It hadn't occurred to her at the time that he was actually dead, it hadn't quite sunk in with her. But now as Delphine Amary sat on her bed wrapping the wound at her side with copious amounts of gauze tape, the memories of her battle with Alkaid and Hematite were free to flash through her mind like a slide show. It had been easy to kill him, as easy as she imagined it to be. There was no problem with going through the motions, but now that she was alone and the adrenaline from her battle had waned there was far more she had to deal with. She was Sailor Nemesis, a Mercenary of the Blood Moon Court, she wasn't supposed to get worked up over something so simple as killing an enemy. If she hadn't killed the Negaverser, he would have taken the chance to kill her first. She had spent hours torturing Negaversers for information and had not gotten so hung up over it. Delphine had dealt with it. Something had... changed in these weeks, but she couldn't point the finger at a single event. It definitely wasn't the BMC's operation, she wouldn't have gone through with what she did if she felt wrong about it.

Closing her eyes, her stomach churned when she realized that she could not even remember the boy's face. All that remained in her memory was the image of his body crumbling against Alkaid, the knowledge that he was dead coming to her without any sort of emotional attachment. It was better, perhaps, not to close her eyes. Reasoning was the only way she was going to get through this. He could have killed her, he had probably taken multiple starseeds from people and destroyed many lives on top of that. The last thing she had heard, the Negaverse had switched gears from stealing starseeds to stealing energy, and stealing energy did not exactly bring about a person's death. But did that mean starseeds still weren't being taken? Hell no. The potential there still existed, new bodies still cropped up from time to time. But had he done it? The country's justice system would have done its best to make damned sure of that, but Delphine hadn't waited for evidence. There could be no evidence to be ********>," she hissed through her teeth. She was goddamn Sailor Nemesis, for ******** sake. She wasn't ******** Sailor Flora, she wasn't a senshi who believed that there could still be redemption for the Negaverse... right? Their crimes were far more evil than what a normal human could commit, yet did every single member of the Negaverse reach such a level of evil as seen in people like Tanzanite? Had she been looking at this the wrong way from the very beginning, viewing each person as part of a whole instead of an individual? They were the Negaverse, not just Tanzanite, Obsidian, Alkaid, and Hematite. But what if there was something wrong with that viewpoint?

No. Everything she had done was necessary. If he hadn't died, she would have been quickly overwhelmed by three Negaversers. Nemesis would have died, and it was not time for her to go. She wasn't ready, not when there was still so much to do in her life. She had a world to save, and she couldn't save the world when she was dead. That was that, and she had to look at the big picture instead of focusing on all the small details of the image. They had to die, so that she could live, so that this world could thrive.

As she laid back in bed to resign herself to sleep, she couldn't help but still think that this was all wrong. This didn't sit... right with her.