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 Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2011 8:29 pm
 After all that happened in court earlier this day, the naiad queen reclined on her lovely kelp-lined shell bed. It was fancier than anything she'd ever imagined when she lived in the sea. But it existed there for her, so she used it. She had sent several Aquatls off on various tasks to keep them busy and away from her, as she just wanted some time to be alone with her thoughts and sort through what had happened.
She reacted badly. Nothing new there. It happened once in a while. But this was the first time it was directed at her own. She tried to place herself outside of her body, to view her actions from another point of view. She still came off as psycho.
Sighing and rolling over so she lay on her belly, she rested her chin on her folded arms, staring off into nothing. "Being a queen is bothersome. I can't react naturally without massive fallout. I wonder how many naiads will now fight against the queendom instead defending it." she pondered aloud.
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Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2011 10:43 pm
 A soft knock sounded from the door, like metal striking the surface lightly. Outside, the Aernyn Captain took a deep breath with his eyes closed to steel himself, then started to push the door open. He'd stalled long enough...best to get this over with. He cleared his throat then called out through the crack in the doorway in an official tone, "Your Majesty?"
With no shouts to get out or leave, he took that as what invitation he was going to get and pushed the door open gently. Slipping inside, he glanced at the Queen reclining on her bed, then turned to shut the door, setting his spear against the wall. He kept his back to her for a moment, trying to organize his thoughts...where to start?
How did one start such a conversation?
When he finally turned to face her, he was doing his best to hide the pain he felt, the pain that came from the knowledge that his screw-ups had hurt her as well, apparently more so even than he'd predicted. "Tari," he started, switching back to casual terms now that there was no longer an audience watching. "I...I just want to start by saying how sorry I am. I should never have kept this from you for so long. I should have told you, but..." he hesitated, unwilling to tell the whole truth. No, he couldn't...
Instead, he swam closer, switching topics and seeming to brace himself at the same time. "I told you earlier, if it helps...take it out on me. Kick my a** if it makes you feel better." He held his ground, as it were, arms at his sides, bracing himself for the worst. He could take it...well, maybe, as long as she didn't shift and eat him, but...the truth was... "I deserve it," he muttered quietly.
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Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2011 11:00 pm
Tariel heard the knock, but did not feel inclined to get up. Instead, she just stared at the door, unmoving. Even when it opened and she seen the familiar sheen of pink and orange scales enter.
IT was when he started moving closer that she finally pushed herself upright, turning to keep her back towards him. A multi-layered gesture. She hung her tail over the side of her bed, put her hands on both sides and just lowered her head while she listened to him.
Part of her wanted to make him feel the pain she felt. But the other part, the better part of her, couldn't stand to watch a loved one suffer, and besides that, when she looked in his eyes earlier, she knew he'd been hurting already.
What had charged that incident, escalating it to beyond rational action, she wondered.
"How old are they?" She asked, her normally crystal-clear voice quiet and gruff from pouring the emotions out through sobs.
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Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2011 11:18 pm
Turin opened one eye warily; that hadn't been what he'd been expecting. He released some of the tension in his muscles, since apparently, the justified beating would not be incoming. "Err...eight...almost nine seasons," he admitted, wondering if this might somehow make things better or worse.
He could hear the roughness in her voice, and knew what it implied. They'd known each other for more seasons than he dared to count; grown close as friends could be; they knew each other's darkest secrets...or so she'd thought until today. That didn't mean that they couldn't read each other as clearly as one reads a book. He could see how she was tearing herself up over what had happened in Court today. Part of him wanted to go over to her, offer her comfort, reassure her that everything would be okay.
If only he knew that everything would be okay.
And yet, experience told him that would only make things worse. Besides, it'd be a lie, and that never helped matters. For now, he'd give the Queen her space, and would continue to do so until she made it obvious that she wished for that to change.
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Posted: Sun Oct 30, 2011 11:32 pm
Tariel did the calculations in her head. That meant they were born shortly after they arrived on this island. So the entire time they were dealing with the transition of moving into the palace, securing the grounds and getting all of the other Aernyn moved to the lake, Turin was out with his new family.
And the entire time she was learning her own role, trying to do good by the strange little child who said she was the leader of all naiads, when she was leaning on them the most, Turin's mind was elsewhere.
But why should that matter? Things were done as they should have been, right? Things are quieter in the safety of this lake, than in the middle of the sea. So perhaps he got bored?
Still, it was upsetting.
"Why didn't you tell me about your family? Did Sadron or Aeroniel know about them?" she asked, turning her head to look at him over her shoulder. She lifted her hand to pull a tendril of hair out of her face, and tucked it behind her earfin. She wondered why he didn't trust her, which sparked many other thoughts if there are other betrayals she needed to prepare for.
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Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2011 9:13 am
"I--" Turin blurted, taken by surprise by the question. Why? Why?!? Because to do so would have shattered any chance he might have ever had to tell the Queen how he really felt. He knew how she was...and of course, he didn't hold that against her. She would never be a one-man woman. However, Turin...? Well, he just wasn't like that. When he gave himself to another, he did so completely and fully. He never did anything halfway; he was completely devoted and loyal...it was just who he was. So, if he'd told the Queen that he had children, a family, well...it would be assumed that that was whom he'd chosen to spend the rest of his life devoted to. That he'd decided he was no longer 'available.'
Not that he'd been a victim of chance, as well as cursed land-dweller drinks.
Even if he could never have what he truly wanted...a chance at something close was good enough for him to keep clinging to hope.
He dropped his eyes to the floor, shamefully. He couldn't tell her the truth, not all of it, but neither could he lie to her outright. He'd just have to tell her...some of the truth and hope that was enough.
"Tari," he said softly, "I never told anyone else. It was difficult to guard my thoughts around Aeroniel, I'll admit, but I just couldn't tell anyone. I was going to eventually; if I could ever figure out how to explain. I shouldn't have waited so long, I was just...so ashamed of myself," he admitted with a sigh. He sank to the floor, leaning against the wall, looking miserable.
"It all started with just one mistake. One little accident and everything just spiraled out of control. I felt like I was trapped in a whirlpool," he muttered, glancing aside. "No way out of it; just ride it out the best you can and hope that you survive."
He dared a glance up at Tariel on the other side of the bed, still unable to meet her eyes. "You remember that strange land-dweller event? The uh...party thing, then those strangers from the sea showed up later? You told me that I should go, cut loose, have a little fun." He chuckled somewhat bitterly, dropping his head again. "Guess I went too far..."
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Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2011 3:56 pm
Tariel watched Turin and his posture and body language were not what she expected. She knew he felt bad, but he just moved and slunk like a pae battered. She felt worse now.
She lifted herself fully off the kelp and slowly floated around so that she was in front of him, looking down towards him. She held her hand to her chest, to keep herself from reaching out to comfort him. She was still upset, but still did not expect this explanation, because it was something Sadron would have done, not Turin; have too much fun resulting in tadpoles.
She knelt, or rather, the closest thing to a kneel that a naiad could, in front of her captain so she could look at him. "Your actions in court today were not those of a man who was ashamed." Mostly Tariel was thinking of his defense of Kelebek, but she did mean towards his kids. He stood up to prevent her from sending them out. She was still offended that he thought she'd do them harm.
Tariel had honestly considered relieving him of his duty so he could spend all his time with his family, because she got the impression he was torn, but also her jealousy made her see that he didn't want one of his two lives: the one with her. But now she wondered if that wasn't what she should do. Was this just a big misunderstanding on her part, despite his secret. Isn't everyone entitled to a few secrets?
She tried to steer her mind towards resolution, instead of absolution. This was her friend in front of her, not just her captain.
"Turin, this palace life is different than it was before. It's hard being formal all of the time, and I have to bottle things up a lot..." She trailed off, almost apologizing for her own outburst, but apologizing outright was not something she did easily. Especially when she believed she was somewhat justified. Instead, she asked something else to try and gauge how he felt about them, because while he spoke of them being mistakes, his actions told a different story. "All those times you were gone, you were with them -- with her -- weren't you?"
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Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2011 4:17 pm
Even if she had a point, Turin's head still hung in shame, unable to look her in the eye. The floor was easier to stare at. "They're good Naiads, Tari. All of them," he muttered. "It's my own actions that I'm ashamed of. Not them." He sighed, the moment of quiet an attempt to calm the storm brewing in his heart.
"One night...too much to drink, and I don't even know how it happened," he started rambling, the words coming slowly at first, then quicker, almost tumbling over one another to escape from his lips. "It's not something I'd do...I don't know why I did, but when she found me again...and she said she was having tadpoles...Tari, I couldn't just abandon her. What kind of man would I be?" Finally, he managed to look up at her, maroon eyes desperate for an answer that he couldn't actually expect her to give.
He swallowed, then continued to answer her question. "Sometimes, yes. Not always. Sometimes I was just making sure that business was being taken care of. I was worried that you'd all think I'd shifted priorities. The Court is everything to me," he stressed, silently thinking to himself ,'...especially you, Tari.' "I always made sure that my duties were being taken care of, that my job came first. I just...I just couldn't abandon her either," he repeated helplessly.
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Posted: Mon Oct 31, 2011 4:35 pm
That was something Tariel loved about her captain: he was a good, honorable man. So why did she jump to assuming the worst? She let go of her grip of her own hand, and allowed herself to reach out and touch his arm. It was a gesture of reassurance, because he was visibly struggling. It didn't take special mind or emotion reading powers to see that.
Maybe she should offer some of her own explanation.
"Turin, finding out the way I did ... I felt like you didn't trust me, and that all we've been through and the relationship we've built up meant nothing to you." She had to pull her hand back and wipe at her eyes. It wasn't until today that she realized just how much she weight she put on them, and how much she may have taken her court for granted. She may be queen now, and have to deal with the formalities of regal protocol, but before that, the four of them were friends first. She did care about them.
She still didn't understand why it seemed heavier with Turin.
She did realize however, that it wasn't about her. A shock to anyone's system when they are used to being the center of attention, to learn something happened that didn't have anything to do with them.
"I'm sorry I assumed the worst."
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 10:39 pm
Now that the story was out, there was just...the slightest ease of pressure on Turin's chest, only a bit...but it was something. The gentle hand placed on his arm went much further than that. He was just about to place his hand over hers when she pulled away, leaving him holding his hand awkwardly in mid-gesture for a moment, then placing it on his own arm as if he'd intended that all along.
Their relationship? Yes, they were friends, comrades even. Could he help that he wanted something more, something that she could never give him? It went against her very nature. He knew that in his head and he accepted it as truth. His heart was another matter.
"Oh, Tari," he muttered, shaking his head. "It's not that I don't trust you. Of course I do. I mean...you're the only one I've talked to about this at all. You realize that?" He looked up at her, daring to reach up and take her hand in his this time. "I should never have doubted you or worried about what you'd think of me. There's too much that's happened between us...and I put that at risk with my foolishness."
If only there could be more...
He bowed his head low, touching his forehead to her hand lightly. "I'm sorry, Tari. Can you ever forgive me?"
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Posted: Tue Nov 01, 2011 11:03 pm
The reality of the situation was slowly sinking in. It made her feel extremely guilty for how she let her self blow up. She was suddenly grateful Sadron was Sadron and gave her a focal point for that rage to avoid collateral damage. And to avoid damaging anything between her and Turin further.
Tariel gently placed her hand on the side of Turin's face, a small and genuine smile forming on her lips."You have to know I would never intentionally harm someone, no matter how scorned I felt."
She chewed on her bottom lip a moment before going forth with the next thing she needed to say. She really, really didn't want to say it, but it needed to be said. "I can forgive you, if you can forgive me, Turin. I'm sorry for baiting you by throwing Kelebek in the abyss." (same slang as 'thrown under the bus') She kept her hands, both the one on his face, and the one he was holding still, as the physical connection was comforting to her soul. She hoped he'd not hate her for what she did to Kelebek. "I don't know why I did that or why I suddenly was so..." she didn't want to say the j-word out loud, so she didn't. "I was wrong."
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Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2011 12:22 am
Turin was quiet, accepting her touch gratefully, savoring this moment of closeness with her for as long as it would last. How many times had he dreamed of this? An intimate moment, physical contact, honest open words between them.
But that wasn't true. He wasn't being completely honest, was he? But he couldn't.
The moment broken, he let go of trying to make it last forever. Still, he leaned into her touch for just a moment longer. "Of course, I know that. I know that, Tari, I just...not 'intentionally', no. I just worried that, for a moment..." he trailed off, frowning a bit at her admission. She'd...been baiting him? He wasn't naive. He'd suspected as much, honestly. They'd known each other for too many seasons for him not to have entertained the notion. And yet, he'd been baited into reacting anyway, because to have not reacted and been wrong would have been so much worse.
He just never expected her to admit that she'd been baiting him.
There was something odd about her behavior in general though, he just couldn't put his finger on exactly what it was. The hesitation in her words just now; what had she been about to say? For that matter, why had she reacted as she had? Yes, he understood that she was hurt that he hadn't confided in her, but...did that fully justify her reaction? Tariel had always been emotional, prone to flights of melodrama and over-reaction to slight provocation under the right set of circumstances...or perhaps it was the 'wrong' set, as the case may be.
He didn't argue with her; technically she was right, what she'd done was wrong. He suddenly felt as if the weight of blame had been shifted off of his shoulders, if only for now. Leaning back, he raised his head to meet her eyes. Maybe it was only his imagination, running wild after an exhausting day. Maybe there was nothing odd about her behavior...but maybe there was.
Sighing, he leaned back against the wall, unaware that his fingers still lay entwined with hers, having let his hand fall tiredly between them. "I do forgive you, Tari. Of course I do. But I have to ask you a question." His eyes locked on hers. "What would you have done if I hadn't snapped? What if I hadn't intervened? What would you have done?"
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Posted: Wed Nov 02, 2011 1:06 am
Tariel had allowed herself to relax which caused her to slowly drift down to the floor. Her tail lazily winding to her side as she rest in front of Turin. Making up had gone better than she'd imagined. She had feared the worst and they would be forever severed from the bond they once shared.
"You wouldn't be Turin if you didn't worry sometimes," she said, a hint of a giggle behind her words. Her attempts to be lighthearted were a good sign that things were smoothing over, at least to her.
But his body language caused her concern, so she removed her hand from him. He seemed to stiffen with her last statement. But she had kind of expected it. Hoped he wouldn't be mad, but expected he would. It was wrong what she did.
She broke eye contact, hanging her head low, looking to the floor between them. "Which time?" she said, half-joking. "I would have likely killed Sadron. Or tried to if he defended himself. You did save his life. But the others ... I had never intended on sending Kelebek anywhere. I was behaving badly because..." She trailed off again knowing she didn't want to say the j-word, but also, why was she jealous in the first place? She assumed it was her natural possessive nature, but was that really it? "I don't know why."
She sighed, drawing little circles on the floor with her finger before lifting her eyes to look at Turin. She wanted him to see her sincerity with her next admission. "Before I even knew they were yours, I was going to send one of the boys with Sadron anyway. They were the only other males in attendance, aside from the half-breed, and I didn't want to send a girl. Sadron is pissed at me and likely thinking I am picking on him for the same reason you thought I was being mean, but I really did have valid reasons for the rest of the decisions I made today in court. I only regret what I did to Kelebek."
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Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2011 5:32 pm
True enough...he'd snapped more than once during that stressful meeting. While he meant to ask what she would have done about her initial orders to Kelebek, he didn't press the issue now. There was something odd about the way she kept avoiding answering for her actions regarding the pink Naiad. And he didn't want to push matters now, if it would only stir up more trouble again. Perhaps it was best he didn't anyway.
He had to agree though, in retrospect, that her other decisions had been sound. It wasn't her fault that there were so few Naiads in attendance; and that three of them had been his offspring. It was purely coincidence. She'd needed help from her subjects...not her fault.
Even if she'd been acting a bit vindictive at first having discovered they were his tadpoles.
He sighed, shaking his head in resignation. "Tari? How'd we end up here?" he finally asked, his true intention vague. Did he mean here in the palace? This lake? Or in this situation? Speaking together in her room? His tension had abated, his posture relaxed and seeming only tired again.
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Posted: Tue Nov 08, 2011 6:00 pm
His simple question hit her hard. Tariel did not know what he was referring to exactly, but her first impression was this particular circumstance that had them on the floor of her room on the verge of tears. It was the first time such powerful emotions and such a huge rift threatened them. They'd always been so rock-solid that kind of drama was uncharted territory.
But why? What caused this?
It couldn't be held back anymore. It couldn't be helped. Tariel needed to know that things were okay, and she needed comfort. She did the best thing she knew how to provide that comfort. She looked up at Turin, and lunged towards him, throwing her arms around his neck in an embrace. She knew the possibility was very real that this would be unwelcome, and she was prepared for him to throw her off. It'd break her heart, but she braced for it.
"I don't know," the words just slipped out the same time the tears started running. "Can we go back to yesterday and start over. Can we skip today and pretend it never happened?"
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