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 Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2011 10:12 pm
Bunny the Life Usagi, by far Uaithne's favorite Alchemia!
The Roke, Uaithne's personal Alchemia and one he will give out only to friends. <3
Cut up the quest into sections to make editing it easier for me as I get crits.
~ Name/Gender/Etc (( DONE ))
~ Goals/Bio/Personality (( DONE ))
~ Tea/Magic/Theme (( DONE ))
~ Alchemia (( DONE ))
~ Links (( DONE ))
Updated after first crit, looking for more crits so he can get approved <3
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Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2011 10:15 pm
Name: Uaithne 'Green' Cahal 'Battle Ruler'
Race: Majin, though raised by an older human woman.
Staring Stage: Witchling is preferable.
Gender: Male
Height: 5'11
Weight: 150lbs
Build: Lithe/Thin
Skin Tone: 
Eye Color: 
Hair Color: 
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Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2011 10:16 pm
Biography:
Uaithne doesn't really remember much before he came into being, only bits and pieces, shattered sorts of memories that felt more as though they belonged to someone else. Instead all he recalls clearly was that one day he was there, sitting in the middle of a large, beautiful garden. The house he'd appeared behind was located at the edge of Clarus Arbor and was owned by a rather old lady that everyone in town seemed to just refer to as 'Grannie'. She found him, a young boy that was at most a preteen, sitting among her flowers. Due to a lack of a name he could recall the woman quickly dubbed him Uaithne, a name that means green. Like the plants that were all around him there was a lot of green upon his person from his dark green hair to his more brightly colored eyes he looked very much like a part of the garden. Unable to turn him away she instead took him into her home, raising him like he was her own, caring for him, teaching him all that one needed to know to survive, answering his questions, and helping to give him purpose. While the woman never had any children of her own, having been far to goal orientated for such things when she was younger, and she seemed to take motherhood like a duck to water.
Straight away she could tell what Uaithne was but seemed to hold no biased or grudge against him, Human or Majin he was what he was, a child in need of a parent to tend to him. The problem being that while she had nothing against what he was others might, on top of that there were the many problems that went along with raising a Majin child and the many extra lessons that he needed to be taught, among those being the right way for him to feed himself. While the boy seemed to be quite sweet she knew full well the danger that he could present if not properly looked after, her biggest fear being that one day he might take a witch's heart to feed himself and his powers with. Due to this fear, one she never shared with him, she was quite careful whenever they left the house. She would keep him at her side, never letting him out of her sight, seeming perhaps overprotective but she knew that it was for his own good as well as the good of those that they ran across while out on errands. His thirst for magic was something that she always quenched with her own powers, despite the fact that he was fed with her magic Uaithne never felt the urge to take her heart, likely because he knew that without her he would be all alone again.
Being raised in the rural town led to Uaithne having a rather simple life fill with simple clothing, simple desires, and merely a simple way of going about things in general. During the day Uaithne would tend to the garden, feed the animals, and then do the many chores he had to do, but nothing that he ever really resented. Grannie always told him that going about his chores was good for him, it gave im something to do and it would help to shape his character, words he took to heart.
If anything what he gained from his chores was his fondness of the flowers and other plants, watching the way that they went through their many phases during the warm months, withered way in the cold ones, only to return again was to Uaithne all together inspiring. That such small things had such perseverance and strength was quite amazing to him and he ending up with a great liking for them and for gardening in general, spending most of his free time doing just that. With him there to tend to it the garden, which was already quite beautiful, seemed to flourish. A lot of the flowers that were grown and came to fill the garden were those that came back from year to year, among them being roses which were by far his favorites. That they come in all shapes and sizes, that they seemed to be able to smell like anything, and that they were able to defend themselves from danger was what drew his attention and made him bring more and more of them into the garden.
Living with Grannie he learned a great many things and for a while he was able to completely forget what he actually was, no longer feeling like an outsider and more as if he were truly her son. It was likely that he would have remained such as well, spending years with her while never wanting for anything else but to see more flowers grow, but like all humans his Grannie passed on leaving the cottage, the garden, and the animals to him but also left a simple request behind with them. He would be able to keep everything that was given to him by her but she wanted for him first to attend the Makai Royal Academy, to better come to understand what he is and what he could do with the powers granted to him by his Majin blood. While Uaithne wanted nothing more then to stay at home to tend to it there was no way that he could go against the wishes of his Mother figure. He spoke with a trusted neighbor who agreed to tend to his home while he was away at school, wanting to make sure that everything was kept in order and safe until his return.
Aspirations/Goals:
~ Uaithne's present goals seem fairly normal for anyone his age away from home for the first time, he wants to finish up his schooling so that he can go back to his home and be able to better tend to things with what he has learned there. Not a well thought out goal by far given that there is a lot ahead of him and he shouldn't be thinking only of the future instead of the present. It's likely the loss of his mother figure that has his thinking on the desire for home though he might come to understand that it will be a very different place without her there.
~ Another goal for the present would be to find some friends in the school, something that might prove a bit difficult for him since he isn't a terribly social person, both as companions as well as a fount for drawing magic from. While he has little interest in devouring a heart, even though there is always that tempation, he does need the magic of others to be able to survive. With Grannie gone that leaves him with the need to find another source, preferably willing, to feed from.
~ In the more long term sense he will begin to realize that he needs to figure out how to gain a better get control over himself and his growing desire for a taste of a Witch's Heart. This will be something that will grow stronger and harder to deal with as enters the academy and finds himself around more powerful magic users then he is used to. The presence of so much magic around him will be something he isn't used to and therefore more susceptible to then when he was back home and it was just Grannie and himself.
~ His final goal, and most important to him, would be that he wants to be as close to human as is possible for him. While he will always have to deal with what it is to be Majin and have to deal with that thirst for magic, finding balance is something that will come with time and experience. If he attains this goal or takes a different path, only time will tell.
Personality: Upon crossing paths with Uaithne one might think that he comes off as are then a little odd, the way that he seems to have moments where he can be heard talking to his plants, mostly when he thinks that he is alone, doesn't seem to help his case any. Any time he is left to his own devices he seems as though he's drifting off in his own little world. Just after starting in out in the academy Uaithne will be far more likely to talk with his plants that he brought then he will other students, a little uncertain of exactly how he should go about starting a conversation with them, seeming to be at a loss passed 'Hello my name is Uaithne.' The idea of working in groups with others, something that seems he will be made to do for school projects, will be something that will throw him for a loop since it would be the biggest group he'd be forced to work with that he can recall. He would do his best to get the work done and to follow directions but when it comes to getting words in edgewise he would likely falter.
If approached in an out of school manner he would be like a fish out of water unless the conversation was about something he knew, like his gardening, otherwise he would be the sort of leave the talking to the other party, he'd nod a lot, answer where he was needed to answer, but that would be it to begin with. Given time he would start to open up to others as he got used to them, speaking his mind a little more instead of just following their lead but that would also depend on who he was dealing with and how aggressive their personality was. Hes more of a follower type so he'd likely fall into step behind a strong leader almost instantly.
He does seem to be the most content with listening to other's talk though, especially liking the sound of female voices, though this in no way reflects what is his preference. In fact, at the moment, he is lacking in that sort of drive and while he might want a deeper relationship at some point in the future what matters currently is figuring out something more basic, such as friendship or even acquaintanceship. He would find other Majin, male or female, as being quite interesting since he'd never met any before aside from maybe in passing, and he will have a special place in his heart for human females due to being raised by one. He is more then likely to jump to their defense if the need arose, even if he didn't know them, due to this biased toward them. Its something that might seem a bit chivalrous though he wouldn't really think of himself in that manner, instead just believing that men shouldn't bully women. Likely this is another lesson that was drilled into him my his Grannie, something that would force him out of his quiet, wallflower like comfort zone were he to run across a woman in need. The problem being that, even if the woman was in the wrong, and even if she were stronger then her accuser, he would still side with the woma because she is just that, a woman.
Were he to run across a couple of girls argueing or in a catfight I think he'd be quite startled, having no idea what he should do in that sort of situation and might end up just starring at them in a wide eyed manner and nothing more.
Due to being so used to it being just him and his Grannie, someone that he felt he could trust completely, he might be easy to dupped, especially were it a girl trying to trick him. Hes a nice guy and very oblivious to the ideas of deception and trickery. He might even be led to do something he normally might not do on his own were they to explain it to him in a way that made it seem like the 'right thing to do' to get closer to one of his goals.
There are many things that are a bit out of the range of Uaithne's understanding and comfort zone, among those being things that might only be found in a big city or the acedemy itself, various technology that might not be found in the rural city of Claus Arbor being one of those things. He would need help with that sort of thing, as well as finding his way around, leading him to yet another situation that would force him to speak up when he might normally remain silent. The same could be said for any task that would require he set up to a large city on his own, it's all but a given that he would end up lost in a large city not to mention that he'd be overwhelmed by the crowds and tall buildings, neither of which he is used to. When feeling such things its likely he would try to find the safety of a park or even the edge of town, any place there is large amounts of plant life which he finds comforting, where he can be allowed to catch his breath and rally himself.
Likes: Roses, gardens and gardening, climbing trees to be up high, seeing things grow and change, plants that come back the each year, spring showers, evergreens, female voices, listening to the sounds of other people talking, being a follower, sunny days, fruit and veggies since its something he sees as gifts from the plants he loves, potted plants since he can tend to them even during the cold months.
Dislikes: Crowds, public speaking, being completely left alone, winter, snow, cut flowers, the destruction of plants, people cutting down trees, technology since its lost on him, the idea of hurting someone due to what he us, those biased against his kind.
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Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2011 10:19 pm
Tea Ingredients: The tea ingredients that would interest Uaithne when the time comes are listed below, if they are used or not in the tea he makes, come the time for it, is uncertain. They are just what has caught his eye so far from what all was listed. More then what is needed for the tea are listed, all plant type ingredients due this where his interests lay, and will be cut down to the right amount after some debate when the time comes as well.
Underlined are the ones that he would be most interested in since roses are by far his favorite flowers for many reasons. The flower petals and rotting rose would have his attention most since they are items he can utilize without hurting the plant since they are items he can take easily. The blue rose he'd be more careful about taking, picking just the right flower from the bush, one that is old enough that, in taking it, the plant will get more energy for itself and less feeding the flower.
Italicized items are ones that he would consider due to seeing fruit as the gifts that plants give to the world. Not only that but both would be rather interesting and unique types of fruit he's never tried before, another thing that would draw his interest.
Rare ingredients are being left off the list since those are won by special means.
~ Dandelion Dust: It brings a feeling of clarity and being a free spirit.
~ Star Fruit: A sweet and sour exotic fruit.
~ Cactus Flower: Cacti do not grow in forests. What is this even doing here? It's exotic, and prickly.
~ Lavender: A common herb found here and there in the forest. It's lucky, because I say so!
~ Blue Rose: A rare, blue rose. Eloquent and beautiful, yet mysterious.
~ Rotting Rose: Even though it's dying, it still exudes a sweet smell, telling the story of its once beautiful, elegant life.
~ Rose Petals: Large, pliable petals of an elegant species of flower.
~ Poplar Fluff: Endows a light, pleasant, and somewhat airy quality.
~ Crushed Mint: Pleasant and refreshing, it instills a sense of concentration.
~ Burnt Flowers: Once beautiful, now somber and woeful.
Ability Concentration/Theme: The center of his magic as well as his theme is going to be based upon the plants that he is so fascinated with watching and growing. The use of them in magic through means of healing or bring harm to those that are around him, the manipulation of them to entangle possible threads in their grasp as well as other uses. Using them to brew up potions, so long as the use of pieces of them, be it roots, leaves, or stems, doesn't harm the plant, might he something he gets into as well.
The last thing he wants to do is to kill one of his own plants to boost his position in life. Now ingredients derived from other plants, dried herbs and the like sold in town for example, would be something that he would prefer to use since it wouldn't put his own plants at harm. He seems to have a strong attachment to them, seemingly caring more for the plants, their lives, and their comfort, then other living things at first.
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Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2011 10:21 pm
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Posted: Fri Jun 24, 2011 10:22 pm
Alchemia Profile: My profile page from the Blackbird Parfait site.
Wiki Colors: Where I got the little color blocks in the looks section for his hair, eyes, and skin.
Bishibooru: Where I got the reference image for what I want Uaithne's hair and eye style to look like. The image is of Silver from Pokemon HeartGold.
Banner Fans: Where I made the simple banners to spruce the thread up.
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Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2011 2:57 am
And I am ready for crits! <3
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Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2011 7:13 pm
Uaithne doesn't really remember much before when he came into being, just that one day he was there, conscious and with a human form within the center of a large, beautiful garden. The house he'd appeared behind was located at the edge of Clarus Arbor and was owned by a rather old lady that everyone in town seemed to just refer to as 'Grannie'. 1) She found him sitting among her flowers, named him Uaithne, a name that means green, because like the plants around him there was a lot of green upon his person. Like any good mother she took him into her home to raise and care for him, teaching him all that one needed to know, answering his questions, and helping to give him purpose. 2)The woman never had any children of her own, having been far to goal orientated when she was younger, and she seemed to be more then happy with the son that appeared in her garden.
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I think it'd be safe to take out the 'when' after before just because it sounds a tad strange. How old was he when he 'appeared' in her garden ? Did he ever have the urge to steal grannies heart? Could she do magic and maybe taught him some simple potions or anything, or was most of her teachings that of how to be a good person and live right to take care of himself? So she knew he was a Majin, did she let him know to her best knowledge what he was, if he didn't already understand a bit of what he was already? Like did she try to tell him you know its bad to take hearts even if you desire that since Majin have the urges to take witch hearts. Did he ever have any experiences with the urges getting to be to much for him to handle and if so what did he do to fight those? I understand that it was just him and his mother, but surely they had to travel to market or things like that where he'd be around witches since they make up a good deal of this worlds population. Or did she make him stay at home afraid that he might loose control and be killed? I like that he seems to have a purpose thanks the the upbringing from the woman but I'd like to know a little more about how he deals with being a Majin himself or did he simply try not to think about it, in his goals you say a little bit about that but I'd like to know how keeps control over it at the moment. You go on to say that he wants to be as much of a human as possible, what is he willing to do to get that way? Say if someone tried to lead him into believing the only way to become more human was to actually take a human heart? How much does he know about witch eaters in that case would he know that, that was not the truth?
The way you have the last few sentences (underlined) set up is kind of off subject then switching back to it, since you go from her finding and naming him to her taking him in like a good mother... Then back to more about Grannie, which you left off with before turning to her finding him. Below are some flow suggestions.
Suggestions for re-wording to make the paragraph flow smoother:
Uaithne doesn't really remember much before he came into existence, just that one day he was there, conscious and in a human form within the center of a large, beautiful garden. The house he'd appeared behind was located at the edge of Clarus Arbor and was owned by a rather old lady that everyone in town seemed to just refer to as 'Grannie'. Said woman never had any children of her own, having been far to goal orientated when she was younger. So she was more than happy to take the child that appeared in her garden sitting among her flowers into her home. Upon taking him in the woman gave him the named him Uaithne. The name was perfect for the child, it meant green, like the plants that surrounded him the day she had found him or the vast amount of greens that covered his person, from his lovely green hair to his brilliant green eyes. After awhile of having the boy in her home, she started to become more of a mother to him, raising and caring for him like a mother would. Teaching him all that one needed to know to be a strong and good person, answering his questions and helping to give him purpose.
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The woman was no push over and no fool, she could tell what the boy was straight away but seemed to hold no biased against him, Human or Majin he was what he was, a child in need of a parent to tend to him. He was raised in the rural town and had a rather simple life, simple clothing, a simple way of life in general. During the day Uaithne would tend to the garden, feed the animals, and then to (do ) the many chores he had to do, but nothing that he ever really resented. He was told that having such chores would help to shape his character. If anything he found himself quite fond of the flowers, watching the way that they grew during the warm months, withered way in the cold ones, only to return again. Their perseverance and strength were quite amazing to him and he ending up with a great liking for them and for gardening in general. Living with Grannie he learned a great many things and for a while he was able to completely forget what he actually was while with the woman, feeling as if he were truly her son.
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Just some more flow suggestions here, along with the above underlined to, to do <3 ALSO Please feel free to ignore any and all of the suggestions, if you think that they will take away the personalized feel with which you've chosen to present Uaithne's profile kay ! :3
The woman could easily tell what the boys was, considering she was no push over nor a fool. Being around as long as the older woman had been, it was rather easy for her to put it together that the boy was a Majin. Even in knowing this she seemed to hold no biased against him, Human or Majin he was what he was, a child in need of a parent to tend to him. Being raised in the rural town, he had rather simple life. Simple clothing and simple in the way of most things in general. This was the way he liked it though, during the day Uaithne would tend to the garden, feed the animals and then do the many other chores he had to take care of for the day, none of which he really resented having to do. Since he was told that having such chores would help to shape his character, plus he actually enjoyed some of the chores like helping out in the garden.
If anything, his favor of this chore was because he found himself quite fond of the flowers. Their changes fascinated him, like the way that they grew during the warm months and withered way in the cold ones, some to return again. Their perseverance and strength were quite inspiring to him, which left him with a passion for flowers and for gardening in general. Thanks to the lessons his chores taught him and living with Grannie, he was able to learn a great many things and for a while he was able to completely forget what he actually was while with the woman. No longer feeling like he was different, but feeling as if he were truly her son.
Some things:
Evergreens are more impressive in terms of perseverance, no matter what the weather, they will keep on keeping on and even if all their fronds get stripped away, the tree can remain strong. Flowers are just..well some kinds of flowers can grow in the cold and many do not even re-bloom, maybe if using flowers you could say what kinds ... ? Since most last a year then die... OTL
You could also say he is just impressed with how they take to change or something along those lines. ANYWAYS what is his favorite flower? Or thing to grow in the garden? Since he liked it so much I take it he spent more time in the garden other than just for doing chores? Did being there help him relax at all, maybe if he used it as an escape for when frustrated or something?
You say that for awhile he was able to forget what he was and felt like her son, explain more on this, how is it that he feels ? Just that he is different and doesn't like it or ? :3
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Goals:
In the more long term (sense) he will begin to realize that he needs to figure out how to gain a better get control over what will be a growing desire for a taste of a Witch's Heart, (.) As this will be something that will grow(s) stronger as he get once he is around more and more powerful magic users while he is at the school. The taste of so much magic around him will be something he isn't used to and therefore susceptible to then when he was back home and it was just his mother and himself.
on the underlined you need to either have : how to gain a better control over Or how to get a better control of what will be a growing desire for a taste of a Witches heart. Its kind of hard to understand this a bit so....
Re-worded suggestion:
In the more long term sense he will begin to realize that he needs to gain a better control over the growing desire, being that of devouring a Witches heart. As this is something that will likely grow stronger once he gets around the more powerful magic users of the academy. The tease of so much magic around him will be something he isn't used to, therefore he will be more susceptible to his inner wicked thoughts, unlike when he was back home and sheltered from the magic around him.
Moving on :
~ Last but not lease his greatest desire and goal would be to become as close as possible to being human, wanting to do the same things, feel the same things, and want for the same things as them while holding back what it is to be Majin. He will always have to deal with a dual nature, what he is verses how he was raised, as he works to get closer to the many goals laid out before him. He will eventually need to come to terms with what he really is though that is something that will come with time and many experiences outside of what he is used to.
I believe in my way of understanding that Majin are like humans in all ways other than the fact of not being born Humans and their desire to eat witch hearts. But feel free to ask in the questions thread or another staff to make certain of that, in any case that being said you'd need to explain more about what he feels he is lacking by being a majin in the way of feeling and doing things that the humans can.
Also ! From Encyclopedia in guild - ""but to truly thrive, they needed to indulge in the mana produced by a Witch's Heart. Such a thing cultivated their strength. Most majin do not fully take a witch's heart, but sneakily siphon mana from it by making emotional or physical connections with a Witch." How does he take care of his mana need? Had he been taking some from Grannie? Does he intend to make friends for this now ? Perhaps another goal could be to acquire a few friends in school to use for this, and to help him understand what he is by talking to other Majin that might know more than him ?
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Personality:
Upon crossing paths with Uaithne one might think that he comes off as are then a little odd, the way that he seems to have moments where he can be heard talking to his plants, mostly when he thinks that he is alone, doesn't seem to help his case any. Any time he is left to his own devices he seems as though he's drifting off in his own little world. Just after starting in out in the academy Uaithne will be far more likely to talk with his plants then he will other students, a little uncertain of exactly how he should go about starting a conversation with them, seeming to be at a loss passed 'Hello my name is Uaithne',
The underlined first section: are to more
The second underlined section: put a . instead of an , and inside of the ' <3
From this overall section I am getting that he is a bit socially awkward? In that case how does he handle mandatory school projects that have in him a group? would he talk to his teammates or ? So he just doesn't know how to communicate with others well and is maybe embarrassed ? Which kind of makes him seem none social then, because its not that he doesn't want to talk to people correct ? If someone approached him and engaged him in conversation how would he handle it, would he be shy acting then or would he even reply outside of telling them his name?
He does seem to be content with listening to other's talk though, especially liking the sound of female voices, though this in no way reflects what is his preference. In fact, at the moment, he is lacking in that sort of drive and while he might want a deeper relationship at some point in the future what matters currently is figuring out something more basic, such as friendship or even acquaintanceship. He would find other Majin, male or female, as being interesting, and having a special place in his heart for human females due to being raised by one. He is more then likely to jump to their defense if the need arose, even if he didn't know them, due to this liking. Its something that might seem a bit chivalrous though he wouldn't really think of himself in that manner.
Would he just simply run up and get involved when he feels that a female is in need of defending? Since he seems a bit shy does he just push that aside in those cases? Also what if the female was in the wrong and he knew it would he still defend them? If he didn't know and found out later about defending them what would he do ? So does this mean out of all the people he is most friendliest and kind to human females?
Uaithne is a simple person with simple desires and thoughts, having never even been to a big city, instead far more used to the small town he's from. As such he might be at a bit of a loss when it comes to events going on in those other towns or when it comes to people and things from towns outside of Clarus Arbor. Were he to go to a big city alone its almost certain he would end up lost and overwhelmed, wanting to retreat to any sort of park or to the edge of town, anywhere that is filled with plants and therefore more welcoming, not to mention calming, to him.
Would he be lost at the academy then, maybe he would need extra help in understanding things since he might not be use to their technology?
The underlined section doesn't really flow well plus its a bit confusing with the were he to go to a big city part.
Re-wording suggestion:
When he has to go into a big city alone its almost certain he will end up lost and overwhelmed. Feeling the need to retreat to if he becomes to overwhelmed, to any sort of park or even to the edge of town. Somewhere with plants or simply calming to his simple nature for awhile.
So is it safe to say then he is a bit nervous around things he isn't use to or large crowds? Other than these things he is looking pretty good! It would be good to have in some likes and dislikes for him just to know a bit more about the boy and help get a better feel for him! :3
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Posted: Tue Jul 12, 2011 2:32 pm
Updated after Cheekie's Crit, thanks for the ideas! <3
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