- Dark... everything was so dark. Life had always been this dark, this endless. Was she afraid? No, she felt oddly calm wrapped in the unrelenting darkness. She had never known anything except for this darkness. It was warm, inviting. Red dappled the black, somehow colder than the darkness. No, she wanted the light to go away... it was trying to invade, take over her lonely, dark world. This dark was what she wanted, not the light! She wanted the deep, inky blackness to surround her always. No... something was wrong. Life had not always been this dark. She was remembering, she could understand now. Life had always been so full of color and noise and beauty... the darkness somehow seemed less warm now, less inviting. Where had all of the scents of the world gone? The dusty heat and the fragrant flowers and grasses? Why could she no longer smell her brothers and her sisters and others in the savannah? Savannah? Ah, yes she was remembering that too now. Where was the bright blue sky that stretched endlessly above? The scent of warm blood was no where to be found, and it seemed as though rain would never come again.
What was happening? Ah... the dappled red light was back... yes, she should hold onto that. Focus on that. Maybe this light would lead her to more light, to brighter light and nicer things of the world. How could she have ever wanted to settled in the darkness? Life a life so desolate and lonely? She did not want that! She could not hear the call of the ocean, swaying gently at the land... bidding and pleading for her to come play in it's cool wetness. She could not hear the many birds of the savannah, or of the jungle... yes, she could remember the jungle. But why were all of the birds gone? The tickling little twitters and the shrill cries... the playful and flirty whistles... they were all gone! No... no, one was there. Yes, it seemed she could hear better once she focused on the light. And there was another, and several more... and suddenly she could hear all of the birds. She remembered. And was that the ocean, calling again? Yes! Yes, this was all pleasant and exciting. It was good. But the darkness... it seemed thinner and less suffocating- when had it become so suffocating? She wished it would fully go away. She struggled to hold onto that light, to keep it near her.
The light, and the ocean.. and the birds. Yes, she knew all of these things. They were familiar friends, dearly loved. But what of... what of what? She had lost what she'd wanted so dearly... but she was not sure what it was she'd lost exactly. She had just been thinking of it... while she thought of the dark and the light and the life she'd come to know, and the life she'd almost forgotten. But what was it? It was no use, it was best not to try and focus on that. She was supposed to be focusing on the light, finding her way back. Yes, she wanted to be back with the birds and the music and the sea. She wanted to feel the sand beneath her paws. Yes, she remembered the sand. And then it came, the flood of light. She groaned and the darkness swept in and swelled almost immediately as she shied away from the light. It was bright! So very bright... how could she stand to live in a world so light when she'd been forever in the dark?
No, she must remembered... she too walked in this world of light, once. But how long ago was it? It seemed like days past... ages... eternities.. She struggled to let the light in, this time going slowly. So slowly... she wanted to be in the world of light again, the dark seemed scary now that she remembered the light, and the life. Slowly she let the light come, and it seemed to step into the darkness itself. The dark faded, slowly let go of it's embrace on her. Little by little the darkness was defeated by the light... and suddenly the world was there before her. She grunted as she took in the sand, it seemed to stretch forever. It was the only thing she could see... yes, the sand was good. She could feel the grains against her body... her body felt sore. But it was good to feel her body again, and to feel the hard ground beneath her. A wash of cold suddenly overtook her, and dampness... yes. She remembered the cool, wet feel of the water. She was scared though, so scared. She did not understand why she was so fearful...
She finally started to pull herself up. Yes, she could sit. She remembered... she was a lion, she could move on all fours and she could take down beasts twice her size. She could purr and roar and fight! She could move... but her body felt so stiff! It had not always been this stiff, she remembered. As she sat up dazzling sights beckoned her. Yes, the trees and the sea... she was at the sea. She took a deep breath, it was as if it was the first breath she'd ever taken. The salty air filled her lungs and her nose and it seemed almost as if it filled her vision as well. There... a little creature moving oddly sideways toward her. It's lovely and bright red- red, she remembered- shell... a crab. That creature was a crab, and she was a lion. She looked slowly around, blinking in the bright light of day. All of the birds that had seemed so pleasant and wonderful before... and the ocean's water swaying against the shore... the breeze through the leaves... these sounds assaulted her ears. It was almost too much, the swell of noise and sights and scents...
It took her a long time to calm herself, to understand that this was a world she'd always been a part of. It took her longer to finally stand, to stretch out dull and stiff muscles. She was awake now... but how long had she been asleep? And something was still wrong... so very wrong. Something was missing... her other half was missing. But she could not recall what this other half was, or what it meant. She just knew it was missing. She groaned as suddenly the hunger filled all of the hurt and pain her body was feeling... yes, she could remember hunger. She could remember hunting, and blood and flesh and filling the hunger. The first thing she needed to do was to hunt... Her gaze floated over the sands and she took another deep breath of air. The crab was there... so close to her. She moved toward it slowly, but it seemed to make the creature nervous. It began to scuttle away from her. She moved faster than the crab. When she arrived at it she tapped it with a paw curiously, and that paw pulled back twice as fast as the little creature snapped at her with it's odd paws. No, not paws... these things are claws. Yes, she remembered this too.
Her paw shot out and she flipped the crab over. Before it could get away she smashed her paw into it, killing it. Death... though she instantly went for the little meat the sea creature provided she found herself crying over it, sad that it had to lose it's life just because she needed the food. She knew why this affected her so, it was right there at the edge of her mind. She was afraid to fully know, to bring the fact into the light like she'd struggled to come into. You need to... her thoughts whispered at her, and so she let herself know.
"I... have almost died..." Her voice cracked, sounding raw and unused. Yes, she had almost died... how she could not know, and why she did not know either. But if she'd stayed longer in that darkness... surely she would be no more. "Thank you crab... thank you.." She cried out, and then moved from the beach. She needed to work the strength back into her limbs, she needed to hunt something more. She needed to find what was missing... how would she ever find what was missing?
