This had been a long time coming…far too long in fact. Whisper sat down at her desk, which was situated under a window. It was raining; how appropriate. She began to tap her pen to the soft tempo of the drops against the window. She was so conflicted about writing this letter. She knew she could never say this in person, but she knew that Natalia needed to know. She needed to know all of it.

She placed the pen tip against the paper, willing it to move for her. But it wouldn’t, she had to do this herself. So she did with great hesitation.

“My dearest Natalia,

I’m sure by now you are wondering why I have been so distant. Why you haven’t seen me peeking around a corner or hiding behind a garbage can. I just haven’t been the same for a while. It doesn’t have anything to do with you…well part of it kind of does but not the bad part. I have to tell you what I saw, what happened. I know it was months ago, but it’s still clawing away at me. When I see some of the others in the halls…I want to cry. I’m happy that they seem fine, but every time I close my eyes I see it. I see them.

Natalia I saw terrible things. The first time one of them died I thought, “Hey, they are going to just re-appear anyway.” Then they didn’t. None of them did; At least not until the end…but still. It was terrifying. I had become friends with so many of them, and most of them died right in front of me. And if not before my eyes, I heard about it not long after. It was never in a peaceful way either. Some were crushed; I even saw someone get cut clean in half. It doesn’t help that when I see some of these boils and ghouls in the halls, their death flashes right before my eyes. The only thing that could have been worse was if you were there, and I had to see you die. I don’t think I could have kept fighting.

But now I have nightmares; twisted versions of my memories from that place. I wake up almost every day in a cold sweat and out of breath. But sometimes I have nightmares that you were there…and that I did see horrendous things happen to you. I don’t know how to deal with this…and I’ve been too scared to tell you. I didn’t want you to think I was a freak or something.

But there is something else too. There is something I’ve wanted to tell you now for a while. And this is perhaps far more frightening then my shattered mind. Not so much to me, but I think it will…scare you.”

Whisper stopped. Her hand was shaking so badly that she dropped the pen. She wiped away the tears that were streaming down her cheeks, hoping that she didn’t get the paper too damp. Once she wrote this there was no taking it back. However, she knew that it was already too late. This was big for her. She wasn’t really one to show all her deepest emotions, especially her fears. That kind of vulnerability was something she was fine with others sharing with her, not usually the other way around. She liked protecting others, not needing protection. Unfortunately no one could really protect her from herself. All this stuff was in her and really she was the only one that could deal with it. Though the idea of having someone to lean on once and a while was quite appealing; but only that special someone.

“Natalia, I love you. And it freaks me out, but at the same time I wouldn’t change it for anything. On top of that, I know that if I am freaked out, you are going to lose your mind. You know you have my heart, and I hope that someday I will have yours. That’s why this time a part has been so painful. You are the only thing that keeps me sane, just thinking of you helps me stop crying in the morning. I just hope that…well, that you feel the same; Even a fraction.

With all my love,
Whisper”

She signed the letter and leaned back in her chair. She’d deliver the letter in the morning; that was if she didn’t throw it out first. It probably wasn’t the most eloquent letter ever written, but it would serve its purpose.

The morning finally came, and she really hadn’t slept much. She was too nervous. But the time had come and she couldn’t put it off any longer. She sealed the letter in an envelope with a kiss and left her room. It wasn’t long before she was in front of Natalia’s door in the monster dorms. Her stomach was filled with butterflies, and they hit their worst as she slid the letter underneath the door. It was done, there was no going back.