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 Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 3:58 am
Things had long since stopped going according to plan.
It sounded good when Tara had thought it up. The therapist said that she was too used to fighting for her life, and it had sounded so right. Surely all she needed was a while to get used to being alive again, rather than fighting and dying and being turned into a zombie and stuck in a coma and whatever else was going on in the soap opera that was senshi life. Surely after a couple of months, she would return, refreshed and revitalized, ready to help defend Destiny City.
All hypotheses were subject to being disproved. This one in particular was being pulled through the shredder. It was more than six months after she had decided to take a vacation. She was neither refreshed nor revitalized. She had no desire whatsoever to protect her fellow citizens. If anything, the thought filled her with abject terror. And so she ran, and kept running. But she couldn't run forever.
That day, Tara decided that what she needed was a treat. Something more than Southern Poultry generic cake, or even Endymann's brand. Because surely, if the cake was good enough, it would refresh and revitalize her in ways that six months R&R could not. A bit of research led her to a new bakery a ways from school. It was a bit pricey, and the type of place she usually avoided, but if she was going to start taking risks again, she was going to at least have some nice cake before she died. Or not died. Ideally she could have her cake and eat it too.
The new bakery was named Morsels. A silly name, Tara thought, but the cakes looked promising. A bell in the doorway jingled as she walked inside, shedding her light spring jacket. She draped it over her arm, then made a beeline for the display cases. The sooner she decided, the sooner she could bite into something delicious.
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Posted: Wed May 25, 2011 1:29 pm
Morsels was a pretty excellent name for the place. They specialized in all sorts of exceedingly fancy cakes, most of which were small, but exquisitely decorated. And came in unusual varieties, too - all sorts of exotic fruits that Marcella had previously only seen advertised in health drinks and fancy smoothies, and with varieties of chocolate that she was unaware existed.
She had been here a few times before, as cake was one of the few things she could get her sister for birthdays and holidays that was both appreciated and not likely something she had just bought for herself.
Today was one hundred per-cent for Marcella herself, though. She had done this on a few occasions, to the point that it might have become a bit of a tradition when she finished finals, but something about sitting at the little cafe tables on the patio with a cup of coffee and a tiny but expensive cake really helped her unwind.
And so she chipped away with archeological care at a chocolate mousse pyramid, hand-dusted in powdered cocoa, and that had had, until Marcella had eaten it, a hand-crafted capstone of raspberry-filled chocolate.
The man at the counter cheerfully pointed Marcella's choice to the girl who had just come in. The raspberry-filled chocolate capstones were freshly made this morning! And with organic raspberries!
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Posted: Mon May 30, 2011 1:54 pm
Tara's first thought was that she should have done more research before choosing a new bakery. While the cakes were undeniably gorgeous, and decidedly unique, they were small. Small on its own wasn't necessarily a bad thing. Nor was expensive. But small and expensive meant that she was either going to have to spend more money, or have less cake. Neither option was particularly enticing.
Still, she was there. And the cakes did look delicious. Tara practically pressed her nose against the glass display case, until the man behind the counter frowned at her. She backed away, and his good humor returned. With an apologetic grin, she continued eying the cakes from a distance. They all looked so good, and the end, it was too difficult for her to make a decision on her own. Glancing around, she saw another girl clearly enjoying the one that the man had recommended. That settled it. "One of those, then. To stay, please."
It took a great deal of self-control to wait until she'd found a seat before digging into her dessert. Before she did, however, she raised her fork to the girl at the table across from her, a silent toast to thank her for inadvertently helping Tara decide.
Of course, if the dessert turned out to be a bust, she would end up blaming a total stranger for it. That was how these things worked.
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Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2011 11:21 am
Marcella had been sort of spacing out, but she did take notice when another girl about her own age sat down at a nearby table. Mid-afternoon dictated that most of the people who could afford small but fancy cakes were probably working. But seeing someone else there lifted the pre-med student's spirits somewhat, fortunately, even if the other girl's gesture confused her somewhat.
She raised her fork in reply with a small smile, then brought the plastic points back down through the layers of mousse in her own little cake. Only as she ate that forkful did she notice that the stranger had the same cake.
"Aah, is this one today's special?" the brown-haired girl inquired aloud after she had swallowed. "It is pretty hard to beat fresh raspberries, and I think this is the best time for them."
Her own selection process had come down to a run-off between her usual favorite anything-involving-chocolate-and-hazelnuts, and the raspberry, before Marcella had decided that one could not always get fresh raspberries. And, well. Seize the moment, right?
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Posted: Wed Jun 08, 2011 11:22 pm
Tara wasn't really expecting to get a response. When she did, she smiled, then brought her fork down to the plate. The next few moments were spent carefully driving her fork through the edge of the mousse, raising the fork back to her lips, and savoring the first bite. She closed her eyes as she tasted the rich chocolate of the mousse, combined with the fresh sweetness of the raspberries.
For a girl who took great pleasure in eating frosting straight from the can, a trip like this was quite an unnecessary splurge. And yet from that bite, she knew that it was worth every penny. While Tara likely wouldn't make a habit of visiting this particular bakery, it was perfect for when she wanted to really indulge. And that was exactly what she wanted. Maybe some things did go according to plan after all.
Her eyes were still shut, but she opened them when she heard someone talking. It turned out to be the girl she'd taken her inspiration from. "Is it a special?" she asked, glancing at the case again. "They recommended it to me... and I admit, you seemed to be enjoying yours, so I thought it was worth a try." Tara winked. "You have pretty good taste. I owe you one."
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Posted: Sun Jun 12, 2011 2:24 pm
"Aah," Marcella intoned with a knowing smile as the other girl told her that the recommendation had come based on her choice. "I just thought it looked good, and so I wondered, seeing you get the same thing, if they were advertising it special today. I guess I'm the one showing it off."
She traced the tines of her plastic fork through the mousse, looking up and shaking her head, adding, "You don't owe me anything, though." Marcella laughed a little. "Just enjoy it, I guess."
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Posted: Tue Jul 19, 2011 2:59 pm
"You should totally tell them that," Tara said seriously. "I mean, just watching you enjoy it is sure to increase their business a ton. Maybe you can get your next dessert for free." Her stomach growled softly, reminding Tara that she'd only had one bite of her cake. "But do it fast- I might have to try the advertising schtick myself, if it means I can have another." First things first though, she took another bite, smiling as its rich flavor seemed to fill her entire body.
Enjoy it? "How could anybody not enjoy this?" she asked incredulously, waving her fork to emphasize her point. "It's just... I mean wow. Betty and Duncan are good for everyday, but they've got nothing on these people." Taking another bite, she leaned back in her chair, head tilted towards the ceiling. "Just what I needed... I think."
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Posted: Fri Jul 22, 2011 10:56 am
Marcella laughed lightly and shook her head. "I really shouldn't have more than one of these today. If nothing else, I don't want to get into the habit of having these little cakes every day." Not that she was particularly self-conscious about her weight, but simply believed in all things in moderation. Marcella was aware that she had some pretty fatty comfort foods, and if she allowed too many lapses in self control when it came to them, then, well, she might just have to start worrying about her weight.
She nodded in agreement about needing the cake for the moment, though. "Yeah, you pay for all the love they put into these, but you can definitely taste it, too. Quick and easy things are nice and all, but you have to indulge in something that didn't come out of an assembly line by way of a plastic wrapper sometimes."
Taking another bite of her cake, and then scraping some of the mousse off of the little silvery-cardboard disc the cake had come on, Marcella studied the other girl for a moment, then asked her, "Do you come here a lot?"
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Posted: Thu Aug 18, 2011 10:42 pm
"Better to have little cakes every day than big ones," said the girl who kept a can of cake frosting in her room for when sugar cravings hit. Her diet was far from balanced, and it was only her active lifestyle that kept her in any sort of shape. Every so often, she would vow to eat better, but these whims were few and far between, rarely lasting longer than a day or two before she lapsed into her old bad habits. To her, afternoon cake was normal, and it was only the quality of this particular cake that qualified it as a treat.
Tara had never thought of her cake as being made with love, however, just that it was pricey and probably made with better ingredients than the usual grocery-store variety. Seeing it that way put the whole store into a new light, and suddenly the price didn't seem too steep. "I like that," she said emphatically, taking another bite with gusto.
The whole experience was so new to her that she thought it was obvious she didn't make a habit of it, but apparently she had to clarify. "Cake's nothing new to me, but I don't exactly make a habit out of this." She gestured to the cases, then the cake, with her fork. "I just needed something special today. I mean, when you've got cake- and not just any cake, but really, really good cake- everything else can't be so bad. Right?"
She glanced at her dining companion, as if desperate for a confirmation.
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Posted: Mon Aug 22, 2011 7:08 pm
Marcella responded with a smile that was understanding, but not mirthful, telling the other girl simply, "I know what you mean."
She was quiet for a moment, save for the sound of chewing chocolate crust, but that sounded far louder to her than to anyone else. Cake was normal, too, and her life needed some doses of normal from time to time.
At length, the brunette glanced back to her companion in cake and offered, "My name is Marcella, by the way. I do cake every now and then, and not always here, but I may see you again, I guess, if you keep coming back here." The lingering possibility that anyone in Destiny City, including this other girl, could end up seeing her in the ER, as well, nagged at the pre-med student's mind, too, but she left that thought unvoiced; she never hoped to see anyone at work.
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Posted: Thu Aug 25, 2011 11:07 pm
It was probably meant to be sympathetic and nothing more, but Tara took those simple words as an invitation to keep talking. Mostly because she took just about everything as an invitation to keep talking. But partly because she really needed someone to talk to. Since nobody could possibly understand what she was going through, a total stranger was as good as anybody else.
"It's just," she started, and then everything came out from there. "I'm eighteen years old. Eighteen. That's still a teenager. It's too soon to be worrying about all these decisions they're trying to pile on me." To fight, or not to fight? Nobody else even seemed to think about it, which made her guilty for thinking she had a choice, but not ready to fight the good fight. "This isn't the sort of thing I should give into peer pressure for, though, right? I mean, it's okay to follow the club when it's about hairstyles or boys or whatever, if that's your thing, but when it's a matter of life or-"
Tara cut herself off there, realizing that she might have said too much. "Sorry. My name's Tara, it's nice to meet you," she said quickly, shoving another bite of cake in her mouth and chewing slowly to avoid spilling anything else.
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 9:02 am
If the other girl wanted to talk, Marcella would listen. She was not sure she would be able to help with anything, certainly not problems with school or friends or peer pressure. Her usual tactic was not caring. That had gotten her through Crystal, focusing solely on her work and ignoring all of the chattering girls, stinking gossip, dumb parties....
Wait, a matter of what? Life or death? Was that what she was going to say? The pre-med student could not be sure what, exactly, the other girl was talking about, but ... considering what she knew from her other life as a senshi, Marcella started to wonder.
Though on the other hand, it was always impossible to tell while powered down what side anyone fought on. An excellent breeding ground for paranoia, but it was another thing that Marcella tried not to let get to her.
"Nice to meet you, too, Tara," she replied. She glanced down at her plate, then at the other girl, then picked up the last of her raspberry cake to join her at the other table.
Being closer made her feel more acutely that she was not the one to offer such advice. But perhaps it would be a bit of practice in bedside manner. "I'm studying medicine, and I know I'll have to make tough decisions someday, but I know that the best way I can do that is if I focus on what's important and try not to worry about myself. I'll have people to help, and I have to focus on them." Was this helping? "I figure I'll have to take breaks then, too. Take time to eat cake and worry about myself, so when I need to make the hard choices, I'll be able to put my full attention towards it."
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Posted: Sun Sep 04, 2011 3:16 pm
She was a fool, for being so talkative. Tara knew that, but that never stopped her until it was too late. She liked to talk. Or maybe it was less that she liked to talk, and more that she liked to be heard. Either way, she had tipped her hand a little too far this time, and to whom? A girl who was just there to eat cake, whose biggest problems were probably grades or boys or something. And on the off-chance that this wasn’t a plain old person, but something more... Tara shivered. No matter which side she fought on, it would be bad news.
When the other girl moved to join her, she was surprised, then delighted, then dismayed. It was nice that she hadn’t totally spooked her only company, but considering what she had nearly revealed, was it wise to be in close quarters? For a moment, she considered making an excuse to leave. But she was so tired of running, and so desperate to talk to somebody- anybody- that she ended up moving her bag off the table so there was more room. Besides, with her record, it was only a matter of time before she said something outside the allowable spectrum of weirdness.
Whatever she was expecting to hear, this wasn’t it. “That’s amazing.” Tara had a great deal of respect for doctors, understandable considering the amount of time she’d spent in the hospital, both as a patient and a visitor. Nurses were another matter entirely, but she put her grudge against the Irregular Nurse aside and tried to focus. “But how do you know what’s important?” she asked, trying to make it sound casual. “I mean, saving lives is always important. But there’s so many things that can go wrong, and so many different definitions of saving a life. How do you know what the right thing to do is, when there’s different answers?”
The reassurances that taking time for oneself was also important helped to calm Tara down slightly. She was still feeling a bit guilty, but she had to remember that if she wasn’t even able to take care of herself, how would she be able to save others? But when would she be ready to accept responsibility for more than her own fate? Would she ever be ready?
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Posted: Fri Sep 09, 2011 7:50 pm
Marcella took another bite of cake, and sucked on the spoon for a moment to keep from frowning at Tara's praise. Not that she disliked it, but, well, that sort of thing always made her feel a little weird.
"If I have a patient, that's what's important." Her response to that question was prompt and certain. "I may not know what the right answer for every situation is, but I meant that I try not to worry about my own problems while I'm working on theirs."
She took a deep breath and sighed then, and went on, "I guess experience is really the only thing that can teach me. I read case studies to learn past precedents, but nothing is ever going to be the same twice. The best I can do is put all I know towards finding the right answer, but even then, new situations always crop up." Marcella trailed off, dragging the edge of her spoon through some of the icing her cake left behind.
"But I have to be able to give it my all to start. I get what I give, so I can't be distracted and still expect the best result."
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Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2011 8:18 pm
“But what if it’s not enough?” Tara put down her fork, her eyes boring a hole in her dessert because she couldn’t bring herself to look up for this part. “I mean, I think it’s really admirable, what you’re doing, and it definitely sounds like you’re doing everything right. Research, mental state, that sort of thing. But sometimes it still isn’t enough, right? Things still go wrong. And because you’re in charge, it’s your responsibility.” Your fault, she added mentally.
This was not a rhetorical situation, not anymore. It was a bit jarring to Tara, realizing that saving lives as a senshi and as a doctor had quite a bit in common. But doctors didn’t generally have to hide from people and monsters trying to kill them- unless they lived in Destiny City, where anything was possible.
“I know that you’re not supposed to let your feelings interfere with your work. And I know that letting this sort of thing stop you from helping more people would be bad. I do know that, it’s just... how? How do you keep functioning, when you know that sometimes nothing you do will make any difference in the end?”
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