|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2011 5:35 am
 Morana sighed to herself. Was there ever a more pitiful fox than her? Probably not. Laying down she lazily stared at her reflection in the puddle. There was nothing to do, no one around. Honestly, Morana didn't know what to do when she was alone. She didn't even know who she was. She splashed her paw in the water, her reflection instantly destroyed by the ripples. It came back though, her reflection. It was like her 'habit'; she always promised herself she would stop, but it always came back. Morana was so sick and tired of the little act she always put on, the perfect fox, but as much as she hated herself for doing it, she just couldn't stop. If it makes others happy, why? The same old excuse for all these years. "Nope, there really is no one as pitiful as you. Your so fake it's a wonder no one realises" She mumbled at her reflection. And it was true, she did wonder sometimes about the intelligence of others. She fooled her dear daddy, her mother, her friends, everyone. Yet no one realised that she was just wearing a mask. She sighed again, so frustrated with herself.
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:00 am
 "If you're going to play in puddles I would prefer you do it somewhere else. You are ruining my rest." The voice came from above the head of the vixen, way above. A giant white body, decorated with purple swirls and stripes, was drapped length-wise across a sturdy branch. Sky blue eyes, just as bright as the patterns of the female below, set in a mask of plum-colored fur peered down with just a hint of annoyance.
Deimos yawned and wondered if he should pick a proper fight with the female or just dismiss her existance entirely. After all ruining his nap was practically criminal. His afternoon naps kept him energized and looking his best. Well, he supposed he could wait for the little female's reply. No telling which punishment would be more effective just yet.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 2:08 am
Morana lept to her feet and let out a small squeal. The stranger had completely caught her by surprise. Even worse, it was a 'daeva, a being that could incinerate her if they felt like it. And this one sounded grumpy.
"I-I am very sorry I interrupted your sleep" She murmured. Nearly all foxes mistakenly mistook her for shy when they first met her, but the truth was, Morana just didn't know how to act around new foxes. She didn't know what they liked, what they didn't, what personality they worked best with; all the crucial things that were needed in creating the perfect personality for them. you did something wrong...look sad she mentally schooled and put on a dissapointed face, as if she was truely sorry. Umm, let's see...Everyone likes complements. Say something nice!
"Err, but if it's beauty sleep you're after, you don't need it at all; you're dazzling already" She said with a small smile. After all, nobody was fooled when she complimented them without one. A queasy feeling rose from the pit of her stomach. Was it wrong to lie to someone? No, not if it made them happy.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 3:14 am
Deimos snorted. "Of course I'm dazzling. Looks like these require maintance, Little Shadow." He wasn't sure where the nickname had come from, it just sprang up. Certainly not from her looks, when she had a base coat just as snowy as his. Something about her mannerisms, perhaps. Speaking of...
Dei frowned, then leap down from the tree. At the last minute he snapped his starry wings open, causing a great amount of wind in backdraft as he came to an abrupt halt. Such moves were a bit painful and cost more energy than a glide, but were more impressive. For better or worse, Dei always tried to impress an audience.
"You bother me, Little Shadow," he drawled. "A compliment is all well and good, but I don't need one that is insincere." Dei's eyes narrowed. "I may be a self-centered and arrogant son of a normal, but I'm not a fool and I'm not dumb." He tried for his most impressive loom. He could tell he already intimidated the normal, as it should be of course; he was a very intimidating creature! But this time he was putting a bit more effort into it, just to inspire some fear. Besides being interesting, fear also tended to kill the thought processes which meant you answered and acted more truthfully, or you just shut down completely. There was the chance this vixen would just shut down, but if that happened then she was hardly worth his time and energy.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 5:31 am
Shoot! Was he on to her? She needed to try harder, make her mask less see-through. Morana was playing with fire and she knew it. "But-but I'm not saying that your not good-looking" She said, dodging the question. But it was the truth...sort of. Morana actually didn't know what she regarded as good-looking. She put on a frightened face, shrank back a little, and did her best to look afraid.
Morana knew the danger she was in, but...she didn't really feel it. Should she be scared? Probably. But there were foxes who didn't get scared in circumstances like this. Was she one of those foxes? What if she wasn't? Maybe she was, she just felt numb inside really. Numbness and confusion, story of her life.
The more the daeva spoke, the more Morana could paint a picture on what he was like. So far, she figured out he loved being complimented and he liked intimidating others. Maybe he would like a submissive persona?
"...Little...Shadow...?" She didn't really get it but, if he liked calling her that..."Sorry! I'm sorry for bothering you! What could I do to not bother you? "
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2011 1:26 pm
Deimos rolled his eyes. "Whatever you think, a compliment meant as a distraction will leave a foul aftertaste. I don't need you to tell me what I already know. If you're going to verbally admire my looks, do it because you want to and not because you feel you have to." It was a little odd for someone so completely self-centered to care if a compliment was sincere or not, but Dei was just like that.
Something about her cowering manner bothered him as well. Dei snorted again. "Well for one you can stop that cowering and hiding in your own shadow. It doesn't suit you, and feels just as fake as your distractions."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2011 7:33 pm
"Then what does suit me?" Morana said in a flat voice, dropping her facade. She may as well, scince it wasn't as if she could turn the tables and fool the daeva like she had done to so many others.
This one is different. It didn't take him long. It was a rare thing for someone to figure out she was faking, it didn't happen a lot. "But I do have to compliment you. You like it. I don't have wants, I don't have things that suit me." She said with no emotion in her voice. She was here for other people, to be what they wanted.
'But, I don't want to do that' She remembered how guilty her father had made her feel when she spoke those words. No, it was easier to just do and be what others wanted. It made them happy, made them proud of you.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2011 2:18 am
Deimos had to stop himself from sighing. Great, she was another one of those types. "How boring," he said, eyes half-closed and body going slack as he quit trying to look imposing. "How in the world should I know what suits you? Even if I did I wouldn't tell you. It means nothing if you don't know the answer yourself."
Dei half spread his wings and looked upwards at the sky. "I am not a collector of dolls, Little Shadow," he commented, "and I see no point in talking to one who has no sense of self." His ice-blue eyes glanced sideways at the female. "Shall I save you the trouble of trying to craft another mask, and leave now? I'd rather not waste my time."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2011 6:31 pm
Morana giggled, a tiny, pathetic sound. She was a burden. For the first time in her life she wasn't wanted or needed! It gave her a small pleasure at the thought. Oh, irony! She strived so hard to be needed, exactly what others wanted, yet here was someone who didn't like or want her around!
She burst in a fit of full laughter, tears rolling from her eyes. Scince she didn't know whether to laugh or cry, her body decided to do both. A small part of her scolded that being a pest was not a good thing, something everyone tried to steer away from. But she couldn't help it, it just felt so damn good to not be needed!
(( I think we broke her... eek ))
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 2:27 am
Needless to say, Deimos was a bit taken aback. As a Daeva he both gave and got irony, sarcasm, and sometimes outside hostility, anger, and hatred. He rarely got admiration, but he was so conceited himself that it hardly mattered. What outsiders thought of him was of no consequence. Of all the things that he had and hadn't gotten, hysterics was one of the last things he expected. It wasn't even that he was scaring her either, or at least it didn't seem to be...
Dei raised an eyebrow. "My, you are indeed a wreck. Can't even figure out whether you'd rather laugh or cry. Are you really so much like the shadow I named you for, or are you even less than that?"
((She's freakin' Dei out a little too XD I'm having fun with this though. I always loved RPing with Dei's father, Dakari. That seems to have carried over into the son : ) ))
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 7:36 pm
"Probably less" She said, gaining control over herself. "It's just ironic. I change who i am to benefit others. I can be their perfect friend, mate, daughter" her heart dropped a little when she said the last word "I can be anyone anyone wants me to be...yet here you are, someone who doesn't need me, someone who sees right through my masks, someone who for the first time scince I was a very young kit, inspired pleasure. How?" She chuckled, because that's what foxes do in these situations. She didn't mean the last part in a sort of perverted way, she just didn't know how else to put it. When you were as blank as she was, you tended not to skirt around and 'lighten' things up.
She walked right up to the 'daeva, invading his personal space. If she were his height she would have had her eyes centimeters away from his, but she wasn't so she had to look up. "You can insult me all you like, it doesn't matter. Because no matter how low you regard me, it is nothing compared to how I regard myself" Her face showed nothing. No fear, hostility, nothing. It was as emotionless as her voice.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2011 11:42 pm
Deimos tilted his head in a bird-like fashion, and examined the creature in front of him. Such a bizarre female. The lack of emotion she displayed was nothing new to him; Chiara more than had her beat in that respect. However they were at opposite ends of the spectrum when it came to personal strength. Chiara was very confident about herself and who she was, the most stubborn normal he'd ever met who'd taken apathy and made it into an art.
This female was not apathetic. She was just empty. It happened when one tended to pour all of themselves out to others. Now why was that? She didn't seem to do it for fun, if those hysterics were anything to go by. Certainly not for personal gain either, judging again by her hysterics and her own words thus far. Or if it was for personal gain, she was very bad at it. Compassion was a possibility, for he had seen fools before this pour out everything they were to help others.
If it was for compassion then was she dominant or submissive? Only one or two personality types would ever work against their own self-interest, and compassionate people were the same. A dominant would either dish out tough love, or manipulate others by seeming submissive. Usually with good intentions, but Dei made sure to avoid those types. A true submissive tended to mold themselves based on the wants of others, in an attempt to keep peace. Unlike a dominant though, when conflicting wants came up in a group a submissive tried to fill them all rather than shape them into something easier to manage. The inevitable failure that followed tended to be their downfall, and usually left them alone with no connection to their own selves after so long trying to be something else.
So this female was probably of the compassionate personality type, submissive. Dei's breath escaped him in a huffing sigh. It seemed as though the little shadow was walking down a path of self-destruction. She either needed someone to swoop in and give her something to be, or she needed to save herself. It wasn't impossible for a submissive to become a dominant, you just had to find your own self.
"It should be fairly obvious," Dei finally said. "You said it yourself. I don't want you, I don't need you. I am completely confident and comfortable with who I am. There's nothing for you to reflect off of with me. From the sound of what you have said, for the first time in your life you are talking to someone as yourself."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 12:08 am
"What luxury..." She breathed. To be comfortable with one's self, to not want to change anything. Morana had never heard of it before. Nothing for me to reflect off it gave her two ways of percieving it. It gave her pleasure at the thought, yet it also brought questions. What happened to a mirror when it could not reflect something?
Morana didn't realise that she had been talking as...not one of her masks. Giving an opinion that was her own. She wanted to hug it and hold on tight, forever. " I have forgotten myself. I don't know who 'myself' is..." She stopped, as if she had said something wrong.
"Stop it. I don't want to be myself. I have become what everyone always wanted. I can become anyone, to make others happy. It's not about me, it's about them."
'No, I don't want to! Don't make me do this! Her heart hurt. She was well aware that it was only a matter of time before she lost all sense of self completely, but it was worth it...right?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 12:38 am
Deimos looked down his nose at the vixen. Literally. Seriously, the girl was practically standing on him still! "Listen up, Little Shadow, cause I'm only saying this once. When you die you do it alone. Everything you've accomplished, all those pretty, elaborate masks you've built? They'll mean absolutely nothing. When you die, all you take with you is yourself."
Dei paused, breathing calmly through his nose, blue eyes still narrowed slightly. "When you stand there, at that moment, forced to look at who you are, what are you going to see? Are ya gonna have to stand there filled with regret that's far too late, or are you gonna be proud of what you've done and who you were at the very end?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Wed Jul 06, 2011 1:05 am
Morana tensed. what he had said struck a nerve. "STOP IT!" She screamed. She darted away, unable to stay near him any longer. She curled up into a ball a good few feet away and started to sob. She felt like her walls were coming down, slowly crumbling away. Walls that were supposed to stay up, stay strong. But years of pain and self-loathing were leaking through. She didn't like this, never asked for this.
"I-I'm perfect. I'm what they always wanted. I shouldn't *sniff* feel regret. I'm perfect for them, perfect for everyone..." She mumbled to herself, so desperately trying to repair those walls, regain her ground. Then a tiny whisper of a thought snaked it's way through her mind.
But am i perfect for me?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
