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 Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 10:59 pm
It feels like I've tried everything; meetups, plenty of fish's friend section, platonic section on Craigslist, I've gone to bars and concerts. I'm friendly, people always take down my information and I give them mine, but they never end up contacting me back.
I need to find friends that are pretty open minded and non judgmental as well. I do nude modeling as well as solo adult modeling, etc. I find it silly that people can't get over things like that. It's just a job and it's how I'm going to manage to get myself through school and have a career. But people aren't very accepting to my lifestyle choices, which is why I lost my old friends. Well, I thought they were my friends until they chose to end the friendship and start spreading rumors that I was a crack whore on the street selling my body for $30 a pop. It felt like high all over again. ):
Anyhow I was wondering if anyone was in the same boat- strippers, adult models, porn stars, escorts, dominatrix's, phone sex girls, web cam girls, rent boys, transvestites, people with fetishes, etc? Anyone really who is a misfit when it comes to 'the social norm'. It's hard to find people who will accept you and your choices, or even just the way you are in general. I would love having someone I could talk to who can relate <3
I was also wondering if anyone had any advice on how to make friends, especially ones that are open minded. I'm very lonely, to be honest. I've had no friends for over a year now, it's been tough.
Thank you to anyone who tries to help, gives advice, or understands. (:
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 11:29 pm
Well I can't really relate to the adult modeling bit (though I'm an art student and have seriously considering doing it for the extra cash), but as for the friend's thing I can sort of relate. I've always been... socially awkward, to put it in a way I understand. What friends I have I've cultivated after years of weeding out the fakes and pretenders, and sorting them out into acquaintances, school friends, and real friends, and even now I hide a lot from them. I got lucky with them, they're more accepting than one usually finds, but when it comes to things I draw (leaning towards dark and what they consider "creepy"), my sense of humour (twisted at best), and even the way I dress sometimes (tried wearing a top hat and frock coat last week and got told "I'm seriously not walking with you if you're wearing that"), I get mocked and/or questioned or unknowingly put-down by most of them. Sometimes they just don't understand the things I do and say and so become rather difficult to deal with. So maybe I could relate to that, though I know I haven't gone through what your ex-friends have put you through and done to you.
As for advice... generally I make acquaintances with a few people at a time, just two or three that I see a lot. From there, I just find out if I can stand talking to them, and if I can I find out more about them. See if they're interested in the same general things I am. After that, if we seem to have a lot in common, I just talk to them and hang out with them more and more. It tends to work okay. There's always hits and misses and complete failures, but that's how I've managed to keep going this long.
I don't know if my advice will be of any help to you at all (I'll repeat: Even on the internet I'm awkward as hell and can't ever think of the right things to say), but I sincerely hope that you can manage to find a good group of people to call friends. (:
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Posted: Sun Apr 24, 2011 11:44 pm
Don't judge me
Just love me.
I'm not a criminal, I'm innocent
So come and set me free!Well... to be honest, I'm not the best "friend maker" But, that's only because I'm really shy in so many ways.. So one thing NOT to do, is wait for people to come to you. Cause I did that in middle school, and i had no friends for the 2 of the 3 years of it...
Anyway, have you tried talking to people in your neighborhood or school? Maybe people in the same classes you're taking will turn out to be good friends...
And maybe if someone doesn't like the decisions you make, you can try explaining why you do it? Like, supposedly you might have had low self esteem and it makes you feel beautiful or something? (this is just an example, sweatdrop ) Usually things like that help people understand that you're not doing it to be a whore...
And possibly try to wait a while before telling people what you want to be. cause maybe if you find whoever has a lot in common, THEN tell them and see if they like you for who you are.. 3nodding
That's really all I can think of in your situation...
I hope this helps at least a little bit... = ^ . ^ = I choose ecstasy.
And music's my religion.
Magic is my kingdom
And the dance floor is my heaven.
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 1:21 am
A Hope In Hell Well I can't really relate to the adult modeling bit (though I'm an art student and have seriously considering doing it for the extra cash), but as for the friend's thing I can sort of relate. I've always been... socially awkward, to put it in a way I understand. What friends I have I've cultivated after years of weeding out the fakes and pretenders, and sorting them out into acquaintances, school friends, and real friends, and even now I hide a lot from them. I got lucky with them, they're more accepting than one usually finds, but when it comes to things I draw (leaning towards dark and what they consider "creepy"), my sense of humour (twisted at best), and even the way I dress sometimes (tried wearing a top hat and frock coat last week and got told "I'm seriously not walking with you if you're wearing that"), I get mocked and/or questioned or unknowingly put-down by most of them. Sometimes they just don't understand the things I do and say and so become rather difficult to deal with. So maybe I could relate to that, though I know I haven't gone through what your ex-friends have put you through and done to you. As for advice... generally I make acquaintances with a few people at a time, just two or three that I see a lot. From there, I just find out if I can stand talking to them, and if I can I find out more about them. See if they're interested in the same general things I am. After that, if we seem to have a lot in common, I just talk to them and hang out with them more and more. It tends to work okay. There's always hits and misses and complete failures, but that's how I've managed to keep going this long. I don't know if my advice will be of any help to you at all (I'll repeat: Even on the internet I'm awkward as hell and can't ever think of the right things to say), but I sincerely hope that you can manage to find a good group of people to call friends. (: I can definitely relate to you with the whole wearing something different thing. I think everyone should be able to wear what they want, why dress like everybody else? But I have had friends before that would say the same kind of thing. Just be yourself and wear what you want and the people who are also a bit different in their tastes and wear different types of clothing will end up gravitating towards you. Unfortunately even the ones that dress differently usually aren't open minded enough to accept what I do for money. But minimum wage is hardly enough to live off of, let alone save up for school with! Not everybody's parents pay for secondary education, some can't afford that.
I find that many people in the world seem to lack the ability to see things from another persons perspective. I've seen people kick over a homeless persons change cup and yell at them to get a job, and I always hate that. Because it isn't that easy for everyone- some people have disabilities or mental illnesses and where I live they have cut the funding for all of that so they can barely survive. Plus there are not many places that will hire someone who doesn't have an address or even a phone number for that matter. Or who doesn't have a clean change of clothing or a place to shower.
People can be very cruel, I wish that they could live in their shoes for a week and see how hard it is to make it up from the bottom.
And about your friends, I would walk beside you no matter what you're wearing as long as you were a true friend, so I don't think they are very good friends. A good person and loyal friend deserves a lot better than a friend like that (:
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 1:44 am
--Untoten Kase-- Don't judge me
Just love me.
I'm not a criminal, I'm innocent
So come and set me free!Well... to be honest, I'm not the best "friend maker" But, that's only because I'm really shy in so many ways.. So one thing NOT to do, is wait for people to come to you. Cause I did that in middle school, and i had no friends for the 2 of the 3 years of it...
Anyway, have you tried talking to people in your neighborhood or school? Maybe people in the same classes you're taking will turn out to be good friends...
And maybe if someone doesn't like the decisions you make, you can try explaining why you do it? Like, supposedly you might have had low self esteem and it makes you feel beautiful or something? (this is just an example, sweatdrop ) Usually things like that help people understand that you're not doing it to be a whore...
And possibly try to wait a while before telling people what you want to be. cause maybe if you find whoever has a lot in common, THEN tell them and see if they like you for who you are.. 3nodding
That's really all I can think of in your situation...
I hope this helps at least a little bit... = ^ . ^ = I choose ecstasy.
And music's my religion.
Magic is my kingdom
And the dance floor is my heaven. Unfortunately I haven't saved up enough for school yet, but since I am making more money now secondary education is a hope for me ^.^
I have spoken to people in my neighborhood a bit, but most of them seem a bit sketchy or nothing ever comes of it. I am moving to a new neighborhood soon though, so maybe there will be some kindred spirits lurking around there (:
It's surprising to find, but usually if I befriend someone for a while so they can get to know me, then they find out what I do and want nothing to do with me, nor do they want to hear my reasoning. I was friends with some people for years (some for 8 years, and the others for 4 years), and they knew me before I did anything like this but when I told them they just completely shunned me out of their life and spread rumours, and I have lost a lot of other friends because of them. I've actually moved away because of them. And to be honest I have better morals (in my opinion) then they do, as I know many of them have cheated or slept with friends partners more than once and not told them. What bothers me is that after some of the things they did that I would say they should come clean for because it was the right thing to do, they said that I was morally wrong for what I was doing- which isn't hurting anyone. Just giving me a chance at a better life, involving further education and a career I love.
Thank you for your advice, I will check around my new area and hopefully find some people who might become my friends (:
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 1:57 am
A Hope In Hell Well I can't really relate to the adult modeling bit (though I'm an art student and have seriously considering doing it for the extra cash), but as for the friend's thing I can sort of relate. I've always been... socially awkward, to put it in a way I understand. What friends I have I've cultivated after years of weeding out the fakes and pretenders, and sorting them out into acquaintances, school friends, and real friends, and even now I hide a lot from them. I got lucky with them, they're more accepting than one usually finds, but when it comes to things I draw (leaning towards dark and what they consider "creepy"), my sense of humour (twisted at best), and even the way I dress sometimes (tried wearing a top hat and frock coat last week and got told "I'm seriously not walking with you if you're wearing that"), I get mocked and/or questioned or unknowingly put-down by most of them. Sometimes they just don't understand the things I do and say and so become rather difficult to deal with. So maybe I could relate to that, though I know I haven't gone through what your ex-friends have put you through and done to you. As for advice... generally I make acquaintances with a few people at a time, just two or three that I see a lot. From there, I just find out if I can stand talking to them, and if I can I find out more about them. See if they're interested in the same general things I am. After that, if we seem to have a lot in common, I just talk to them and hang out with them more and more. It tends to work okay. There's always hits and misses and complete failures, but that's how I've managed to keep going this long. I don't know if my advice will be of any help to you at all (I'll repeat: Even on the internet I'm awkward as hell and can't ever think of the right things to say), but I sincerely hope that you can manage to find a good group of people to call friends. (: Oh, by the way I forgot to put this in my last post, but if you do ever decide to do any kind of modeling, adult or not adult- I can give you tips, sites to go to for free portfolios and things to look out for, and things to keep you safe. There are a lot of creeps out there, but there are ways to keep yourself from getting hurt or getting in trouble. I'm here if you ever need some advice on it (:
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 2:30 am
I have several reasons why I can't make too many friends. I have social anxieties, baaaad anxieties. I can't handle large crowds too well. I'm sure medication would help but I don't earn enough money for that. Hell I can't even afford to get a car and my license! stare I'm darn near twenty-three and I still don't have either of those. Which brings me to my second reason why I can't make too many friends, I can't get out of my apartment too often to go meet people.
Another reason, one I dislike alot, is that I have sick/dark/twisted sense of humor. I'll just keep it at that. But I can be a caring and nice person. I'm usually generous helpful. I was even told one time that if I was religious I'd be the definition of a good Christan.
sweatdrop Sorry, I don't have any advice offer as I'm in the same sort of boat you are.
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 11:50 am
I volunteer for the position of friend. PM me.
I'm a fetishist and a queer and not particularly good at friendship too and I think adult models are the goddamn berries and honestly being friends with one would probably be the coolest s**t ever. Let's be budddddddddzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz 4 evahhh
yeah any of the other kids with similar problems can talk to me too if they want
i dont even ******** know why i called you kids im probably the youngest guy here, WHAT AM I DOING
oh btw i probably dont have any actual advice since im in the same boat as everyone else sorry bout that xp
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 12:08 pm
I would like to get to know you better. PM me.
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 12:23 pm
I also would like to get to know you. PM me.
In terms of making friends... I don't know. All my old friends are gone, and I have more acquaintances than anything else. I simply talk to people and we just connect. I don't know.
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 1:13 pm
First of all, good on ya for the modelling thing; that's very brave of you 3nodding Making friends seems easiest when you have something in common already. Definitely talk to people in your classes, possibly online as well. I think some colleges have like chat forums or something... If you're looking for support/advice with the nude modelling and how to fit that into your social life, you may want to listen to Dan Savage's podcasts "Savage Lovecast," his advice collumn in The Stranger newspaper, or his blog "Slog," I think its called. He goves a lot of advice on LGBT community, polygamy, sex work, and pretty much anything you want to ask or read about. Good luck, and please PM me if you'd like to be friends! ^_^
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 2:06 pm
Making friends may seem easy being friendly and treating them as you want to be treated. My problem is i want real friend. Because lifes not about the people who are true to your face, its the people who remain true behind you back. It seems all my "close friends" werent so close after all. I had this friend Lexi, i thought she was the most real friend ever. But she was telling my ex things that i asked her not to tell anyone. She never kept my secrets, she flirted with my exes or people i liked, she talked about me behind my back. *sigh* Why arent there any real people out there anymore? Now i just decided i dont need people like that involved in my life. Now i dont know how to make friends. Im out of school, i babysit. I have a boyfriend of a year now though and hes amazing, but were in the same place when it comes to friends. The people we've been involved with keep hurting us. Our best friend is his cousin. I dont know what to do anymore. I dont like girl friends that much i just want a bro, cause im not girly at all im a gamer and a music freak. I used to meet my friends on WoW xD but they never stay around. :/
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 7:10 pm
The Plaid Pirate A Hope In Hell Well I can't really relate to the adult modeling bit (though I'm an art student and have seriously considering doing it for the extra cash), but as for the friend's thing I can sort of relate. I've always been... socially awkward, to put it in a way I understand. What friends I have I've cultivated after years of weeding out the fakes and pretenders, and sorting them out into acquaintances, school friends, and real friends, and even now I hide a lot from them. I got lucky with them, they're more accepting than one usually finds, but when it comes to things I draw (leaning towards dark and what they consider "creepy"), my sense of humour (twisted at best), and even the way I dress sometimes (tried wearing a top hat and frock coat last week and got told "I'm seriously not walking with you if you're wearing that"), I get mocked and/or questioned or unknowingly put-down by most of them. Sometimes they just don't understand the things I do and say and so become rather difficult to deal with. So maybe I could relate to that, though I know I haven't gone through what your ex-friends have put you through and done to you. As for advice... generally I make acquaintances with a few people at a time, just two or three that I see a lot. From there, I just find out if I can stand talking to them, and if I can I find out more about them. See if they're interested in the same general things I am. After that, if we seem to have a lot in common, I just talk to them and hang out with them more and more. It tends to work okay. There's always hits and misses and complete failures, but that's how I've managed to keep going this long. I don't know if my advice will be of any help to you at all (I'll repeat: Even on the internet I'm awkward as hell and can't ever think of the right things to say), but I sincerely hope that you can manage to find a good group of people to call friends. (: I can definitely relate to you with the whole wearing something different thing. I think everyone should be able to wear what they want, why dress like everybody else? But I have had friends before that would say the same kind of thing. Just be yourself and wear what you want and the people who are also a bit different in their tastes and wear different types of clothing will end up gravitating towards you. Unfortunately even the ones that dress differently usually aren't open minded enough to accept what I do for money. But minimum wage is hardly enough to live off of, let alone save up for school with! Not everybody's parents pay for secondary education, some can't afford that.
I find that many people in the world seem to lack the ability to see things from another persons perspective. I've seen people kick over a homeless persons change cup and yell at them to get a job, and I always hate that. Because it isn't that easy for everyone- some people have disabilities or mental illnesses and where I live they have cut the funding for all of that so they can barely survive. Plus there are not many places that will hire someone who doesn't have an address or even a phone number for that matter. Or who doesn't have a clean change of clothing or a place to shower.
People can be very cruel, I wish that they could live in their shoes for a week and see how hard it is to make it up from the bottom.
And about your friends, I would walk beside you no matter what you're wearing as long as you were a true friend, so I don't think they are very good friends. A good person and loyal friend deserves a lot better than a friend like that (: Definitely have to agree with how a lot of people can't view things in another's perspective. I see it all the time in my own family and in classes. And I can't believe they'd cut funding for people with disabilities or mental illness!! And as for my friends, I think I may have made them sound more harsh than they are. Usually they'll say such things in a jesting manner, but I've got below zero self-esteem and no confidence in myself, so I take those kinds of things to heart. *shrug* Usually they'll only say things like that when I go all-out/over-the-top with the outfits. Things that draw too much unnecessary attention, 'cause my little group never like drawing too much attention to themselves. But thank you for saying that. =^_^= It's always nice to hear.... well, not "hear" since this is all text... Okay, it's always nice to see.
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 7:27 pm
To be honest most of my friends are socially akward, and outcasts. I'm the weird skinny girl with no butt at my school, but I go to a small school. 7th-12th grade and only 300 students give or take. I'm in 11th grade, my whole 11thgrade is only 42students, that and my school is mostly outcasts. The only reason I have friends is because I'm weird, I only have 3 friends at that school, but they're the best and totally nice. Try finding a place where outcasts hang out, but not too over the top. If your an outcast, join the outcasts! My school, lets just say it's developed in a way where we are all family, we all know eachother, and gossip spreads like wildfire, there's spikes of drama. You really have to watch what you say, some people may think you're plain dumb for one small opinion.
Sicerely
~~Bree (the kid who randomly meows in class!!!...no really)
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2011 9:06 pm
You are the apple...Some of this was tl;dr for me at the moment, but here's a few tidbits I caught while skimming the page... A Hope In Hell See if they're interested in the same general things I am. After that, if we seem to have a lot in common, I just talk to them and hang out with them more and more. It tends to work okay. There's always hits and misses and complete failures, but that's how I've managed to keep going this long. ^This. One of the best ways I know to find friends is to find similarities/common interests and run with it. The Plaid Pirate I've seen people kick over a homeless persons change cup and yell at them to get a job, and I always hate that. ^If i saw someone do this, I would frikin go off on them. That is NOT cool at all. And it takes a lot to make me go off on someone... As for friends, I'm always looking for new friends, so feel free to PM me anytime. I have no problem with nude modeling, since DeviantART has given me a very artistic view of the female body. That's explained better on my profile lol. But yeah, I'm happy to talk to you anytime you wish = ) and I am your core.
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