram them into one, they come out weaker as a result. Try to separate them and write them on their own.

Jaws Envy- like claustrophobia, this isn't a personality trait, it's more 'extra'.

Enroll reason- Er... Minipets don't talk. BUT! I have a suggestion. Sharkmen are actual monsters that have various myths. So, it could be that she idolized her friend who was a were-shark or something. OR, one of her parents was a sharkperson. The other a hippocampus. While she can only be one sub race and must take after one parent, it would help a bit with some of your ideas I think.

FEAR ability- this isn't really kelpie to me XD Since kelpies transform into women, and uh- don't manipulate water. This was another reason why I suggested Hippocamp.