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[Q] Lt. Cuprite // Raven Moore [Critsplz?]

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Orangeish Sherbert

Lonely

PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2011 6:58 pm


Name: Raven Moore

Nickname: “The Raven”

Age: 17

Birthday: August 8th

Sign: Leo

Gemstone: Peridot

Blood Type: B

Fav. Food: Frosted Mini Wheats in Vanilla Soy Milk Yum. So very Yum.

Hated Food: Pop Tarts. Too many calories, and they taste--and look like cardboard.

School: DCU in the fall


Hobbies:
Two Four Six Eight! Who Do we appreciate?: Cheerleading. The quickest, most efficient way of annoying her perfectly tragic, dark poem loving parents. Why on earth would anyone name their daughter Raven Never Moore, just because they were…and still do Worship Poe and the poetry and stories he wrote. No. Cheerleading was the most effective way to pave her own way in the world. Raven loves to practice and can often be seen doing so around the park and other locations in DC.

Ice Skating: Something new that Raven has started, and she finds…She quite likes it. Apart from the falling on her bum most of the time. She’s thought of taking lessons, possibly trying to go professional, though, has decided on just keeping it as her stress relieving hobby for right now.

Poetry: Perhaps her darkest secret, something she has in common with her parents, that she supposes she can't escape. Raven doesn't believe that her poems are that good, but quite a few were featured in her highschool's newspaper, back before she moved to Destiny City. They were all signed 'The Raven', of course, and when people found out that it was truly Raven who wrote them, she was quite mortified. That is quite honestly how she received her most hated nickname. Of course, Raven's poetry has gone to good use too...(Good in her eyes, at least.) When she has a crush, she always manages to slip them a poem or two, never signing them. Not going to get into that mess again.


Virtues:
It doesn’t matter what happens, this will get finished.: Focused. No matter what, if Raven starts a task, she will finish it. Be it her homework, her fifteen page term paper, reading a seven hundred page book or painting a room, there is nothing that will stop Raven from finishing it. No exceptions. She doesn’t let things get in her way. Fear of heights and a duty to be on top of the pyramid? Who cares, she’ll be there, smiling away. The end is what’s important, not the difficulties that gets here there. So long as it gets finished.

You catch more flies with honey... Always polite. Raven is to her parents as night is to day, and she always has a fear that people will judge her based on how...dark...her parents are. To thwart the impending judgement from both her peers and her elders, Raven always is as polite as she believes it is humanly possible to be. She will go out of her way to hold doors for others, do little errands if someone is tied up. As the years have gone on, Raven has begun to realize, that people tend to do her more kindnesses as well, so being polite has many perks.

You can do it, I know you can. Supportive. Perhaps this has come from Raven's cheerleading history, but she always likes to see people meet their goals and succeed in whatever they are trying to accomplish. It seems like, if she knows you, and likes you, even a little, Raven can easily become someone's personal cheerleader, encouraging them to truly try their best. When the person in question does succeed, (Or even fail.) Raven is always ready to take them for a celebratory, (or consoling) ice cream. Her treat!

Flaws

Yeah...so my mom's very sick... Compulsive Liar. Raven never meant to become such a liar, it started out simple. Excuses back in elementary school, perhaps in the fourth grade or so. When friends would ask to come over, Raven would make up some excuse as to why they couldn't. As the years progressed, the 'excuses' began to be used for more than just friends asking to come to her house. Now, quite often, Raven won't realize she's telling a falsehood, either about her home life, or about her past, (Why, with only living in Destiny City for a little over a year, how will they ever know?). It has almost gotten so bad, that Raven herself is having trouble distinguishing the truth from her near constant stream of lies.

Oh...that paper is due soon...I'll start it later. Procrastinating. While Raven can finish tasks like a pro, getting them started is one of her biggest issues. She quite often finds excuses, making other things she needs to do, and putting them into her top priority slots in her mind. Normally, if there is an essay or some other project for school, she will end up starting the night before. She always finishes mind you, but leaving things to the last minute is one of Raven's biggest issues. She's working on it...she always tells herself she'll change her ways...tomorrow.

You did that on purpose! How dare you! Quick to anger. For as polite as Raven can normally be, if you manage to get on her bad side, watch out. Like really. Get some earplugs. If Raven is upset with you, she will let you know..in the loudest way possible. It doesn't take much to set her off, and once she has been set off, it's a while to get her to stop complaining to you about what a miserable excuse for a human being you are. Perhaps the only reason her temper hasn't lost her every friend she's ever had...is due to the fact that there aren't many things that aren't known that can set her off like this.
PostPosted: Mon May 23, 2011 6:59 pm


User ImageNegaverse Alias: Lieutenant Cuprite

Challenge: Cheering for the Darkness!

Uniform: ELEMENTS TO THINK ABOUT FOR UNIFORM


THINK EVIL MILITARY/BUSINESS CASUAL

Top – Knee length Cheerleaders outfit. Something almost like the second from the right in this picture, only made to look like a cheerleading outfit rather than a trenchcoat
Bottoms – Ends in a very small edge of pleating, think, like three inch pleats
Gloves – Nope~
Belt – No belt
ShoesThese boots Dark grey with red trim
Shoulders -- None
Accessories – Deep red bows in her hair
Weapon – Starts out as a pair of Pom Poms.
Evolves into PomPoms with some limited magic, by channeling energy through them, the streamers become stiff and sharper, almost like she’s wielding a pair of pompom blades. The streamers are still very brittle however, and can be broken.
Finally that evolves into an even more magical item, the sharp streamers which have become less brittle, and can shoot out at people! Wahoo. ATTACK OF THE KILLER POMPOMS! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!


Main color: Dark Grey
Secondary color: Deep red.

Orangeish Sherbert

Lonely


Orangeish Sherbert

Lonely

PostPosted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 11:18 pm


Finnnnnally. Open for crits~ =D
PostPosted: Sun Aug 21, 2011 9:32 pm


You had me at killer pompoms. biggrin

More seriously, though, her hobbies and personality make sense and I don't see any huge things wrong. Her one flaw, though, you say "if you manage to get on her bad side" like it's hard to do, but the flaw makes it sound like she's quick to anger, so it wouldn't be hard to do that at all. I think you could just say, "If you get on her bad side...". That's all I notice, for now.

Tenko72

Benevolent Genius

13,900 Points
  • Grunny Harvester 150
  • Bunny Hoarder 150
  • Mark Twain 100

cibarium

Noob

PostPosted: Sun Aug 28, 2011 8:25 pm


User Image - Blocked by "Display Image" Settings. Click to show.

The quest is approved, but disclaimer on the uniform: Cheerleading outfits both look a lot like senshi uniforms and are a little overly casual-looking for the Negaverse, so making a cheerleader Nega appearance-wise might be kind of difficult. I see you have some really lovely refs for the top and boots, but I just wanted to leave the note that you might have to be a bit flexible with your artist if you win this character.

This concept sounds like she would be tons of fun, though! <3
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