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The Committee Staff Gaian
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 Posted: Sun Feb 05, 2006 8:46 pm
I'm feeling kind of lost right now. I just found out by searching MySpace for my girlfriend's page that she's been cheating on me for a few months now. And it really hurts too, becuase I trusted her. I trusted her not to do something like that, even though her family was boarding her ex. Even though she was never around so that she could hang out with her ex. I trusted her with my heart, and she didn't even seem to respect it. How do I know she's been cheating? They've been exchanging love notes through their comments. No wonder why she never gave me her MySpace link. I bet she never thought I'd be smart enough to find it out myself. I checked both pages, and both say they're in a relationship. Now, my girlfriend's could have been with me, but her ex won't date anyone else. She said as much. And I know she isn't dating anyone else, so put one and one together... Yeah. This would have been a lot easier if she had just told me back in October (when the notes start) rather then leave me to find out like this. I really wish that she had told me. I know I need to break up with her, but part of me doesn't want to. It's really bothersome and painful. I still care for her. I guess she just doesn't really care for me.
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Posted: Mon Feb 06, 2006 8:13 pm
I had a similar story not long ago, but it was even worse. After I found out, she tried to pass it off as if we never dated and I was a stalker. The nerve! Of course, I knew a friend of her's (who was the informant) that disbanded these rumors.
One thing I've learned from having four relationships that ended with the other party cheating on me, and one that ended on a good note, is that it's not worth brooding over an ex, especially one that cheated. If they can cheat, they aren't worth your time. You need to end it. You may still have feelings, but trust me, you need to simply end it with a "we're through." Nothing hearfelt-- she doesn't deserve it. It may sound harsh, but she should have thought about the consequences of cheating.
I know you can't get over it right away, that it'll take time-- I completely understand. Do things you love, and try to avoid things that remind you of your ex. Gradually reintroduce things that you like that remind you of her. It will help you get over it all.
Obviously, guy's are likely to deal with it better than women (not to be sexist or anything, it's just generally that way. I'm a lot more open with emotions than most guys, but yeah, you know how we are for the most part). I didn't have to go through nearly as much as more relations were added to my repitoire. My last relationship I got over almost instantly when I found out she cheated.
And, if you've seen a topic I created recently, I've moved on. THat's what you need to put all of your focus upon: moving on to the next girl. You're only 16-- you're young! Remember, and there's plenty of time. Live your live! Have fun! Don't put so much importance upon teenage relationships!
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 10:23 am
I kinda know how you feel. My girlfriend just broke up with me.. and well I still love her very much.. but she made it clear that her feeling aren't the same.
Im really sorry that she did this to you. It's childish to go behind someones back and do something like this and leave your heart in the middle of their selfish desires.
(hugs) I hope things work out for you. Just keep looking up and going foward.. it's all we can do.
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Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2006 2:50 am
Thank you both, I really appriciate it. I am working to get over her, but I haven't completely called it off yet. I'm really scared at doing that. I'm just not good at ending things, and I hate change. Go figure. sweatdrop She's dropped out of school again, so I doubt we'll really see each other again, if ever, and we're limited to using the phone and computer for conversation. Maybe this will make it easier, since there will be such a lack of contact. I hope so. I really don't want a difficulty in my life with this one again. Not like last time. I'd rather end on a bit nicer note. Once again, thanks for the advice. I'll put it to good use.
And AK, I am so sorry to hear that. Was it with your Gaia wife, or different relationship?
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The Committee Staff Gaian
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Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2006 6:03 am
I know how you feel. I dont like change myself.. But things happen and I suppose we have to pick up the pieces and go on as best we know how. I think that you should go ahead and end it with her. To be honest, I dont think she's worth the tears after she did that to you. You're beautiful and you deserve alot better.
And.. my gaian wife was supposed to be my real girlfriend. But she decided that it would be best for both of us if we broke up. So.. now we just have this little "pretend" family and we pick around. (shrugs)
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Posted: Sat Feb 11, 2006 4:27 pm
Yeah, I will. I guess I just get very attatched. And it also kind of makes me wonder if I'm just bad at relationships or something, because both relationships with my girlfriends have ended badly. sweatdrop
Awww, I'm sorry to here about that AK. Hopefully, you two are still friends, right?
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The Committee Staff Gaian
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Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 4:46 am
I get very attatched also. But dont worry, you'er not bad at relationships, it's just that sometimes things dont go as well as we want them to. You'll find the right girl one day and I think that holding on to this girl will just make things worse for you in the end. Unless you both just stop talking all together. Im not sure. Im no expert on relationships, Im just going by what I think would be a better approach to this. Im sorry..
And Yah, Arie and I are still friends. Which has a bitter sweet taste to it, you know? Im still hurting pretty bad over it but dont feel sad for me because I know it'll be ok. It's not like I haven't had to force my feelings down about a friend before anyways.
But seriously, if you need to talk to anyone, you can talk to me. My net is still down so I have to use my work computer but you can pm and I'll try my best to get back to you. Or you could just post it here, either way I'll see it and do my best to help you out.
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Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 5:46 pm
Well, she dropped out of school again (did I mention she's 4 years older than me?) and so I don't get to see her or talk to her anymore. I'd call, but you never know when she's home. So unless she calls here (highly unlikely) we don't talk much... It took almost three weeks for me to find out she'd left school again. sweatdrop So I guess we really don't talk anymore.
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The Committee Staff Gaian
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Posted: Mon Feb 13, 2006 6:41 am
Hmm.. she doesn't seem to care about you imo. She's not communicating, she's not being honest, she's not being open.. and that's really ******** sad. I dont see any reason to keep someone going if you dont like them anymore. I think it'd hurt less by being up front with them than leading them on and ending it badly. But dont blame yourself for this cause you've said that maybe it's because you're bad at relationships. It's not your fault she decided to do what she did to you. And for your best interest at heart, I really think you should move on. There are better people out there. You're a goddess.. and so you should be treated as such. whee 3nodding
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Posted: Tue Feb 21, 2006 1:44 pm
I'm really sorry to hear that happened to you sweatdrop . Have you two broken up yet xp ? I'd take sometime off from the dating scene for a little while, just to feel okay again. Then find someone who feel treat you right, because that is unacceptable talk2hand .
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