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 Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 8:03 pm
(( Self-RP between Hayagriva and Samsara!)) 
It was dusk. Hayagriva walked through the darkening forest with nothing in particular on his mind. He had his share of worries for that day, certainly. Glissando and his family seemed to be fighting and Haya was slightly surprised that it hadn't come to blows by this point. They needed more supervision and counseling, perhaps by his mother. But that wasn't bothering him now.
His daughter, Samsara, had been missing for several weeks. This was both troubling and unsurprising. Her trips away from the herd had been growing steadily longer as time went by. He wished that she would have told him, or anyone, if she was taking an extended leave from the Padmapani herd. He hadn't seen or heard of any danger in the nearby lands for some time now, but that didn't mean it wasn't out there. Even the fate of his daughter wasn't worrying him that evening. Something about the insects buzzing in the trees and the faint cool air of a spring night set Haya's mind at ease and set aside his wandering thoughts.
Tomorrow or later that night he might worry. Right now, he would just walk.
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Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 8:11 pm
Samsara walked through the same forest that night.
Nothing intentional in her mind had brought her closer to the Padmapani herd. She had no desire to live with them again. She didn't even have any real desire to harm them. Her life was full enough as it was already. There were so many new experiences to be had, so many delicious creatures to tear and taste. She had been in such an ecstasy since she had been reborn into this new form. How could she bother herself with what she had left behind at a time like this? This time had nothing to do with her family or old friends. This time was for herself.
And yet something had pulled her into Padmapani territory. Her mind began to register it as she walked. There was a familiar stream here, a berry bush she remembered there. She could remember changing to her smaller size and exploring a tree that she passed. She could no longer change sizes. She would never be able to do such a thing again.
The sense of familiarity gripped her tighter and tighter and her memories plucked at her. She didn't like this. This was starting to make her feel like she had before. She could envision herself being pulled back into that pathetic insecure creature that she had been before. She didn't want to wake up and find that her life had not changed, that her rebirth had been only a dream.
She didn't want to find out that she was herself again.
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Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 8:18 pm
Haya was on his way when he caught a whiff of something. There was a scent on the breeze that instantly caused an upwelling of emotion within him. His daughter! A smile rose to his face and he hurried forward, calling her name as he did. "Sam? Are you there?" He hoped that she wasn't in one of her brooding moods. Sometimes when he talked to her it was obvious that she didn't want him around. Since she was back in the area he could only assume that it meant that she wanted company.
Though the smell was fleeting he didn't doubt who it was. There were very few soquili whose scent he could recognize without a doubt, but his children were in that category. He could have recognized Samsara if he was blinded on a windless day in the swamp. Or so he liked to think, anyways.
"Samsara, I know it's been a while but I-"
He stopped, one hoof frozen midair. White horns, purple body, flutter wings. That much about her was familiar, but the rest of what he saw when he caught sight of his daughter froze him to the core.
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Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 8:22 pm
As much as Haya was shocked to see her, Samsara was equally shocked to see her father. Her breath caught when she heard his voice call her name and she blanked out completely when she saw him. There he was. Seeing him there, she felt like she was torn inside out. It was as if she was a panther wearing the skin of a horse and not the other way around. She remembered him. Caring for him and being cared for. They had fought sometimes. She remembered that too.
"F-father?" her voice came as if from out of a deep tunnel. Who was it that was talking through her now? "You are... you found me. You found me." She repeated those words as if she was a bumbling foal again. Who was she? What was she? Seeing her father again, she didn't know.
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Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 8:27 pm
Haya wished that he knew more gods to pray to. There was recognition on Samsara's face, on that face that he knew so well beneath the pelt that horrified him. Maybe he was mistaken. Maybe there was an interpretation he couldn't grasp beyond that which was obvious. Please, his heart cried out internally. Please... please.... He had no words to follow those, only a single plea to whatever powers that might listen.
"You're... what happened to you? Are you all right?" He could barely even manage to get those short sentences out. His voice choked and cracked, a sign of acknowledgment to what he could not confront. It couldn't be. If begging would have changed things he would have thrown himself to the ground right there.
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Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 8:37 pm
Samsara's legs trembled beneath her. Why did her father have that look on his face? Why did he look so torn, so despairing? Had something happened to her grandmother? Had her brother fallen ill? The sudden pain that wracked through her made her want to cry and rush to him. Maybe he could comfort her. Maybe he could soothe away the fire burning through her like he had soothed her hurts in the past.
"I'm f-fine father," she whispered. Her feline tail dropped limp and dead behind her. She wanted comfort. She wanted home. She began to walk toward her father, tears glittering in her eyes and longing overwhelming her.
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Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 8:43 pm
Tears stood in Haya's eyes as well. Samsara walked toward him but he knew it wasn't Samsara. He had been told stories of skinwalkers since he was a foal. They were soulless creatures. They were evil spirits that devoured the spirit of the soquili and filled that emptiness with fury. They were pain and evil incarnate.
His daughter was dead. Samsara was dead and a demon now operated her body, one that could and would use her previous memories against him.
He felt like he was falling. The ground that had supported the hooves of his life had fallen from beneath him. He didn't understand how he could still breathe, how he could still think and move and feel. Shouldn't he be struck dead by this? Couldn't a soquili die from heartbreak?
Samsara was dead.
A tear slid down Haya's cheek and he stepped away from the monster that approached. He wouldn't let himself hope. He wouldn't let himself wish that she was still herself.
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Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 8:57 pm
Samsara stopped and stared in confusion and hurt. Why was he looking at her like that? Her teeth bared in a grimace of unhappiness that glinted with sharp teeth. Could he not recognize her? Was there something wrong?
"Dad... it's me," she said, her voice barely more than a plaintive murmur. "Dad, please. It's me."
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Posted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 8:58 pm
Haya wanted to shut his eyes and turn away but didn't dare show his back to a skinwalker. That wasn't his daughter. His daughter was dead. No... both of his daughters were dead. First was Adour and now Samsara. He backed away from the demon that had devoured the beautiful mare that he had loved so fiercely.
Not even his mind could find words for the pain that heaved through him. Samsara. Gone.
"Stay back," he warned her with a voice husky with grief. "You aren't my daughter. Stay back."
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Posted: Fri Apr 08, 2011 6:34 pm
Not his daughter? If she wasn't his daughter, what was she? Samsara watched her father uncomprehending. Why would he say something like that to her?
But hadn't he said similar things before?
She remembered the times that he had disdained her. He never said it in so many words, but she knew that he had been aware aware of her hunting before she was turned into a skinwalker. She also knew that he considered it a sin from which she couldn't recover. She had seen those eyes before, those disappointed, denying eyes. Had he thought to himself that she wasn't his daughter then? Had he turned from her in his heart and wondered how he could have sired a monster that ate flesh like she did?
She remembered the times that she had hunted as a foal. Had he known even then? Probably. Did he hate her even then? Her pain mixed with a budding sense of anger. He had always hated the kalona blood within himself. Why wouldn't he have hated it in her? His disapproval had always been evident. He hated her. He always had. He had always hated her and repressed her and kept her from living her life the way she should. Only now was she living her life purely. She ate meat and killed without remorse or parentally inflicted guilt.
He was trying to do it to her again. He was trying to make her feel guilty for something she should be rejoicing in. The fur of the pelt on her back began to rise and a growl slipped from her throat. "How dare you... How dare you!"
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Posted: Sat Apr 09, 2011 4:22 pm
His fears were realized. He saw his daughter- no, not his daughter- react like a monster, not like Samsara. Samsara would never snarl like that. Samsara would never stare at him in that predator's way. Gone. He didn't back away from her but he circled in a way that took him further away from her. She wasn't approaching. Yet.
"Stay back," he repeated hoarsely. "I don't want to fight you." He didn't know if he could even bring himself to do it if he needed to. His daughter. His poor dead daughter. He would have never been able to harm her while she was alive and herself, and his heart would not believe that she was gone enough to let him harm the monster now.
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Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2011 8:08 pm
Rage boiled within Samsara. Her moment of being drawn back to her previous self was gone. Now there was nothing left but hate and viciousness. She wanted to kill him. She could never get back the years that she had spent ashamed of herself because of her father but she could prevent him from doing it to her ever again.
He looked hurt. Good. She wanted him to feel pain. If he felt enough pain it would wipe that disappointed look right off his face.
She stalked toward him as he circled, her head held low and her eyes narrowed. No more. She wouldn't accept his unacceptance any longer. She didn't say anything, she just beat her wings and let the wind carry her into the air. No butterfly had ever been so terrifying as she was in that moment. She flew at her father, fangs and death on beautiful glittering wings. She would kill him. She would kill him right then.
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Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2011 8:26 pm
Flying at him had been a bad choice. Though his eyes were wet with tears, Samsara's attack woke a part of him that wasn't weeping. He instinctively struck a defensive pose in preparation for her attack. Yes, flying had been a very bad choice.
It was almost simple to sidestep her initial charge and then swipe her out of the air with his tail. She crashed into the ground and he jumped back defensively, ready to strike again if she looked to be attacking again. She was heaving herself to her feet now. Haya raised his tail once more and...
He looked into the eyes of his daughter. Past the furred mask of the pelt she wore, her familiar gold eyes looked out at him. Even when distorted by fury they still cut to his heart. He couldn't hurt her, even in this form. If she wanted to kill him he wouldn't be able to fight back.
Haya turned and ran.
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Posted: Wed Apr 20, 2011 7:15 pm
From her position sprawled on the ground, Samsara howled in thwarted rage. Conscious thought was lost to her. The only thing she knew was her anger. She thrashed in animal fury until finally she was able to push herself off the ground. By then it was too late. He was gone and she didn't stand a chance of catching up. She attacked a tree and tore at the branches but the bark between her teeth did nothing to satisfy her bloodlust.
Her father.
Throughout all of her years, her father had attempted to deny her. This time the denial had gone too far. If he could not accept her glorious transformation then she would put him into a state where he would not worry over anything ever again. Elder or not, she would kill him.
Instantly, her heart cried out in assent at this realization. She would kill him. This was the answer she had been searching for in all her life. It was the answer to the questions "Why am I unhappy?" and "Why do I not like myself?" His death would be the solution to everything that had ever been wrong with her.
The smile that took over her face had no joy. It was a murderous grimace. First she would learn how to kill other soquili. Then she would kill him.
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