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It was late evening, and the sun was slowly sinking below the horizon. Lieutenant Gypsum had made a special, early appearance this afternoon, and was now sitting atop the scaffolding of a construction project overlooking the stadium where Meadowview's team was facing off another school from out of town. Guen wished she could be down there - but this was the best she could do. Crystal Academy's team had never been good enough to merit matches against teams from other cities. It was exciting, but a little sad- being on the outside, looking in. She wondered if any of the girls on their team were the same as the ones that Crystal had been pitted against last season. If they were, she was certain they'd do well- they'd been good.

Meadowview made a goal, and she stood up, whooping and cheering- and nearly lost her balance. She was suddenly very glad she'd decided to take this trip powered up- she was pretty sure there was no way she'd have been as confident about scaling the half-completed building. It undeniably had the best view of all the structures surrounding the field. So what if everyone looked like ants from here? It looked kind of like the play by plays they sometimes had online- with the little animated pictures that used colored dots to represent the players.

It was certainly more fun that staying home and finishing homework.

"What? With their team, there's no way I could be bad enough to..." Gypsum started to automatically reply, but trailed off, stiffening.

THERE. IS. SOMEONE. BEHIND ME?

How distracted had she BEEN? Sure, this had probably been the best soccer game she'd had the opportunity to watch in a long time- but that was no excuse for being so inattentive. She was still powered up, which let to a terrible possibility. Man, don't let this be another senshi. Those bruises just healed up... Maybe it was just some creeper. Some decidedly female creeper, judging by the voice. Still, she just wanted to watch a game, not pick a fight, civilian or otherwise. She turned around as slowly and unthreateningly as possible. She kept a death grip on the scaffolding under her fingertips though, just in case whoever it was tried to push her over.

Oh, lovely. It WAS a senshi. "Well. Uh. To answer your question, no. I mean, it'd be hard to do from here anyway, and I'd LOVE to get down there and play, but I probably WOULD screw everything up. But um, if you're going to beat me up, could you do it quickly? The match just started, so I think if you hit me in this eye," she gestured toward her left, "I can probably still keep up." She absolutely expected this to go badly. Pessimist? Her? She figured, she might lose her depth perception, and getting back down from her perch would be difficult, but she hoped if she offered no resistance it would go well.

Well, better than last time, anyway.

Surprisingly, things seemed to be looking up. Gypsum let herself relax a little. It didn't look like she'd be taking a beating after all - not yet, anyway.Guen was even more surprised when she offered a much less painful ultimatum. She wondered if the girl would believe her when she told her she knew almost nothing. She started to open her mouth to say just that, but paused. Why bother with the truth? Maybe if she invented some incredible story, she'd get off the hook- and not have to worry about accidentally giving out trade secrets.

Whatever. She'd try the truth first, but if that failed... "Sure. You can sit, you know. " She patted the rebar next to her invitingly. If they were going to do this, they might as well both be comfortable. "What do you want to know? I'm kind of new to all this, mind you. But I don't think Queen Whatsername is going to come after me for having a little chat over a game. Hopefully." She grinned hopelessly. If she were going to get in trouble, she might as well deserve it. Besides, she'd never gotten to talk to a senshi before.

"Can I ask a few questions in return? I won't ask where the batcave is or anything, I promise. I've just always wondered how things went on your side."

Gypsum shrugged. If it made the girl feel better to stand, she could do as she liked. She watched the other girl pacing, patiently awaiting her questions. She was somewhat pleased that the senshi felt confident enough to give her her name- that was a good sign, right? Even as a negaverse Lieutenant, Guen was slow to see the point in conflict- if this could be handled peacefully, all the better.

"Lieutenant Gypsum," she replied smartly. "It's nice to meet you, Sailor Kallichore. " She smiled in as friendly a manner as she could manage. From her behavior, she doubted this girl was much older than her- funny, how that worked out. It was a little like being on an opposing sports team, she mused- of course, ignoring the rather completely opposite methodology. She gave herself a moment to consider her question seriously. Why had she joined the negaverse? There were a lot of reasons. Part of it was that she felt it was really her only choice - and that was the big difference, wasn't it? She CHOSE to be here tonight, to steal energy from those she felt were undeserving. They'd earned it, after all, hadn't they? She couldn't turn a blind eye on the malcontents of society anymore. The negaverse had offered power, power she would never have had as a normal girl. There was sure to be a price to pay- but that was a problem for another day, in her mind. Besides, she knew, deep down in her soul... She would never be the good guy. She wasn't strong enough. She wasn't brave enough. She wasn't worthy enough. That last thought rankled.

Aloud, she said, "I've thought about it alot, myself. I mean, this is all new to me, mind, you, but. I feel like... I belong now. It's weird. I have people I matter to, even if it's based on how useful I can be, or how good I am at what I do- those things really are important. And. I know I'm not a good person, not really." She paused then, as the crowd cheered. She hardly heard it; she was in a dark place, now. She stared blindly out at the city lights beyond. "But the Negaverse gives me power. The power to make them pay." She frowned a little then.

"No one is really good, you know. Not on the inside. Not when it counts." She wasn't sure where that thought had come from- but it felt right.

She shook her head, ponytail bouncing. "Um, so, basically that's it," she said, scratching the back of her head and looking a little sheepish. She was more than a little embarrassed at her sudden outburst of over-information. Well, she DID ask.

"Why'd you become a Scout? Besides the uniforms," she added teasingly.

Make someone pay. Had she said that? Even as she thought it, she remembered. She shrugged uncomfortably. She wasn't used to this much introspection.

"Yes...and no, I guess. It's not important anymore. But... There are bad people out there, and they deserve to be punished. Not just for me. Is it really so bad to want that?"

"I've seen good people," she added defensively, "I've seen what they do when things get hard. They give up. Just like that. Because, what's most important, is...is..." She paused, but continued with renewed conviction, "What's most important is yourself." She tucked her knees up under her chin, huddling in the dark. It had been hard to admit that out loud: she felt a twinge of guilt even as she'd said it. But that doesn't make it any less true. She sighed unhappily. "It's not just about belonging. It's... I don't have to pretend anymore. Pretend like I'm good enough. Act like I don't think terrible things, sometimes. We're judged by performance, not virtue." She frowned, darkly. Not a lot of virtue to go around there, really.

She listened to the girl's story, about becoming a senshi. Gypsum hadn't been chosen like that. Well, not really. She had to earn her place among the ranks of the Negaverse - it wasn't some kind of divine gift. Well alright, to be fair, it didn't sound like Kallichore had had an easy time either - nearly getting killed was something Guen had so far been relatively spared from. She had been asked to join, or had she been conscripted? It was all kind of fuzzy now.

"It wasn't Queen Beryl, I...I don't really remember anymore. I guess I should. I guess I should care that I don't remember but..." Don't fix what ain't broke, she thought, but instead finished lamely with, "I think I'm happier now. I have a purpose. Plus, I'm careful! Not everyone is careful. I make sure they're bad first." She seemed earnest, now. "You know, the...people." She swallowed, and said in a small voice, "I've never really hurt anybody. Never...never killed anybody. Not like that." She wanted someone to believe her. She felt like she had made the right decision, but as always, she never really trusted herself.

Finally, she asked something that had been bugging her for some time about the senshi. "We have Queen Beryl. She unites us and organizes us as a unit. But you senshi...I don't know much, but it just seems so chaotic for you. Don't you guys have like, a leader?" She felt the need to add disdainfully, "Our Queen may not be the nicest, but she's there for us. She's behind us, all the way."

Gypsum couldn't deny her words- she knew it was true, what the Negaverse did. But she was sure they had their reasons. It didn't matter anymore, anyway -she'd signed her ticket. Doubting herself wasn't going to help her any.

"It wasn't painful. It was. Easy," she said, trying to remember. "I remember bits and pieces. It's like..." It's like I'm losing myself to some monster, she thought. But she had decided to let the monster win, not so long ago. It was so much easier, after all, wasn't it? Self control. That was something Gypsum certainly didn't need anymore. No, in the Negaverse, indulgence was almost a prescribed behavior. She doesn't know what I've done, Guen thought. She couldn't understand. She was a senshi... she was destined to be something great. She felt a pang of jealousy. Gypsum was just another Lieutenant. To be more, she'd have to claw her way to the top. She couldn't keep wallowing in doubt and self pity. Especially not in front of the enemy.

She knew distantly that she was being unfair to the other girl - she had probably faced trials and tribulations as bad or worse than her own - but she didn't care. "If it just happened to you, was it really a choice?" She got up, dusting her knees. "I may not remember much, but I know mine was. Even if it was wrong, it was my mistake to make." She said this almost proudly. "You can try and stop us, but end the end, who's got more to lose - the one decided to dedicate themselves to the cause, or the ones who were destined?."

She glanced at the distant game. Somehow, she wasn't as interested anymore. "I'm not good enough to be good, but I think I might be bad enough to be bad."

It was Gypsum's turn to pace, now. Kallichore was right, after a fashion, she grudgingly admitted. She could just quit, but she had kept on going. Gypsum on the other hand, didn't have that option. But hey, no one from on high had come down to offer her any kind of magical senshi power, either. She may have given in to the proverbial dark side at a moment of weakness, but she couldn't afford to have that weakness anymore. She had taken what she could get, as far as she was concerned.

Her heels clicked over the concrete and rebar and she traced the other girl's path. "Just throw it away, huh? No, I think the only way out for someone like me -" is to throw myself away. She stopped suddenly, looking out at the expanse of the ground below. That would never really be an option, for her. "Well then, I suppose maybe for me it's more about survival. Thanks for being polite with me. I'm not sure if this conversation has helped me or hurt me, but -" she took a breath,"but I think I needed to hear it. I guess. I don't really have any fancy quotes for you. I've gotta believe what I've gotta believe, for my own sake."

She stared almost meekly at the senshi's shoes. "Besides, I've never hurt anyone who didn't deserve it. I know I can say that." Not that anyone would believe me. She leaned against a pipe that jutted crudely out the concrete platform, arms crossed and looking uncomfortable. "Did you have any more questions?" She met her eyes then, and the stadium lights flickered. Was it the halftime break, or was the game already over?