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Only cowards ran. Only cowards hid.

Today, Vanessa was one of them.

Except.

She was not in any shape to run, and not really thinking clearly enough to hide. The front of her shirt was soaked in blood. It was fresh, and sticky, and stood out like a target on her chest.

An intelligent person might have turned towards the hospital, where there were doctors who could tend to the wounds that Tanzanite's claws had rent through her skin.

Vulcan powered down, so that she could not be so easily traced, and turned into an alley-- towards the home of the only person she knew that lived nearby. Probably, this wasn't the wisest thing to do. Kam was only a man. He knew nothing of the Blood Moon Court, or what being one of them had put her through. There were things he wouldn't understand. Things she couldn't tell him.

But he was close, and it was difficult to to think passed the pain in her chest. The wound there throbbed with an intensity that hindered her ability to breathe. Tears threatened to pour from those golden eyes. Vanessa had already lost that battle once, and her cheeks were stained with the evidence of them. She grit her teeth so hard to keep them at bay that it sent a jolt of tension through her jaw. She cried out, clamped her teeth around her hand, and slumped against the wall of Kam's apartment building.

The words of the Phoenix rang out so loud and clear in her head that Tanzanite might as well have hunted her to this spot, and said them again.

'Have you come seeking death, child?'

No, she hadn't.

Vulcan had not gone looking for the end. She'd thought, the moment Tanzanite touched her skin, that the end had simply… presented itself to her.

But she was alive, and bleeding, and so very, very frightened.

It was late. The moon hung high and bright above the city. Vanessa hoped that Kam was home. And, if he wasn't already, that he would be soon.

Vanessa was aware, vaguely, of the sound of glass smashing into pavement and looked up just in time to see Kam rushing towards her. Relief flooded her system, mingled intoxicatingly with the pain that surged in her chest, and all but knocked Vanessa off her feet. Though she knew that somebody the likes of Tanzanite could crush Kam like a bug, there was something terribly comforting about the site of him, so big and so strong, actually concerned for her.

It was true, what he'd said. They were still friends.

She looked, when Kam bid her to look, and tried to smile. Tanzanite had done things, and Tanzanite had said things, and then Tanzanite hadn't done things. Vanessa, who was so sure that she was going to die, had been permitted to leave, and gifted with a second chance at life.

And Kam was there, holding her chin.

These things were worth smiling for. Her lips twitched and almost curved, and then promptly started to tremble.

"Oh, god, Kam," Vanessa sobbed, and those infuriating tears finally exploded over cheeks the moment he forced her to look into his eyes. She gasped, and reached out to him with shaking hands. "It hurts so much."

Her fingers, bloody from the way she'd clutched at her chest as she'd stumbled away form the wrath of the Youma Queen, found the collar of his shirt, and clung. There was strength in those arms still.

Where Kam felt helpless, Vanessa felt safe. Somehow. Inexplicably.

Kam was just a man. Vanessa knew this. Vulcan was stronger than he was, and she was nothing compared to the might of the Negaverse. She was just one lonely senshi in a sea of warriors, at odds with the world and the things that she had let happen, who'd discovered a painful sort of solace in the claws of her enemy.

Vanessa bled for Tanzanite now, sobbed her pain into Kam's shoulder when he gathered her into his arms, and felt safe. Her memory was ripe with terror, but Kam was being so careful of her. Far gentler than she probably should have asked for.

Again and again Vanessa was forced to relive the awful things that Tanzanite, who had suffered unspeakably at the hands of the Blood Moon Court, whispered into her ear.

'…Pulled off my nails and broke my fingers…'

It had revolted her, to hear, but it was something that she deserved to know.

'…Then my legs. Gunn burnt them to the bone…'

No one had asked Vulcan to participate in any tortures, but she had ignored the screams.

'…and made me feel my own death over. And over. And over…'

Vulcan's injury was nothing. It hurt, and she was ashamed of the pain. It wasn't fair, that she should find security in Kam's arms when the Blood Moon Court had deprived so many of it for so long.

But Kam made Vanessa a little bit selfish. She couldn't help herself, and so did not demand to be put back on the ground.

When she spoke her voice was soft, yet surprisingly steady, "you look so mad."

Yes, someone else had done this. Vanessa was reckless and stupid, and used to turning the violence of her temper inwards, so that the people around her did not suffer. Sometimes her fingernails cut into her palms. Sometimes she ripped her clothes, or pulled her hair.

But this?

This was different. No amount of self-punishment could have eased the rage that Ares's blind ambition had wrought. Tanzanite had not forgiven her, but she had been allowed to live. And so Vulcan had knelt, like an obedient child, and let herself be cut. She'd screamed, because of course she'd screamed, but there was no real regret.

Kam wouldn't understand.

"I can't tell you," she murmured, and made a soft sound when those strong arms tightened around her smaller frame. It went against her nature to lie, especially when Kam was so obviously concerned, but Vanessa knew that honesty would do more harm than good here. "I… don't know who they were."

If Kam bumped into Tanzanite, Vanessa wanted him to look the other way. She understood his rage, because it was the way that she would have felt, if she were in his shoes. No one hurt her friends and got away with it.

She opened her mouth to speak, but no words spilled from between those parted lips. They, and her eyes, slowly fluttered closed. And then Vanessa drifted off to sleep.

There was a familiar smell on the air. It was clean, and crisp, and reminded Vanessa distantly of her mother. She shifted slightly on the little hospital bed, but did not rouse. Her eyelids fluttered, but did not open.

A dishevelled nurse rushed by the door carrying a clipboard. Swish-swish-swish went those unattractive hospital scrubs.

Vanessa answered them with a soft noise of her own.

And then she was awake, and aware of a dull ache in her chest. First, there was confusion. Vanessa sat up with a start when she realized that she was not, in fact, at home in her own bed and glanced about the room. Second, there was relief. Incompetent doctors and unstable mental patients aside, hospitals were generally pretty safe.

There was nothing to worry about.

It was dark. Somebody had pulled the blinds shut. The only light in the tiny room poured in from the hallway, and played over the features of the figure that snoozed in the chair beside her bed.

"Kam," Vanessa's smile was tender, and so was her voice. She reached for his hand, and gave it a familiar squeeze, "Wake up, sleepy head."

It did not surprise Vanessa, to discover that Kam snored. Somehow, it just made sense. She stared at him, eyes shining faintly in the dark, and took in everything from the size of his chair to the way he was squished inside of it. There was no way he could be comfortable. No way.

How long had he waited?

Vanessa flushed a little, sorry that she had made Kam worry, and hesitated for only a heartbeat before pulling her hand back. She ran her fingers through her hair, marvelled privately at the softness of those curls, and pulled her knees up to her chest.

"I…" she trailed off and gazed thoughtfully at a wrinkle in the hospital blanket somebody had tucked her in. It was a moment before she spoke again. When she did, her voice was light, and astonishingly cheerful for somebody who'd just survived an attack. Vanessa turned towards Kam. Her smile was bright.

"I feel good."

The mark Tanzanite left in her chest throbbed tenderly, but the pain was no longer sharp. Vanessa could think past it now to the truth of what had happened, and even beyond that-- to a place deep inside where guilt and rage had festered for too long. They were gone now, and replaced, somehow, by something that felt far better.

Hope.

"Oh, Kam," Vanessa breathed, and clambered out of the bed so that she could hug him. It was a little awkward, with the way Kam was sitting, and the cord of her IV strained slightly, but Vanessa managed to wrap her arms around his neck long enough to get the message across. "Thank you."

Bandages and hospital wrap aside, Vanessa was feeling on top of the world. She didn't know where this happiness came from, but it was there, and it was real. Vanessa had never been very good at self analyzation. It wasn't in her nature to question things like this.

For her, it was enough that it was true.

Vanessa made a startled sound when Kam scooped her off the floor again, and almost demanded that he put her back down. But she didn't, because she liked being in his arms like that. Even if it could never really mean what she wanted it to. He'd made that very clear.

"Okay, okay," Vanessa laughed, because not even Kam's order could ruin the joy she felt. She held her hands up in mock surrender, and beamed at Kam as he returned to his chair. "I'll be good."

The last thing he said made her hesitate, and the smile on her face wavered for just an instant. It was just a wink of a thing, and easy to miss, but it was there. Vanessa could promise Kam that she'd behave herself now, because she wouldn't get out of the bed until advised by the doctor. While she was no longer very interested in fighting bad guys for the sake of getting her a** kicked, Vanessa couldn't guarantee that… something like this wouldn't happen again.

That was the problem with being a hero. It was all a part of the job description.