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[Q] Lumiette Fionn - Succubus [Ready // Crit Please?]

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Hhymn

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 11, 2011 4:51 am


AMITYVILLE ACADEMY ENROLLMENT FORM

Name: Lumiette Fionn
Nicknames: Lu-lu, Luna, Lumi
Gender: Hermaphrodite. Her body is dominantly woman.
Age: 130

User Image
Faction: Demon
Race: Succubus

Natural Ability: • Charisma: This species has a natural boost in charisma, and seductive lure. Succubuses/Incubses need people to naturally be around them, because of their need to feed, so a natural boost in charisma/attraction to others helps.


Personality: • Quiet
-Lumiette is a quiet person. She is usually submissive around others unless she is very hungry.

• Arrogant
-Despite being a quiet and submissive person, Lumiette has her own pride and ego. She's not quiet because she thinks less of herself, she just doesn't voice her thoughts often. The arrogance may seem a little strange to those that don't know her. Her arrogance stems from her rich family. They all just simply think they are better than everyone.

• Blunt
-She is not very tactful with her words. In fact, Lumiette usually doesn't care if her words upset people. Her words are usually plain facts but sometimes she will state her opinion as if it is a fact, a branch of her arrogance.

• Quirks
-Curious about everything. Very eager to learn.
-Enjoys and flaunts her double sexes.
-Has no gender or visual preference. Her feeding and attachment is focused on the other's energy.
-She does not fall in love easy but she does fall in lust easy.

Why are they enrolled in Amityville Academy? Lumiette is a very curious girl. She enjoys learning about all sorts of things, good or bad. She heard rumors about a new place that the Halloween residents could visit, but she knows nothing beyond that as no one will tell her. In order to find out more, Lumiette enrolled into Amittyville to increase her knowledge about, not just the place rumored, but other things unknown to her.

FEAR Ability: • Sound Wave Hypnosis
- User whispers a string of words remnant from an ancient language. They start out slowly by saying the person's full name, their eyes on whom they wish to control the whole time, four times. Once the fourth is complete, the string of words from the spell is repeated faster and faster and faster until the victim is under their control. The line of vision to the target from the user cannot be broken or else they will have to repeat the process. Eye contact makes the process easier. As a student, the user cannot control a person that is more than a yard away from them. The radius grows as their control of this power grows.


Physical Description:

Eye Colour: #E99338
Hair Colour/Style: #833946 | For style, see ref below
Skin Colour: #FCC3C2
Clothing Style/Colours: Refer to ref below
Extra: Refer to red below
References: Lumiette  
PostPosted: Sun Sep 11, 2011 6:29 pm


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Hhymn

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Hhymn

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PostPosted: Wed Sep 14, 2011 7:26 am


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PostPosted: Sun Sep 18, 2011 6:25 pm


That is one sexy succubus.

xdeathxbyxlovex

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Sosiqui

Enduring Muse

PostPosted: Wed Sep 21, 2011 10:32 am


Crits for you~

Her personality: is very short! Flesh it out more, tell me more about her. The 'submissive' point seems very at odds to her arrogance: why would she be submissive if she's also so arrogant? Being quiet is fine, it's specifically the word 'submissive' that's contradictory here.

Basically, I'm seeing hints of a lively personality in there, but everything's so short that it's hard to tell. For example - tell me more about how she falls in love/lust: does she fall for people hard? Does she pursue them? Does she only chase one person at a time? Etc. Fill her out, tell us more, and get detailed!

(Also, because I'm curious: how does she flaunt her double sexes?)

For the "why are they enrolled" section: What is this 'new place' you're talking about? If you mean the Human World, that is definitely not new nor is it a secret. Children can't go there but almost all adults would have - just in small amounts, very specific to scaring, so they wouldn't know tons of details. There's a sticky on the Human World in the World of Halloween subforum here that I recommend you read for more info!
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