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 Posted: Sat Oct 15, 2011 8:22 am
---
Out in the garden where we planted the seeds,
There is a tree as old as me.
Branches were sewn by the color of green,
Ground had arose and passed it's knees.
By the cracks of the skin I climbed to the top,
I climbed the tree to see the world.
When the gusts came around to blow me down,
I held on as tightly as you held onto me
I held on as tightly as you held onto me.
Cause, I built a home, for you, for me.
Until it disappeared, from me, from you.
And now, it's time to leave and turn to dust.
("To Build a Home" by Cinematic Orchestra)
---
Endesha settled sphinx-like outside of the den that housed her grandfather. She could hear his laboured breathing from the fever brought about from his wounds inflicted upon him by that hyena. She could feel his suffering and the waning of his life. But love was a strong emotion and it was enough to keep him prolonging the inevitable, just so that he might see his family before he...before he...
She closed her eyes and bit back on the emotion that threatened to swallow her whole. There was so much grief and pain and guilt, all mixed in with a rather unhealthy dose of anger. Anger towards the hyena who had done this and anger at herself for sparing them to begin with. If she had not been so naive - thinking that those dogs might change their ways - then this might not have happened at all and she'd have her grandfather for a little longer.
But he was old and whilst the wounds might not be enough to keep a young lion down, his aged frame struggled to fight. And now, it seemed, the fight was swinging in favour of the wounds and Endesha felt very alone.
He had told her some of his story over the last day or so. How he had been raised and how he had been abandoned as a youngster to wander the lands alone. How he had met Maawio and come to live in the Pridelands. The pair had had their ups and downs, but all that mattered was that they had stuck together and worked through them. But Maawio was not here now and Endesha could not deny that there was a great possibility that she, too, had been killed.
Her hate for hyenas grew stronger and she wasn't sure she liked it. It was such a horrible, infectious feeling, but it stirred her and warmed her blood so that even the cold wind did not cause a shiver.
She had sent Lutalo on to fetch her parents, not wanting to leave Amari's side in case he could not hang on until her parents got there. But the dark-pelted lion had been gone a while now and her eyes were fixed on that horizon, knowing that they had to have been close by now. Surely they would have been swift to leave?
Behind her, she heard Amari shifting again and she wondered whether he was getting more uncomfortable.
"Please hold on, Grandpa..." She whispered under her breath.
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Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2011 8:51 am
Kimya had been living a very quiet life in the swamps with Beshtetu, spending a great deal of her time trying not to worry about her cubs- not a single one had returned, though she and her mate had been visited by some of Amali's friends when they returned. It was time for them all to be starting to come home, but even Chasasa and Vyoga had been the only ones to come back so far in their families. And then, finally, Endesha had come home. And she had been able to relax a little bit.
The news of what was going on in the Pridelands had come as a shock, and they had left immediately. The families lived so far apart, they were not as close as Kimya felt they ought to be- but they had visited often enough, even she felt the strong pull to get there fast. However, another motivation for her was that she did not want Endesha to be there and dealing with this all by herself.
So she traveled quickly.
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Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2011 9:04 am
And Beshtetu was there at her side. It was an odd thing, but even though he wasn't used to travelling long distances, there was no pain or fatigue and he pressed on without any difficulty at all.
But to say he was inwardly very distressed was an understatement. He had spent his whole childhood and teenage years in these lands and the time of peace and reigned long and true. Never had he felt unsafe or frightened that someone might come and attack the lands and put his family at risk. But now, after all of that time, war had ravaged the lands and taken lives of ones he had grown up with. Friends. Family. Teachers. It hurt. It hurt a lot and his chest tightened to think of it; making it difficult to breath.
He was just glad that Endesha managed to keep the link between their prides. That she came by not only to see her grandparents, but also her other relatives. However, On this occasion she had come by to see her friend Jemadari to share stories as well as her new name.
She had been so excited about it but now...that had been tarnished by...by such sadness.
Ahead, Lutalo paused and lifted a paw to indicate the direction they would head. Squinting a little against the brightness of the sun, he was just able to see the dark mouth of a den and, lying before it, the small dark shape of their daughter. Lutalo, wordlessly, gave them a nod and then branched off, clearly realising that he had no place to disturb this meeting of family.
Feeling scared, now, he matched his pace with Kimya's and found comfort in her being there at his side.
A moment later and Endesha noticed their arrival.
The relief that rushed through her was unbelievable and, comforting her grandfather with words of their coming, she leapt to her paws and moved forwards to greet them.
"Mother! Father!" And, keeping her face as well controlled as possible, moved forwards to press herself against her mother's neck. "You're here." She gave a small sniff. "He waited for you to get here, I think." And her eyes tracked across the lands as if seeking her brother and sister. Her heart sank. She had known that the possibility of them being here had been slim but it saddened her nonetheless.
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Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2011 9:23 am
Kimya's pace changed as Lutalo nodded and changed his course to allow the family their time. There was no time to thank him for his help, though she hoped he knew they were grateful. Her eyes went back to their destination and then, very suddenly, to the form of their daughter. She moved faster now she saw Endesha, and she didn't stop until she met her.
"Endesha," she murmured, nuzzling against her daughter, but there wasn't anything else really to say yet. She stayed by Endesha but turned to her mate with a small frown, waiting for him to take the lead. They couldn't keep Amari waiting any longer, but it wasn't her place to go first. This was Beshtetu's father.
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Posted: Sat Oct 22, 2011 12:46 pm
Beshtetu reached out to touch his muzzle against his daughter's shoulder, marvelling - momentarily - at how much she had grown. The journey at adolescence had changed her. Shaped her as an adult with a new name and a new sense of confidence. But he had never seen her upset as she was now and his heart wrenched sadly.
Not trusting himself to speak - lest his voice crack and give away the emotions he was feeling inside - he moved to lead the way.
Endesha, waiting for her father to pass, moved in to stride against her mother, seeming unwilling to be parted from her now that she was here.
Beshtetu paused at the entrance of the den and hesitated for a long moment, knowing what lay there in the shadow, but not sure whether he was ready to face it yet. He drew in a shaky breath and closed his eyes, wishing for a long moment that one of his siblings was there at his side. He wondered if any of them remained in the lands, thought of Kiasi. his only sister. Thought of all of his brothers, including his one older sibling.
Where were they now?
"There's room inside for us if I keep in the entrance, I think." Endesha's voice was soft and she moved to stand alongside the den to watch over her parents. As far as she was concerned, she had already said all she needed to to her grandfather. He knew she loved him. Knew she would miss him. That's all he really needed to know.
Beshtetu cast them another long, silent look, and then steeled himself for the goodbye that was sure to come.
"Dad?" His voice didn't sound like his own as he moved into the den, moving as far as he could to make room for Kimya if she wished to follow.
Amari was there and he was awake, too afraid to let himself doze in case the doze became eternal sleep and he never got his chance to say goodbye to the family members who would be on their way to see him. However, his body visibly relaxed as he realised they had arrived and he lifted his head just a little to see them better.
"Dad. We're here, Dad."
"Chunu--" Amari caught himself. "Beshtetu...I knew you'd make it." His hazel eyes sought out anyone else that might join them. "Who else is here?"
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Posted: Wed Nov 16, 2011 3:01 pm
Kimya was equally reluctant to leave her daughter's side, though she knew Endesha was keeping herself together very well. It wasn't until Endesha removed herself to stand by the den so her parents might go in that she allowed herself to stand alone, looking back at her mate as he continued to hesitate. She needed to be with him, however terrified and sad she was to face this.
She took a deep breath when Beshtetu entered the den and followed after him, taking the place left at his side.
"Just us," she said gently, worried her mate might have trouble admitting it where there were so many others that ought to be here too, "We're here."
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Posted: Sat Jan 21, 2012 4:54 am
Amari seemed content with that, however. There were certainly others who should have been there but he feared one of them was already gone - waiting for him in the next life. "That's enough." He replied shakily and he did sound happy, at least, to have the three of them there. It was better this way and he wasn't sure he had the energy for any more visitors than that.
"I waited for you to get here. I knew you would."
"Of course we would, Dad." Beshtetu's eyes flicked nervously back to his mate. "We came as soon as we could."
"And you made it." Amari assured them. "Which is all that matters." There were good lions in the Pridelands. Lions that had made this goodbye possible.
Beshtetu looked stricken and the brown lion gave him a tired smile. "Don't be so sad, son. It's not all that bad, is it? I've led a good, long life. Longer than most. And I've been happy. Happier than I ever thought possible. Life goes on and someday we will meet again. I'm sure of that."
Beshtetu wasn't sure what to believe, but the thought comforted him. "I..." And he trailed, not sure what to say.
Amari turned his attention to Kimya, sensing that his son needed a little time. "And how are your other children?" His voice was quiet but steady and slow. "Did they return with their names yet? Amali was here not too long ago..." Or had it been? He couldn't quite remember. "He was fretting."
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Posted: Tue Jan 24, 2012 11:43 am
Kimya was relieved there was no worry put on the others being there or not, it would only make things harder- and perhaps it still would, but not now. Now was not the time for bitterness or regret, it was admirable that Amari seemed to take that to heart.
She stayed silently by Beshtetu's side, leaning against him gently when he looked nervously her way but simply unable to look at him. As Amari tried to reassure his son, she found it increasingly difficult to look at him, either, but she stubbornly refused to look away. When he looked to her, she started- and even dared to smile sadly when he mentioned Amali.
"Sawa has not returned yet, but it's good to hear Amali hasn't changed much since leaving," she said, thinking about him sitting here with his grandfather, whining about how hard it was to find a name.
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Posted: Thu Jan 26, 2012 1:11 pm
"They're fine kids." Amari replied. "They'll find themselves soon and be back again before you know it." He hoped so, anyway. The ways of the swamp cats were mostly foreign to Amari but he still respected their traditions. Besides, they had seen his son grow up to be more confident. They had given him happiness. That was not something to be frowned at.
He tried to shift himself again, setting his head more comfortably onto the earth of the den.
"It seems like only yesterday when I was young and brash with my whole future laid out before me." His voice was quiet, but steady; as if he were growing sleepy. "Strange how time has a way of catching up with you." He drew in a deep breath and forced his eyes open, glancing between the two of them fondly.
"Are you in any pain, Dad?"
"No. No, I'm fine. Just tired. I didn't want to sleep before you got here." He forced his hazel eyes open again and continued. "You be happy, okay, son? And, Kimya, you'll take care of him, won't you?"
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Posted: Tue Mar 20, 2012 11:04 pm
Even when Amari praised their kids, Kimya shook her head a little, still imagining Amali here with him- but it was all she could do to keep it together now. She leaned against Beshtetu as Amari changed position and continued. She held her breath subconsciously when her mate asked if Amari was in any pain, and she was relieved to hear he was only tired.. but the way he spoke, this was it.
"Of course," she murmured, smiling at Amari.
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Posted: Sat Mar 24, 2012 8:10 am
Up in the entrance, with her back turned, Endesha stared out at the sky. It seemed incredibly blue, wisped with clouds that curled and danced sinuously above her head. She could feel the sun against her muzzle; her eyes shaded by the arch of the den, and the heat crawled into her skin, burning the memory of this moment into her. The land was still. The land was peaceful.
Distantly, amongst the boughs of a twisted tree, a bird burst into song. A beautiful eulogy - or so Endesha liked to believe.
Inside the den, Beshtetu bowed his head to hide his grief, moved by his father's words and by Kimya's simple response. Perhaps it was the simplicity of this that moved him most. This conversation...they could have been having something like this at any time. Any meeting in which they would have dropped by to say 'hello'.
And if you didn't speak about family and love and normality, would did you talk about at times such as these? Certainly not the unknowns of death. Of the endless sleep where there were so many beliefs about what happened to a soul when one died. This is where his own ties to the Jini-msemi helped. The Pridelands beleived in the 'stars' but, in the stories, only kings made it up there where the night-lights twinkled. Amari was a 'king' of his family but not a king in the sense that he had ever ruled a pride. But, in the beliefs of the Jini-msemi, all spirits were equal. They all returned to the earth before being reborn. He took some little peace in that thought.
"I love you, dad." He whispered.
The old lion smiled and then, in the moment that followed, the tension eased from his muscles. Amari's hazel eyes turned to glass and, with his last breath, it seemed that it held the tone of relief. No more pain. No more weariness. Just a release; a well-earned rest.
But he was not dead. How could he be? How could someone such as him be gone when he had left so many behind. So many who carried his blood. His children lived. His grandchildren lived. And so did his great-grandchildren - spread across the land: given life because Amari had once lived and loved.
He closed his eyes, feeling that horrible grief in his chest lighten by the fact that, even in death, one could still live on.
Lying in the entrance of the den - or tomb, was perhaps a more accurate word now - Endesha remained silent and still. The world seemed to draw in a breath - and hold it - and then the wind changed and started anew. A life had been returned to its earth. The circle continued. A single tear traced gently down the side of her face. She had lost her grandfather.
Amari was gone.
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