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Who in their right mind names their son Ferdinand?

Ferdinand was the name of explorers during the Age of Exploration. Ferdinand is not the name of a boy in the modern age and it’s especially not okay to call him Ferdi as a nickname. Ferdi? Do you know how many people ask to see your ‘lovely lady lumps’ when you are a boy whose nickname is Ferdi?

And so Ferdinand, a tall and gangly young man with ever present allergies that seemed to defy all seasons and all prescription and over the counter medication, lived in the modern and painfully boring world. He lived and loved women from a distance because they all kind of scared him a little bit. He liked sci-fi, he liked fantasy, he liked to correct people who misquoted movies, and he had a secret love of being bossed around by bossy women. By the time he’d reached college all of his girlfriends ended up leaving with more of his own belongings than he owned to begin with. He didn’t hate his life though. In fact for a 20-something this seemed pretty normal. But there was an emptiness there and there was a lingering tickle in his imagination that told him there was more to the world and in some reality he was the hero. In this sideways universe in his mind the shadows were real and he knew the truth.

He had a reason though, more than the loneliness and repetition of his ho-hum life. His little brother Nicky had thought the world of him. He was exhuberant, young and imaginative. Ferdi was the best and knew everything. Of course every little brother wants to be like their big brother when they grow up but when Ferdi had been in high school Nicky had disappeared. He’d been taken or lost or murdered. Something. To Ferdi it was a blur of searches, people in and out of the house and doing his best to help his dad take care of mom.

The police said that after the first 48 hours, especially in a rural town like his own, it was absolutely hopeless. Ferdi’s biggest fan was gone and he knew, just knew, that there had to be more to it. Wouldn’t a renegade cop find more to the case than meets the eye? Perhaps he would find a clue himself and use his wits to save the day? Perhaps his brother was the key to some greater truth, selected for a higher purpose that he would one day be enlightened to!

But years went by and Nicky was never found and Ferdi convinced himself that the shadows he stared into, the things lurking in the corners, and the people with powers to help the helpless did not exist. He was just a guy with too much imagination in a world with much too little. He went to college, he pushed it all to the side, and he told himself to just stay under the radar. It was a way easier life. He was just a young guy who had something unfortunate happen to him. He learned to forget the weird things he sensed and ignore the urge to let his stares linger in the shadows.

The man had come then. Just as he’d finally settled in and thought himself to be ‘happy’ the man had come and whispered to him about truth. He whispered to him about taking control of his own life. Ferdi acted tough, acted disbelieving, but just the fact that one other person acknowledged what he thought all along drew him in further. The meetings became more frequent and even though he slouched and sneezed, Ferdi knew almost immediately that he could be that guy. He could have the veil lifted and know the truth that he'd always felt was out there. He wanted to do it for his brother, but selfishly it was mostly for himself. This person believed in him, offered him something, and he wanted with all of his being to make a difference.

So he signed on the dotted line or took the red pill, whatever you want to call it. Ferdi became Bix and Bix found friends. Bix found something in himself deep down. Bix was a survivor, living until the last day with not a single scratch on him. Bix had found and bonded with Before and found in him a surrogate little brother. He'd wanted to keep Before safe from the beginning but let go of that lingering guilt, perhaps over Nicky, somewhere along the line and it allowed for him to live when Before sacrificed himself. Bix met a bossy woman aptly named Boss and for once, they parted ways as comrades (and he'd kept all his belongings). Bix found a meaning in life and death that he hadn’t found before and that was the complete meaningless nature of all of it. They all had some part to play. It was all a game for someone. You either played or you didn’t play. The young man named Ferdi signed his life away in the hopes that somewhere, somehow he could get back into the game that he’d abandoned after his brother disappeared.

Finally able to look back, through the shadowed door, he felt like he’d done a pretty good job in his time on the island. He'd lived more in seven days than in the most recent years of his 'real' life.

He may not have had them when he got there, but when he left he had BALLS.

Courage? Fighting?

Wasn't he dead?

Ferdi.. Bix.. He wasn't sure who he was anymore but he suddenly still wanted to be. In deathly retrospect, he sort of enjoyed the time he'd spent there and the people he had met. Even the grim acts of murder seemed less important now that he was dead yet still... aware. Perhaps his victims were just like him. Perhaps they joined for the same reasons and were also being given another chance.

The voice was right, regardless. Had he really fought? Had his time on the island really represented what he'd signed up to accomplish? People sacrificed themselves for him but had he really fought for himself?

The fight was in him. He could feel it! A weapon would be awesome! He thought about his favorite games. He thought about his favorite myths, legends and monsters. Since he remembered his life he remembered the promis that was made to him by the mysterious stranger. He could become the hero he wanted to be! He could fight for those who couldn;t fight for themselves.

Something burned inside of him, worked its way down his arm (how did he feel an arm.. wasn't he dead?). His fingers twitched and clenched and suddenly he felt something solid in his hand.

It was beautiful and powerful and seemed to suit him wonderfully.

A bow.