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[q] Lt. Hopeite/ Abbott Niles

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Raspberry Hippos

Dapper Seeker

PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 10:04 pm


Welcome!
PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 10:12 pm


The Female
Name: Abbott Niles

Age: 27 28

Birthday: April 11

Sign: Aries

Gemstone: Diamond

Blood Type: Ab+

Fav. Food: Apples slices with the skin on them. Sometime drizzle with caramel is also grand.

Hated Food: Hot Dog. No just no.

School: Please.

Hobbies:
DIY: Abbott hates to call on people to take care of little task that their good at. So she does it herself, from sewing to making her own clothes and even fixing the toilet. This saves a lot of time and money and this is why she loves it so much. She watches T.V. shows and looks up problems on her laptop to find out how to do this little task on her own. If she can’t do herself she grumbles but does shove out the money when she really needs to get this job done by another.

Thrifting: This is her favorite hobby of all time. Who wouldn’t want to go shopping all the time? Well, her shopping is going to thrift stores or the goodwill. It’s the only way to shop. Really, who would want to pay all that money for name brand clothes when you can thrift and make cute little outfits of your own. Abbott will argue you to the ground that thrifting is the only way to go. She doesn’t go to malls or name brand stores often because she likes Thrift stores and the Good Will a lot better. Plus she can always find awesome fabric to make her own clothes too!

Tobacco Enthusiast: Abbott started this when she was 17 because she thought it was cool and that she was sticking it to the man and hasn’t stop. She doesn’t see the harm in this and smokes them freely. She isn’t as bad as most people only smoking about 3-4 cigarettes a day. She calls this a hobby because she has to do it everyday, and because she thinks it’s cool she often rolls her own cigarettes too. She’s a bit snobby when it comes to these things as she knows about different types of tobacco and their qualities. Plus she hates when bratty little kids start to smoke them and say that their cool because in fact they are not. She thinks this now because too many people are doing it and don't understand the true meaning of being a smoker. She doesn't like the kids who just pick it up because they think it's fun or because everyone is doing it. After really studying the art of smoking she has gain a appreciation and has turn her view on it. She actually hates the reason why she start it but she won't ever say that.

Coffee Shop Bands: One of Abbott’s rather weird hobbies. She is often spotted sipping coffee at local coffee bars listening to local bands of the town. She loves to go out to support bands that have yet to hit the big league. She also loves to go to listen to great music while drinking her favorite beverage, which is hazelnut caramel, flavored coffee. She says this tend to make her relax at times when she’s getting annoyed with the children at her store. She likes Coffee shops bands over local band because she feels like they have more passion then local bands because they don't have as a big fan base as local bands do. This makes her think that they are playing for their love of music and just not for there fans which she enjoy more. Not saying she doesn't like local bands she just enjoy Coffee shops bands a lot more.

Blogs: There isn’t a moment in time where Abbott is not checking out her favorite blogs, she really personal blog over ones that teach you thing because she feels she can learn a lesson or two from personal blogs. She is constantly opening her laptop to check and read pages of her favorite blogs. Either it be at a Coffee shop sipping a beverage or at work. She cannot stop reading them and it’s one of her favorite past time at home. She loves to read up on people lives and what they are doing at the time, or getting cute fashion tips on the new styles. She also loves to check out her “Tumblr” and is also always seen on it. She doesn't really have a blog of her own because she doesn't have time for it but sooner or later I feel she might have one.

Virtues:
Hard worker: This girl knows how to work and tries her hardest to work on it well. It bothers her if she is not working because enjoys doing this and it keeps her mind from wandering. When she puts her mind to something, she’s going to do it right, or at lest try her hardest to get it right. She will do anything that is in her power to get this task, on hand, done.

Independent: She works alone. This women tries to say that doesn’t need anyone help, she rather do it herself. She hates the feeling when she has to ask someone for help. Her policy is; if you can do it yourself, then why not do it. It gives herself pride that she can save a few bucks then calling someone in to do it for her. That doesn’t mean she won’t help people when they ask for her help, she’ll gladly do it to make herself feel proud.

Sociable: This virtue has come with the job. Abbott has grown to be a sociable person. She will go up to many people and say hello or start a conversation. She is not shy and likes to meet new people really if she finds them interesting. She enjoy answering question, as she feel proudly about herself that she can answer question about her work. She also enjoy when people come up to her an ask question because she loves to tell people what she knows about her work or about her city.

Flaws:
Workalcoholic: Work, work, work, that’s all that’s on her mind. When the book store is open she is there and ready to work. She doesn’t feel right if she not doing something, even in her house. She always fiddling around with something or fixing things that need to be repair. She often works overtime as she needs to feel satisfy in her life and working is one of the things that makes her satisfy. This hinders a lot and I mean a lot because nothing comes over work. She tends to forget to eat, go out with friend, etc. Most of the time the only thing on her mind is work and she will forget everything else she needs to do because work is that important to her.

Ego: There is air around her that knows and says that she better then everyone. She has her nose high up in the air and she doesn’t care what other people think. She has a big ego and she isn’t afraid to flaunt it. She usually scoffs or snickers at people who aren’t up to par with her, or idiot that pay too much for clothing. She also prides herself in her fashion and when someone isn’t looking well she tend to avoid them as she know that it would make her look horrible to be even around them.

Perfectionist: This isn’t right or that. Everything has to be done right or this female will have a fit, and she has high expectations. She’s constantly nit-picking over things because she can always see at lest one flaw in it and is never satisfy with her work or others. To her, everything has a flaw and she must work at it for it can become better. She will spend sleepless night just fixing one thing that she thinks needs to be work on.


The Job
Current Occupation: Children’s Book Store Manager/Worker/Reader/and Anything and Everything that they will give to her.

Business Description: Abbott works at the local Book story, which is called “Story Time”. It’s a children book story where she sets an hour a day to read to the kids that are in the book store. Its animal friendly and Abbott tend to bring her corgi to the store for she can play with the kids. Her Corgi name is Amanda. It’s brightly painted with stars, trees, spaceships, etc... It’s doing fairly well for itself and about two years ago they expanded and made it a lot bigger by adding the story time area that Abbot reads in. The ages for this book store are about from1 to mid-teens. Worker there are allowed to wear anything that want as long as they looks nice and presentably.


The Look
Eyes: She has deep brown eyes that are round and youthful. She wears contact so those should be seen in the art.

Hair: A short hair cut almost a pixie cute but a bit little longer. (Longer in the back and the front, shorter on the sides.) She has longer bangs that cover her forehead but they are swept cleanly to the left side. It’s straight and thick, is a dark orangeish-red color. Almost like bricks but has an orangeish tint. She usually wears cute little bows on the left side of her head that are in the monotone colors. ie, black, white, grays, and beiges. Inside the bows are mostly cute little buttons place on by her with glue, so there should be some glue residue left showing.

Face: Heart shape, thin and a hint of blush on her cheeks, red lip stain is always a must. She is often wearing massacre, eye shadow and eye liner. She has a hint of light brownish-orange (tint) freckles on her face, around the bridge of her nose coming down under her eyes and down to the end of her nose. She has small ears and has fair skin. If she doesn’t put sun screen on then she will burn. As I said before, she is very thin and looks like a stick because she rather tall hitting the height of 5’ 11’’.

Clothes: (Anything on Mod Cloth really. {link} So go insane from using anything there.) Abbott loves to wear dresses with belts. She loves to wear anything that is Vintage. She more of an old fashion type of girl, with only wearing skirt and dresses most of the time and with her heels are a must. Abbot is a girl that knows fashion so she goes from top to bottom to look her best. There are always earrings in her ears and necklaces around her neck. She something wear rings and bracelets. (But I would love a cute ring and bracelet on the template, please. Again just take a gander at Mod cloth and you can find all you need there. C: )


The Lt.

User Image
Negaverse Alias: Lieutenant Hopeite

Challenge: Sweetie I could really care less.

Uniform: Clothing: Again anything from Mod Cloth. But a dress. One with some color but stay in the guidelines. Not skirts, just a dress that the colorist like and would like for her uniform! ^^ This is how I planned it anyway.

Weapon 1st: Cig, lit and her smoking it. It never goes out.
2nd: Fire-poker that is warm to the touch
3rd: Javelin that has a burning sensation!

Raspberry Hippos

Dapper Seeker


Raspberry Hippos

Dapper Seeker

PostPosted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 10:13 pm


Crits? o uo?
PostPosted: Thu Oct 20, 2011 11:42 am


Got art. o uob

Raspberry Hippos

Dapper Seeker


zippedsiren

Dapper Spirit

PostPosted: Mon Nov 07, 2011 10:14 pm


Hello bunny!

Congratulations on getting that amazing custom, Hopeite is really cute. There's a few things I feel need to be worked on before she can be stamped though.

As a minor note though, you may want to consider changing your font to be the standard size as some people have difficulty reading smaller text. There's also a quite a few grammatical errors. I suggest you read through your profile aloud to yourself once, and that'll likely help you. Or alternatively you may want to ask a friend to proof-read it for you. I know I make a lot of typos and such myself, and reading things over carefully later you'll probably notice errors you can't believe you made. Proofing will just help give it more flow.

On to actual crits! Which I think I'll do by section.

Hobbies:
-Thrifting is fine! No real issue for me there.

-Tobacco: My only issue here really is the fact you say that Abbott picked up the hobby because she thought it was cool, and yet she thinks teenagers who do it to be 'cool' aren't. That's pretty hypocritical. Although that could easily be fixed if Abbott had hypocritical as a flaw. Can you perhaps say why Abbott thinks smoking is cool, and why someone who is picking it up for the same reasons she did might not be?

-Coffee Shop Bands: This is a neat hobby, and I just think it needs a little bit more explanation. Is there a real reason that Abbott likes listening to coffee shop bands (I'm going to assume acoustic guitar type bands) over other local bands that might play at a bar? If she likes both, you might want to rename the hobby 'Indie Music Scene/Lover' or something like that. Does Abbott like these bands because few people have heard of them and their not main stream?

-I really like the Blog hobby! Does she have one of her own? What type of blogs does she read (personal? celebrity? fashion? diy? cooking? tv/movie?)

Virtues:

I find both Hard Working and Independent to be very harshly worded. I realize that these are traits which would normally be considered virtues, but the way you describe them is quite negative. They both involve how Abbott thinks she's superior to others (mostly independent though, however saying she thinks 'lazy people should just die' is pretty negative). Try to cut back on the negative aspects of those traits, since you already have the mirror-versions in flaws! What makes it GOOD that Abbott is independent? Right now Independent reads entirely as a flaw.

Friendly also needs a bit of work, especially since I feel that Friendly is conflicting with Selfish. These two traits can appear together, but I need to hear more about them. Friendly implies to me someone that is caring, and seeks to make friends. Sociable seems like a better fit. So you could say something like "Abbott is not shy when it comes to interacting with new people or making small talk." Then explain how or why that is.

Since you have 3 virtues and 4 flaws, you should consider either adding another virtue or removing a flaw to keep them balanced!

Flaws:

Workaholic: Conversely the problem you have with virtues, this flaw doesn't sound flaw-ish enough! At least not to me. You should explain how her workaholic/hard-working nature is a hindrance to her! Does she often miss out on fun things like going out with friends? Does she get so wrapped up in working she forgets to have regular meals? Why is working hard a problem? Gotta know this!

Ego/Perfectionist/Selfish seem fine to me. Selfish might need another couple sentences to define how that works with her friendly virtue. Is she unapologetic about it? What about friends and family, does she budge a bit for them? To what degree is she selfish? If she was out christmas shopping, would she spend as little as possible on gifts for others and use the rest of her money to buy things for herself?

Powered Form:

The progression of Hopeite's weapon doesn't make that much sense to me. You're going from a cigarette ( a cylindrical shape with a burning edge) to a small sword... to a bigger sword that's hot?

It's the captain stage just doesn't make much sense to me! And you need to be careful about having sharp/pointy weapons at that stage. Your captain weapon should be a moderate step up from the Lt. instead of a giant leap! My suggestion for a captain weapon would be a fire-poker with a lightly hot end, like a cigarette, or perhaps a staff. Then for the general stage you can advance to a real sword (or perhaps something more slender like a spear, perhaps a halberd, which has a similar shape to a poker) that has a burning sensation or feeling!
PostPosted: Wed Aug 08, 2012 7:20 am


Doot doot has to up date this, now I'm back C:

Raspberry Hippos

Dapper Seeker


Raspberry Hippos

Dapper Seeker

PostPosted: Thu Aug 09, 2012 8:32 pm


All update!
PostPosted: Tue Aug 14, 2012 11:36 pm


User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.

Akina Tokuwa

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