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 Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 7:15 am
  This is a private roleplay between Jianyu [kuromeez] and Yue Lao [Face Your Demons].
Setting:
Jianyu's room at the Qian residence.
Some nightmares are so vivid that even when you wake, you can't shake them. Yue Lao has one such nightmare, and as a result, visits Jianyu in the middle of the night.
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Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 7:34 am
Some nights, one wakes after a bad dream, and cannot recall the details: there is only a sense of overwhelming and pervasive dread. Other nights, the details of said nightmare are so vivid that even upon waking one cannot escape the sense that the dream is reality. For Yue Lao, the latter was currently true. She woke up, tangled in her piles of sheets and blankets, her hair having come undone in her sleep. And she couldn't escape the nightmare she had just woken from.
In her nightmare, she couldn't see properly. It was as if every time she tried to focus her eyes, everything would grow hazy. No matter where she looked, it was like that. She only knew it was him because it smelled right, because when he held her she felt like he was holding the whole world still in order to keep her safe. And he smiled at her, and said something she couldn't hear. But his face grew serious. His arms got slack around her, and fell to his sides. At first, Yue thought that she had done something to make him mad, which was terrifying enough on its own.
Then he began to slump into her, and she couldn't seem to help him stand, so he hit the ground with her beneath him. His stomach was wet, and warm, and Yue slipped her fingers down to check why. Drawing her fingers back up, rubbing her thumb against her index and middle fingers, she realized that the sticky substance was bright, red. His blood. And it was all over her, all around them. It was seeping through her clothing. She kept trying to lift him up, to check what was wrong, to stem the bleeding. Anything. But he was so heavy, she couldn't move him. So she lay there, pinned, as he bled and bled.
And that was how Yue Lao had woken, pinned in by blankets, heaving for breath. She kicked off her sheets and blankets and rebound her chest in a haze, unable to breathe properly around the knot in her throat. Was he okay? Would he be okay? The dream logic had gripped her imagination, and her mind. She wasn't just fearing something had happened to him in actuality, part of her was convinced that what she had dreamt had happened. So she climbed down the ladder and headed out the door.
As it was growing colder, the seasons changing soon, Yue was a little chilly. She had her jacket, and slipped it around her shoulders, running to Jianyu's home. Even in her half-asleep state, Yue was fast, and quiet. She did not want to be ambushed, not on this night. It did not take her long to retrace the steps she had walked many times. At one point, she even scaled a wall, refusing to let it slow her down. She had misjudged the height, however, and cut her palms on the rough edge as her toes worked to gain purchase on the wall's smooth side.
Once on the other side, she brushed her palms on her side, leaving a smear of blood, and kept on running. When she got there, she didn't want to wake anyone: she slipped inside, sneaking to Jianyu's room, entering:
he was there, wasn't he? He had to be. Yue Lao scanned the room for his familiar form, her heart caught, her lungs tight. She felt incredibly nauseous. In the dark, her palms coagulating, and her dream-terror still thick upon her, she hoped to whatever power there was that her nightmare was unfounded.
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Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 1:31 pm
For the better part of his day, Jianyu had spent it training the new recruits.
It was a messy ordeal, the training. Most had only just barely exited the white rock walls of the Academy, either uncertain of what they were doing, or overly knowledgeable, which led to arrogance - neither of which Jianyu had any patience for. However, as a Captain it was his duty to train and command his own small legion of men and women beneath the generals, and this was one of those times where he simply had to do what he was told without complaint.
Afterwards he had had a rather loud and rambunctious dinner with his family; Yue Lao was spending some time with her mothers, which both had thought necessary since she would not be living with them for much longer. They had taken the rest of the evening talking and laughing and playing games late into the night until Ehuang's excellent cooking had made their stomachs full and the wine and sweets made them feel warm and satisfied. It was nearing midnight when Jianyu finally made his way back to his own room, stripping off his day clothes in exchange for a pair of simple white pants that he normally did not wear out of the house, since they were old and full of holes. He did not bother with a shirt; though it was growing cooler outside, inside the house it was often too warm, the servants keeping track of the fires.
Jianyu fell asleep easily on the mat placed on the floor of his room, his back to the door, on his side. Beside him lay the crossbow, as it always did, as well as the black cloth that covered his eye. He rarely took it off, but sleeping with it on was uncomfortable.
The night turned blacker, the clouds above making the temperature drop several degrees. Jianyu's dreams were pale and blurry; when he awoke later, he would not be able to remember them.
And he was not sure what had woken him up first; the sound of the door sliding open, or the footsteps padding catlike along the floor. Jianyu's room had no windows, and the house was extremely well-guarded, Liwei and Ehuang's room several doors before his. There were various animals that roamed the halls, a half a dozen miscellaneous dogs included, which meant that only a fool would attempt to break into the Qian House.
Jianyu's eyes flickered open, seeing only darkness, shadows elongating. He did not move at first, though he could tell instantly that there was someone in the room with him. His fingers curled around the hilt of the crossbow, ready in case it was not a welcome person.
The scent of rosewater and blossoms reached his nose and Jianyu felt confusion cloud his face, which quickly turned into recognition. He turned over, pushing himself into a sitting position.
"Yue!"
He could see her pale face framed in the darkness, though there was hardly any light other than the dwindling candle on the desk, which was nearly out, the wax seeping into the metal plate beneath it. It was difficult to distinguish anything in the room, but Jianyu could recognize her instantly. He threw back the covers and ran towards her, his hands cupping her face.
"What's wrong?" he said with alarm, his heart hammering in his chest as he moved his hands to her shoulders, her arms, checking to see if she was injured. Why is she here so late at night?
"Goddess Lunaria, you're bleeding!" There was a small strangled sound, and Jianyu's fingers encircled Yue's wrist, tugging her towards the mat where he slept. He pushed her down onto it and went to retrieve the water pitcher and cloth on the stand beside his desk. He lit a second candle, illuminating the room in a pale, orangey light, and then went back to Yue, sitting cross-legged beside her.
"What happened?" Jianyu said urgently. "What happened to your hands?"
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Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 5:34 pm
In the dark, she could only really hear. She heard movement, the sound of a weapon. She hadn't even thought to be cautious in that way. The fear that Jianyu was injured or gone was her only motivation, and so the idea of her own safety was too distant to be a concern.
Then there was movement, a shape, raising, and his voice. She felt her shoulders heave inward with relief. Except she couldn't bring herself to move. What if he died? What if he left, what if she wasn't there when he died? She wasn't someone who was easily frightened by anything, and she wasn't going to be paralyzed by this fear, either. But she was not experienced with caring for someone so deeply. Death walked hand in hand with the war, and so it was never surprising if someone lost their life. But she could not even stomach the idea of losing Jianyu after only really gaining him so recently.
"Yu," she exhaled, forcing herself to move. She raised her hand up as he ran towards her, and she felt a smile form. He was real. He was alive, and real, and she was here with him. The fears vanished as he cupped her face. For the most part, anyway. The tendrils of terror at having thought she had lost him already latched onto her brain, and she couldn't seem to shake them.
But for the time being, the dream was wrong. The blood was nothing; she had forgotten about the cuts on her palm. It was true that the more she looked at them, the worse they seemed. And her stomach was also cut, from where she had pulled herself up on top of the wall. She hadn't even noticed that one. They stung a little, but it was nothing she couldn't handle. Jianyu asked her what was wrong, and she tried to answer him, but didn't know how.
"I am, yeah," she agreed, with a wry smile. He pulled her towards the mat and pushed her down, and she was still too in shock to even try to stop him or move on her own. He lit a second candle, and she looked up at him. In the light, the cut on her stomach was thin and would heal fine. It was the palms that had taken most of the pressure: there was one long gash on each palm, stretching across the base of her finger bones. She squeezed her hands into fists, and winced. That was stupid, to be injured so easily. She hadn't even thought to check what the wall was made out of. Not that she could have seen anything in the dark.
In retrospect, the entire journey had been kind of stupid. "I had a nightmare that you were dead," she explained simply, "and after just getting you back, I didn't want to lose you again. So I ran." She felt a little stupid, again. "I swear I'm not crazy," she added. After a pause, she said: "That doesn't make a very good case for me, does it? It's probably exactly what a crazy person would say."
She leaned back on the mat with a sigh, and looked at Jianyu. The pants he wore were full of holes. She smiled. And then realized she hadn't been wearing decent pants, they were just her shorts for sleeping in. Thin things, because she liked to keep so many blankets around her, and she would overheat. At least she had bound herself properly. She took her jacket off and set it to the side, taking a look at her palms again.
"Sorry I woke you up for such a stupid reason, Yu," she said, smiling wryly. She pointed to her head, as if she was inferring she was crazy, and shook her head in disbelief. Nightmares could be powerful agents. Even when she had killed the Nobleman to prevent more death in the ambush, she had nightmares over it for a long, long time. Nightmares about her inadequacies as a student. She wasn't so weak anymore. She could fight if she wanted. And she would prove it as many times as needed.
Now that she was here, she wasn't really sure what to do. Probably wash the cuts out. At least the one on her stomach was light. She looked down again, and thought about the new tattoo, with a smile.
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Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 6:06 pm
The blood on her hands was not overwhelming, but it was enough to make Jianyu's stomach churn unpleasantly. He had seen enough blood in his lifetime to make him quite the expert on it, and could handle it with an extraordinarily neutrality and separation most of the time, but when it came to the people he cared about, people he actually knew...it was different. It made everything so much more real, so much more sickening.
Yue seemed uncaring about the blood, however; in fact, she seemed sort of daze, a stricken expression on her pale face. She made no sound as he pushed her to sit except a breath of his name and a faint smile, dazed from...something. Though what exactly it was, Jianyu had yet to discover.
"Stop that," he said sharply as she closed her hands into fists, pain flickering in her eyes. Grabbing one of her hands, he pulled her fingers away, his lips pressing together in a thin line at the sight of the blood, matted and dark against her beautiful skin. There were two, one on each palm, as well as a very thin one that crossed over stomach. That one seemed relatively harmless; it was the two on her hands that were the worst. Jianyu dipped the cloth into the water and began to wipe clean the cuts, knowing full well that it would hurt and that there was nothing he could do about it.
"It's not a stupid reason," he told her after a moment, his expression softening. "You were concerned."
He raised his eyes, pausing momentarily to meet her gaze steadily; two different colors. His right eye was still the same dark blue as it had ever been, but the left was now a pale, nearly opaque white - a blind eye. The scar running from forehead down over his cheek, nearly to his chin had healed nicely, however, thin and clean.
"I am very much alive," Jianyu said, with a ferocity in his voice. "I am not going anywhere. You will not lose me."
Leaning forward he wrapped his free hand around the back of her neck and kissed her, and with his lips still pressed to hers, he murmured "I am still right here in front of you, and I am very much alive."
He kissed her again, very gently, then pulled back to work on her hands again. "What in goddess Lunaria's name did you do to get these, then?" Jianyu asked with a grim expression, a low growl escaping his lips as his gaze flickered briefly to the one on her stomach. His voice softened, however, and after a moment he said quietly "I dream of you as well, you know. Dream that you are being taken away from me, that my family is dead, that my closest friends are all gone. The ones with you are the most prominent nowadays, and sometimes I wake and wish you were beside me so that I could feel your breathing."
He was nearly done with her left hand. Jianyu gave Yue's palm one more swipe before moving to the next. "One week," he said. "One more week, and then I will be able to wake up to you every day for the rest of my life and beyond."
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Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 6:42 pm
As Jianyu pulled her fingers away from her palm and tried to clean the blood away, she felt overcome by a feeling of tenderness and gratitude. It was also new, being cared for like this. Yowai and Chichi hardly ever helped her with her wounds; she had been taking care of herself for a long time, now. No help, not that she ever wanted or asked for any. But having Jianyu's hands hold hers, clean the wounds, she felt comforted. It was as if he was making them better, just by helping her treat them.
The cloth stung, but it was no more than that. The corner of her mouth twitched up a little in pain, but it was her own fault she had cut her palms like that. Too late to mourn her stupidity now, though. At least she had experienced the terror, to know what it would be like. And one day she wouldn't have to run down the streets, scale walls and sneak into houses. She would be living with him, sleeping next to him every night. Even now, she couldn't help but feel happy to see him. That was what made the cuts such a low priority, even though as far as such simple cuts went, they were rather jagged, from where the rough stones had cut in. "I was, yeah," she agreed, when he told her it wasn't stupid, why she had showed up so late. Her posture relaxed a little, once he made her feel forgiven, or rather that she had no need to apologize in the first place.
"You'd better be alive," she said, "I am not going to be a pre-marriage widow," her voice stern. Sternness hardly suited Yue. She snorted at herself and shook her head. Then, her face grew soft again as he looked her in the eyes. She took the hand he had cleaned and brushed her thumb along the scar, leaning in to kiss both cheeks. Because that was how he looked, and she loved him, or because it was a feature which reminded her of his strength: she couldn't distill the feeling. But seeing both his eyes made her feel better about the nightmare. Slowly, piece by piece, the tendrils it had attached to her heart were being snipped away.
Nothing would kill him, would it? He had been near death before, and pulled back from the brink. He had a strong soul. The ferocity with which he assured her he was still alive made her grin with pride. To know someone she respected so much, and to know that soon they would belong openly to no one else, these things made her proud. And there was no better way to express it in that moment than kiss him back, shivering as he spoke with his lips against hers. She inhaled slowly, softly, as if trying to absorb his words. She mouthed back, Very much alive and shifted forward so that she could lean her legs against his.
She exhaled heavily as he pulled away to keep working on them, providing easy access to her palms to help. "Scaled a wall," she replied, simply. It was no big deal. She scaled things all the time, it was all about the tension in your toes, and the momentum. Learning when to jump, how much force to use. All little calculations. She liked to walk on the rooftops, so it was a useful skill. Her eyes closed slightly in contentment, and sleepiness, as he admitted that he dreamed of her, too.
"No one can take me from you, not even Death," she said, her confidence apparent. She truly believed that if death came for her, she could fight it off. That was Yue's nature. Not to sit down and cry, but to stand up and fight. That didn't mean she didn't enjoy being taken care of, though: his hands as they cleaned her palms were so gentle, firm, somehow loving even in that action.
Yue Lao closed her eyes, and with her newly cleaned hand, brushed the fingertips down his chest. "One week," she agreed, her skin aglow, eyes bright, if still slightly closed. "And then I won't have to run here in the dark to check up on you," she said, shaking her head. Her earrings, even though she always wore them, were not with her; neither was her hair clip. She had run here as fast as she could, without remembering to change or grab her usual items. She stretched her legs out over him.
She considered, briefly, turning her body so that she could lean against his bare chest while he cleaned her remaining palm, but instead opted to sneak glances at his body and his face whenever she thought it was safe: she admired him, in the soft light, and relished the knowledge that she would soon be able to look at him this way whenever. Although the black cloth never bothered her, there was something comforting about seeing his face without it.
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Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 7:06 pm
Though his movements were careful, Jianyu's mouth was still set in that grim line as he looked down at Yue's hands. They would need wrapping, certainly, but at least they weren't as bad as he had thought at first glance. Once all of the blood had been wiped away, he could see that they were not as deep as he had believed; however it would still take a few days to recover full use of her hands, maybe even a bit over a week.
"Concern over me does not merit injuring yourself in the process, Yue," Jianyu said, in a gentle, but firm voice. "While I very much understand your need to be aware of my safety, since I share the same need, I do not wish for you to be in pain over my sake."
He was not exactly reprimanding her; instead it was a warning for the future, implying his desire to see her safe as well. The kisses against his cheek, over his scar were butterfly light, a reminder that Yue was the only person other than his family that had seen him without the cloth over his eye. It was a symbol of the utmost trust and respect for her that Jianyu had allowed her to see it in the first place, and right now, at this moment, he did not feel the slightest bit self-conscious over it.
A soft snort escaped him. "You will not be a pre-marriage widow, that much I promise," he told her, lifting his arms so that she could lay her bare legs over his lap, settling them back down on top of them once she was comfortable. "Besides, if I die before we are married, I will not be able to experience our wedding night, which I am most looking forward to."
There was a note of mild amusement in his voice, a false innocence, and Jianyu leaned back, reaching behind him for cloth to bind Yue's hands."A wall?" he repeated, then shook his head, lifting Yue's right hand to start wrapping while the fingers of her other flitted against his bare chest. His skin tingled warmly beneath her when she shifted, leaning against him for comfort and support. "Only you would find scaling a wall something simple."
Finished with one hand, he lifted the other, wrapping that one as well. When he was finished, he set both down in Yue's lap, and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, hugging her to him for a moment.
"One week," Jianyu repeated, and kissed the top of her head affectionately. "Then I will be able to call you my wife."
Since her hands were done, he moved to the cut on her stomach. He leaned back, scrutinizing it for a moment. It was not really bleeding, but it was red, and cleaning was still necessary. Jianyu reached for the damp cloth again and dabbed against Yue's abdomen for a few moments before reaching for more bandages.
"You really need to learn how to climb properly," he said, and wrapped the bandages lightly around her midsection. Finished now, the candlelight beginning to dwindle down so that the room was bathed in a deep ember glow, Jianyu sighed, leaning back against the wall. He pulled Yue towards him so that she was sitting sideways in his lap, one hand resting against her legs, the other around her waist.
"Dreams are only that," he said softly, smoothing his palm against her upper thigh. "Dreams. They are not reality. What happens to us here and now - that is reality. Lunaria, Chishio and Yowai, my family, our friends, our marriage...that is reality, that is what is real. Not me dying. That will not happen, Yue. I know Lunaria is a dangerous place right now, and there are many things that put me - put both of us in danger, but I swear to you that I will not die. I will not leave you alone."
There was a pause. Jianyu closed his eyes briefly, his head back against the wall as he exhaled a long breath. "We fear similar things, Yue. I could not bear to live without you, just as you wish to not live without me. But my fear does not limit me; I will live and I will fight for you."
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Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 7:34 pm
Yue was happy to note that the cuts were much smaller than they appeared with the blood and grit out of them. She was a little annoyed that she had taken her gloves off; if she had been wearing her leather gloves, this never would have happened to her hands. The palms were abnormally soft for a Meteor-hammer user, because she wore fingerless gloves all the while to make handling the cord easier on her, and improve motion. They got uncomfortable if she slept with them on, though.
Yue grinned with mischief in response to his gentle and firm tone. "Why, you gonna have to scold me if I injure myself over you?" she asked. "If so, I'm not sure it's an adequate threat..! Hey, you should give me a reward for being good, instead," she tried, winking. When was she ever good? Especially where Jianyu was concerned.
Then, sighing and relinquishing her natural need to play word games and tease him, she said "I promise I'll be more careful, Yu." Sometimes Yue would sacrifice her pride. Only for him, though. Everyone else be damned. Yue was Yue, and that was enough justification for her.
The snort made her grin. His amusement made her feel content. The cuts on her hand stung a little as she insisted on moving her fingers in a way that occasionally tugged at the torn skin, but apart from that, they were relatively unnoticeable. As he suggested he was looking forward to the wedding night, Yue snorted, and then burst into laughter, covering her mouth with her hand immediately to stifle the sound. It was late, and she didn't necessarily want them to get caught, nor did she want to wake up Jianyu's parents. She loved them as much as she loved Yowai and Chichi, and would hate to ruin their sleep."It will be a memorable night," Yue said, "and one which I've been looking forward to for a long time," smiling wryly. She took the opportunity to admire him again, biting lightly on her lip.
For a moment, Yue considered lamenting how long a week would feel, but she didn't bother; it made her think of the time she had spent without him before that, and a week was nothing to wait. Besides, being made to wait could be fun. Just not being made to wait too long. It would probably just be a bad idea to keep their engagement much longer than it was. They were stubborn and decisive Lunarians, and the plans had been set in motion. "And you'll be my husband," she said quietly, her voice hushed. The fingers of the hand Jianyu had freed up played with the holes in his pants, darting into the ones which were big enough to allow her access without ripping them wider. She would wriggle her finger into the hole, brush against his skin and move to the next one.
Yue was apparently the kind of individual who did need to be constantly in motion.
Her stomach tightened as he dabbed her abdomen with the cloth. Even though it was such a businesslike effort, it still made her want to press closer to him. "Hey! I resent that," she protested, grimacing, "I can climb properly. Climb properly, my a**..." Yue's voice deteriorated into amused grumbling, mock irritation. "I was frantic and half-asleep; you climb the wall after a nightmare!"
One of Yue's assets as a fighter was her size and speed, and that was the only reason climbing things so quickly was a possibility. Her strength would never be particularly astonishing, but her speed and ability to work the meteor hammer were what made her formidable.
She squeaked lightly, and stopped muttering, as Jianyu pulled her towards him so that she was sitting in his lap. She reached one hand up and played with his hair, running her hand through what she could reach as if parting dark curtains.
"Sometimes you feel like a dream," she replied. "A very, very good dream." She sighed, then, and said, "I know. It wasn't real. You are. We are. They are. Everything truly worth having, I have somehow ended up with, and.." she had no way to express herself, in the end. No way to say thank you, for promising not to leave her alone, for swearing he would not die. But she leaned up a little, propping herself up using the side of her hand, and kissed his jaw before flopping back into his lap.
Yue looked down at her hands and abdomen. "I feel like you're going to use a lot of bandages on me in our lifespan," she said.
Hearing that he feared similar things, she paused, and took a deep and slow breath. "I'm not going to let my fear hold me back," she said. "I'll be fighting by your side," she added, "so hopefully it won't be such a strenuous fight. We are the clear favourites to win, besides."
Yue nuzzled her head against his chest, planting kisses along his abdomen and whatever she could reach.
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Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 8:15 pm
In truth, Jianyu's comment about their wedding night had meant to put Yue more at ease; to at least try and make her laugh when she was so obviously shaken up by her nightmare. But it seemed it had worked; the mischievous gleam had sparked back in her eyes, and she had laughed aloud, her hand moving to muffle the sound behind her bandaged hand. "It will most certainly be a memorable night," Jianyu murmured, amusement evident in his eyes as he purposefully let them flit down Yue's body once, then back up to her eyes again. The way her skin flushed when she was pleased, her scales glowing...it was all so very Yue, and seeing her like that - not like the pale, stiff girl she had been just moments earlier - made Jianyu relieved. If she could smile that way, it eased the worry within him a little.
"Oh, I owe you a reward, do I?" he said, his leg jerking slightly as Yue poked him, the unexpected feeling making him laugh. He was not ticklish, persay, but it certainly made him jump a little. "We'll see about that, dearheart."
Jianyu's expression grew serious, however, and he sighed, absently brushing his hands over Yue's hair, which was falling free about her shoulders in deep magenta waves. He couldn't very well say that he felt as if Yue were a dream, since he had not noticed his feelings as soon as she had, but he definitely felt as if it were surreal, something too fragile that could break with just the wrong move. He was constantly on edge, wondering if Yue would turn around and say she had changed her mind, even though deep within him, he knew that she would not. However, Jianyu's irrational fears were just as Yue's - irrational, yet they both could not help having them.
"You are my dream," he told her, affectionately nuzzling the side of her head with his nose in a somewhat playful manner. "And I have that feeling too; don't worry. As a tattoo artist in my spare time, I have access to quite a bit of bandages, and I will always be there to wrap you in them when you need them."
Her comment made him snort with amusement, and Jianyu lifted a brow. "Clearly we will win," he replied, but whatever else he had been going to say was lost when he felt Yue's lips against his stomach, skimming over his torso. Everywhere she touched tingled, and Jianyu's eyes flickered. His hands found Yue's upper arms and he gripped them tightly forcing her upwards.
"Don't," he said roughly, his breathing slightly uneven, and he looked slightly dazed. "Please."
His fingers found her chin, lifting her face to his, and Jianyu kissed her, almost immediately deepening it, his tongue slipping in to taste her. Carefully, so as to not hurt her, Jianyu slowly lowered Yue down onto his sleeping pallet without breaking the kiss, propping himself up above her on his arms so that he did not lay on her injured stomach.
It was not so much the desire to monopolize his fiancee, though that was a small part of it; it was more of a reminder to the both of them that they were still alive, still breathing, and that this was not a dream at all.
Lost in the kiss, Jianyu did not know how much time had passed. When he finally pulled away, the light in the room had grown dimmer, the candle nearly completely out now, the scent of fire and smoke wafting throughout the room. Ducking his head once more, Jianyu's lips found the area where Yue's jaw slid into her neck, and he bit her gently, as if marking her.
"There," he whispered hoarsely, and smiled down at her in the near darkness. "Your 'reward' for being good."
Then he promptly rolled sideways off of her, turning to lay over his side and drape an arm around her waist, pulling Yue's back against his chest. "If you want to, you may sleep here tonight," he said quietly. "Not because you are worried for my safety, but because I want you to have good dreams and wake up remembering that I am alive and well."
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Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 10:35 pm
His comment had certainly worked. Yue Lao was largely back to normal. The thought had made her so content that the rest of the nightmare had been erased. Only Jianyu had helped her like this since her nightmares became regular occurences. For a while, she had a relatively dreamless sleep; or rather, she slept but did not remember her dreams. There was one dream, back when he first proposed, and then another a few nights later, but they were both good dreams. Sweet dreams.
"A memorable night, indeed. One of many," she agreed, grinning even wider, but growing increasingly red as Jianyu looked her up and down. If she had known that smiling again was all it would take to reassure him, she would have done so earlier. If she had been able, anyway. In truth, when she first arrived, she was gripped by one of the few irrational terrors she had experienced in her life. She loved Jianyu, with every inch of her heart, mind and body. So to dream that he was dying and she could do nothing had petrified her. Well, not petrified; it was motion that defined Yue's fear.
Yue Lao laughed again, lighter, as his leg jerked under her poking. She would have to do that more often, as it was fun. Being called dearheart, though she had not thought on it before, made her feel the change more than almost anything. She was that to him too, now. And she thought that perhaps sometime she would have a new, good nickname for Yu.
As he grew serious, she became a little more still. She leaned back into his hands as he brushed them over her hair, enjoying the feeling. It was unbound again. Only he had really seen her like that, outside of Chishio and Yowai. It was a feminine aspect which she typically did not display in public. Yue had only really understood her feelings for Jianyu because Yowai was so careful to scold her for denying them. Yowai was very direct, and disliked having to go around problems. So she had flat out told her daughter. And that was pretty much the only reason Yue had been able to identify the feelings.
It would have made her feel more at ease, to know that Jianyu also had irrational fears. She could not help hers, but she at least knew they were irrational. But to know that he had them too, it would feel less like a weakness. She smiled gently as he told her that she was his dream, her smile deepening as he nuzzled the side of her head. She nuzzled back, carefully, softly. "What will I do when you need bandages? I suppose I can get them from my mother," she said. "Chichi always has bandages around. If you couldn't guess, I was pretty consistently getting myself injured when I was little." When she was little. She had never talked to anyone about her youth, before. Not a single soul.
Her own breath caught in her throat as he asked her not to kiss his stomach. She stopped, and her own breath grew ragged. As he tilted her face up, and kissed her, deepening the kiss and slipping his tongue in, she responded in kind, tasting him in return. She felt him lower her down, smiling as they kissed, her hands holding onto his sides, brushing the bare skin tentatively, exploring him. She stopped herself before she was too persistent for either of them, holding her hands still. There would be time for this, and more-- but not while he had asked her so nicely to behave. The kissing was not helping her resolve any, though. How much time passed, she did not know. If she had asked for a reminder that they were alive and well, together, that would have been perfect.
As it was, she felt comforted by the scent of the candle and the fire, soothed by the dark light. "That... was my favourite reward. Ever. What else can I do to be rewarded?" she asked, teasing. As he rolled sideways, she cuddled into his chest, making sure her body was as close to his as possible, fitting in neatly.
"I do want to," Yue replied, her voice quiet, grateful. She did not want to leave him there, she didn't want to walk home in the cold and the dark to sleep alone. Although the rafters were her haven, lately she had been a new degree of happy and comfortable so long as she was near Jianyu. She knew she was safe, wherever he was. "If that's alright," she added, and then quickly, "and even if it's not, I'm still staying." Stubborn, though she knew he had just invited her anyway. She held onto his arm with one hand, and pressed into him a little closer. As if she could even get closer.
"I hope I dream of you," she whispered. Yue smiled, because she felt light, dizzy. Happy.
Who but her fiance could turn a nightmare into a sweet dream?
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Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 11:01 pm
He loved the way she felt wrapped in his arms. Under normal circumstances, Yue was strong, a confident young woman with an easygoing, bright nature who could not sit still and who was constantly on the move, looking for anything, everything. And Jianyu loved that about her. But he also loved the moments when she felt small and secure and safe, when he could cradle her and cherish her, feel as if he were holding something incredibly special in his embrace - and he was.
"Let me tell you a little secret, dearheart," Jianyu murmured into Yue's ear, allowing himself to n** at it playfully, skimming his lips just beneath it as he spoke. "All you have to do is speak, and you'll be rewarded."
His hand rose and gently brushed lazily up and down Yue's bare arm, almost tickling her. The warmth of the room was making him drowsy again, and he nestled in towards Yue, again letting her use his arm as a pillow, hand beneath his head. His free hand moved back down her arm until it reached her hand that rested on her hip, and he linked his fingers through hers there.
"You're quite addicting, you realize this?" he told her conversationally. "I never can seem to keep my head clear when you're around. Why is that? Before I realized my feelings, I was quite capable of being around you without wanting to devour you. Now all of a sudden I seem to be incapable of restraining my desires. You are quite a maddening girl."
This was all said with amusement, however, and Jianyu moved his hand to Yue's waist, carefully turning her over so that she faced him now and he could see her expression. "I want you to stay," he said quietly. "Because I do not want you to be afraid."
The idea of Yue having such vivid nightmares made him nearly anxious; Jianyu was still getting used to the idea of marrying Yue, though he had grown very fond of the idea of being her husband. However, it took some getting used to, being responsible for another person. Jianyu needed to make sure that he was able to do so for Yue; to be there when she needed him, to hold her safe and warm and wipe away her tears, keep away her fears.
"Once more," he whispered, bringing his hand up to rest it tenderly against the side of Yue's face, barely visible in the dwindling candlelight. "To remind you that this is where I am." He moved his hand to her shoulder, fingers curling around her upper arm as he ducked his head, pressing his lips to the place where Yue's heart was. Then he raised his face, sighing into Yue's neck as he hugged her.
"I have no need to dream of you," he murmured into her hair. "Because I have the real thing right here in my arms."
Carefully he maneuvered Yue around again so that once more her back was against his chest and they were pressed together so tightly it was nearly impossible to tell where one began and the other ended. He let his leg rest atop hers, tangling them together, his arm around her waist.
"Shall I tell you a story?" Jianyu said with a quiet laugh which grew slightly somber as he added, somewhat hesitantly "I remember...I remember I told you one, that night we were attacked."
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Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 11:31 pm
Every time he teased her in some way, be it when he pinned her still; brushed his lips against bare skin; nipped at her neck, or her ear; she felt her stomach tense up, her breathing grow faster. Her heart seemed to pause, waiting for his touch. "But I talk all the time," her voice a trace in the dimly lit room, "so I hope I don't tire you out."
Every time he moved his hand down her bare skin, and when he nestled in towards her, she felt her breath catch, waiting for whatever he would do next. She let go of the tension as he linked his hand through hers. The pause was brief, however, as his next words made her press into him again. "It's all or nothing, Yu," was her amused, soft answer. Her voice seemed breathy, as if she could not get enough air. "I shouldn't tell you to go ahead and devour me, right? I should say 'no, I am innocent and we must be good!'" she seemed to ramble, her voice containing her smile. She squeezed his hand.
"I can't keep my thoughts straight when I'm with you, either." Yue Lao admitted it to him. It was true; before he had discovered his feelings, she had settled for very little affection. The most she got was the occasional friendly kiss he would bestow upon her cheek or forehead. Hugs whenever he saw her. That was what she had subsisted on, since she met him. Something about him made her not want to follow her usual pattern; once, she would have stolen affection from whoever. But the more she got to know him, the less that seemed desirable.
Now, curled up against him in the dimly lit room, she understood why. When you loved someone, to be touched by anyone else seemed insignificant, if not repulsive. When he turned her to face him, she slipped in close and slid one of her legs between his lightly, so that she could tangle them up, while keeping her torso far enough away that he could comfortably see her expression. Many things flickered across her face: relief, love, sleepiness, contentment. Respect. Hope. A slew of emotions which she didn't even know could co-exist.
She never expected him to be responsible for her. In fact, she likely would not have understood the notion had he explained it. She had always been responsible for herself, as she suspected he was responsible for himself. They would care for each other because they loved one another, and for one to be in pain meant they were both in pain. So it was natural to care for each other. Still, she wouldn't want him to feel as though it was a burden he would have to carry. She was very chaotic, and tended to get injured easily. It would be a rather stressful experience for her future husband if he had to take care of her every time she managed to do something stupid. Still, having him to hold her, to bandage her stupid wounds and tell her it would be fine; to have his kisses, and his embraces; Yue did not take any of these things for granted. She would hold on, and tightly.
Her breath caught in her throat as he kissed over her heart. She was unable to move, because if she did, she felt like she wouldn't stop moving. So she took a deep, even breath, as soon as she was able. "I hope I am where you are often," she exhaled.
She began to grumble as he moved her around so that her back was to his chest. It was extremely comfortable, however. If he could hear what she was mumbling, she was complaining about how she would definitely get him back next time. Definitely. He kept stealing all these kisses, nibbling, caressing. It was all extremely tempting. When he put his leg back over hers, so that they were tangled again, she smiled widely, closing her eyes so that he encompassed her.
"Please, Yu. I would love to hear another story." She remembered the first story, because it had helped her get to sleep on many nights since. A boy and a snake, and a kindness which had created happiness between individuals, and families for generations. "You sound unhappy, Yu," she mumbled, seeking his hand out in the dark with hers.
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Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 11:58 pm
"I highly doubt you will tire me out," Jianyu said, in a voice laced with amusement. He had very little doubt they were still acting like two moonstruck teenagers, what with all of the stolen kisses, the touches, the playful affections, but they had a week - only one week before they were to be married, one week more of waiting. And while he was waiting, Jianyu was going to spend as much time with the woman he loved as possible. "And no," he added in low, rough whisper over Yue's ear, his voice barely audible. "No, you should not ask me to devour you. Be good, please, I beg of you, for one more week."
He was including himself in that question, since he had been serious about being addicted; he craved her attention, her very breath, her heart. He wanted to always feel the pulse beat beneath her skin, feel the way her heart thumped against her chest, the way she smelled, tasted, felt...it was quite ludicrous, if Jianyu stepped back to look at it. A few weeks ago if someone had suggested he would be acting like this, he would have scoffed in disdain, or perhaps even gotten irritated. But now...
"Stop your mumbling, silly love," he said, and grinned against the back of her neck, and shifted a bit, accidentally-on-purpose brushing his fingers against her bare leg as he did so before draping his arm back around her, hand pressed against Yue's abdomen to keep her close. "I told you; you will not be able to get me back. I am quite the victor in this round."
The last light of the candle flickered out, the room plunging into complete darkness now. The only sounds were that of the faint chirping of the crickets outside, the low rumble of thunder in the distance, and their own breathing, quiet and steady. Jianyu frowned in the blackness, exhaling slowly and moving his hand to grasp Yue's searching fingers.
"Not unhappy," he corrected her gently. "Bittersweet, perhaps. Sad. Remembering that night reminds me that I have much to learn."
He did not want to remember how foolish he had been; he had not seen the man that had stabbed his side, leaving behind a three inch scar on Jianyu's right side. It was not the first, nor the last, nor would it be the last, but it served as a constant reminder of the constant vigilance he needed to have; a vigilance that would only be magnified tenfold once he was married.
"Once upon a time," Jianyu whispered. "There was a fierce warrior that lived in a small village beside a lake. Now, this warrior was a good man with a kind heart, but he knew little about the world and spent too much time focusing on fighting. The art of war consumed him.
"One day, he was walking beside the lake when he heard a voice calling to him beckoning. When he turned around, there was a beautiful woman sitting in the water, her hair the color of blossoms.
'What can I do for you, milady?' asked the man, and the woman shook her head. 'Nothing.'
"The warrior was confused. 'Then why did you call me?' he inquired of her, but she simply smiled knowingly and gave a little laugh.
'I just wanted to speak,' she said. 'I have much time and no one to talk to. Won't you come join me, just for a spell?'
"The warrior was slightly wary at first, but eventually he decided that it would do no harm to sit a while. And so he did, and listened to the woman's story. She told of far away lands, travels and adventures, and soon the warrior found himself immersed in the stories. When she was finished, he asked if he could return.
'Any day you want,' said the woman with another smile.
"For over a year the warrior went to visit the woman beside the lake. His thoughts turned to things other than the warring he had grown so used to, spending time away from the fighting in order to hear more of the woman's stories.
"One day he came and she was not there. Frantically, the warrior searched for her, desperate to find out where she had gone, but to no avail. The man went back to his home, and despondent he sank into a fit of despair.
"A few days passed. Then one day, while he was in the darkness of his own room, the warrior felt someone tap his shoulder, and when he looked up he saw the woman standing over him, smiling.
'Come,' she said to him. 'You are my moon and I am your sun.'
The warrior stood, hardly daring to believe his eyes, but it was her. Instantly the man fell to his knees, proclaiming his love for his sun.
'Come,' said the woman again with a laugh. 'My love has been yours since the beginning. Come.'
And so he went, both of them hand in hand. One guided the night, kept the travelers safe and in the right direction, while the other shone brightly, creating warmth wherever she went."
There was a moment of silence following this. Then Jianyu said
"All right, I might have made that up on the spot."
His laughter dissipated, his expression growing soft in the darkness. "I will be your moon if you will be my sun, Yue Lao."
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Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 12:28 am
For one more week. Yue Lao could be good for a week, couldn't she? She could not even imagine a longer engagement, however, if this was what had happened so fast. It was the texture of his voice, rough and quiet, which made her press closer to him, her heart pounding. Even though she did intend to be good, a significant part of her wanted to know exactly what would happen if she wasn't well-behaved. "I won't ask, then-- for one more week. But then, no mercy," she said.
Yue Lao, for her part, would have laughed until it hurt if anyone had said just weeks ago that her Fierce warrior would propose to her, could love her so intensely, would return her feelings with such insistence. Normally, she wouldn't go find him to steal kisses or press herself into him, but as soon as she saw him, she needed to be closer. She needed to be as close as she could get, to touch his skin, drink him in. Even if she tried to be good, it didn't seem to work. She could tell herself thousands of times, create a mantra for it: I will not press his mouth to mine, I will not run my hands across his bare skin. I will not press his mouth to mine, I will not run my hands across his bare skin. The mantra would have to be much longer to cover all of the ways in which she wanted to touch him, to be close, however.
She laughed when he called her silly love. The sound was deeply content, welling up from some reserve inside her. Her shiver as he brushed across her bare leg made her press her body into his a fraction tighter, for a moment. And even once he had settled, and pressed his hand against her abdomen, her skin was warm. She craved his skin against hers again, wanted more of it. But he had begged her to be good. So she would be good. As good as she could manage. "It's not fair when you tell me to be good so sweetly. Of course you're going to win!" she argued. Although even if he hadn't, she suspected that he would still win. Not that she would or could ever admit that.
There was something fierce and tempting in the way that he sounded so self-assured, so confident he would win. When he pinned her, or bit lightly at her neck, nibbled her ear: all of these gestures made whatever it was that drew her to him grow stronger and more urgent. The rate at which it increased was just shy of unbearable.
She was constantly learning, constantly bettering herself and her skills. That night had made her truly understand what was at stake. Everyone she loved, everything she knew. She had to fight to keep it all alive. So she would fight. And she would fight well.
She listened quietly as he told his story, thinking about the characters. In her mind, with her eyes closed, the characters played the story out. She liked the warrior, and couldn't help but smile when the story begain with a fierce warrior. After he was done telling his story, she laughed with him at first, as he admitted he made that one up on the spot. Then, she paused, trying to steady her voice enough to reply. Her brows were drawn together, though she smiled, and her chest hurt with the overwhelming emotion. "I promise to keep you warm, Jianyu. I'll be your sun until I die, and after; I'll light the way. So long as you guide me, keep me safe at night, then." Yue could hardly speak, her voice shaking in places. She hadn't been able to express exactly what she meant, but she tried.
She wanted him to know that she would be there whenever he wanted. That she would always be there, and for him alone. That for the rest of their lives, if he wanted to hold her, he could; if he wanted to kiss her, she was his to kiss. But she didn't want something like day and night to separate them.
Not only did she love Jianyu, loving him made her have to learn about the different facets of love, often very quickly. When she traced her fingertips across his bare skin, that was love. When she ran here at night, in the dark, oblivious to her own safety, that was love. When he was so tender that she felt she might tear apart at the seams, that was love. There were so many forms to it that she felt like loving him must have been inevitable all along.
"Someday I hope I can tell you a story, Yu. I'm not sure I'd be very good at it, though," Yue said, laughing a little, before her voice grew soft again. "I would have been wary of her, too, at first," Yue admitted, tangling her legs up closer with his.
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Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 8:56 am
It was difficult to comprehend that in just a week they would be married. Jianyu, who had spent the better part of his relationship with Bataar thinking he would stay with the man forever, had never once considered that he would ever wed. At the time it was because he had thought loving a man was something to hide, something that he did not necessarily need others to know about, and the prospect of marriage had not even flitted across his mind once in the entire six months he had stayed beside Bataar.
The idea of marrying Yue, however...it was in Jianyu's constant thoughts, his every waking moment nearly, spent wondering what it would be like to be married. He had seen how happy his parents were; their connection, the way they were so close and so deeply intertwined with one another that sometimes words were unnecessary. That unspoken communication passed through them easily, flowing seamlessly from one to the other, in small glances, gentle touches, a shake of the head or a furrowing of the brow. It was undeniable, the love that they shared; something wholly unbreakable, solid and steady.
He only wished his marriage to Yue would be half as complete as his parents' was. If he could manage to obtain even a fraction of their marriage, he had a feeling he and Yue would be set.
"I will always be with you, even after death," Jianyu said softy, feeling Yue's body trembling slightly, hearing the shake in her voice. "Now, forever, always. No matter where you go, I will be there to guide you. You are the only one that I love. Everything I have is yours."
He pressed his face into her hair, inhaling the scent of rosewater and flower blossoms, his arms tightening around her protectively, as if he could embrace away the sorrow, the fear, the insecurities. "Your story is already being told for you," Jianyu said quietly, smiling in the darkness. "Every move you make, each step in the direction your life goes, each word you say and every breath you breathe - that is your story, and I will spend the rest of my life and beyond listening to you tell it."
He was not certain what time it was; very late, probably seeping into early morning. Jianyu sighed, his face against the back of Yue's neck as he closed his eyes. "Sleep," he whispered, and gently stroked her arm briefly. "Sleep and dream of pleasant things and wake up to me so that I can wake up to you."
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