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 Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 9:25 pm
Umm ok before i start off, I really had no idea where else to put this and kinda wondered if i should even say anything but what the hell here goes nothing. Something to note, i write this here really because....well i need to just say it somewhere...an hopefully to someone who would listen
I've only recently come to terms with being Bi, still coming to terms with liking myself. I tried talking to parents about it....didnt get anywhere near the support or talk i'd hoped for. More so the whole, "You got turned down a lot(i'll be 20 in a few days and never been in a relationship)/ your just acting out/ you have some social things that havnt developed etc" So i ended the talks with silence, saying whatever and trying to drop it.
Turned to friends and well, they said cool this changes nothing, but i really dont feel i can bring it up around them.
So time went on, i kept my feelings to myself and stuff was normal for a while.
Well today it came up again, and this time i couldnt physicaly walk away from it(had knee surgery, couldnt get off the couch). Basically had to sit and listen to my mom telling me it wasnt me, she knew it, dont i want to keep the family line going, im just trying to be weird, im desensitizing myself, its not normal, essentailly saying she'd have no support for me. Now i dont know why but today it kinda just hurt more than normal and the realization hit me that....i really kinda dont have anyone to talk to about anything like this. Friends feel uncomfortable, Family (save for my little brother who really is little help) doesnt support it so.... I guess just wondering if anyone else experineces the same thing and how they deal with it.
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Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 9:40 pm
Hmm...that's a tough situation :/ your mother shouldn't act like that. Maybe she just needs to let her anger out about it...I dunno.
Sorry I can't give more advice :/ if you need anything, you can message me or something, and I'll try to help. I'm sure anyone in this guild is willing to help you as well smile
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Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 9:47 pm
>> I hate that this happens so much with people who are supposed to be there for you. *hugs*
With mine I just tune them out or leave though if everyone's around I sometimes stay and take it hiding the fact that I'm crying. I don't really have any friends irl and all my online friends are very accepting so I usually find solace in them whenever my relatives get me down.
But hey just come here whenever you're upset. We'll perk ya up. ^^
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Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 9:52 pm
*hugs*
thank you both
I usually am able to tune her out its just... today just hurt. I trust my parents with most things too....
my moms really one of the more traditional "oh i cant wait to be a grandparent one day" types....
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Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 10:02 pm
You're welcome.
:/ I don't think my mother was ever ready to be a parent. Totally sucks at it.
But yeah I understand what you mean. Its the great life, all fine and dandy, until you find the one little cog that brings it all down.
Eeeeh maybe that was too dark.
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Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 10:21 pm
I think the best thing to do in situations like this is to sit your mother down and tell her how you feel. I know it's corny sounding and it was in a few movies, but parents are idiots. They don't seem to remember how confusing it was growing up or how peer pressure makes someone feel. And by 'peer pressure' I don't mean everyone doing drugs and stuff. I mean walking down the street and seeing couples everywhere you go. It gets kind of depressing even if you don't realize it and having anything make you upset around the same time can be the final straw. The best thing you can do if she doesn't listen is to shut down and let her see how much she's harming you.
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Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 10:40 pm
I tried....and she kind of turned it on me
I told her about a hard time i went through (both parents missed it) now every action i've taken thats not "normal" is a reaction to that time. The talk turns to how i "used" to be and then i hear from my dad later that my mom's been secretly crying. (why i dropped it the first time) My mom's completely convinced im not bi or gay because she says she knows me but all her points are things i've thought of allready.
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Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 10:43 pm
v.v Have you considered just moving out?
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Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 10:50 pm
I'm so sorry, and wish I could do something to help.
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Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 10:51 pm
yes but i dont have a job
cant afford school (trying to be an art major/game design)
i've been offered a place before but....this is like really the only problem i've ever had with my parents... an the first one my dad kinda threatened me with moving out on.
I wished to get out on my own just to be on my own but i cant afford school
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Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 10:58 pm
*sigh* I know that feeling all too well. I've wanted out for a long time but just have terrible luck with getting hired. x.x
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Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2011 11:10 pm
I know I am not giving you any helpful
advice, but I kind of wish I had someone
to tell me this regardless.
There is nothing wrong with you. You are
perfect, and you are so beautiful and you
seem to be a nice, decent human being
so you must have at least a decent soul.
Your mother is judgmental by only what
little information she knows about what it
means to be bisexual, which, when in fear
people are bound to do stupid things which
also leads into saying stupid things they
don't mean.
Please, PLEASE never let anything anyone
says about you, most of all your parents, get
in the way of loving yourself for who you are and
what you are. It may not help your situation, but
I wanted you to know that someone out there
thinks you are wonderful just the way you are. :3
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Posted: Fri Jul 15, 2011 12:34 am
Thank you
It's 3:30am and I decided to check Gaia
Glad I did, I'm actually a little choaked up and in tears now. With what I had been thinking only a few moments ago I really needed this. Thank you so much
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Posted: Fri Jul 15, 2011 12:39 am
sweatdrop I would have said it first but didn't wanna seem corny.
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Posted: Sat Jul 16, 2011 12:36 pm
eh its cool. X3
i know the feeling
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