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 Posted: Sat Jul 30, 2011 8:07 pm
((For Talon and Scythe and their unbounded limits on randomness.))
Once upon a time, there was a mad duo that traveled the universe for whatever reason before settling down at some random school which we now know as the Nexus Academy. Well, theoretically speaking, it started with one mad person, but that's just one piece of this random discombobulated story. You could assume that it started with multiple mad people from different places and different times that eventually found their fates possibly entwined together in the future, and their lives changed forever.
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Posted: Sat Jul 30, 2011 8:36 pm
Once upon a time before the School of Pranks came into existence.....
BOOM!! CRASH!! EXPLOSHUN!!
"Ah! Oops!" A certain red haired male barely glided out of the building before it lit up like a fireworks display on an Independence Day celebration. "Hmm.... I suppose the lad's experiment didn't quite go so well." The man, who seemed to be a human in his early twenties, shrugged. His green eyes twinkled merrily. "But no harm done!" The innocent smile on the man's face did not melt away. Instead, it widened into a friendly smirk as he shooed people away from the building and commented on the beauty of the fireworks display. "It's like a giant birthday cake! That's all!" he exclaimed cheerily, disregarding all the stares in his direction and the shocked expressions that reacted to the exploding building.
Interview # XX had been a failure and thus could not be a candidate. However, Armand Orion Parr was not the least bit worried. There were plenty of people in the universe, and this particular one had just been a random stop, not someone Armand had originally on his list of people to randomly find.
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Talon StarDrifter Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Jul 31, 2011 3:42 am
Faraday stared at the firework display before her. The building had decided to scare the living daylights out of her and most of the general population by exploding. Well, a more accurate description of the event was BOOM!! CRASH!! EXPLOSHUN!! Now, Faraday the elf wasn't quite sure exactly how a building made an "exploshun" sound, but if you'd witnessed it, you would have said the same thing. However, not many people knew the exact reasoning behind such an exploshun; hell, even Faraday was hard-pressed to pinpoint the exact catalyst that had set the whole thing off. But if she had to make an educated guess, just one, she would have said one word. In a very angry, aggravated, despairing voice. "ARMAND!!!"She did say that. Well, shouted it, really. And somewhere in the distance, unbeknownst to any living soul, a tear ripped through time and space, creating a portal that would one day bring Faraday much reason to gripe and complain and rip out her hair. For now, however, Faraday was much angrier at the person laughing like an idiot before her: the aforementioned Armand. "DAMMIT ARMAND WHY WOULD YOU----" But it hadn't been his fault, really, not directly at least. Indirectly... Well, that was another story. If Armand hadn't asked Interview # XX to please "show me how to make EXPLOSHUNS", none of this would have happened. Most likely, anyway. If Faraday was any judge, she'd wager Armand would have found a way anyway. Tossing her clipboard aside in a fit of rage, Faraday marched up to Armand and barely refrained from strangling him Homer Simpson style. Not that she knew who that was. "Dammit Armand, now look what you've done! We'll never find teachers for the school now!"
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Posted: Sun Jul 31, 2011 6:27 am
"Hmm?" No harm done. They were just some fancy fireworks. Armand's merry green eyes looked toward his fuming companion, the every so fair... or not.... Faraday, who was nearing hollering at the top of her voice. The echoes of the woman's voice resounded throughout the area rivaling the sound of the pops and booms of the fireworks display and the building explosion. "Oh, you lost your clipboard, Fawa!" As if on cue, the clipboard floated back to Faraday and landed in Armand's hand all too perfectly. "Shhh... shh...patience, my dear Watson..." The prankster mage grinned from ear to ear as if it was a New Years joy or a Mardi Gras celebration. After all, the grandmaster of the school knew that there were certain qualifications that had to be met. Having the mentality to stand randomness was one. Dealing calmly or perhaps not so calmly and freaking out as Faraday was might be a consideration. "Fara...come now...you're acting like a frantic hippo!"
Off to the side in the distance perched on the balcony of a high building was a certain blonde man sipping wine and enjoying the fire works display and the building's destruction. "Hmmm....well, he was never one to please anyway."The blonde man finished up his glass of wine and smirked. "See to it that the failure is dead before sunrise," he ordered a certain slime who was dangling off the ceiling of the building.
((Start with "It's raining pies!"))
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Talon StarDrifter Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Aug 01, 2011 3:04 am
"It's raining pies!" Faraday lamented, snatching her clipboard from Armand to use as a pie umbrella of sorts, wincing as several apple pies slammed onto her umbrella. She had no idea where the pies were coming from, but somehow, someway, they were connected to Armand. She was sure of it. How could they not?
Armand's comment cut her imminent rampage short. A... what? "But how does a frantic hippo act?" Faraday asked curiously. Conjuring a pen out of nowhere, Faraday used it to scratch Interview # XX's name off the list. Well, after this, he certainly wasn't qualified for the job. He was currently running in circles and screaming. As he made another arc, he caught sight of Armand and quickly reversed, running away with his hands waving like noodles due to his speedy escape. A key lime pie nailed him in the head, however, and he went down. Was he dead? Probably not. Just in a pie-induced coma. Oh well. Faraday would contact his family after this was over.
Back in the building that hosted a rather devious, dastardly blond, the slime hanging from the ceiling squelched his appreciation. "Oh, master, you are too kind! It shall be as you say: the failure will be dead!" The slime happily released his hold on the ceiling and splattered onto the floor, somehow retaining his liquid body in one piece... er, blob? He bounced animatedly off the balcony, much like Flubber would, and landed on the ground below with a huge SPLAT. His master wanted the pie-coma man dead, and dead he would be.
[[Hm... Your opening: Aaaaaaaahhhh! Zoombies! It can be said or whatevs.]]
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Posted: Mon Aug 01, 2011 12:27 pm
Aaaaaaaahhhh! Zoombies! came a sudden scream in the midst of the pie storm and fire. People now started to panic for whatever reason. How zombies and pies could mix was something to wonder especially when the fireworks was going off so brightly that the night didn't even seem to exist. It might as well be daytime!
While Faraday was hiding under her versatile clipboard and lamenting about raining pies, Armand was just merrily spinning around and remarking, "Pie! Pie! High apple pie in the sky! Pie for everyone!" Before he could answer Faraday's question, the candidate lurched toward them and then abruptly fled only to be nailed with a tangy key lime pie. "Too much pie? Not at all! Frantic hippos love pies!" the red haired headmaster declared emphatically.
But then the situation seemed to become a little grimmer as people screamed and panicked about zombies. Some of their faces mysteriously became green as they lurched dangerous about. "Oh, dear....those zombies certainly can't zumba well!" Armand exclaimed with a grin, seemingly oblivious to the danger.
((It's a trap!))
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Talon StarDrifter Vice Captain
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Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2011 3:20 am
"IT'S A TRAP!" somebody bellowed at the top of her lungs. Oh wait, that was Faraday. The trap? The zombies. Some fool would bravely try to smite a zombie, only to have the undead explode into a thousand pies, acting like the grenades of the baking world. Faraday scuttled behind Armand, using him as a... semi-human shield to protect her from the piesploshuns. "But.... why were the hippos frantic to begin with?" Armand's assistant queried as she maneuvered around the pie battlefield, pushing Armand so that he shielded her at all times. But she knew the answer to the question - well, she thought she did. The hippos could only be frantic because Armand was doing something franticful to them. Her boss was an evil evil man... er, demon. Thing. Person. Whatever.
But as Faraday pushed her troublesome boss in front of her, something splatted against the pavement before them. It was wet and green and Faraday accidentally made Armand step in it. "Ewwwwww!" she said, wrinkling her elfy nose in disgust. The blob let off an acidic and stinky smell.
"Hey!" someone yelled indignantly. Faraday looked around, confused. "Gerroffme!" Blobby senses tingling, Faraday glanced down and to her horror the puddle Armand had stomped in was actually a living, existing blob.
((Someone fetch a doctor!))
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Posted: Wed Aug 03, 2011 12:53 pm
"Someone fetch a doctor!" Armand shouted in response as zombies exploded into pies. Hey, exploding pies were better than exploding guts!...and yummier too! Alas, exploding zombie pies still made an impression on some. As for doctor? Well, there was always Dr. Parr, Eccentrics Extraordinaire, the man who had tweaked the zombie epidemic potentially caused by a certain green slime by making the zombies explode noncontagious tasty pies.
The red head grinned as he got hit by a few pies and as he acted as the super Armand shield for his assistant Faraday. "Hmm? Haven't you ever heard of that game? Hungry hungry frantic hippos!"
But then suddenly, there was a loud squelch and splash as Armand's foot tripped into a green blob of stuff. "Oh... that's not pie!" The wily mage said with a raised brow. "Zombie goo?"
.
Then the voice squelch yelled rather indignantly. Armand looked down and moved his foot off the green goo. "Oh, a merry blobagigger! How are you, your sliminess?"
((It's 1000 miles to Chicago, it's dark out, and we're wearing sunglasses.))
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Talon StarDrifter Vice Captain
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Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2011 2:58 pm
"It's 1000 miles to Chicago, it's dark out, and we're wearing sunglasses!" the blob yelled, oozing uncomfortably around Armand's shoes until the man-thing removed his foot. "How do you think I am?!" A quick glance toward the man he was supposed to be killing showed nothing; the man was gone. Great. Will was gonna kill him. Blobbie McBlobbikins made a rage face and shook a green slime fist at Armand. "You made me lose my dinner!"
Faraday stared at the little blob, still holding Armand in front of her. Pies were flying this way and that and it just wasn't safe for an elf these days and these sunglasses were really hindering her vision so she took them off. "Armand, he's right. Take off your sunglasses. It's a long way to Chicago and we'll never get there if we can't see properly." Although Faraday couldn't quite remember ever wanting to go to Chicago, it seemed perfectly natural that she intended to start her journey tonight. "At least there aren't any hippos there, frantic or hungry." Well, she hoped.
((Oxygen deprivation will do that to you.))
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Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2011 5:08 pm
((Blobbie McBlobbikins? xd ))
"Oxygen deprivation will do that to you!~<3" Armand sang in response to the green slime's reply. "Hmm? Pie is not good enough for dinner? Why, on the the contrary, it's pie!" He nudged his sunglasses up while Faraday took her own off. "Sunglasses make you look cool, and your sliminess lacks that coolness. Stop squelching around like a frantic hippo. And yes, Chicago has frantic hippos! Fawa, you HAVE to meet them! They are quite a rarity." The red haired master mage winked as he looked at Faraday and then at the green slime. Apparently, the prankster wasn't the least bit intimidated by the slime or anything that had happened. "Now now, we can see fine....Fara..you're just tired....eat some pie!"
...but there were zombies creeping upon them....
From the balcony of a certain building, a blonde man could see a certain pie fuzzled man running toward the building. Will's eyes narrowed. It was the man that he had ordered the green blob to vaporize.
((I'll make a can out of you!))
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Talon StarDrifter Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Aug 09, 2011 11:52 am
"I'll make a can out of you!" Greenie threated, hissing acidically and rippling with anger. His master would be furious...! These two idiots towering over him weren't worth his time (though their shoes were worth a second glance) and he was losing time and patience. "I don't even eat oxygen, you worthless twit!" Bubbling disgustedly, Greenie dodged the two weirdos and weaved through the pie-laden obstacle course that had been a beautiful garden mere minutes before. Finally he spotted the man he was supposed to kill running toward the building. Screeching manically, Greenie launched himself with surprising force at the man, hitting him hard on the back of the head, causing the man to fall forward, yelling.
Faraday shook her head at Armand, apparently oblivious to the blob's new sketchy actions. "Armand, I don't want to meet frantic hippos! That sounds just terrible!" She eyed the creeping zombies and pieful ground with distaste. "Now let's get out of here - I'm sick and tired of these mother blarping zombies on this mother blarping plain!" She tugged Armand after her by the back of his shirt or whatever he was wearing, setting pies and zombies alike on fire when they got too close.
((She turned me into a newt!))
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Posted: Wed Aug 10, 2011 12:50 pm
"She turned me into a newt!" Armand suddenly yelped as the Armand body shield dispersed into that of a small four legged and one tailed creature flicking its tongue out. Somehow, the sunglasses had shrunk so it fit the newt's face. Now, the red haired prankster resembled a red haired version of the Geico Gecko. Apparently, Faraday setting fire to zombies and pies and tugging Armand had caused a chain reaction...
The mage didn't do anything to the green slob, though it and Will might suddenly notice more pies honing in on the slime. The blonde man from the balcony simply watched the pie confuzzled man toppled face down into the ground upon being tackled by the green slime. The poor pie fuzzled man was already confused enough, and was now turning a shade of green and perhaps turning into a zombie thanks to contact with the green slime. Who knew? Green slimes were zombie inducing? Will didn't care. The blonde could see smoke rising from the fallen man's skin. What the f*** is with these pies? However, he couldn't help but notice that the amount of pies flying around was now completely obscuring his vision.
Meanwhile, Faraday now had a newt perched on her head, hiding under her hair, though the sunglasses did protrude a bit, giving Faraday the appearance of possibly having a horn. The newt had scurried up her arm and settled there. "BLARP!" Mandy the newt blarped. Whatever the case, they were now leaving this world to go to another. "Let's go to Blarpville!" Maybe Chicago was on the way....
((Did you know that an ostriches brain is smaller then its eye...))
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Talon StarDrifter Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Aug 14, 2011 8:25 pm
"Did you know that an ostriches brain is smaller than its eye...?" Greenie asked conversationally as he melted the man. No reply came, save for the man's melting and crying, though those hardly counted. How rude.... The man was dead, finally, and Greenie was free to go. "Maaaastuur," he squelched in an Igor-voice, addressing Will who was no doubt keeping a close eye on him. "Have I pleased your Squelchiness?"
Meanwhile, Fara was quite miffed when she realized Armand had somehow escaped her grasp. Now there was something cold, small, and slimy inhabiting her grasp and it did not bode well... "Armand!" Faraday snapped, whirling around to address her boss. But... no one was there. She absently set a zombie on fire as she pondered this new development. But all of a sudden the cold thing in her hand scuttled up her arm and onto her head and yelled something about a newt. That sounded suspiciously like Armand... Armand was a newt. In her hair. He'd better not turn it pink. "Blarpville?" Faraday questioned flatly. "Armand, is that even a place...?" Nonetheless, Faraday started walking, dismissing the odd looks she was getting from escaping humans and running zombies.
((I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and briiiiiight! And I pity any girl who isn't me toniiiiiiight~))
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Posted: Fri Aug 19, 2011 6:52 pm
((I forget. Did we decide on who is appearing next?))
"I feel pretty, oh so pretty, I feel pretty and witty and briiiiiight! And I pity any girl who isn't me toniiiiiiight~" the newt in Faraday's suspiciously recently dyed pink hair sang as it randomly twirled around in his assistant's hair. "Of course it's a place! It's on the way to Chicago! We're off to see the Wizard! The Wizard of little Blarpville!" The newt, which was arguably rather cute, danced around on poor Fara's head, waltzing and prancing around like a king on his high horse. The newt was also somehow braiding Faraday's hair.
Despite the plight of the storming pies and the fact that Will could see nothing thanks to the sudden torrent of pie storm, the blonde man could still hear the pie fuzzled target sizzling away and Greenie squelching out in the slime's best rendition of Igor, which was actually pretty good except for the "Squelchiness" part. Who did Greenie think Will was anyway? The man wasn't a slime. "Yeah, and I'll squelch your life away if you insist on acting that way," the man mumbled as he retreated inside the room and off the balcony toward safety from the pies.
((Again, with the greatest possible respect, zip your howling screamer.))
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Talon StarDrifter Vice Captain
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Posted: Sun Aug 21, 2011 1:54 am
((D'uhhh... I dunno. eek Feel free to bring anyone you want in. I'll adjust accordingly. cool ))
"Again, with the greatest possible respect, zip your howling screamer," Greenie muttered under his breath, lurching after his master, retreating from the chaos outside. Really, his master chose the most awful places to vacation... Then again, they were working, so his master chose really awful vacations in general. So much for relaxing.
.........
The tiny newt began dancing and singing in her hair which...was...now...
Pink.
Faraday stopped dead in her tracks, eyes reflecting an inner fire as she resisted the urge to throttle Armand in newt-form. "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaarmaaaaaaaand!" Farawhiner whined. Although he was braiding her hair (pink) rather impressively, the fact remained that her (pink) hair was now pink. She gingerly lifted the (fine, cute, yes, but still evil - pink!) newt from her head and brought it in front of her so that Armand could feel the full effects of her mighty glare - though whether it would bother him was still up for debate. Faraday knew he wouldn't be affected. "We are going nowhere, least of all Blarpville, if you don't change my hair back this instant!" Faraday said sternly, stubbornly stopping in her tracks.
((Oh, you immoral man of low fiber! You should really eat more bran.))
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