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 Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 8:57 am
вєαтяιx 'вєє' мαℓℓσяσץx
The Schoolgirl  Name: Beatrix Malloroyx
Nickname: Ginger mainly. Kiddo at times. Bea by some.
Age: 18
Birthday: 12th November
Sign: Scorpio
Gemstone: Amethyst
Blood Type: A+
Fav. Food: Anything hot! Chilly, Curry, Super Hot Source! Bring it!
Hated Food: Cucumber, Tofu, Cereal, Anything tasteless and bland!
Occupation
In England Bea started college at the tender age of sixteen before going on to do a two year course in hair and media make-up, specialising in monster making and horror prosthetics's. From there on she started looking for a job and caught the eye of some foreign movie maker from a place named Destiny City. He offered Bea the chance to train and gain work experience at his studio and the feisty young teen quite literally jumped at the chance. In a flash she was in contact with her auntie and a few weeks later she was on a plane half way across the world. However when she got there she soon realised that she was not actually set to live in her auntie's family home, she was moving in with her cousin Venice who she had not seen since she was a little kid. Bea works as a make-up assistant and general trainee at the studio of a small film group and is hoping to one day take her skills to Hollywood.
Hobbies:
Make-Up:; Bea has always loved make-up, however not in the traditional sense. Where as some girls like to make themselves look pretty, Bea loves nothing more than to actually make people look ugly, it is more challenging and generally more interesting. To most make-up is but to Bea is is a art medium unlike any other, making characters and monsters come to life is her passion. For as long as she can remember she has been a huge fan of horror and fantasy which is what originally sparked her desire to become a make-up artist.
Gymnastic's:; Her mother was a champion when she was younger and went on to teach her own class at Bea's local gym. Bea used to go straight to training after school and partake in the class before her and her mother set of home together. Almost eight years of training means Bea has gained quite a taste for the sport and has won a few medals in her time. It was a chance for her and her mother to spend some quality time together and now she is in Destiny City she uses the sport to feel a little closer to her mother. Back home she was nicknamed 'Queen of the Beam' because it was the piece of equipment she did the best on.
Paint Ball:; For some reason all of Bea's friends seemed to be much older than her and the ones who were not all seemed to have fake ID or at least seemed to look it. Since she could not get away with going to the pubs the red head found another way to spend her Saturday nights, dressed up, in the woods with a gun in hand. It was love at first sight and since day one she has found herself hooked. Now she goes every chance she gets and is really hoping that she can find somewhere in Destiny City that will accommodate her need to shoot people in the nads.
Punk Rock:; Bea likes her music loud and brutal. It actually helps her concentrate and gives her a sound track to follow, like many teenagers she goes to concerts, owns quite a bit of band merchandise and is always up dancing around way past her bedtime. She even bought a bass guitar however soon after realised she has no rhythm what so ever, now it is just a trophy that she carries around which she 'claims' to be able to play.
Virtues:
Loud:; Bea is a smart-a** who always seems to have a answer for everything. She is sharp and quick to retaliate if someone is trying to take the piss. Her big mouth has gotten her into trouble a few times but in a argument is the one and only weapon that she can rely on. She is not the kind of person to let people walk all over her and if someone says something she does not like she will stand up for herself. She has always been somewhat of the class clown and people seem to warm to her sense of humour and outgoing nature. She is confident and not afraid to say what she is thinking no matter what consequence's might occur.
Hyperactive:; Bea is full of energy, partly down to the insane amount of red bull she goes through a day but mainly down to her own fiery spirit. She can run on a couple of hours sleep and spend the rest of the day on her feet whizzing about at one hundred miles a hour. She is a very hands on girl and feels the need for everything to be done right this moment. She is always seen with a smile on her face and is constantly looking for some kind of adventure to go on. Mainly because she is the kind of person who get bored very easily, there is never a dull moment when you are around Bea, that's for sure.
Fighter and Coach:; Bea always stands up for herself and supports her friends but has never been the kind of person to fight someone else's battles. However she will always encourage people to stand up for themselves and not let others them as a doormat. Over the years Bea has learned to call on her own strength to see her through hard times and has learned to take care of herself. She sees the tough love approach as the only way that anyone will grow and overcome their difficulties. She will never loose faith in someone and she will always be in their corner, yet that is about as far as she will ever go unless the matter is quite literally life or death.
Open:; Bea sees lies and secrets as a weapon that people use to complicate things. She has never had a problem with telling people exactly what she thinks of them, be them friend or foe. You will always get a honest answer with Bea, she has always cut out all the bullshit and this in itself is a reason why people come to her for advise. With her what you see is what you get and if you do not like it then it is not her problem. I guess the truth really can suck sometimes, yet if someone needs to hear that they are being a douche then she will tell it straight.
Flaws:
Rebellious:; Bea has never been one to respect authority and sees rules as something what are meant to be broken. She did not understand why that position and age makes anyone better than anyone else and sees her respect as something people should earn. If she sees a sigh saying 'no walking' she will make a point of going out of her way just to walk there as if to say 'what you going to do about it?' If she is told she can not do something that task suddenly becomes like forbidden fruit and it haunts her dreams and corrupts her thoughts until she just can not resist anymore.
Short Attention Span:; Bea is kind of the person to drift off mid conversation, if something is boring her she simply does not give it the time of day being it activities or people. She likes to make friends with interesting and unique people and if she sees you as plain she will not like you for that reason alone. Her brain needs to stimulated constantly if you want to get her to do anything and if something is not worth her while she will not do it, simple as.
Impulsive:; Plan? What plan? Bea has never been one to think ahead and work out how her actions will affect herself and others. When she gets something in her head there is very little convincing her not to chase after it. To her the most important moment is the presence and does not really look to tomorrow. She is good at making decisions on the spot and always jumps into a situation head first. Generally people who are all about strategy and preparation annoy her, because sometimes things need action, not words.
Vain:; Bea works in a industry that is about looks. When in college it was beaten into her that no-one wants to have make-up and beauty treatments done to someone who looked unkempt. Even though she wanted to work in creative make-up she was expected to make the same standards and now grooming comes as a habit. She spends a unreal amount of time in making sure she looks perfect, on top of this Bea always liked to brag when given the chance which makes it even harder for her to prove the fact she is not self obsessed. She honestly hates it when people says she is.
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Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 8:58 am
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Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2011 9:00 am
Open to posting and suggestions!
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Posted: Sun Jul 17, 2011 6:05 pm
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Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 6:12 am
PLAGUE <3 Love the sphere already!
Though... we get an awful lot of info on her flaws, but not her virtues! Can you expand upon her virtues so they get the same amount of explanation? I think that would really help flesh her out for us more. n_n
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Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 6:18 am
Lucifer Force PLAGUE <3 Love the sphere already! Though... we get an awful lot of info on her flaws, but not her virtues! Can you expand upon her virtues so they get the same amount of explanation? I think that would really help flesh her out for us more. n_n
I need to do a lot more work on her virtues ; n ; I guess flaws are a lot easier to write about. I need to work on extending them - after I do my tags I might sit down and then really tackle them in some way.
Thank you for taking a look!
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Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 9:01 am
Matisha to save the day!!! 8DQuote: Witty - Bee is a smart kid despite common belief, she has a good head on her shoulders and seems to absorb information like a sponge. If she hears something once then it is imprinted in her mind forever. She is the kind of girl who always has a smart answer for everything and is often very comical in the way she addresses people and problems alike. Quote: Self Motivating - Bee is either excited or she is dead. Calm and reasonable are both not words that you can really describe her as however her endless amount of energy always keeps her and all those around her on their toes. She is always up to having fun, if you want to do something why not just do it? She likes to live life to the full and is always looking for the next adventure or the next hurdle to jump. She is a happy kid, when she gets scared or gets upset she is able to pick herself up and instead of dwelling on a situation instead she puts her optimism to use by trying to fix it.
Again you can put a history of why she may be like this. With her high IQ being known was she always left out of things, the last to be chosen in a team because everyone thought she was just a book worm and not good at anything else. Did she decide to act big and brave so people would notice her for being something more? To be the first to jump off a cliff because that way people would see a side to her that wasn't just hidden behind a book but a fun and loving side? Also does she ever force this side of her to over come the mature side, she is smart enough to know what is wrong and when not to do things but to be this fun loving person I can see emotion turmoil when she knows she shouldn't be doing something!Quote: Resilient - A girl who is hard to keep down, Bee has learned that some people are just assholes and more so when someone or something gets you down you need to stick your heels into the ground hard and show them that you will never surrender.
To expand on this try and think of when they may be used from day to day life, how her friends see her, how she sees herself and soon you will have lots to add! Hope this helps!! <3
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Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 4:16 pm
WOOT THANK YOU XDDD
It has come along leaps and bounds because of that crit Mati!
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Posted: Mon Jul 18, 2011 8:20 pm
All that is left is my spelling and grammar, I KNOW IT SUCKS OKAY! Going to do that in the morning!
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Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2011 9:42 pm
FINALLY GOT IT DONE! In parts. General InfoNot really much to crit here, but I have to agree with her hated foods. Cereal is hamster food. Trufax. HobbiesRugby The details sound sort of truncated. Elaborate just a tiny bit. What you have now makes her sound super aggressive. However, if you wanted her to sound like a Rugby Jock, then that's cool too. Paintball Just a tiny grammatical error that tripped me up. "Alone in the words" "Should be alone in the woods" I think. Also "Not that is her idea" should be "now that is her idea". Sorry if I sound nit picky, but I figure who not sound as professional as possible? All and all she sounds very masculine. Not a crit, just an observation. I rather like her, as a matter of fact. Reminds me of my own Micah. They can both get together sometime and terrorize the boys with their intimidatingly masculine sense of aggression. VirtuesWitty This virtue feels more like a story. You have three here. Her memory first, then her wit, and then her sense of humor. I would either make separate virtues or try and focus in on one. I would personally go with the first, since you reference her "dorky side" in the next virtue. Self Motivating The name and the virtue don't really connect. What it sounds like is that Bee is more "rebelious" since she's pushing herself to be more outgoing, loud, and outrageous. It sounds like she's trying to go against the norm. Resilient Again, there really is no continuity. you have resiliency, supportive, and tough love all in one virtue. Choose one and run with it. All in all The ideas are there, I can see them. You just haven't quite polished them out yet. Also you used the term "at the end of the day" way to much. I'd recommend changing up your diction. FlawsRebelious You mentioned that she turned in much of her homework late. As someone who did the EXACT same thing... you can't maintain a healthy GPA and do that. If an assignment is late points are taken off. Besides that, if she did turn them in late and was a general brat, then the teachers you definitely grade her harder than the other students. She'd definitely flounder in class. It also sort of contradicts the first virtue, where it said she was a good student, unless I read that wrong. Rebellion also generally has a direct target. She just seems like a trouble maker. Short Attention Span FUN FACT! Goldfish actually have very good memories. Thank you myth busters! 8D That is all. No need to change anything, just a little tidbit to take to parties. Un-lady Like Your lead in is like saying "Don't be fooled by her American heritage, she's not fat, nor does she have that Texan twang her country is famous for" Unless you were going for a stereotype lead in... Unlady Like can also just mean sitting with your legs uncrossed. I'd change the name to "Tom Boy" SenshiYour first attacks seem to deal with miasma, but then the last is suddenly the bubonic. I'd do the stages of the plague, personally. There are at least 5 stages: On Day 1 the victim develops swelling in the groin and under the armpits-this would be very painful! Day 2: Vomiting and a painful fever. Day 3: The victim develops blotches all over his/her body. Day 4: The buboes burst and loads of black puss comes out. Day5 : terrible pain probably a result of death a few hours later. FUN FACT! Doctors used to place frogs on the buboes, but the sickness would make the frogs explode. Crazy, right? I'd also design the fuku around this which is what the plague doctors used to wear. Your current fuku looks far too cutsy, I'm afraid. This was a serious point in history, 2 / 3s of Europe's population was wiped out. ANOTHER FUN FACT! The descendents of the survivors of the plague actually have MUCH stronger immune systems than average.
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Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 12:50 am
Sweenys_Revenge VirtuesResilient Again, there really is no continuity. you have resiliency, supportive, and tough love all in one virtue. Choose one and run with it. FlawsRebelious You mentioned that she turned in much of her homework late. As someone who did the EXACT same thing... you can't maintain a healthy GPA and do that. If an assignment is late points are taken off. Besides that, if she did turn them in late and was a general brat, then the teachers you definitely grade her harder than the other students. She'd definitely flounder in class. It also sort of contradicts the first virtue, where it said she was a good student, unless I read that wrong. Rebellion also I think I am going to go for tough love >D haha, the main problem I have seen here is I have named most of her traits strangely, I shall fix that. Haha she was a good student once upon a time XD the English system is very different from the America, they can not take points off us for stuff like that, it all comes down to what you do on exam day. Over the last two years of high school I really did Jack all to be honest and still made it out with mainly B's at the end of it. Though I will change it to fit your countries rules. Haha at first her Fuku was going to be heavily based off of that however I think the mask would be over the top especially for her first stage so I was thinking of gradually introducing things as she went up (: Also I will do some work on her last attack (: Thanks for the crit!
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Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 8:40 pm
Well, so long as you make sure you note that the school system is different from America, then you should keep it. It makes sense that way.
xDD
And don't just change your eternal, I'd adjust them all. Like I said, the first two sound either like Miasma or Pollution, which is dangerous, since there is already a senshi of pollution. Also, the effect lasting for the duration of the battle is a bit much. It really should wear off after a while. It makes your senshi FAR too powerful. And coughing is not a symptom of the plague. You really should do your reseach on this topic. -le 12 pages paper for history last year- so that's sort of out of left field.
And her fuku doesn't need to have that hat, but make it her brooch or something. Your design is just really cute, when this is a serious topic. What you can do is just have that reference pic and tell the colorist to go crazy. It'll work. Don't forget rats were the ones that carried the plague. Well, the fleas on the rats. Incorporate the rats! AND THE CATHOLIC CHURCH! FUN FACT! During that time period the Catholic Church saw cats as the devils familiar, and so ordered that all cats be killed. Without the cats to kill off the rats, the rat population skyrocketed. The Catholic Church killed 2 / 3s of Europe. xDD Seriously, why not base it off of Dark Ages garb, since that was the time period?
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Posted: Tue Jul 26, 2011 9:01 pm
WHAT I WOULD DO!
Normal Senshi Transformation
Call | "Elara Power, Make-Up!"
Normal Senshi Attack | Black Plague Fever!
Duration | 2 posts, one post casting, one post duration. Can be used twice.
Visual | The screeching of rats can be heard to those in the vicinity before the victim is effected
Effect | The person she targets begins to feel very hot. A few seconds after that their limbs begin to ache. This will make weak opponents slightly slow, but stronger ones will be able to power through it with little difficulty.
Cooldown | Two posts after effect has finished.
Reach| Five meters.
Weakness | The fever is weak, so it can be ignored if the opponent is strong enough or has enough will power.
Origin | The second phase of the plague
Super Senshi Transformation
Call | "Elara Moon Power, Make-Up!"
Super Senshi | Black Plague Nausea
Duration | 2 posts, one casting, two duration. Can be used twice.
Visual | The shadows of rats can now be seen out of the corners of ones eye. The screeching is still audible.
Effect | The effect is almost exactly the same as her first stage attack, just with the added symptom of nausea.
Cooldown | Two posts after effect has finished.
Reach| Seven Meters
Weakness | The nausea will not actaully cause vomiting, unless, that is, the victim has a very weak stomach. For this reason it is easy to power through.
Origin | The second phase of the plague
Eternal Senshi Transformation
Call | "Elara Eternal, Make-Up!"
Eternal Senshi Attack | Black Plague Expiration
Duration | 2 posts, one casting, one duration + side effects. Twice per battle.
Visual | Spectra rats can now be seen running out in a circle at all opponents, with Elera at the epicenter, screeching and running over one another.
Effect | This is the big brother of the first two attacks. There is a painful fever combined with violent nausea, which effects whoever is within the five meter diameter
Cooldown | Four posts after main effect has ended, since its an attack with side effects.
Diameter | Five meters
Weakness | Same as her first two attacks.
Origin | Symptom's of Plague.
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Posted: Wed Aug 31, 2011 4:27 am
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2011 4:25 am
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