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[Q] Lazarus Page of Venus // Guernica Black (crit please!) Goto Page: 1 2 [>] [»|]

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Anxious Prophet

PostPosted: Sun Apr 03, 2011 12:23 am


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Lovely art by Shaz. <3 Thank you so much!

Lazarus

It's a crater on Venus!
PostPosted: Sun Apr 03, 2011 1:03 am


Name: Guernica Black

Nickname: Nica, but she strongly prefers her full given name.

Age: 20

Birthday: March 21

Sign: Aries

Gemstone: Diamond

Blood Type: B

Fav. Food: Seafood fondue. She'd eat it every day for every meal if she could.

Hated Food: Eggs, in any way, shape, or form. When she was a child, it was because she knew where they came from. Nowadays, depending on how they're prepared, it's either the taste or texture that gets her.

School: Destiny City University; she is majoring in Anthropology and hating every second of it, but it is a discipline that her parents approved for its diversity and the fact that it will force her to think outside of her own ideals.

And that is a large part of why Guernica hates it. Though she is still early in the degree and will not choose a specialty until she begins to pursue her MA, she is already being faced with a myriad of other cultures, many of which contain practices and views that she finds abhorrent. She struggles with bias on some of her assignments, and this is forcing her to take a more impartial view on some topics, though the process is slow-going.

Hobbies:

DINOSAURS - Guernica loves. Dinosaurs. Most kids grow out of re-writing all their math story problems to include "three T-Rexes" and "two Triceratops" but not her. The older she's gotten, the more passionate she has become about the subject, enough so that she desperately wanted to major in Geology and eventually obtain her Ph.D in Museum Studies so that she could become a professional, practicing paleontologist. Unfortunately, her parents firmly shot that idea down, forcing her to choose what they deemed a more realistic, appropriate career choice for someone from their family. Paleontology they viewed as a childish fancy, one that would see their daughter narrowly confined to one discipline and purely academic social circles; that aside, they are the sort of people who believe that handing their children exactly what they want will only make them value it less. Therefore, she was forced to choose a broader subject for her degree, and consequently, she has to indulge her love of dinosaurs on her own time. This generally involves hanging out at the museum exhibits, tucking up in the library with books, or discussing the virtues of the coolest things to have ever roamed the Earth with small children in either of those places.

Ballet - She teaches one class a week at her mother's school, and practices -- though not nearly as rigorously as she did as a child -- mainly as a form of exercise and keeping her body limber. Guernica holds no great love for dance, having never had a passion for it like her sister, but she made a commitment to the school and refuses to back down from her responsibility. That aside, she gets to teach three and four year-olds, which she considers a blast. By the time they're old enough to be taking ballet seriously, she generally wants nothing to do with them, and that's fine and dandy because her mother and the other full-time instructors at the school are responsible for educating the dancers as they get older.

Cello - The Black girls were expected to not only dance and succeed in academics, but either sing or play an instrument as well! A well-rounded education for a posh young lady, right? Guernica was not thrilled by the idea of learning an instrument, but considering she sounded like a cat in heat when she sang, she was told to pick an instrument or all the texts on dinosaurs would be removed from the family library. When all was said and done, she picked the cello for one reason: its size. It was only after she'd thrown her hissy that she reflected and realized she should have researched to see which she would prefer, but by then it was too late and she was already invested. She grew to love it, at least, and though her technical skill will never be great enough for her to make a living off her music, she does play in DCU's campus orchestra for non-music majors.

Uncle Mal -- Guernica tries to spend time with her mother's brother at least once a week, if not more often. A reclusive, troubled author who has a lot more on his plate than he is willing to admit, Malachi Wellington has reached the point of being unable to leave his apartment for fear of the outside world. As he is Guernica's favorite relative, she doesn't mind doing his grocery shopping and stopping in to spend the day with him; they tend to have lively discussions and she doesn't feel pressure to be anyone except herself while she spends time with him. Of course, she always feels a bit guilty when she leaves because he looks so sad and lonely, but... there's always next time!

Virtues:

Passionate -- Guernica has feelings. Strong feelings. She doesn't think that neutrality actually exists - people who claim to be neutral simply haven't learned enough about the topic at hand to decide if they love it or hate it. When she undertakes something, be it a project, relationship, or cause, she does so wholeheartedly. She pours herself into her work and makes it as personal as she can, ensuring that she puts forth her absolute best effort by investing so much of herself into her actions. She can be an inspiration for others in this respect, though that would be a completely peripheral effect -- she considers her passions very personal.

This carries over into her friendships as well. Guernica may not make friends with too many people, but those she is friends with, she showers with her time and affection. She makes certain that those dear to her know exactly how dear they are, even if sometimes her attentions are largely unwanted; she'll be the first to approach someone, she'll initiate conversation, and she'll carry it if she finds it interesting enough. She pours herself into her friendships just as she does her projects and relationships.

Tenacious -- If something is worth starting, it's worth finishing. She will sink teeth into a project or idea and barrel her way through it, hopefully as quickly and effectively as possible. If something can be accomplished in three steps with the help of two other people versus six steps on her own, Guernica will recruit them and generally just not leave them alone until they have finished whatever their task might be. She hates distractions, does not tolerate quitting; failure is not an option.

Resilient -- This girl can put up with a lot of abuse, and I don't just mean physically, though she can take a punch standing if she needs to. Guernica has thick skin and a stiff upper lip, and she stands by her decisions and convictions no matter how many naysayers try to knock her down. She has very demanding parents who have always expected a great deal of her, and so she learned to toughen up and rise to the occasion early on. She is not the girl you will find crying under the stairs because she can't handle the pressure. What doesn't kill her will only make her stronger.

Protective -- Guernica looks out for her own. You can count on her to have your back if she is your friend, generally without you even having to ask. She is not afraid to be the only person standing up for what she believes in, and on much the same token, she was never afraid to be the one person standing up against a bully for the sake of her friends. She is a pit bull in Prada, ladies and gentlemen; do not underestimate her bite when it comes to her twin or her friends, because she will leave marks.

Flaws:

Proud -- Guernica's word means everything to her. This can be especially troubling because of her impulsiveness; once she's given her word on something, even if it's as childish as picking the biggest instrument she can think of, she will stand by it. She will thrust her chin out, square her shoulders, and refuse to acknowledge that she had been hasty. Of course it was what she wanted all along. Of course it was the right decision. Guernica will not admit that she regrets her choice, even if she wishes for nothing more than the opportunity to rewind time, punch herself in the face, and make a decision after careful contemplation. Her dignity is much more important to her than, oh, the general unhappiness she will suffer while she endures whatever it is that she finds so disfavorable. She was raised to have a very high opinion of herself and her family, and to go back on her word or to admit that she was wrong would be damaging to not only her family's reputation but her own, and this is something that she finds unacceptable.

Impulsive -- When faced with a decision, Guernica almost never sits back and thinks things through. Why? That wastes time! Unfortunately, it also cuts back on all those wonderful things like consideration for alternatives, proper planning, and weighing the risks inherent in the options. This is especially true if she is flustered or irritated; often, if Guernica can't get her way, all of the options that are not what she wants seem equally unappealing, so she'll simply pick something to have made a decision and have the distasteful process behind her. As is to be expected, this often results in her being stuck with something that she doesn't want but is too proud to abandon because she already decided on it. (Hello, Anthropology major.)

In battle, this is especially troublesome because she will respond moment-to-moment rather than think things through. She doesn't consider the consequences of her actions until much later, when she is at home doctoring her wounds and scolding herself for how much better she could have done. She is reckless with her body and her comrades' bodies in battle: it's not that she thinks they'll be able to handle themselves, necessarily, it's that she generally just doesn't consider them because she is too focused on the moment she is in and the fact that she has an enemy right in front of her. She makes snap decisions that sometimes work for her, sometimes work fabulously, and sometimes completely blow up in her face. It's always a gamble, but as it is how she thinks when under pressure, it will be very difficult for her to change this particular habit of hers.

Resentful -- Just because she stiff upper-lips it and stands by her decisions and her word to the point of stubborn ridiculousness doesn't mean that Guernica doesn't blame other people for putting her in a position where she had to make the kind of calls that later set her teeth on edge. Resembling her mother much more than she would like to admit, Guernica will stonily and silently seethe with her resentment, never coming outright and admitting that she feels as strongly and bitterly as she does. Still, she makes it pretty obvious in the little things that she does, the way she speaks a bit more sharply, her general body language toward the people she considers top contenders for "The Ones Who Are Ruining Her Life." It isn't seemly for a young woman from the Black family to have temper tantrums, after all; but the cold shoulder, biting remarks, and social snubs are perfectly acceptable forms of behavior. Her temper is passive-aggressive, one of the most infuriating ones to deal with; she holds grudges, won't come out and confront problems, and will instead resort to underhanded means to let you know you have screwed up and it is time for you to apologize to her.

Intolerant -- Guernica has ideas about the world and the people living on it, and she is inclined to believe her ideas are the best. But more than that, she considers other peoples' ideas decidedly inferior, and refuses to consider their beliefs except in the context to reaffirm her own. She has been accused of being narrow-minded, and her general retort is that at least she knows her own mind, unlike a lot of those liberal-minded hippies. Though she will not venture her opinion unasked (as well-behaved young ladies do not grandstand and preach their values) she will openly criticize lifestyles that don't conform to her ideas if she is invited into the conversation, defending her viewpoints with the kind of bullheaded, single-minded determination that makes people want to clock her one.

This is not just a little "oh, we have a disagreement" sort of situation. She honestly and sincerely offends a lot of people, and she will not back down even when she clearly sees that -- she believes that her stances on everything from homosexuality to abortion are correct and will defend them until she is blue in the face if she has to. It is really a particularly ugly trait of hers, compounded moreso by the fact that she sees her views as perfectly legitimate and reasonable, and the opposition's as... well, the opposite. She treats every conversation on hot-button topics as a debate and an opportunity for her to change someone's mind, but remains inflexible in her opinions.

Because she does enjoy debate, she will generally hear the person out... but most times, it becomes readily apparent that she hears, but does not listen. After you've made your opening remarks, Guernica believes she knows exactly where you stand, and it will take some doing to convince her that you have anything worthwhile to say if it contradicts what she believes.

PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION

Eyes: Brown.

Hair: Her hair, in a nutshell.

Face: Full lips, small, slightly upturned nose, and a beauty mark just above her lip on the left side.

Clothes: This or something like this, paired with some skinny jeans and some kind of cute shoe.

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Anxious Prophet


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Anxious Prophet

PostPosted: Sun Apr 03, 2011 1:04 am


Knight Title: Lazarus PageUser Image

Challenge: Through passion, I gain strength. (Page)

Through strength, I gain power. (Squire)

Through power, I gain victory. (Knight)

NOTHING LIKE THE SITH CODE RIGHT subject to change

Uniform: Okay, so. She will be falling under the umbrella baroque/rococo/venice theme, but I don't want her to look too similar to Sailor Leo's first stage. (Or his second stage, since the Carnival of Venice was kind of his thing.) So I would prefer no masks and... deviating in general from the Carnival of Venice for her!

BASICALLY FOLLOWING THE LOVELY DESIGN BY MY LOVE, PLEASE. She took my craptastic descriptions and made something amazing and beautiful so. <3 The only change I'd like would be for her ribbon to be thicker and more of a sash, so that she could loop it around people or do something fancy with it, idk.

Weapon --

Page -- A long, sash-like ribbon. It's pretty, anyway!

Squire -- The ribbon has become a cloak that Lazarus wears, fastened by a tie. She must touch her brooch to activate her magic; in doing so, while wearing the cloak, her person is perceived to be almost too beautiful and dear to attack. Why would you want to harm something so lovely, after all? Her actual appearance doesn't change, simply the perception of her. This shielding lasts for roughly fifteen seconds and can be used up to three times in battle. However, it can't be successive -- she must wait at least five minutes between each application of her power.

If she takes off her cloak and puts it over the shoulders of someone else, her magic will protect them rather than herself. It may only be used on one person at a time, as only one person can wear the cloak! Lazarus must still touch her brooch in order to activate the power.

It should be noted that this doesn't actually form a shield or offer any sort of physical protection -- she is still fully capable of being hit, but the compulsion to attack her/the person under her magic will be severely lessened because of the perception of the target.

If Lazarus/the ally of her choosing attacks an enemy, for that enemy, the magic will be dispelled at that moment and she will be perceived normally once again.

Knight -- A longer, fancier cloak! The effects of Lazarus' magic are essentially the same, only more powerful. She may still only use her magic on one person at a time, but the effects will last from 30 seconds to one minute. The person wearing the cloak while the magic is activated will be perceived as too beautiful and dear to willfully harm. The magic may be used up to four times in battle, with a wait of five minutes between each application.

If Lazarus/the ally of her choosing attacks an enemy, for that enemy, the magic will be dispelled at that moment and she will be perceived normally once again.
PostPosted: Mon Apr 04, 2011 1:08 pm


One more post to cover any questions/additional notes I need to make. C:

Open for crit! Yaaaay! Feel free to crit the character, the knight concept, the weapon/magic.. suggestions are welcome!

also a note: Guernica's views are not my own, ahhhh. She is much more narrow-minded than I am, which will be fun to RP and develop as she is forced to confront her own backwards ways of thinking and grudgingly grow.

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Anxious Prophet



Guine

Crew

Lonely Explorer

PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2011 3:40 pm


Oh~ I'm really liking her! I mean... I'm not so sure I would get along with her, but as a developed, rounded character she definitely has a lot going for her. I'm pretty sure I know a few girls who remind me of her.

I'm curious as to why you're picking Lazarus. I have some ideas, but I don't want to make a fool of myself and say it. Was there a deeper meaning behind it, or was it just awesome and a must have? Which I think would be totally fine, too! (Okay, I'll just say that I think I see some Lazarus influence in her personality and her attacks, with the ribbon and such, but... that might just be me...)

You mention her interacting with children in her hobbies, but I don't think it's mentioned after that. Does she like interacting with children because she's maternal, or is it because they just happen to add to her need to be right when they agree/look up to her?

I really like her attacks, and I wish I could think of something else to crit. :< She's a well rounded character and I think immobilization really works for her, especially since I can see it being reflected in her personality.

I'm also loving her concept design!

But yeah, that's really all I can think of off the top of my head. I'll let it stew for a day or two, though. <3
PostPosted: Tue Apr 05, 2011 10:02 pm


Thank you! * o* I know that I most definitely wouldn't get along with her, personally.. and she'd pretty much hate me for everything I stand for, lol. But that makes the prospect of playing her really fun and challenging, I think, because it will really make me stretch my boundaries in a character sense. Plus, she has a ton of room to grow. <3

I actually didn't pick Lazarus for any symbolism and now I feel like a derp. I just really liked the name. XD And I wanted an actual landmark on Venus. But now I must do research to see what you mean!

Mostly, Guernica likes interacting with children because they still dream so big. She's pretty bitter about the fact that she can't pursue her dreams because her parents put their foot down, so while she interacts with young kids, she can kind of forget about all that and just enjoy the moment. Also, little kids tend to really like dinosaurs a lot more than adults do, and it's nice to have her enthusiasm shared/be looked at as the super cool adult who knows everything about dinosaurs by kids. As for the ones she teaches ballet to, she likes how they just enjoy dance. It's how she thinks dance ought to be -- fun -- which is pretty much exactly the opposite of how her mother and twin sister treat it.

Thank you very much, though! I'm glad that she's coming across as well-rounded and believable. I try hard to pick a major virtue and a major flaw and work around them so that everything ties together, so that's a great relief to hear. The attacks were harder for me to come up with, because I'm always afraid of being too OP and then end up underpowered or off base, augh. But I really like the binding/immobilization and hope that it's an acceptable sort of magic for a Knight. * n*

The design is all Roma. She took my crappy description and made something beautiful. *__*

Let me know if you think of anything else! Thanks so much for the crit. C:

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Anxious Prophet



Guine

Crew

Lonely Explorer

PostPosted: Wed Apr 06, 2011 7:36 am


Ahaha! Don't feel like a derp. It's just been drilled into my head to look for overlaying concept in places where it doesn't even exist!

And I know you said you're going to research, but I wanted to also throw some things at you, or rather, the things I immediately thought of, just to prove that I'm... hopefully not entirely crazy for thinking of all this when it wasn't your intention. XD;

So, first thing that came to mind was St. Lazarus of Bethany, with the whole rising from the dead/being resilient thing... and also with the ribbon/sash, since he was wrapped in burial cloth... Er... but now that's kind of creepy. So... Moving on.

Then, because my bff is doing her senior thesis on the Crusades and Holy Orders, I get to hear all about the Knights Hospitaller, which... wasn't as well documented as the Knights Templar, and therefore isn't as well known, but once the Templars started militarizing, they started militarizing, too. And from that developed the Order of Lazarus. You were making her a knight without even knowing it! <33

And I also know there's a bunch of artwork from the Baroque period that centers around Lazarus...

And I didn't know this, but thought it was relevant when looking up wiki pages. Lazarus taxon — from her dinosaur hobby. And Lazarus Phenomenon, which... brings to mind her attack (for me, at least), being paralyzed and then being able to move again. Of course, that could also just coincide with St. Lazarus, but... yeah (the attack, I mean).

Fff... Roma always does such pretty art. I love it. <3

I definitely see what you mean about her interactions with children. I feel the same way, sometimes! But yeah, she definitely has a lot of potential from where I'm seeing her. And I do hope to see her soon! <33
PostPosted: Wed Apr 06, 2011 10:03 am


I normally do try to make things significant when I choose names, but I was having such a tough time finding something that fit Guernica that I just pounced on Lazarus. And it seems like a good idea because I am loving all of that info you posted! I am just going to hoard it all and use it for reference with her quest, since it is very fitting anyway. (Lucky shot in the dark!)

* u* <3 She is definitely still open for crits! And I will crit back.

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Anxious Prophet


Silent Spy

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PostPosted: Wed Apr 06, 2011 2:11 pm


I really enjoyed reading about your character! Just a few thoughts that I think could use a little more development or clarity. Most are just questions I have, or think would be helpful to flesh stuff out (although she is very well fleshed out as it is!).

1. Why is she an Anthropology major? Why did her parents shot down her plan to major in Geology and get a Ph.D in Museum Studies? If its not an appropriate job for someone in the Black family, then what is? Why isn't paleontology - is it because its a science? If so, then why is Anthropology a career choice that the Black family would approve of more?

2. Impulsive and Proud read a little bit as similar - that she is impulsive and sticks to her decisions. I like that these flaws overlap and are written to detail how they impact each other, but perhaps some rewording to make them seem different, since they are? For example, in the Impulsive flaw you describe how she sticks to her decisions such as choosing her major - something that seems to belong in Proud more than impulsive. Just things like that; keep them as separate categories of flaws. Maybe just putting 'Proud' as the category before 'Impulsive' so that the reader is familiar with the former flaw first and understands why the latter is an issue.

3. The Intolerant and Resentful flaws might be a little contradictory in how she behaves - but perhaps not. In the Resentful flaw section, she is described as holding back her true feelings about others and just being a bit more passive aggressive instead. However, in Intolerant, she is described as being pretty aggressive and offensive. Is it merely the difference between the way she acts towards people she resents versus in a situation where she states her intolerant beliefs? But does she 'resent' those that she is 'intolerant' towards? How does she act then? Is she typically more passive-aggressive or aggressive and offensive?

4. She is described as intolerant, and seems opposed towards "liberal-minded hippies." As an anthropology major where she may face diversity (or maybe that is just cultural anthropology?), how does her intolerance apply to that? What are some of her intolerant views, to get a clue?

5. For her Knight power, how often can she use her magic ability? She cannot immobilize one limb at a time, but when the effects wear off is she free to use it again?

Again, really enjoyed reading about the character and think she'd be really interesting to see in the shop's environment. She reads as perhaps being a little antagonistic and difficult to work with socially (at least, may be this way for many of the shop's characters), without falling back to being crazy or evil or anything that requires unrealistic explanation. I LIKE.
PostPosted: Wed Apr 06, 2011 2:52 pm


Thank you so much for the crit! It was really helpful and showed me where I needed to clarify and expand, so I went through and added to the profile based on your notes. Hopefully she reads a little more clearly now, and there's a better picture of her given off. =) <3

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Anxious Prophet


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PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 12:41 pm


I really like what you have got going on with her. I have one question and this is possibly just due to my curiosity as I didn't pick up on it while reading her profile.

How does she deal with people in general? Like meeting them? Is she likely to go and meet people or avoid them? Is she likely to make assumptions of people by seeing them or will she be willing to hear what they are really like?

They are just little things I am curious about, I don't know if/how they would fit into your profile but just something that might help to flesh her out a little more? It's just you mentioned how she is overly protective of her friends but I was just wondering who she would want to be friends with etc.

Not overly sure if it's helpful, I am just curious! If you get her I would love to RP her with Skye, they may butt heads a lot smile
PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 3:44 pm


Thank you, Remove! I realized I'd only touched on that a tiny bit in one of her virtues, so I expanded "passionate" a bit to incorporate how she treats her friends and other people. I hope it makes sense, and that it helps give you a better idea of her character.

I also expanded "Intolerant" a bit to give it a little more explanation! I don't think I need to go into her exact specific views there, because those will come up in RP, but I think you get a pretty good idea that she's fairly narrow-minded and conservative in her views from the way I've worded most of her profile. If it needs further clarification, let me know!

I'd love to do some RP with Skye if I get her. * u* <3

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Anxious Prophet


The Red Dame

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PostPosted: Thu Apr 07, 2011 8:45 pm


There's really not much for me to say. I like her overall and didn't see anything glaringly obvious. I really liked her evolving challenges. Good luck getting her!
PostPosted: Fri Apr 08, 2011 8:31 am


Thank you! * u*

She is definitely still open for crit. <3

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Anxious Prophet


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Anxious Prophet

PostPosted: Mon Apr 18, 2011 10:51 am


Bumping just in case anyone feels like giving her a peek. u ou I'll probably submit her to be looked at in an official staff-capacity soon, though!
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