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Friendly Conversationalist
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 Posted: Tue Aug 16, 2011 6:15 pm
『_✥ ¡ αч, ριsтσℓєяα ! _』 There is love in your body but you can't get it out
It gets stuck in your head, won't come out of your mouth
Sticks to your tongue and shows on your face
That the sweetest of words have the bitterest taste
SHASTA | LIQUID AMBER | ERMINE SPOT | KEY GUN
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Posted: Tue Aug 16, 2011 6:17 pm
『_✥ тнє gιяℓ _』 ___YOUNG GIRL _____✥ Name: Shasta Chavéz
_____✥ Color: #DEAA1D, Liquid Amber
_____✥ Age: Fifteen
_____✥ Nationality: American (Grandmother Chavéz is an immigrant from Mexico however, and both Valenzuela grandparents come from Argentina)
_____✥ Home/Financial Status: Upper middle-class, currently residing in a two-story house in the Daisy District
_____✥ School: Teufel Town High School
_____✥ Personality: The first and foremost thing people might notice about Shasta is her bold, in-your-face personality. She has a confidence in herself that almost borders on arrogance in some cases. The girl feels that she has the ability to garner attention through one avenue or another, either positively or negatively, and will draw on that depending on the situation. While she does love praise, she doesn't put much stock in it unless it's from people who are important to her. A random stranger praising her performance on stage, for example, means next to nothing to her. She is not very forthcoming towards strangers, and instead expects them to earn the respect due to them, even though she won't work hard to earn theirs (which makes her a bit of a hypocrite). In her better moments, Shasta has a laziness about her in most things she does. She can't be bothered to earn somebody's respect since she feels that if they don't like her as she is, then they are not worth the time to invest in. Even if she is seeking someone to accept her in some form deep down, she has been disappointed too harshly to pursue it actively and instead waits for it to merely "happen". Friendliness tends to come towards someone with a mutual interest or someone who listens to what she has to say without argument, and even then she can be a little overbearing. Loud and very boyish in her mannerisms, she enjoys playfully punching her friends on the arm and picking on them. Even those who do raise arguments with her may earn some kind of grudging respect, even if it's something she won't outright admit, since she loves a challenge from those who stick to their guns.. at least, if it's something she's remotely interested in. If it's something she doesn't like, she has no problems stating her own opinion on the fact and arguing it into the ground, resorting to immature insults or name-calling if need be. She is bull-headed, impulsive and not much of a thinker, preferring to charge into things with guns figuratively blazing; she knows it's a problem and has tried to work on it in the past, albeit not very hard.
Shasta's loudness, penchant for pushing one too many buttons and argumentative nature cover a hardness of heart that she developed over time. She is not very forgiving of those who wrong her and has a habit of being too hard on people trying to get into her good graces. Underneath that, she is likely afraid that they will leave her as soon as she lets them in, so she wants to test them properly to make sure that they are truly in it for the long haul. Once you've earned a place of esteem with her, it is earned for life, and she will be a loyal, steadfast friend. However it should be known that she has no patience for people who whine too much, and will not think twice about a few sharp words. Shows of genuine emotion leave her feeling a little awkward, seeing as she doesn't know how to handle her own emotions, much less say something without sounding rude or sarcastic.
In her spare time, Shasta enjoys watching movies with her dad. Both are avid fans of old badly-dubbed kung-fu films, as well as spaghetti westerns or any kind of action or horror movie. Most kinds of romantic comedies don't strike her as interesting and will instead casually pass them by for a better film. That said, she does have an unadmitted soft spot for musicals - only because of the musical aspect, mind you. The girl is also attached at the heels to her skateboard, and uses it to get everywhere. She visits the skate park casually but only really uses it to get from place to place; this is not to say she doesn't enjoy watching it, however, as she is a fan of the X-Games and always watches them on TV when the time comes around. She is also a very casual smoker, hocking cigarettes from her father whenever she thinks he's preoccupied (unbeknownst to her, her father is already quite aware of it). To her, it makes her seem tough.
Then, of course, is her skill in music. Like all Chavéz children, she was started out on music lessons early, as music was an activity promoted for family togetherness and for the building of character. Unfortunately she never took to an instrument quite as easily as her brother did, only able to manage chords at best on both piano and guitar, and instead was given over to her aunt to help with her voice. Singing ended up becoming quite a passion of hers, so much so that she would pursue it outside of the family as a member of choir classes in school.
_____✥ Appearance: Standing at 5'5" and weighing in at a modest 114 lbs., Shasta is somewhat of a "late bloomer" in terms of womanly endowments. At the moment, she gives the overall impression of being "long"; long limbs and torso, in combination with the length of her dark brown hair (the tips of which rest at mid-back length). Her eyes are always half-lidded, normally giving her a relaxed, lazy look or a critical gaze when she's particularly emotional. She has a healthy tan (thanks to genetics) that only darkens during the spring and summer months. She's not one to dress up fancy very often unless coerced (family performances at county fairs count as one instance), sticking to clothing that is comfortable. The girl does love interesting earrings though, gravitating towards skulls in particular (Dia de Los Muertos is one of her favorite times of the year).
_________✥ Clothing Refs: 1 | 2
_________✥ Appearance Refs: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5
_____✥ History: Shasta's mother and father met in community college in their early twenties through a business course. The attraction took a short while to blossom, but when it did, it burned bright and at rapid pace; Ben Chavéz was so taken with Lucia Valenzuela that he asked her out on the first day of the next-level business class. Following a short two-year dating and engagement period, the two were married. Their romance, although passionate, was littered with small troubles from the get go: both parties had fierce tempers, were not apt to openly share their feelings, and always sought solace in being alone rather than finding others. The rocks in their path smoothed for a short time when Lucia came to Ben with the wonderful news: she was expecting. The time before and immediately following the birth of the Chavéz twins (to which Shasta's gender had been a surprise, since Nate had blocked the view of essential parts - it was pure luck that the name of Lucia's favorite Narnia character could also be considered a girl's name) was relatively blissful. Ben was particularly fond of the children, and was eager to get them into music lessons with his family (as music was very big with the Chavéz clan, many of whom go on to play mariachi together at local events). Shasta and Nate were both open, friendly children, but the two shared a special closeness with each other - they made fast friends with the neighborhood children as they grew older and more confident, but they remained each other's best friend. When the tensions between their mother and father would grow, they would stay together to keep each other calm. For Shasta, that was a great comfort, seeing as either parent were not that approachable for comfort just after a fight.
School, however, proved to be a different ballgame. For the first time, her brother gravitated towards newer friends rather than her, while she stood alone and confused. This made her a sullen, spoiled child for a while, who made a few scattered friends but nowhere near as many as her brother did. The concept of the opposite gender having cooties further drove him away, and inspired her to get attention more forcefully - by acting out, sometimes in a negative way. She was far from being a bully, but she had a habit of playing a little too rough, and as such was no stranger to getting a firm talking to by her teachers. She made no mention of the increasingly frequent arguments that her parents had when she would return to school with notes declining a request for a parent-teacher conference and a reply asking for a rescheduling. Other than sitting in her shared bedroom listening to them, the fighting had no real lasting effect on her until the threats of divorce would finally become truth, and what would follow after that.
Ben and Lucia separated shortly before Shasta and Nate turned nine years old. Despite the mounting tension in the house, their mother took the divorce very hard, and it was not uncommon for the twins to come home to find their mother slumped on the couch, still in her pajamas with tear-stained eyes. The separation had been hard on the children as well, but given their mother's state, they agreed to keep any frustrations away from her. For Shasta herself, she didn't really seem to mind; after all, they still got to go to their father's apartment every other weekend, and should any problems have arisen about that, she could always talk to her brother. If anything, the incident rekindled the sibling closeness the two had once felt for each other and she once again felt like she had someone to lean on.
But it didn't take long for the incident to take its toll. Lucia eventually got her life back together in a year or so thanks to regular visits with a therapist, but in return she developed a sharp bitterness towards Ben as well as most men who would approach her. She seemed determined to prove she was an independent woman who was capable of caring for herself and her children without any help from a husband. Still, the children sensed this wall, and while Nate reached out to try and surmount it (to which, at times, he seemed to succeed), Shasta was intimidated by it. Her mother's newfound "strength" came with the price of truly being there for her children; with Nate being the child who was tied more to their mother's apron strings, he desperately tried to get her attention by getting good grades or helping around the house. He took his role as "man of the house" very seriously. Shasta, on the other hand, felt as though she were becoming more disconnected from her family when her mother began to take notice of Nate's efforts. It would be little things that she would pick up on - Nate would be the first to be hugged upon a "welcome home", and would earn a bright smile whenever he told her of some accomplishment. The fingers of jealousy began to creep into her mind, only growing with each passing year into despondency in most everything. Why even try when her mother would only give her a tired smile and a pat on the head? It was the time with her father and his family that kept her oriented, even if she had to share that with her brother as well. Her grandmother and aunt enjoyed listening to her rant and rave about things going on in school, while she would join her uncles to sing the mariachi music to their accompaniment that she had grown up loving. The Chavéz clan has lived among the Latino population of Teufel Town for many years, and the family performances at local fairs go back nearly as long.
Shasta made it out of junior high by the skin of her teeth, much to the frustration of her mother and brother (who made it out with a stellar report card comprised of mostly As and a few Bs). But the more praise that her mother would heap on her brother for being such a helpful young man, the more the girl pushed away from them both entirely. High school arrived with small arguments over chores, grades, or most things that could be argued over. Over time, Shasta found herself spending more time at her father's outside of the designated visitation times, even going as far as asking if she could move in with him. The question still remains open for deliberation, but at the moment he is unable to support her until his promotion at work goes through. Nate remains as critical of her as their mother is at times, still very much the "man of the house" in his own mind. He often spends time playing guitar with a few other neighborhood friends in a band of their making, Destinos. Their sibling relationship is a terse one, with the desire to become close again balanced on a knife's edge most of the time - a thought often sent flying when an argument arises over petty things such as who has laundry duty or blaming someone for eating the last of the pudding packs in the fridge.
Despite the problems at home, Shasta still craves for the day when her mother will hug her before her brother, and give her something other than a tired smile when she finally does something that pleases her. The girl just cannot be fussed enough to actually go through the endless hoops to gain her mother's love, half-content to wait things out until the opportunity arises. For now, she is happy spending time with her father or with her uncles, performing at the county fairs or exhibitions with the rest of her relatives. But every time, Shasta seeks out her mother's absent face in the audience, hoping (although she won't admit it) that she will be there and finally see her daughter and hear what she has to say.
_____✥ Family:
_________✥ Nathan "Nate" Chavéz (fraternal twin brother, age fifteen, student at Teufel Town High School)
_________Nate is Shasta's fraternal twin brother, older by a five-minute margin. Unlike his loud, impulsive sister, Nate is more prone to being thoughtful, collected, and sarcastic at his worst moments. What Shasta lacks in maturity, her brother has in spades.
_________✥ Lucia Valenzuela-Chavéz (mother, age thirty-nine, working as a real estate agent)
_________Lucia is Shasta's mother. She is an independent woman with a bitter streak running through her, thanks in part to her divorce and in part to her normal nature. She tends to keep to herself and is not often emotional unless something devastating happens. There is a general frustration between her and her daughter, whom she cannot seem to understand.
_________✥ Benjamin "Ben" Chavéz (father, age forty-three, working as middle management at a construction company)
_________Ben is Shasta's father. Like his ex-wife, he too tends to keep to himself, but more out of personal shyness rather than hardness of heart. Generally a good-natured man, there is some stiffness when it comes to dealings with Lucia and sometimes with his son. While trying not to favor one child over the other, it's fairly clear that he's fonder of his daughter.
_____✥ The Extended Chavéz Family:
_________✥ Alejandro Chavéz (grandfather)
_________✥ Reina Chavéz (grandmother)
_________✥ Yolanda Chavéz (aunt)
_________✥ Samuel Chavéz (uncle)
_________✥ Julian Chavéz (uncle)
_________✥ Leon Rivera (uncle-in-law)
_________✥ Carmela Rivera (aunt)
_________✥ Iliana Rivera (cousin)
_________✥ Carlos Rivera (cousin)
_________✥ Emilio Toscano (uncle-in-law)
_________✥ Maria Toscano (aunt)
_________✥ Angelina Toscano (cousin)
_________✥ Bruno Toscano (cousin)
_________✥ Nicolas Toscano (cousin)
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Friendly Conversationalist
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Friendly Conversationalist
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Posted: Tue Aug 16, 2011 6:18 pm
『_✥ тнє мαgιc _』___PUELLA MAGI _____✥ Language: Spanish
_____✥ Desires: Appreciation, to be depended upon, praise, doubtlessness, love rather than frustration (from friends and family)
_____✥ Emblem: Ermine spot (when used in a coat of arms, means "mark of dignity")
_____✥ Weapon: Key guns
_____✥ Type of Magic:
_________✥ Weapon Attack: The summoning of her trusty key guns (of different sizes); typically she shoots two at a time, unless summoning a larger version or creating a barrage by surrounding the enemy.
_________✥ Magical Ability: A barbed-wire barrier that can be used as defensively or offensively, or other uses, should they be thought of.
_____✥ Outfit: Wild West influences that draw inspiration from both the desperado and saloon girls. Color ideas/suggestions would be towards a darker spectrum - blacks, dark browns, dark reds generally, touched up with golds or oranges. I would like her with a long lacy petticoat that is shorter in front and long in the back, perhaps some gloves and boots too, but those're the only real preferences I have. c: I trust the artists would churn out something awesome!
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Posted: Tue Aug 16, 2011 6:19 pm
『_✥ мιscєℓℓαиєσυs _』___QUESTIONS & ANSWERS _____✥ Who is this Shasta character?
_____Once upon a time, when Halie was but a tween, she made up a character; that character was Shasta. Years later, when she learned how to write proper characters, Shasta had a vast personality change into something resembling what she is written like here. There have been a few changes to fit the setting but overall she's the same.
_____✥ What is the deal with the Wild West connection?
_____The original story that Shasta hails from stars her and her brother Nate as bounty hunters trying to make a name for themselves in the Wild West. It's mostly just a gentle nod in to that original story. Before that, Shasta was in a totally unrelated story - she was a Digimon fancharacter.
_____✥ Why are her eyes dark in all the references?
_____Because in her other stories, she has dark, dark brown eyes. Wouldn't work out so well for soul gems, I am thinking.___SOUNDTRACK _____ Transformation Theme: "Pistolero ( Short Mix )" - Juno Reactor
_____ Theme Song: "Barracuda" - Heart
_____ Theme Song: "Things That Scare Me" - Neko Case
_____ Theme Song: "Hardest of Hearts" - Florence + The Machine
_____ "Teenage Dream" - T. Rex
_____ "Mary Jane`s Last Dance" - Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers
_____ "Cry, Cry, Cry" - Flatliners
_____ "Different Stars" - Trespassers William
_____ "The Way Life`s Meant To Be" - Electric Light Orchestra
_____ "Luna" - Fanfarlo
_____ "Scissor, Paper, Rock" - Indica
_____ "( Ghost ) Riders In The Sky" - Spiderbait
_____ "Folsom Prison Blues" - Johnny Cash
_____ "Hurly / Burly" - Man Man
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Friendly Conversationalist
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Friendly Conversationalist
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Posted: Tue Aug 23, 2011 1:11 am
 "Ready to talk? Spit it out or get out of my face."Shasta is open for crits! heart
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Posted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 7:39 pm
I'm going to finish reading her profile and crit in a second. ^^
Okay, so first things first: she's a very well thought character, you clearly and very neatly connected the aspects of her personality to all the different events in her life. This makes for a believable character and a catching story to read.
Also you didn't exaggerated anything, didn't base it on unrealistic horror childhood stories, instead you gave her rather common life, that many kids live these days, but in a way that it's still surprisingly interesting, despite not being far from a normal.
Her personality is filled with flaws and qualities, more the first then the second actually, and she seems like the kind of person that you would either love or hate (and if you do end up loving her, it's because of her flaws). That's exciting when RPing, she's the kind of character that would lead to action packed scenes and intense interaction, no matter if the characters will end up admiring her or exchanging punches.
This is one of the times where I have nothing negative to point out about a character. What it could be said is that could be more approachable, but that would conflict with her personality and family scenario.
And that's it. She's a really cool character, I would love RPing with her eventually. She's apparently the very opposite of Brigitta in every little thing, even though they come from a similar family situation (lack of attention from parents). Even the color is opposite, go figure. xD
I hope this helps a little, even though I had nothing to add. ^^
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Friendly Conversationalist
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Posted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 10:06 pm
Wow, thank you very much, Bhek! I'm glad you enjoyed reading about her. :,D I really tried to make her as grounded and realistic as possible, despite her circumstances. She's not the easiest person to get along with, but to those who earn her loyalty will probably have a glimpse inside, although it may be brief glimpses.
As far as being approachable goes, Shasta likes to keep the ball in her court. If somebody intrigues her enough or gives off a good-enough impression then she'll respond to them, or be the first to approach. It's a call she wants to make. I would like to see that situation reversed where somebody tries to dominate her in first impressions, seeing as I think it would leave her feeling a mixture of embarrassment, anger, and curiosity. XD
And I agree, it would be fun pairing her against Brigitta. Hopefully she wouldn't intimidate the poor dear too badly. <3 Thank you again for the comments, Bhek! Much obliged!
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Posted: Fri Aug 26, 2011 12:40 pm
I'm always curious to meet that kind of person, to get inside their emotional walls and see what truly lies inside. Which is often a soft heart that needs caring. ^^
Brigitta hurts and cries easily, but she's strong as steel when things get really bad. She becomes this rational and emotionless strategist, it's kind of scary. xD
I'm glad I could be of any help. ^^
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Posted: Wed May 16, 2012 4:45 pm
I read this and thought it was good overall, but her personality didn't wow me as much as everything else and I didn't know why. I re-read it and now, I think that if you left the last two paragraphs off of her personality, nothing would change. Those sound more like extra information to me.
I really like her history. It sounds so real and makes her easy to relate to. I think she'd be fun to RP with.
Her weapons look so cool too! I had no idea those existed before.
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Posted: Wed May 16, 2012 6:01 pm
Tenko72 I read this and thought it was good overall, but her personality didn't wow me as much as everything else and I didn't know why. I re-read it and now, I think that if you left the last two paragraphs off of her personality, nothing would change. Those sound more like extra information to me. I really like her history. It sounds so real and makes her easy to relate to. I think she'd be fun to RP with. Her weapons look so cool too! I had no idea those existed before.
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Friendly Conversationalist
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Posted: Sun Jun 10, 2012 8:00 pm
Shasta's a boss. I don't think I'd like to run into this magical girl in a dark alley. She reminds me of Kyoko--angry, strong ties to her father, misunderstood--but the Mexican/Argentinian heritage differentiates her aesthetically and culturally. In my opinion, her heritage creates an awesome theme for her attacks/personality. Her weapon also rocks. I love this girl's image.
Some things to consider:
- How do her parents earn money? It might have been mentioned earlier, but perhaps making it more explicit will reveal financial strains and Shasta's role as a major expense v. her brother. Revealing more about their workplace could also unveil more about their personalities and perhaps explain their interactions with Shasta.
- How does her brother feel about not winning his father's heart? Why does he care more about his mother's? Does he even care about their father?
- Do the kids ever feel abandoned? How does Shasta react to worry? Would Shasta brave her fears out of love or anger?
Love the concept! I look forward to the battles Shasta will fight! Surely she'll give those witches a run for their money. :3
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Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2012 12:29 am
The -S-tarlit Parade Shasta's a boss. I don't think I'd like to run into this magical girl in a dark alley. She reminds me of Kyoko--angry, strong ties to her father, misunderstood--but the Mexican/Argentinian heritage differentiates her aesthetically and culturally. In my opinion, her heritage creates an awesome theme for her attacks/personality. Her weapon also rocks. I love this girl's image.
Some things to consider:
- How do her parents earn money? It might have been mentioned earlier, but perhaps making it more explicit will reveal financial strains and Shasta's role as a major expense v. her brother. Revealing more about their workplace could also unveil more about their personalities and perhaps explain their interactions with Shasta.
- How does her brother feel about not winning his father's heart? Why does he care more about his mother's? Does he even care about their father?
- Do the kids ever feel abandoned? How does Shasta react to worry? Would Shasta brave her fears out of love or anger?
Love the concept! I look forward to the battles Shasta will fight! Surely she'll give those witches a run for their money. :3
Shasta's father works in middle management at a construction company. He used to work on the sites himself but now he's mostly delegated to a desk job, which he honestly didn't like as much as working on-site - he misses the hands-on aspect, but the money was nothing to scoff at. Shasta's mother works as a real estate agent, making money mostly on commission, but since the housing market is so depressed at the moment, she's not pulling in as many sales as she used to. They make enough to get by, and Lucia's mother and father (who did well for themselves working in trade back in Argentina) send money along to help their daughter and grandchildren. The child support Shasta's father pays out is also a help, but it's one that Lucia takes only because she has to, partially due to the resentment she harbors towards her ex-husband. The workplaces both parents are in are pretty comfortable environments with nice people, so really not very many complaints on that front. As far as the financial situation goes, Ben likes to spoil his son and daughter when they spend time with him, something Nate is not too impressed with and Shasta both loves and hates at times. Nate looks into part-time employment to help out with his own spending, but Shasta can't be bothered with a part-time job. It's mostly because she dislikes being trapped by routine or obligation and is moreso a wanderer. Not to mention her attitude, I think, wouldn't be conducive to a workplace environment..
Nate's personality just happened to mesh more with his mother than it did with his father. Shasta's childhood habits of charging forward without thinking and putting on a grand show always entertained their father more than their mother, and Ben was always impressed by her enthusiasm for childhood hobbies. Nate, meanwhile, has always lacked that bold enthusiasm and prefers to avidly plan most things he does, as he wants to know fully what he's getting into. He always felt that his father favored Shasta only because they were so alike, and therefore when he realized his mother needed help, he was glad to be able to do something and get recognized for it. He likes that his mother recognizes him for what he does, and depends on him. Nate does like to help others and be part of a good work team - he's smart (and he knows he's smart; one thing that can be said of the siblings is that they are not always terribly modest, although Nate is the more modest of the two), good with people, and focused. He does care about his father, but he's stopped trying to win a place of admiration long ago. He's too busy trying to live his own life to get his father's approval, and if his mother at least needs him, then that's good enough for him. Also, it's probably moreso a subconscious attitude on his part, but it's also to give his sister some breathing room and let her bond with one of their parents closely. For all of their arguments, they are still siblings and he does want her to find some measure of happiness, even if she is frustrating as all get-out.
Sometimes the kids feel abandoned, sure. A good portion of it happened when they were younger and still sorting through the whys and hows of the divorce, and learning to divide their lives between both parents. Now, they have had some time to settle into things and don't feel it nearly as sharply anymore. It does rear its head when their father cancels plans because he is going to to, as he says, "see someone," but they know that it's a date he's going on. It likely dwells more in Shasta's mind than it does Nate's, but that can be chalked up to how close she is to her father. Shasta's main reaction to most kind of troublesome emotions, be it worry or fear, is indifference, or at the most extreme point, anger. Then again, it all depends on the situation and what's at stake. For something important to her, she'll try and brush it off and act like she doesn't care, allowing it to build up inside her instead. The thing of it is, though, she hates being made to feel weak or dependent, and will likely blow up and fight back in order to prove the opposite.. which often gets her in trouble. She's an incredibly selfish creature at this point in her life, and until she can make a friend with somebody outside her family - maybe somebody to knock some sense into that thick head of hers - then she will brave her fears and worries with anger, and only to meet her own ends. She does want friends, and she does want to connect, deep down, but it's going to take quite a bit of digging and lot of patience. Only then, I think, will she be able to face what she doesn't like about herself and move into fighting for others.
Thank you so much for all the kind comments! * w * I'm glad you like her so much! I'll definitely return the favor on your quest soonish. Thank you again! <33
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Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2012 6:16 pm
Hey! :D Sorry this has taken a little while, but here at last is a crit for Shasta~
First off, I really love this character. Her personality is really well laid out and balanced and it was a pleasure to read through. A lot of the questions I have are meant more to elucidate certain points, since I feel like you've done a really good job with her overall.
Does Shasta have a lot of friends and what kind of people are they? From the sound of her personality, it seems like she would have a small, but close-knit group.
What are Shasta's goals for the future? Does she know what she wants to do after high school-- are there any subjects that she has an interest in, or would she like to sing professionally?
I love all the tension that's going on with this girl: both between Shasta and her mother, but especially between the two twins. I'm sorry this isn't too much of a crit; it's difficult to find many things to comment on. Nice work! <33
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Posted: Mon Jun 18, 2012 6:38 pm
Saint-Cinq Hey! : D Sorry this has taken a little while, but here at last is a crit for Shasta~ First off, I really love this character. Her personality is really well laid out and balanced and it was a pleasure to read through. A lot of the questions I have are meant more to elucidate certain points, since I feel like you've done a really good job with her overall. Does Shasta have a lot of friends and what kind of people are they? From the sound of her personality, it seems like she would have a small, but close-knit group. What are Shasta's goals for the future? Does she know what she wants to do after high school-- are there any subjects that she has an interest in, or would she like to sing professionally? I love all the tension that's going on with this girl: both between Shasta and her mother, but especially between the two twins. I'm sorry this isn't too much of a crit; it's difficult to find many things to comment on. Nice work! <33
Shasta's friend group is rather small, and they're all somewhat mixed in their interests (although she tends to have at least one thing in common with each of them). They're the kind of people who have known her for a long time, and therefore can pick up on her habits and moodswings pretty easily, either dodging her verbal punches or throwing them right back. They all get in each other's hair, but Shasta likes them fine. Her favorite friends are those with good taste in music, though, or with musical talents themselves. As much as she enjoys palling around with them, she doesn't confide very much to them, other than her general frustrations with her brother (but really, what kid hasn't vented to someone else about their family at some point?). A lot of her problems are her own, and she thinks it would be weak to confide them in others.
Honestly, Shasta is trying too hard not to think of the future. She barely managed to pass eighth grade, so high school seems like something that's going to take a monumental effort.. or so she likes to say. She can try if she wants to, but she'd rather goof off and waste time. She's never been much of an academic, instead gravitating towards the arts (music, mostly), and having an okay reception towards P.E., so she does not really want to think about going to school after leaving school, and it's school you have to pay for. All she knows is that she would hate a job confined by routine or a desk, and would rather get out and get people excited, so it's a safe bet she would like to continue her musical career, even though the field is so fickle and not very lucrative money-wise. Her most immediate post-high school plans though are taking a road trip across the country with nothing else but what one car could hold. She wants some time to feel unrestricted by obligation, which is probably why she so readily fights against it.
Again thank you so much for your crit! These were fun to answer! <3
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Friendly Conversationalist
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Posted: Wed Jun 20, 2012 8:01 am
Ahhhh Halie! I have been reading through and through your quest thread for a couple of days now, but I am unable to find anything to criticize! Most of my concerns have been already said by previous critiques, so I just want to say that I really love Shasta! I love her history and her personality, not to mention her puella magic.
I just want to say good job Halie! I hope to see Shasta become real! <3
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