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 Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 2:10 am
I've decided to come out tomorrow on my 21st birthday tomorrow and I desperately need support.
The reasons are:
1) My mom and stepdad hate homosexuality in the worst possible way
2) I have an anxiety problem
3) Being femme, even ever so slightly, my mom would probably die once she found out I won't be the "man" of the relationship.
4) I know a lot of friends and family who will turn their back on me.
I'm prepared, but not ready. I just don't want to hide anymore.
Any words of support, any at all, will be appreciated.
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Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 7:18 am
Good luck- and we're here for you! heart
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Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 7:26 am
One, make sure they understand, your still the same person, your still a human being, and you still love them, even if they don't accept you. Understand, they may not accept you right away, they may never accept you. But here is the challenge. You need to accept THEM. If you really love them, and I know its hard, but you need to accept it if they don't accept you. Don't force them into it, don't exile yourself from the family, but at the same time don't accept any bullshit or abuse, and if they treat you differently or harmfully, calmly explain, if you get angry or anything, your just feeding those who judge you.
Best of luck. We're all with you :3
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Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 9:07 am
Good luck man, wish I was as brave as you...
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Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 9:32 am
Honestly, I hear that a lot from gay men. They're always worried that they aren't "the man" in the relationship. In reality, you're both the man, since you're men. Every gay man is concerned about that, and they shouldn't be. So what if you're a little feminine? You're still a man, and being a bit flamboyant doesn't make you any less of a man.
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Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 1:01 pm
Do you have any friends who likes gay people who you could possibly go live with if they don't accept you?
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Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 1:08 pm
Be optimistic about this. Yes you're going to draw a lot of flak for this from what you've told us. But think about it this way. It'll be a new chapter in your life and you'll gain so much from it. Your acceptance potential doesn't look so great but you never know people could surprise you. Just be optimistic. It could be much better than you think.
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Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 1:09 pm
Aw I wish you the best of luck. Coming out is never fun, I'm still not fully out. I agree with what everyone else has told you. And there's bound to be a good amount of friends that will stick with you even after heart
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Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 1:48 pm
GO FOR IT! ( luckily for me, I am straight so I don't have to go through with this stuff.)
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Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 3:07 pm
We are all here for you! Let us know how it all works out!
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Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 9:34 pm
Sunshine Peach-Heart Honestly, I hear that a lot from gay men. They're always worried that they aren't "the man" in the relationship. In reality, you're both the man, since you're men. Every gay man is concerned about that, and they shouldn't be. So what if you're a little feminine? You're still a man, and being a bit flamboyant doesn't make you any less of a man. I love you, figuratively speaking.
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Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 9:41 pm
x-Yasashii-x One, make sure they understand, your still the same person, your still a human being, and you still love them, even if they don't accept you. Understand, they may not accept you right away, they may never accept you. But here is the challenge. You need to accept THEM. If you really love them, and I know its hard, but you need to accept it if they don't accept you. Don't force them into it, don't exile yourself from the family, but at the same time don't accept any bullshit or abuse, and if they treat you differently or harmfully, calmly explain, if you get angry or anything, your just feeding those who judge you. Best of luck. We're all with you :3 These are very inspirational words, thank you for them.
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Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 9:44 pm
Good luck. 3nodding Don't show any sign of weakness. When you tell them, be totally confident and proud. That will show them your resolve.
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Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 9:49 pm
Deep breath.
For one thing, no matter WHAT happens; the world will not stop turning, the sun will still shine, and thousands of people you don't know will be loving and admiring you for all that you're worth. ( and that's a whole lot. )
A little advice for the family, let them know that your sexuality doesn't define you. YOU define you. If they contributed to your accomplishments or hopes for the future, commend them for it and ask that they look at you as the brave, honest person you're being and that they helped you to become.
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Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 9:55 pm
Graylayce Deep breath. For one thing, no matter WHAT happens; the world will not stop turning, the sun will still shine, and thousands of people you don't know will be loving and admiring you for all that you're worth. ( and that's a whole lot. ) A little advice for the family, let them know that your sexuality doesn't define you. YOU define you. If they contributed to your accomplishments or hopes for the future, commend them for it and ask that they look at you as the brave, honest person you're being and that they helped you to become. That's what I'm shooting for. My sexuality DOESN'T define me, it's just another part that makes me whole.
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