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[Q] Romeo Versari // Tesla of Currents (Crits?)

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Anxious Prophet

PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 12:38 pm


Tesla, which is either a minor planet or asteroid.

Currents, specifically: electrical.

Currents: the time rate of flow of electric charge, in the direction that a positive moving charge would take and having magnitude equal to the quantity of charge per unit time: measured in amperes.

So, they've always existed on the level of electrons... they're just able to be utilized more effectively in modern day! Makes it a lot easier for him to harness his powers, too.
PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 12:39 pm


Name: Romeo Versari

Nickname: Uh... Romo? Like Tony Romo. That's all right.

Age: 16

Birthday: November 8

Sign: Scorpio

Gemstone: Topaz

Blood Type: A

Fav. Food: Pancakes, usually with sausage and bacon and berry syrup rolled up into a pancakewich. Yeah, it's delicious. He's also fond of most red meats and pastas.

Hated Food: If it's food, he'll eat it. Romeo learned to stop caring about how something tasted a long time ago. If he's given a choice between seafood and anything else, he'll pass on the seafood. He can choke it down if he really has to, though.

School: Hillworth

Hobbies:

Poker - Romeo used to buy in for like five bucks on those online poker sites and play for hours, teaching himself the rules of the game by playing -- and mostly losing. He never cashed in, as those weren't exactly on the level to begin with, and he didn't want anyone coming after him for the measly fifty bucks or so he would have walked away with. The experience he gained was invaluable, however, and he's set up something of an underground poker ring at Hillworth. Buy-in is usually low, because he's smart enough to stay under the radar, but whether it's due to sleight of hand or actual skill, Romeo tends to walk away at the end of the week with a decent revenue (and whether that's cash, cigarettes or condoms is always up to the hand played) from his dealings. He knows the value of throwing a hand once in a while, as well as letting everyone else win from time to time to keep them coming back, so until he gets busted, his business is thriving.

Mechanics - As the only man in the house since he was about seven, Romeo learned to take responsibility for a lot of things. One of his main duties happens to be taking care of the POS car that's expected to get his mom and two sisters from point A to point B on a regular basis. He has a love for the inner workings of cars, so much so that while it seems like he's having a hell of a time and couldn't be more pissed off, in reality, Romeo is rarely happier than when he has his head under the hood of a car and is swearing up a blue streak. He's kept his mom's old Subaru Legacy on its wheels a lot longer than it reasonably should have been around, though that's not to say that it's without problems -- it's pretty much a constant work in progress.

Thug for Hire - If you've got some loose change and someone you want pounded, you might be able to convince Romeo to do it. His main stipulation is that he won't beat the hell out of someone who can't defend themselves -- most often, it seems like he gets slipped money by the nerds who want to see him pick fights with the other bullies. Still, you don't necessarily have to have done something to warrant Romeo accepting money to kick the crap out of you -- sometimes, the price is just right, or maybe he just doesn't like your face.

He serves a lot of detention for fighting, gets assigned a lot of community service, but he's never beaten anyone up so badly that they needed urgent medical attention -- and he's careful never to use anything but his own fists, as he wants to avoid Juvie. Generally, he gets his point across and they both limp away from the fight; as Romeo has a reputation for fighting, he takes the brunt of the blame and gets most of the punishment to go with it. It has been impressed upon him multiple times that his "schoolkid scuffles" are not going to be looked at so mildly once he turns eighteen and gets out of Hillworth, but it just seems to go in one ear and out the other.

Community Service - Romeo gets enough of this through Hillworth's discipline programs to warrant having its own section, albeit small. He's pretty much constantly serving a couple hours a day on some sort of community service a couple days a week, largely due to some sort of misbehavior that's been recorded at Hillworth. Romeo guesses they figure he can at least be of some use to the community even if he's basically a worthless sack of s**t. Hey, he meets interesting people, anyway.

Virtues:

Suave - Romeo's got a silver tongue and he knows how to use it, especially on the ladies. There's some kind of dangerous appeal to a bad boy that knows how to drop a compliment, and Romeo won't bat an eye at the prospect of flirting his way straight into a pair of pants and then flattering his way right back out in the hopes of no hard feelings. He tries not to leave girls brokenhearted in his wake, largely due to the fact that he has a single mother and he knows what kind of douchebaggery is involved there, but Romeo likes to have a good time. He likes to make girls feel good about themselves. He likes sex! All of these combine to inspire him to be smooth and suave with the ladies (never the men; while he will sleep with men, he doesn't treat you the same as he would a woman. C'mon, you're no delicate flower.).

Sociable - Far from being a hardass with a devil-may-care attitude, Romeo is actually a rather sociable, friendly person. He likes people for the most part and enjoys hanging out with them, even if not much is said; he'll throw himself beside someone and strike up a conversation if he's moved to, or maybe he'll just lay there and enjoy the fact that there's another living body close by. He doesn't go out of his way to avoid people, not even if he picked a fight with them yesterday; to Romeo, personal and business lives are very separate, and while he might have accepted some dime to deliver a sharp right hook to you yesterday, today he might have to talk to you about exhaust systems. He doesn't even seem to care if you kicked the s**t out of him equally the day before, either -- Romeo likes people, likes to be around them, and would infinitely prefer to spend his time with anyone rather than be alone.

Tolerant - There really isn't all that much that can make Romeo recoil from you in disgust. Gay? Eh. Transsexual? Eh. Atheist? Eh. Slut? Eh. People are people, and he firmly believes in personal choice and the right to be whoever the ******** you want to be without anyone else interfering on your decisions. If it has to do with your own body, then he couldn't give two damns what you decide to do with it. Screw the whole football team, he doesn't care. Don't screw anybody. Sleep with your own sex, the opposite sex, animals, whatever. He doesn't necessarily want to hear about it, but he's not going to string you up on a cross and burn you alive for being different. Romeo accepts people as they are, good and bad parts, and he expects the same kind of consideration from those around him.

If he sees someone actively being bullied for something that he thinks is stupid (re: any form of -phobia or intolerance toward a lifestyle choice that isn't hurting anyone) he'll step up and tell the bully to back off. If they don't, he'll probably punch them. At the same time, when it comes to things that hurt other people -- murder (not abortion -- they're two very different things to Romeo), *****, rape, etc. -- Romeo does not condone them, and he will stand up and speak out against them. Tolerance only goes so far, and for Romeo, the line is damn firmly drawn.

Loyal - He's kind of your big, devoted, loving puppy dog that has a big jaw and a really strong bite. It doesn't take much to get Romeo to like you -- you've got to be a (mostly) decent person and not screw him over in a big way -- and once you do, he's pretty much your man. Pretty much. Romeo isn't blindly loyal to anyone, but he does place some heavy consideration toward doing favors for people he likes, and taking hits for people he likes, over total strangers. The price would have to be really high to get him to beat the hell out of a friend of his, for example, and on top of that they'd have to have actually done something to warrant it. If it's just a lot of money and a personal grudge against his friend? No thanks. You might get socked for your efforts, too, depending on how much Romeo likes you.

You can count on Romeo in a pinch, whether it's to fix up your car or have your back in a fight, as long as you understand that if you're a douchebag he will turn around and punch you in the face for it. He's a good, solid friend to have in the wings, and generally only expects the same kind of loyalty from people that he gives them -- so he won't hold it against you if you kick the crap out of him for being a douche, either. (For long.)

Flaws:

Crude - If he's not trying to get in your pants, chances are, Romeo's not trying to impress you at all. He swears, he's lewd, and he doesn't really care what you think about what he has to say. You probably actually can't take him anywhere nice, because he'll get nervous and then he'll start to degenerate into even more uncouth behavior. With his mom always being so busy, Romeo spent a good portion of his childhood hanging out with the guys down at the chop shop, so he learned a lot of unsavory jokes and behaviors from a young age. He doesn't see anything wrong with this. He's just a normal guy, and everyone thinks what he's saying, they just don't have the balls to say it. Romeo's got balls enough for everyone! Metaphorically.

Rebellious - Who likes authority? Not Romeo. This is a large portion of why he gets in trouble so much at Hillworth, aside from picking fights -- he's damned lippy with his authority figures. If it comes from someone in charge, he suddenly doesn't want to do it, even if it's what he wanted to do to begin with. Romeo doesn't like being bossed, and he'll do what he can to buck authority and go his own way as long as he can get away with it. He finds the line by crossing it, and after he gets cuffed for it, he toes that line to the very limit he can take it.

This makes it very easy to manipulate Romeo, and he doesn't even know it's happening. If you really want him to do something, tell him to do the opposite -- don't suggest it, don't ask him what he thinks, just goddamn tell him to go do something. Chances are, unless he'll put himself or others in mortal danger otherwise, he'll do the exact opposite of what you said just to stick it in your face. (If only he knew.)

Physical - Who has two fists and likes to punch away his problems? Romeo! The thing about being raised by a television and the guys at the chop shop is that you don't learn a lot of delicacy. Romeo learned from the time he was big enough to stop getting his a** kicked that in order to make people listen to him, he had to kick a little a**. He doesn't solve problems emotionally or even logically most of the time; his gut instinct will always take him to intimidation and, when that doesn't work, violence. He doesn't even really have that bad of a temper, he just has learned that this is the most effective way to solve his problems, because it shuts people up and gets them doing what he wants. He's a hammer, and all his problems look like nails. Big nails.

Trying to reach Romeo on an emotional level is really, really difficult, largely because he learned that to Be a Man you had to tune all those uncomfortable things like emotions out. He's not going to talk through his problem with you. He's not going to appeal to your better side. If you don't listen to him the first time, he's going to punch you. If you try to make him feel guilty or ashamed of himself, he's still probably going to punch you. He has a huge disconnect from the emotional plane of human interaction, largely because everything is so physical to him: relationships are sex, not intimacy, and problem-solving is violence, not compromise.

Morally ambiguous - Romeo follows his own justice code. It might not make sense to you, and it doesn't have to -- it just has to make sense to him. He'll stand up for the gay couple that are getting ragged on for kissing in public, and then he'll turn around and pummel somebody for twenty bucks. He doesn't believe that you have to obey the law or do what people tell you to be a good person, but rather that keeping your head down and following all the rules will just lead to you being a doormat. If he sees something that he sees as an injustice, he'll correct it. If he's not really hurting anybody (and Romeo takes his fair share of beatings regularly from all the fights he picks, so bruises don't count) then he doesn't think it's anyone's damn business to step in and correct his behavior. But he'll correct yours if you're infringing on someone else's rights.

Basically, Romeo believes that the law is all well and good and it does what it can, but on a day-to-day basis, there's a lot going on that doesn't get caught. He thinks justice is the responsibility of everyone, and he'll take it into his own hands if he has to, whether that's upholding the law or breaking it -- some rules, he thinks, really were made to be broken. And of course he thinks he's the utmost authority when it comes to deciding which ones these are.

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION

Eyes: Brown

Hair: This style -- shortass spiky hair that's all suavely styled because he is sexy. A darker red, though, more tame.

Face: Long, lean face with thin lips and thin, constantly semi-arched eyebrows. He has a scar that runs from just below his nose down over his mouth and curves along his neck; he got it when he was young and tripped over something, but he likes to say it was from a knife fight.

Clothes: Hillworth uniform!

derivative

Anxious Prophet


derivative

Anxious Prophet

PostPosted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 12:41 pm


Senshi: Tesla of (Electrical) Currents

* Dunno if it would be necessary to put Electrical on a cert or anything, but just in case it is!

Challenge: I'm gonna make you spark.

Fuku Colour:
Main Color: Dark gray or brown (leaning toward gray, but what you think would look nice!)
Secondary Color: Yellow, but a darker yellow.

Fuku: As I am TERRIBLE AT DESIGNING, I went to tinierme and made up a reference point to start from.

This!

Just... kind of go with the basic style and CC it until it looks decent as a starter senshi stage! Modify it so that it has the collar, a tiara, buttbow, etc. I like the colors and the style of it, generally!

Attacks:

Sailor Scout Attack: Tesla Conduit
Sailor Tesla holds a hand above his head and makes a fist, drawing it down and pounding himself in the chest. Electrical currents, whether they are running through huge power lines or tiny ones in the walls of a building, are drawn into his body temporarily. While he is largely protected from the effects, when he thrusts his hand out and flings the current outward, the electrical charge will rocket through his body and will hurt him on its way out, doing about 25% of the damage that it does to his enemies.

He can't control the current once it leaves his hand, so he has to aim and hold his arm steady while the current passes through him and heads toward his opponent. Anyone who gets in the way of the current will be hit, absorbing the shock and being damaged. The electrical current will not pass through more than one person unless they happen to be touching, skin to skin, at that moment -- once it hits a person or travels for twenty feet without contact, it will dissipate and do no one any harm.

The electrical current will cause full body pain for about five seconds, with residual pain for about ten seconds following the attack. It feels like a heavy shock, but is no where near enough to cause a heart attack or seriously injure someone; think of it as a nasty zap that stings a bit after the fact. Tesla cannot move through the duration of the attack, as he is acting as a conduit, so if he is thrown off balance or rendered unable to hold his arm up, the attack will fail.

He can technically use it up to three times in a battle, but considering it hurts him while he uses it, this is a very, very bad idea -- the situation would have to be desperate. Chances are, Tesla will only use his attack once, twice at the most, as the third use would result in him passing out and probably needing a few days to recover from his self-sustained injuries.

Super Sailor Scout Attack: Tesla Super Conduit

The only difference between first and second stage is that the initial zap lasts for about ten seconds now, and the residual effects last for about twenty. It still hurts him to use his attack proportionate to the amount of damage the enemy is receiving.

Again, it can be used up to three times in battle, but the third time will result in him passing out and sustaining injuries that will span a few days. Neither his Super nor his Senshi stage attack is lethal -- it will shock and leave behind burns, but it won't disrupt the rhythm of the heart and kill someone. Adrenaline will be pumping afterward, though!

Eternal Sailor Attack: Tesla's Deadly Currents

Sailor Tesla curls his hand into a fist and slams it into the ground before him. The point of impact forms an epicenter for an attack that has a radius of roughly fifteen feet, which is the total area of effect for his attack. If any living creature is inside this radius (including Tesla!) they will be hit with a wave of electrical currents that have been drawn from the surroundings. Once again, the currents are roughly 25% as effective on Tesla as they are on those who are targeted by the attack -- enemy or ally.

The currents must be drawn from an outside power source as before -- Tesla cannot generate them on his own. If an enemy steps outside of the radius of attack before the current hits them, they will not be effected. If Tesla is thrown off balance and his fist leaves the epicenter, the attack will end prematurely -- this requires him to be still and vulnerable, as did his first two attacks.

The duration of the shock felt by his opponents is roughly fifteen seconds of attack, and twenty seconds of residual pain. This attack can be used once effectively in battle; a second use would knock Tesla out and require days of rehabilitation. The attack is stronger than his initial and super stages, but it is still not enough to do lethal damage on its own -- it will shock and leave behind burns, but it won't disrupt the rhythm of the heart and kill someone. Adrenaline will be pumping afterward, though!
PostPosted: Thu Sep 08, 2011 1:29 pm


I've reworked an OC and thrown him back about ten years, so this has been.. pretty interesting as an experience! He's open for crits, so have at him!

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Anxious Prophet


Tenko72

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PostPosted: Sun Sep 18, 2011 6:36 pm


I don't actually see anything wrong. I'm sorry about that. I don't sound like much help at all.

I remember some CC on mine being that single space objects're preferred, so for objects, you could use a star in Mensa, or maybe these?
Canopus. It's a star in the Vela constellation - it's sails - and that reminded me of currents.
Formelhaut. It's a star in Pisces. Hm... It seems to be easier to find water current related stuff.
Altair. For the same reasons.
PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 10:54 am


Bumping up in case anyone else wants to have a look! <3

Right now I'm going to stick with Mensa just because I don't want the water currents connotation, but if anyone has any ideas otherwise, feel free. <3

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Anxious Prophet


The Red Dame

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PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 12:31 pm


Tesla. That is all. <3
PostPosted: Wed Oct 19, 2011 12:34 pm


TESLA, THAT IS BADASS.

* o* <3 /changes stuff up

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Anxious Prophet


Silent Spy

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PostPosted: Wed Nov 09, 2011 6:03 pm


ON THE CIVILIAN SIDE

For the "Tolerant" flaw you say that he is okay with sleeping with animals, but that he is not okay with harming humans. I understand that the general idea is that he doesn't care about anyone's private business, its their own business, but as sex with animals is considered animal cruelty and as non-conensual as rape, is there any reason he is okay with it? Is he unopposed to animal cruelty? If that isn't your intention, then I might suggest taking out his unopposition to sex with animals, as it is certainly something that made me raise a brow.

Furthermore, it says that he opposes anyone who hurts someone else - but he is written as a fighter who accepts money to beat up other people. While it says that he is "Morally Ambiguous" as a flaw to explain this, there still seems to be a contradiction.

The "Morally Ambigiuous" flaw also does not fully read as a flaw as written, but rather an explanation of his beliefs and motives or an attempted justification for his behavior. It reads similar to the "Tolerant" virtue right now, and not exactly something that would qualify as a "flaw" which is something that others should look down on your character for or impede your character in a daily way. It also is too internalized, where other characters wouldn't notice it. I would either remove it as a flaw and replace it, or rewrite it to make it more negative and more separate than the "Tolerant" virtue.

Overall, I think the character at its roots are fine, and you have a good concept, but it just needs a few tweaks!

FOR THE POWERED SIDE

For "Tesla Conduit," if he is dealt 25% of the damage and can't use it more than once or twice without needing days to recover then the damage might be strong. I think you need to more clearly outline how damaging it can be.

If an enemy is dealt 100% of the attack (where him being hit 3 times with just 25% of the power which would presumably be no more than on strike of 100% of the damage) is enough to knock him out and be inured for days, then the damage is too strong for a Scout attack.

The same goes for "Tesla Super Conduit" and "Tesla's Deadly Currents" - please detail how much damage it would be. For the Eternal power, it says that it can leave behind burns - please provide clarification what type of burns it would leave and the severity.

Furthermore, since he draws his powers from electrical currents, I have some questions:
+ Exactly what sources can he draw energy from?
+ What happens if there are no currents around to draw electricity from (i.e, if he is in the woods, or in another place without nearby electricity)?
+ How close does he need to be to any electrical currents?
+ If all nearby electrical circuits are turned off and not flowing electricity, are his powers able to work? The current must be running, correct?

Other than that, I think all looks good!

Feel free to quote me when you are done with your revisions or if you have any questions and I can give it another read! Good luck with the changes, hope this helps!
PostPosted: Fri Nov 11, 2011 7:59 am


Following up Spy's crit:

The Suave virtue you have written down seems to only apply to a certain kind of situation -- charming and wooing ladies. Unless you can give an explanation for how this can apply in a general sense / outside of trying to get laid, then this cannot work as a personality trait because of the specific conditions that need to be in place in order to be applied. In addition, this does not read off like an overtly positive characteristic: yes, he makes sure the girls are alright after the fact, but he IS emotionally manipulating them and using them for sex. There are equal parts positive and negative to this trait and it's focused largely around a specific activity, so this would work better as a Picking Up Chicks hobby than it would as a virtue.

As a replacement, I would suggest something like a Sincere or Genuine virtue to tie in with his other traits more. His profile in general gives me the impression that he's someone who is about as honest with himself as he is with his treatment of the world around him, so even if he's crude and has really strange opinions about some things, you can trust that he's not hiding behind a facade or adjusting his behavior to please other people. This is a characteristic that can earn a lot of respect, and I think it would round him out a bit to add it as a trait since it would also serve as a bright side to his Crude flaw.

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