Sukanya lounged in one of the lower branches of her tree. The sun was beginning to rise, but she did not scurry into her den, longing to see the sunrise for once in a very long time. Since her son Makosa – her precious son – had left to find the male who plagued his visions, the one who was like him, Sukanya had felt...lonely. Adelai'e had gone with Makosa, at Sukanya's urging, since she was terrified that her son would be injured whilst alone. Adelai'e had been worried about leaving her on her own, since she was prone to sickness and while she still felt it tugging at her bones, she had not surcumbed to illness since Makosa and Adelai'e had left, thankfully.
She heaved a sigh, drawing in air to fill her lungs – but a familiar scent gave her pause, and a smile lit her face as she realised where she remembered the scent from.
“Dysi,” she called out, long before she could see him slinking through the grass, his pale fur a stark contrast to the green. The pale faced and pink cheeked male glanced up, with a smiliar grin.
“Suki,” Dysi called back with a delighted laugh. “I thought I caught a hint of your scent!”
Sukanya lept from her tree, moving to greet him with a warm nuzzle. “I haven't seen you in so many moons, how are you?” She said, souding sorrowful at not seeing him, but pleased to have found him for the moment. They had been such close friends, at one point in their lives.
“I'm alright,” Dysi assured Sukanya, but his smile had turned more forced, and it seemed to almost pain him. “How are you, Suki?”
“Lonely,” she told him bluntly, with a weak smile. “Makosa has left me, and I am yet again on my own – I thought I was used to it, but clearly I was not.”
“Ah,” Dysi murmured, bobbing his head in agreement. “We learn to not notice the loneliness, out of necessity, but the second we have a taste of true family, that necessity is gone and our need to ignore that empty feeling is absent – and it's so much harder to bear.”
“Is that how you feel, Dysi?” She prompted, placing a paw over his comfortingly, peering into his face in an attempt to read his expression.
“Me?” He laughed, an almost hollow noise. “No, of course not. I have my daughters. I'd never be lonely.”
“Cubs are different than a partner,” she pointed out, waving a dismissive paw. “Even with Makosa, I still messed having someone there for me, though I must admit, having Adelai'e around helped to ease the burden of single-motherhood.”
A flash of guilt crossed Dysi's face. “You know I wish I could have been there for you, Suki,” Dysi told her quietly.
She smiled. “I know, Dysi, but it just wasn't meant to be. We're not made for being a couple, you know that. Thinking of you in that way makes me crinkle my nose.” She did so, just to prove it. “You're still my best friend though.”
Dysi smiled, his echoing hers. “My best friend can't be a girl,” he whined, jokingly like he might of as an adolescent. Sukanya laughed immediately, a breathless noise, that caused him to frown. “Your lungs...” he said, trailing off.
Sukanya glanced away, looking ashamed. “It doesn't bother me as much as it used to,” she admitted, “but yes, It still pains me sometimes.”
He placed a paw over hers, mimicing her earlier gesture and tucking her head under his chin affectionately. “I-”
“If you say you're sorry, I will hit you,” Sukanya growled jokingly, making Dysi laugh.
“Fine, I won't say it, but know I mean it,” he told her defensively, and Sukanya continued to smile, content beneath her old friend's chin. He was smaller than her, so she had to hunch, but it was a familiar comfort. It was nice.
It seemed so long ago that she was caught in the fire – started by a freak lightening bolt in a dry storm that had ignited the thickets where Makosa and herself had been sleeping that day. Adelai'e hadn't been with them then, as Makosa had been so young. In an effort to get out, Sukanya had inhaled dangerous smoke, her lungs left damaged from it. It rarely came up, but when it did, it left her gasping and wheezing, and left her prone to sicknesses of wet weather.
She had told Dysi when she saw him next, and he had been horrified, trying to convince her to come to the new pride he had found – supposedly a safe place – but she had heard him speak of their favouritism towards cheetahs, and their dislike of lions. Makosa was half lion, and she would not put her son in danger, especially not for the simple sake of her own safety. She had found Adelai'e soon after, and she had been left with a companion to help her raise her cub – and a safety net, if she truly got sick, at least Makosa was not left alone.
Sukanya sighed, returning to the present with a longing tug at her chest. “I miss him,” she mumbled to her old friend.
“I know,” Dysi murmured back. “I still miss Star.”
She smiled. Dysi had been one person she knew she would never have to fear insults from, for birthing a half lion. His adopted daughter was the sweetest lioness she'd ever laid eyes on, and Dysi was utterly wrapped around her paw. He never had a bad word to say about lions, if only because of Star.
“Does it go away?” Sukanya prompted, knowing that Star had left Dysi months ago now.
“No,” Dysi said, ignoring Sukanya's slumping shoulders, “but it gets easier, and you know you can always visit them – and they'll always be your baby.”
Sukanya gave a wobbly smile, pulling back from Dysi. “I don't even know where he is. Adelai'e promises to send word when they find what they're looking for, but I'm still so worried. Should I have gone with them?”
“This is something he needs to do on his own,” Dysi assured her. “A coming of age thing, perhaps, but you tagging along might have kept him safer - but stopped him from achieving what he wants to achieve.”
“You're right,” Sukanya conceded, a tired look on her face. “It doesn't stop me from missing him though.”
Dysi laughed. “No, it doesn't, but it makes it easier to reason why you let him go.” He patted her paw affectionately. “You're a good mum, Suki.”
“And so are you,” she responded promptly, not bothering to change 'mum' to 'dad'. Everyone who knew Dysi knew he was more of a mother than a father, and likely never would change that.
“Sometimes I wonder,” Dysi admitted, sounding tired and bitter. Sukanya was surprised.
“What's wrong, Dysi?” She demanded, staring at him with wide eyes. "Talk to me, sweetie."
“So much, Suki, so much,” he said simply, but forced a strained smile. “Is your den nearby?”
She nodded, and motioned back towards her tree, the dugged out root system of the tree was covered by bark and such, but it was a fair size – big enough for them at least. “Yes.”
“Good,” Dysi said, nodding firmly. “Let me fetch us a snack, and then we can settle down in your den and chat.”
“Girl to girl?” Sukanya teased, leading the way to her den to show him the entrance to find it after his hunt, worried for her friend who looked so worn-down. So defeated.
“Girl to girl,” Dysi agreed, with a small smile – pleased to have someone to confess his woes too, who he knew would never say a word. Sukanya was just that kind of girl, Dysi thought affectionately at the girl he'd know as a adolescent.
He memorised the way into the den, assured his friend he would be right back with a gazelle or something to nibble on while taking – certaintly not a hare – before taking off to hunt, eager for the girl-talk that would follow.
Sukanya smiled and watched him go, waiting for his return patiently, pleased to finally have her girlfriend back - if only for a visit.
[wc: 1,380]
