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Tags: polyamory, polyamorous, poly, nonmonogamy 

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Never mind! (Crisis of term and definition averted!)

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Pom Graines
Captain

Familiar Citizen

PostPosted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 4:21 pm


EDIT: Seems the book I was thinking of was Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless & Hopeful. The only book I've found with a use and definition of monoamory. Saew was very helpful with posting a few websites that he found where the term was mentioned.... but websites are not valid sources of information apparently and I'm not allowed to use them. Which I found to be a big hindrance because that's where the majority of the information is, I've found. Thankfully I have a bunch of good books and I found the one that mentioned monoamory too biggrin




Hello! (tl;dr at bottom, the rest is explanation).

I'm currently in a pickle with my essay. I am trying to define the terms I'm going to use in the essay to keep things clear as to what I'm talking about. (Using sociological terms when possible, of course, but having to diverge from them slightly for the scope of the essay).

I'm waffling between using "monogamy" in the popular usage as a general term to describe exclusive two-person relationships, or using it in the strict sociological sense to describe exclusive two-person marriages in particular.

If I keep monogamy in the strict sense, then I need another term to define non-married exclusive two-person relationships. I don't want to leave this as "relationships" because that implies they are relationships 'proper' and it's just anything that doesn't fit there needs to be defined further. And 'dyad' or 'couple', while technically correct and are good nouns, don't lend themselves well as descriptors. (Plus to me 'dyad' brings to mind a polyamorous arrangement like mine and Graverg's is currently. Only two people in the relationship currently, but not exclusive and is open to new members).

So I thought to use the term monamory (or monoamory I don't recall how it was spelled), but to use that I want to be able to credit the person who tried to coin the term. (Plus it's not my idea, it's not my term, for an academic paper I need to give credit where it is due). The only problem with the term is that it was never widely used and I can't find the original author who invented it or tried to coin it.

tl;dr: I need to find who used the term 'monamory/monoamory'. To my knowledge it was only used in one book D: My Google-fu is failing and it looks like Google does not even recognize the term (with either spelling). Has anyone else heard the term used? Do you know who tried to coin it or who invented it?

Thanks everyone!

Also sorry for being mostly absent or at least not participating very much in the guild or the threads. I've been scattered with all this school work and often when I'm done my reading for the day on all my subjects I don't even want to see the suffixes -amory or -gamy anywhere. Wonderful research, but going at too-quickly and condensed a pace for my liking and I'm burning out of it >.< I'm trying to keep up though <3
PostPosted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 6:45 pm


Perhaps Google just thought you needed a break?

This blog uses both terms, and was posted in '09.

There is this forum post from '06.

An interview from '05 found on polyamoryonline.org

and finally, the earliest result my Google-fu was able to produce...was this thread from 2000. "Is polygamy related to higher intelligence?"

M00nbat

Anxious Nerd


M00nbat

Anxious Nerd

PostPosted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 7:05 pm


In general, monogamy seems to be the favored term, however.

I'm needing to get ready for work, will try helping with "monamory" when I get home if you still need assistance.
PostPosted: Tue Jun 21, 2011 7:06 pm


Saew
Perhaps Google just thought you needed a break?

This blog uses both terms, and was posted in '09.

There is this forum post from '06.

An interview from '05 found on polyamoryonline.org

and finally, the earliest result my Google-fu was able to produce...was this thread from 2000. "Is polygamy related to higher intelligence?"


Unfortunately none of these are acceptable sources for the essay sad Book resources only. Also it seems like monoamory is used slightly differently across the articles and from the definition that I recall.

Also what search terms did you use because even Graverg couldn't find any mention and his Google-fu is much better than mine.

Seems like the term is at least a little more used than I initially thought it was. Even if it's used slightly differently in places (hell, so is polyamory at this point).

But crisis is averted because I thought I had all my poly-books off the shelf and was riffling through them but I'd missed Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless & Helpless, which is where I'd originally found the term. So I found the book and found the term as he used it.

I would still say it's not terribly widely used. The vast majority of the people in poly communities I've been apart of nearly always just use 'monogamy' except when they're speaking only to the poly community and even then the use of 'monoamory' is a bit rare. To my experience anyway, I've in no way shape or form been heavily involved in many communities, only a relatively select few I found to be the safest. But even so, for it to be so hard to find (at least on my end) seems to sway in the direction of the idea that it's a less frequently used than monogamy.

Ravenscroft used it in his book in '04. I find it interesting ann monroe used in it 2000 and proclaimed she inaugurated a new term. Either she did and it caught on in limited circles, or it already existed in other circles she hadn't visited. But interesting none the less to see how simultaneous evolution of language could possible occur. But I guess it's not too far of a leap.

But I'm rambling. I need to stop rambling. I'm tired. Not physically, but I think I'm rambling because my brain stopped the offswitch awhile ago to force me to write for my essay. Now I can't find the offswitch again D:

Pom Graines
Captain

Familiar Citizen


M00nbat

Anxious Nerd

PostPosted: Wed Jun 22, 2011 8:09 am


Glad you found it! whee
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