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 Posted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 6:47 pm
Perfection.
Shiva'soheila was absolute perfection.
She knew this because she had been raised and trained to be nothing less.
So why? Why didn't her Pad love her?
Treading across the pride lands, her gaze scanned the lionesses that loitered about the area, gaze intent upon one in particular. Since Atashmah's mother didn't actually live in the pride, Shiva would seek out the next best thing. Lavender hues focusing rather intently upon Achal's beybanu as she crossed the distance between them at a brisk jog. Her slender, elegant frame moving with a fluidity that didn't defy her heritage. As a vizier's daughter, she was every bit a prize to be cherished like the finest gift one could ever receive. The sun sliding over the pastel tones of her immaculately groomed fur, lean muscle gliding with the adolescent's purposeful stride. Tsubame! I'm at my wits end with your son!
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Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 12:23 pm
 Tsubame got the odd day off where hunting was not necessary, cub watching was being done by someone else, and the den are was already clean. With the day of leisure stretching in front of her Tsu decided that spending time with the other banu of the pride would be amusing. After spending most of the morning with the other females quietly she was quite surprised when a bright young banu came striding towards her.
"Shiva, what did he do now? Atash right not one of the others?" Tsu was quite familiar with Shiva. Atash favored this young banu and if all went according to plan she would become part of their family officially once Atash returned from his coming of age quest. A quick glance around showed interest bright in the other banu's eyes, this particular peace of gossip would be chewed over for some time. Best not make it worse, she thought as she turned away. "Come, lets walk Shiva and you can tell me whats on your mind."
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Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 1:03 pm
Of course Atash! Shiva hissed tightly. It wasn't Tsubame's question that she wrinkled her nose at, but rather the situation she'd come to find herself in. Why was that damnable red-head so insistent on avoiding her? Every other male in the pride falls all over themselves for me! It's only your son I have no control over!
Leave it to a girl to want the one man she could never have. Of course never have wasn't a concept Tariq's daughter was familiar with. In life she had only know success. Despite her small size she was a well trained and particularly skilled hunter who preferred to tackle prey on her own in order to reap the benefits of being able to share the praise with no one. Her manners were perfect and except for being somewhat of a loaded cannon, a trait that was not entirely her fault given her heritage of two particularly volatile parents, Shiva was well on her way to becoming a much admired beybanu. Well, at least.. she had been until recently.
Glancing down her nose at the other banu in the area and trying to hide her desire to stare at them as if they were beneath her, she offered the lionesses a charming smile which thinly veiled her annoyance with their piqued interest. This was none of their business and the fact that they all appeared so alert and eager to whisper about it once she and Tsubame were out of ear range irritated her. It wasn't proper to gossip. Fine then.. lead the way.
As frustrated as she was with Atashmah, her desire to be his beybanu made her reluctant to speak ill of him in front of so many witnesses. Quietly taking up stride to follow her elder until they were finally alone.
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 9:22 am
Tsu couldnt help but rase a eyebrow at that comment. While it was true that Shiva was a catch for any pad Tsu found it amusing that she would voice such a statement. Atash she is going to give you such a hard time, she thought fondly. Any female with a spine is a good thing in her mind, as long as that spine wouldn't get them in trouble, that is.
Without a backwards glance at the others, Tsu started to walk towards the border. She found out in the first few months of joining the pride that most females would venture to the border just for hunting and so it was normally the place Tsu went when she wanted to be alone or to just be away from the other females.
Once they were outside of hearing distance from the nearest lioness Tsu spoke, "You know Atash does not react like a normal pad, I think this is part of the reason you like him so. Don't be so hard on him." She smiled sadly. The young pad in question really was nothing like the other pads, carefree and looking for a banu. To her the dark red lion was always reserved, shy, and very, very, careful.
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 10:22 am
As they reached the edge of the Ukuucha territory Shiva glanced out towards the desolate looking rogue lands. For some reason the only thing that crossed her mind was the idea that Atashmah was out there, possibly never to return or worse yet maybe he was getting cozy with a lioness he thought worthy of him. He certainly hadn't ever seemed to take any interest in the beybanu or banu within the pride.
Tsubame was right. Atashmah was an unattainable Pad. This much had been proven time and time again since he'd arrived with Achal, but Shiva had sought after him anyway, because all things unattainable to others certainly did not apply to her. It was a quest to win his affection, but at what cost? With every act of rejection she could feel her endless fountain of confidence begin to wither. She was of divine breeding, beautiful, obedient and skilled. Why wouldn't he want her?
I hardly think I'm the one who is being cruel. Disheartened words fell from her pale muzzle for the first time, perhaps because she felt safe revealing that she was as vulnerable as any other lioness in the pride when there wasn't anyone around to judge her. The frustration suddenly welling up in her chest again as her tail snapped with indignation. I've done everything I can to serve him well, but he ignores me! Avoids me! He has gone so far as to push me away! I have half a mind to follow him out there! Did you know he left without even saying goodbye to me? As his intended Beybanu I would think he'd treat me better!
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 11:56 am
"I did not say that." Tsu gently admonsished. "All I said was to not be so hard on him." With that said Tsu turned away to give the younger banu a moment to vent her frustrations, anger, and any other feelings without fear of being judged, not even by her. After a moment Tsu asked quietly, "Shiva did Atash ever talk to you about his mother? About his past?"
If he had, the dark cub would have opened up more to Shiva then he had to Tsubame. Then again the blue beybanu wasn't about to push her son into talking if he didn't want to. "It is quite possible that Atash avoids you because he doesn't feel that he is worthy of you. Why would he want you to form a attachment with him when it is quite possible that your father will not accept him for your Pad? or that he himself doesn't feel that he is worthy to be your Pad? This would only make you feel worse in time if you are given to another even if your heart belongs to Atash." Tsu sighed and took a few steps towards the border. "Out there hundreds of things happen every second. Two lions fall in love, two lions fall out of love, one lion kills another, a mother gives birth and leaves the cubs, cubs get adopted by another in need. So many things happen, both good and bad. Here in the pride's lands one always has a family. One always has the support of others, their love, respect, and honer. And even if the male is wrong in his thoughts, for the most part they just want to protect their loved ones." She looked back at Shiva, "I think this is what Atash is trying to do for you."
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 12:56 pm
After taking a moment to collect her emotions and smooth her ruffled demeanor, the Vizier's daughter frowned at the question. Not entirely sure what it was intended to imply, if anything. No. Of course not. He is the most cryptic Pad I have ever met. Even more so than my father, but at least he speaks to me. I've heard rumor that he's barely said more than a mouthful to anyone in the pride since he arrived. I'm not the sort of banu to typically put much stock in rumors.. but with him.. it doesn't seem an over exaggeration.
Pausing briefly to consider Tsubame's logic, Shiva'soheila would have to admit that the bluebird colored female certainly seemed to possess far more worldly advice than one would have thought she had upon first glance. Tsu had been a part of the Ukuucha'Wafalme ever since she had been old enough to acknowledge such things and it some times escaped her realization that not every beybanu or banu had been born in the pride lands. Still, it didn't quite add up. Tariq would never disapprove of her choice of Pad. He knew Shiva well enough to know that she would have never chosen an inferior specimen. That she was not and could never be loyal to a lion who wasn't worthy of her. The idea that Atash could have thought that he wasn't suitable had never crossed her mind. It was simply something she couldn't accept for it would have meant that she had chosen a cowardly male as her Pad. Trying hard not to bristle at the absurdity, Shiva decided--out of civil respect--not to breach that subject further. Casting her gaze back towards the distant horizon as she queried wonderingly. Do you think he'll return?
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Posted: Mon Sep 05, 2011 2:35 pm
Tsu smiled sadly, "Well from what I remember and what I have figured. Atash and his sister were given to Achal to return here by their mother while their brother remained behind. This all happened in a very short time and I can only guess that Atash was only slightly aware of Achal as his father before this happened." She glanced at Shiva, "This would affect anyone. Atash's reaction is to remain separate from others, to protect himself from further pain. Its a logical thing that most do." Tsu sat down on her haunches, and stared out into the rouge lands. This is mostly speculation on Atash's part, maybe something a bit closer to home would be best to mention, she thought as the slight breeze kicked up a bit of dust.
"Do you know why I joined the pride Shiva?" This conversation was going to cover things that few but Achal actually knew but Tsu believed that in order for Shiva to understand Atash, she would have to understand that sometimes when one does things to hide from oneself as well as others.
"If he doesn't then you can be sure I will go looking for him." Tsu's tail twitched in irritation. "All of my sons should come back, if only to tell me that they aren't returning for good." The rouge lands could posed such a tempting treat.
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Posted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 2:34 pm
Maybe it was a normal thing to retract into ones' self upon suffering such a trauma, but Shiva'soheila wouldn't have known anything about it. Having lived in the Ukuucha'Wafalme all her life. In the care of a loving mother and pride-worthy father. Her life had been as perfect as she was. To imagine that Atashmah Sayeh--or anyone for that matter--could have remained hidden in an introverted shell for so long simply confounded her. Their pride was a good place and there were plenty of friendly, sometimes a bit too friendly, banu eager to flirt with the emerging Pads of the pride in hopes of landing a spot in his harem. This had always been particularly true of males from the outside, given that their lineage could not be entirely traced and they offered new blood to the land of Kings.
Before she could say anything to that affect though the question caught her off guard. Returning her attention to Tsubame with interest. I can imagine many reasons why rogue females would want to join our pride, but I admit I'm not familiar with your story.. what brought you here?
Somehow the idea of Tsu setting out to find Atash if he decided not to return didn't sit well with Shiva. It certainly didn't comfort her any.
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Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2011 10:36 am
"It was pretty simple really. It was for a promise." Tsubame looked at Shiva. "I joined the pride for a promise. Not a promise from the Sultan or from Achal but a promise from the pride itself. A promise of acceptance, of family, of belonging. I knew when we first joined the pride, when the Sultan explained the rules to me that even if there were many I would never see, that there might be those who dislike me, that I would have to share Achal with other females, and that I would basically belong to one male and not myself, that I would never be alone." Tsu looked away, unable to watch Shiva's reaction to what she was saying and was about to say. "Its easier to explain if I tell this in a story."
"Once there was a young cub who was unwanted. Her father left before she was even born, her mother left shortly after she was born. A cub was left alone in the world with none to care for her. The closest neighbor was days away and there was no other family that the cub had, that she knew. She would have died had not a wanderer found the cub starving , close to death. But like all others in her short life the wanderer left her, this time with another.
"And this was the pastern she lived through, a few months the longest she ever stayed with anyone. She was left permanently behind shortly after becoming an juvenile. Unable to stand being left behind again the young lioness remained alone learning to hunt, fight, and socialize only by studying others from a distance.
"She remained alone until shortly after becoming an adult. She encountered a young cub stuck in a tree and unable to see him stuck there she helped him down. The cub would accept nothing less then to take the lioness home to meet his family. There she met a lion who was colored like the mountains and as many say the rest is history. For once she had encountered someone who got under her skin. And for once she would do anything to keep that feeling.
"The rest as they say, is history." Tsu ended her tale. It wasn't horribly long but then again her life was pretty empty until she met Achal. She looked over at Shiva and gazing into her eyes she added, "I joined the pride for a promise, I stayed for my family."
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Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2011 1:49 am
Out of respect, Shiva showed Tsubame her most attentive expression, even if her mind wandered to Atash in the roguelands, possibly considering the merits of never returning. It was a temptation that must have seemed like the perfect escape for the reclusive Pad, or so Shiva assumed.
When the beybanu's story was over, however, Shiva was still feeling as frustrated and spiteful as before. Even if the Ukuucha'Wafalme offered acceptance. Offered a place to belong. That wasn't necessarily any guarantee that her Pad would come home. After all, she had tried to be everything she thought he would desire and where had that gotten her? Blatantly neglected. Ignored. Rejected. Avoided as if she were a plague.
Damn him!
Sighing softly, that latrice gaze drifted to the edge of their pride's territory. Shiva didn't particularly trust that his family.. or she was enough to to promise Atash's return. Finally offering Tsubame a half-hearted nod. It was no use. Shiva'soheila knew what she would do. What she had to do. There was no point in waiting anymore. No holding back any longer.
When night fell, under the cover of darkness, the young banu would disappear from these lands to find out there--beyond the gently sloping hills--what it was that she needed. Shiva wouldn't sit and wait anymore, she was tired of hoping and waiting. They had proved a fruitless effort thus far. From now on, she would find and take for herself, the things that were rightfully belonging to her. Starting with a Pad meant for her.
He's out there somewhere. I just have to find him. Her voice quiet with the reality of the weight of her decision. In that case, I guess.. I'll just have to make a history of my own.
Head bowing gingerly towards her elder out of respect. If it weren't for Tsu she would have never come to commit herself to the actions that would soon take place and for that, she could only thank the Beybanu. Never daring to let the other inside her head or know the plan that was forming there. I appreciate your time, Tsubame.
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Posted: Mon Sep 19, 2011 11:23 am
Tsubame watched Shiva's face. It didn't appear that they younger banu understood what Tsu was trying to tell her by sharing her tale. Then again the banu was head strong and focused on her son. She had a sneaky suspicion that she knew what was going through the pale lioness's mind. After all she would be thinking the same thing if Achal left when Atash did and wasn't back by now.
If Tsu was right in her thoughts then what Shiva was thinking was nothing short of suicide in this pride. Tsu was not about to say something out loud, if she was wrong then she might place the idea in her head and if she was right it might get Shiva in even more trouble. She settled instead with a cryptic warning, "Shiva, before you do anything regarding my son weigh every angle and be prepared for every consequence. True love is worth fighting for but first you must know what you are getting into." She nodded and got to her feet. It was time to head back to the den and there was little she could add to sway Shiva off of her path. Tsu could only pray to the gods that the young banu knew what she was doing and that she wasn't about to do what Tsu feared she might do.
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Posted: Wed Sep 21, 2011 8:56 pm
Oh to be young and think yourself invincible.
Tsubame's gentle warning was taken into consideration for several seconds before it fled from Shiva'soheila's thoughts as quickly as it had arrived. She had weighed every angle! It wasn't as though the idea had occurred to her over night. It had been brewing for a long time. Simmering under the guise of a calm and well put-together banu.
No one seemed to realize that Shiva was wasting away waiting for Atashmah.
No one realized that she'd had enough. At this point it wasn't even about true love. It was about survival and receiving to her what was due. The strong willed youth would have the Pad meant for her, no matter what it took to get him. In the end having him would be worth whatever pains her fool hearty actions resulted in.
Watching Tsubame tread back towards the heart of the pride to continue her duties like the proper beybanu that she was Shiva herself could only sit and linger on the edge of the Ukuucha'Wafalme. Waiting patiently for the moment when she could slip beyond the intangible border out out into the wide, open lands beyond it. Hoping to find.. well, she wasn't exactly sure what she was hoping to find, but the hopeful banu trusted that she would know him when she saw him.
[ FIN ]
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