Somewhat of a back-log
Natalia - The Monster


It was not uncommon for her room to be extremely dark, lit only by the candles that were placed haphazardly across rigid surfaces and empty of any able bodies--except for her own, if one could call it such... yet, nothing about the way her room was set up emanated normalcy. A tantrum would have sent all of the objects in her room flying, and boy did she want to throw one, but she did not bother to move...instead, an eerily quiet monster slipped through the doors only an hour and a half ago, placing her hands delicately on the objects in which she intended to shift around…or put away all together. Her pets were the first to go, back through the closet doors fussing and fighting her all the way; they knew something had to be wrong, they could feel it in the air as tense as it was, but they were no match for the strength and stubbornness of their master as she was not to be bothered by their constant coddling and in tune nature. She was certain that they would enjoy themselves away from the dorms anyway, as her head reeled with potential ideas for the rest of the evening…the candlelight keeping her orange attention for several moments before she found her place on the bed.

The ghoul was facing the wall on her satin sheets, balled up and seated in the fetal position where her head rested heavily on a propped up knee. In her lap, a black object lost in the cover of her blankets and with two hands placed clumsily overtop it, sat waiting for the decision to be made. It stung beneath her palms without leaving a trace of burn, just the thought of it beneath her quivering fingers sending her lower lip beneath sharp canines. Her curvy silhouette glowed despite the lack of light, arched over to expose her naked back with its spine cascading nearly into the bed itself. She almost could pass as a ghost, looking as still as any fixture upon her wall might…the thought seemed promising enough to stir a single chuckle from her throat, but quickly it was swallowed up by pale lips pinching together into a fine line. She preferred to be in the silence of her own discomfort tonight, not that anyone wanted to be around her as of late anyway. There were things she had to sort out on her own, moments she had to soak in no matter how painful. Remorseless rage had built up over a month or more, leaving her with very little emotion to play off of…In some ways, on some days, she missed the old ghoul. The crazy and somewhat caring monster who had enough heart and compassion for her friends to never let them down…yes, she sort of missed that ghoul, and yet…she sort of liked this nonsensical creature that surfaced when her actions took a turn for the worse.

Beneath the dark strands of midnight hairs, her eyes were sealed shut in a wince, as if the thoughts that raced were painful and vivid. Granted she wanted to see all that had been done, at least to clarify what was what and who was at fault for things she took blame for—but the wounds were great and the scars were still very sore…

Everything that had been going on lately had changed the lemur. She was not as peppy, not as bright and obnoxiously happy. Certainly she was able to conceal such realities from those who still showed their own compassion, but beneath the grinning façade was a sad, sad being. Those heavy burdens that rested on her shoulders each and every time she walked these long halls had begun to weigh her down to this very moment, to the exact spot on the bed where she sat now. She had lived her life beautifully up until the drama of high school infiltrated her—well, everything! Keeping close tabs on students, becoming friendly with some and even friendly with others proved to be both a blessing and a curse. A painful reminder of what companions she had cared dearly for only days prior...

But it was the boil who gave her the most grief. The dirty-blond haired kid who reacted the way he did some nights ago, when all the monster wanted was to be sure he was alright...because yes, that was what she wanted to do. In some ways. In others, certainly the lemur had her own agenda and was bound to let loose whatever was on her mind; but the boil knew that about her, he knew the way Natalia was and had come to accept her. Or at least, at one time he did. An undying friendship was all the monster asked for from the gryphon, one that meant a phone call after a tragedy or a visit of sorts just to hug things out and to ensure that everything would be alright. Because yes, Natalia was capable of such actions...She wanted a friendship that would not entail her to go searching for him, when it was HE who had been gone for so long! It was the boil who chose to disregard Natalia’s phone calls and texts just to sit and wallow…Natalia expected the kind of friendship she FELT she had offered to him in return...

The sting was ever-present in her mind, her heart, and even seemed to show on her body as when the boil came into view, her face contorted in such a way that looked injured and frail. In her silence she slid a hand where one had been weeks ago, an angry slap to the face that came so swiftly she had not a moment to flinch away. It stayed there for a long while, her pale white hands patting once before sliding across her eyes. Had she been wrong to act the way she did?...No. He hit her. He was in the wrong.

And...yet…from the looks of things, he was fine. Across the school he was still happily trekking, taking his classes and hanging with friends. She had seen him only once since the fight, although he did not see her in the distance that she crept. She watched him, in the way that she had watched the Northern mountain folk and all the others in her past...with eyes wanting, hands clenching, but a new feeling replacing the true desire…a hatred, the sort that led individuals to attack…it was there, the anger, as she watched him play with his pals and drink his booze and…enjoy what life had finally brought to him once again; No more Natalia.

She saw his content and it infuriated her. No matter how hard she tried to hide it from herself, the facts were written all across her wrinkled head as she tried not to show her eyes rolling in his direction, or in the way she grimaced when he trailed her to classes, particularly when he seemed blind to her presence. What had happened between them did not seem to wound the boil, not in the way she had hoped upon leaving his dorm and storming off that night. He was fine; this ex-friend of hers was completely and totally alright living his life without the ghoul. Without the monster who was perhaps the first to befriend him. He was fine...

These thoughts continued to play in her head, over and over again while she sat and reminded herself that he was alright; and yet she was not. That she was falling apart, sitting in empty rooms, sobbing in ways she was not used to. It was all his fault…his happiness brought her grief!

It was sudden, but as she sat there dwelling upon their history, Natalia felt her heart race within her ears; the only sound that resonated above the memories, and thankfully above the recollection of his voice. It was like the banging of drums, so loud and nerve-wrecking that it nearly sent her flying off the bed and to the door, wondering if it was not her mind but someone else wanting entry...a friend, or anyone in fact…Instead, her hands moved quickly onto her ears and stayed there; trying to block out everything, scowling and growling in response to the thump, thump, thumping within her chest. Pulling and tugging at her hair and head, Natalia began to fidget in place…She grew hot in her fussing, arms and legs beginning to kick out and tingle with pain. It caused her to break out in a sweat, one that would not cool her no matter how damp she would become. Thoughts…heavy, burdening thoughts…The gryphon was fine…Natalia could not stand him. All of the happiness he felt now, all of the overwhelming joy that came from a life without her...She could not stand it.

Her orange eyes snapped open then as the crazed lemur ghoul jumped up from her bed and raced to a nearby dresser. Nearly breaking it off of its hinges, Natalia ripped the clothes that were folded neatly inside until nothing was left within it. Curiously, her head tilted—angrily, she pulled hard on the drawer until it clattered against the floorboards. Where is it?! Her body did not slow as long legs crouched and bent while her fingers rifled through the other drawers, stumbling away from them empty handed. Where had she put the damned thing? Why was it so hard to recall? And why…why was her head pounding. Rolling on her heels, the monster swayed left and right until finally her back landed against the bed, a dizzy spell incapacitating her for but a moment…Where…Where?

Thin arms threw themselves against the sheets, left landing first…right…landing heavily on an object.

Hitting the book made Natalia flinch, but as soon as she touched it the ghoul rolled onto her side, then lifted up into a seated position with the silvery letters covering the front facing her. “Journal” was what it read, black leather enveloping the white sheets within it—each nearly covered from top to bottom with cursive lettering…words that the monster wrote at different times, in different mindsets.

At first she smiled when her hands worked the cover and opened it to the first few headings, Whisper's name popped up...she liked Whisper. Whisper always knew how to cool the monster down...but there were other names as well, names that neither stirred nor eased her, fingers flipping through while she read over each entry briefly. Truth or Dare, Swim Tryouts…

Renassaince…RENAISSANCE?! She had spilled her guts to the gryphon boil, she had kissed him and spent so much time with him; it was all there, written in black ink forever… red took hold of her cheeks once again as without another thought, the page came flying out of her book. Renaissance’s name and everything beneath it was on the ground, slightly crumbled…and slightly stained with tears. Her heart slowed then, momentarily taking in what she had just done, feeling some regret…but mostly…feeling at ease. Tearing away at the page seemed to rip him out of her heart and soul as well. Soon, she would forget about him, since his page would no longer be there…Perfect. laughter, short and chaotic filled the room then as another page followed suit, and then another until she was pulling at the journal with beastly vigor--ignoring the titles and merely ripping and shredding what she could. She did not want to remember anymore! If things were not going to get better, then she would rather forget about the past and start anew! Forget the monster boil! Forgot all of his follower-friends and everything that had gotten under her skin the very FIRST time she confronted him. The heat from before was becoming unbearable as her hands continued to move across the book...the long tail at her end straightening out and then twitching repeatedly.

A ripping of flesh was all she could compare it to as her body went from its tiny, flailing state to a large, hulking, blue form. Shaggy fur lined every part of her once fleshy-white corpse as an earthy smell filled the room; one that she had smelt before...before the train...crash? Yes! That was--

The thought that had been there vanished as a new, much less aggressive one took its place. The lemur erupted from Natalia's human frame like the wild monster it was, looking frenzied as it rolled and hit the side of the bed. The CRASH! The FOREST! The ELVES?! Where were they...where... was it? An easing calmness overcame the creature as it looked down to its large, clawed hands and tilted its big head to the side. Where had it been for so long? Why was it here?

Using those arms and hands to lift it onto all fours, the monster shook out its fur and took in a long breath from its pointed snout. The room was dark, empty, quiet…frightening, to be honest and while the monster was quite large and quite capable of handling itself—it still shuttered in fear, pressing against the bed as if it were the only protection it could find. It would have climbed underneath the sheets of the bed had the paper beneath its padded palms not caught its attention.

The limited light left the lemur squinting and leaning forward curiously. Through its nose it breathed in again, trying to put a face to the smell it picked up on. As familiar as it was, the lemur had never met Natalia, and could only link the smell it got from the torn bits of journal paper to the smell it had once encountered at the crash site.

The scent was marked for later within its head, but was forgotten for but a moment as it regarded the fire on each candle cautiously. The flames were not nearly as large and impressionable as those seen at Santa’s Workshop, but all the same the monster moved away from them the moment it caught sight, bringing its tail under one of the curtains and its rear against the wall. The touch of heavy fabric sent a jolt down its spine, spinning on its heels to face the long, dark drape that swayed in what could be compared to discontent. For a moment, the curtain gave way to the light just beyond the window pane, and exposed the room to a moonlit night. Sharp nails at the end of each hand moved toward the curtain and tapped once against it, the material giving beneath the touch…the monster tapped again, pulling its finger to one side so the drape was out of the way and letting light seep through before dropping its hand. Then, coming to a slow conclusion, the lemur monster cooed and tilted its head before poking the nail through the heavy drape and sliding it down just as easily as one might cut through butter with a hot knife. Using the rest of its nails to rip at both curtains covering two rectangular panes, the lemur tugged eagerly at the material until each rod fell off of the wall startled the beast in their landing.

A moment of uneasiness filled the werelemur as it looked to the metal pieces that had dropped before it, but as the sky and all the lights that came with nature swept the room clean of its gloom—the monster shook off its uncertainty and approached the window. Orange eyes much wider than before stared out into the silent night with childlike wonder, ears twitching at the top of her head, nose running into the glass and rubbing its moisture against it. The wild was a beautiful place, filled with great fruits and other creatures to meet…it was where the lemur felt it belonged, and yet it could not squeeze through the glass…not that flying out of the building some stories up would be such a good idea either. Low, miserable whimpers resounded in the throat of the beast as it turned its head and stared at the sheets of paper that were strewn across the floor. It was not a stupid creature, just an inexperienced one. Natalia, the human Natalia, had spent so much time wandering and experimenting with life and so very little time figuring out why she so often passed out in the middle of a walk, that the monster side of the ghoul had no way of learning the basics of civilized life. This world with its books and cars and trains and drama were all new to the creature, who is social in its own right, but to degrees that meets the wilderness standards—not those required on school grounds.

The long, bi-colored tail rounded near the lemurs back as it turned completely and approached the sheets once more, sliding its palm against those nearest to it before settling back on its rump to lift several into its grasp. What was written on each went over the monsters head, but the way each letter curved and attached itself to another intrigued the beast well enough to prompt it to speak. “What’s this?” Questioning the paper as if it would respond back (and partially expecting it to), the lemur tilted its head again, the longer strands of blue hair on the top of its head shifting into its eyes…

When silence prevailed, the monster pouted and huffed. Turning the sheet of paper around and around in its grasp, it tried to make sense of it all—frustration building as each looked the same as the next, and the one before it as well. Again, the lemurs lips peeled back in a scowl and words minced by a lack of education came spewing out. “Don’ understand…” Not even the name Renaissance triggered an emotion, as the paper labeled as such drifted beneath the pile, just another one of the puzzling pieces. The monster growled as it finally came to the realization that none of it would ever make any sense, tossing them into the air and watching as they flew towards the ground one at a time. Why on earth were there so many?...

Where had it been for so long again? Why were they no trains, why was there no snow? What on earth had been going on all this time in between then and…well, now? Although the creature was not particularly curious about the nitty-gritty details, it still brought the question up within its own mind, swiveling its head back to look over a shoulder and out the window. Certainly a long time had passed, the skies seemed clearer, the forest just beyond the room seemed lush, far too lively to be winter. Instincts told the lemur it was summer, but doubt held firm to the monster as it sat wondering, staring, and growing…quite sleepy…

Although beds were not ideally what monsters such as the werelemur slept on, it reminded the creature of a soft bed of leaves, or the canopy where the thick roots of trees were enough to hold up this lemur and perhaps other animals as well. A single palm landed on the plush satin sheets and pressed firmly. It certainly was soft, and wide enough for the monster indeed. In fact, Natalia had reinforced the bed for such occasions, knowing what could happen even if it hadn’t for quite some time. Limbs began to move then, one after the other onto the bed where the monster coiled up into a ball with its tail wrapped about its thigh and head. Pleasant groans came from the lemur as it shifted once and then fell into a sweet dream, having not another thought of those silly things on the floor or the candles at the bedside—or even the window and all of the wonders beyond it.

Come dawn a naked Natalia would be flat on her stomach; a human face squinting as sunlight warms the room with its welcoming light. And on the ground those same sheets of paper will be littered, moved only slightly by large, hulking hands…no prints, no evidence of it ever being there except for a gut feeling…and perhaps a few stray hairs.